What to Do When Your Shower Guests Don't Get Along

Well, that's a lousy spot for any of them oto put you in!!!

To answer your question, I guess it depends on wha tthe reason is for the falling out. If someone actually did something to someone else, then as your friends I guesss you need ot be understanding of it and respect a deisions to invite/not invite or attend/not attend.

However, if they just don't like each other??? Don't indulge the craziness. Don't discuss it. I would say, "Here is my guest list" and leave it at that - invite who you want. If your SIL says she doesn't want to invite them all, then say, "Thanks you for your kind offer, but maybe you should just host a family shower. I can't not invite all of my friends." Then one of your friends should step forward and offer to give you a friends shower.

In theory, the hostess gets to plan the shower, not you. And I don't think it should be on neutral ground, they just need to suck it up and act like grown-ups. However, clearly your SIL should be asking for your guest list. And she should give you boundaries like, "we can only fit 25 people." But she shouldn't get to say who is invited. Hope it works out.

1 mom found this helpful

Invite the friends, have the shower at your in-laws house and enjoy! They are all grown and you are not responsible for their behavior!

Hello, J.!

I'm truly sorry to hear this is happening to you!

My first instinct is for you to tell your SIL to GROW UP - you are NOT in HS or elementary school any more! PLEASE! She needs to suck it up - keep her mouth shut and be a lady for the day.

If you don't think she can do that - after reminding her that this is YOUR shower and not HERS - then tell her "thank you very much, but I cannot allow you to throw the shower if you can't be an adult." Then let one of your friends know what is going on and ask them to step up.

Yes, this may cause fireworks in the family but OH WELL - she's an adult for God's sake. She should be able to suck it up for one day and be polite to people.

Best of luck and God Bless!

C.

It's your shower tell your friends and sister in law both that it's your day and there is to be no fighting. So they don't get along understandale but they can act like adults for your sake it is your day for your baby tell them if they don't like it don't come and if they chose not to then that is there choice. It's what I have done b4 worked really good.

ask them to throw you a smaller little impromptu ed shower with out your shower. do a girls nite out or something, or worn them about her and let them make their minds up you just ignore the problem and relax. tell inlaw that you dont need the stess at this point of your pregnancy.

Since the shower is for you, then the guests should be YOUR friends. I'm sure everyone can put aside their feelings and act like adults for a few hours to celebrate the new life coming into this world. After all, these people will likely be together in the future for your child's birthdays, etc. Best of luck!

This will be your day not your sister-in-laws. Either she plays nicely or SHE can leave. This is about pleasing you not her!!

I would set down with my mother and tell her who you are inviting and ask her if she can be civil on your behalf. If she say she can than i would set down with the friends and talk to them also. Most of the time they will do it for you. But if your mother doesn't agree i would have it someplace else and if she does but the friends don't i wouldn't invite them or Uninvite them. Good luck

I agree. I went to a shower once and came face to face with my husband's ex girlfriend. We didn't hate each other, but it just goes to show that you can't always predict the guest list. EVERYBODY should play nice for one afternoon. It's not about them. It's about you. I would NOT disinvite my friends!

Your friends should all be invited to the shower whether your sister-in-law likes them or not. It's your shower, not hers. If your sister-in-law really makes a big stink about it, perhaps you should take to your mother-in-law about the situation and consider having the shower elsewhere. Good luck.

I definitely think that she should suck it up. The shower isn't about her, it's about you and about everyone getting together for the common interests of celebrating the new baby and your friendship. Not to sound too harsh, but this isn't high school. Any civilized adult should be able to behave themselves for a few hours on one day to make the person that they love (you) happy.

They should be able to get along for the day. Having said that if you will be too worried about them to enjoy it completely than maybe the shower should be on neutral ground or you can have more than one.

I was lucky to have 2 - though I had no issues like that. My best friend gave me one for personal friends and since my husband and I worked at the same health club - our work gave a shower for the both of us. Personal friends at 1 - work friends at the other one. If there are 2 key people in your life - maybe they wish to help you celebrate this milestone in different ways with different groups of psople at each. I'd advise keeping these people separate. Just because someone says they'll keep it cool - you might be worried ALL day that something might start - and even if it doesn't it takes enjoyment away from your special day. Blessings, S.

My family and my husband's family don't get along, and they have different opinions when it comes to showers (my family likes the traditional "women only" showers, his likes the modern co-ed shower). So, I had two baby showers. I gave each person a guest list and made sure no one was on both list.

Maybe your friends could have a small lunch gathering, nothing fancy, in honor of you.

I am very sorry that your sister in law does not get along with your friends. Most of my four sister in laws have never met any of my friends, but the one that has met my friends has never complained. While inviting the guests to a neutral location is probably a good idea, it is also important for the guests to all respect your feelings and to be civil to each other. After all, as you said, it is Your shower.