Because this is situational (doesn't happen with friends) she is aware on some level that she is doing it and she can control it. First, look long and hard at your example and see if there are changes you can make - we all can.
Second, set her down (you have to release all judgment and anger first or this will backfire and things will get worse) and sincerely explain to her that you love her and love having her in the family. You are talking to her about how she treats the family because it is affecting everyone's relationship and the tone of the home. Give her time to vent frustrations. Listen, don't fix or become aggravated.
Explain to her that there will be a new system of charting rewards / consequences for specific behaviors. List the behaviors (don't get upset or emotional or she will tune you out.) List the consequences and rewards. Think about what she values - phone, TV, computer, time with friends, trips to the mall, whatever. It is now contingent upon giving respect to the family. Hold to your ground with the system and refrain from criticizing her or talking about her behind her back. If you show her respect and command (demand) some from her, then give it at least a month, you will see improvement.
There is nothing wrong with teaching your daughter to show some respect. Most parents don't anymore and we don't have to look far to see the results. 10 is a hard age for girls, but it is not an excuse and if this behavior is not altered, 13 and 14 are going to be much, much worse.
Best of luck,