16 answers

What to Do with a Bored 11Yr Old Girl?

My 11 yr year old stepdaughter states that she is 'bored' all the time, both at her mother's house and our house. She was the first grandchild on both sides of the family and was excessive spoiled by her grandparents(according to her parents). She has always been given any toy/object she wants, yet she will sit in her room and either stare at the wall, watch tv or draw/color/write in notebook. She is also jealous of her siblings (twins 3 1/2), so we try to give her as much individual attention as we can. ANY SUGGESTIONS would be VERY MUCH appreciated.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I really suggest that you find things to do that involve all of you, even daddy. She must learn that the world doesn't revolve around her, but that there is other members that need just as much attention. (not saying you shouldn't find quality time with her alone) If income is limited, find activites that involve everyone, park trips, indoor hide and seek, or rewards to her when she helps out with the twins. A trip to her favorite movie, or lunch at her favorite place to eat but get her involved with helping out taking care of the twin. She needs some quality time in helping within the family. Maybe Dad could use some help in the garage, yard, or take along to his job one day. Get her out of her room and involved.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

My son was an only child and would complain of boredom, especially during the summer when school was out. What I did was any time he complained of being bored, I would give him a chore to do. It not only cured the boredom, but it stopped the complaining too. :D You could give her routine chores she's responsible for when she's in your home. You may not be her favorite person at first, but it'll teach her some responsibility.

At 11, she's old enough to have chores. I think it helps all kids to have them. What happens is they're given so much (toys, gadgets etc.) that it takes more to keep them satisfied. There's not much you can do about her being spoiled since other people (other parents/grandparents)are hard to control in that area. But she's also old enough to deal with her jealousy over 3 1/2 year old children. It sounds like her problem isn't not enough attention. It's too much attention. I hope you're not offended. I'm just going by the e-mail. I could be wrong about that.

2 moms found this helpful

She needs friends. Is she somewhat shy or otherwise have difficulty making friends? I suggest trying to find social activities where it's easier for her to make friends. Are you involved in a church? Hopefully you could find a good youth group for her. Or maybe you could get her involved in sports. Whatever the activity, I'm guessing she really is lonely, rather than "bored." (The activities you described that she does are all things she does by herself). She is so blessed to have a step-mother that cares so much about her. God bless you. I hope you do get your own biological children too.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,

I remember when me sister was that age, my mother sat her down and told her that life didn't come with a social director. If she was bored, what exactly, would she like to do? Would she like to go to the library to get some books to read, did she want to take a class in dancing, drawing, gymnastics, etc. -- What did SHE think should be done. Then, they started compromising. It's easy to say you're bored when you don't know what it is you want to do. This way, she'll figure it out for herself and learn some problem skills at the same time. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

Good question. I remember being the bored child! What about scrapebooking or some type of craft that she would see her creativity and her talent in? It takes a lot of time so I think it would be something she may find interesting. I also think this would be a good thing for you to do with her if she is feeling jealous. She could have a few different ones for family, friends, school... I never suggest tv or video games but ofcourse children like them =-) Does she participate in any county/city sports? Wow! Great responses below for chores, girl scouts and friends!

1 mom found this helpful

I think spending time with her is the best thing you can do. You, your husband, and/or the girl's mother could have some one-n-one outings with her while one of the others is with the twins. Kids that age act like they don't like grown-up attention, but they really crave it. Ask her what she would like to do or take her anywhere from on errands to a restaurant, movie, museum, etc. Also, does she have a lot of friends? Friends are so important at that age, and having friends over should help with the boredom issue. As you are saying, she has plenty of things; she needs activities.

1 mom found this helpful

I have a 12 y.o. so I know how you feel. The best thing I can say is try to get her involved in some activities. Girl Scouts is great or maybe even a sport.

1 mom found this helpful

M.,
You have to find out what it is that she likes. I would simply ask her if she could do anything at all.. what would it be? (within reason of course) How about a girls day out? Take her to lunch and to the mall/to the arcade? What about helping you cook something? My daughter is 11 and she loves to help me in the kitchen - especially baking something like a cake. I let her do as much of it as she can and oversee it. Then she will be proud of it and want to do it again? try it and see if it interests her?

1 mom found this helpful

I really suggest that you find things to do that involve all of you, even daddy. She must learn that the world doesn't revolve around her, but that there is other members that need just as much attention. (not saying you shouldn't find quality time with her alone) If income is limited, find activites that involve everyone, park trips, indoor hide and seek, or rewards to her when she helps out with the twins. A trip to her favorite movie, or lunch at her favorite place to eat but get her involved with helping out taking care of the twin. She needs some quality time in helping within the family. Maybe Dad could use some help in the garage, yard, or take along to his job one day. Get her out of her room and involved.

1 mom found this helpful

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