26 answers

What to Do W/daughters Straight, Fine, Thin Hair?

Hello everyone,

I'm looking for any ideas that you Mom's out there might have as I'm at a loss right now and have run out of ideas. My 4 yr old daughter has blonde, straight, fine, thin hair. My husband takes her to daycare in the morning and he has no idea how to curl her hair let alone put it in a pony tail or otherwise. He's tried, but he fails miserably. So basically he combs through and they leave the house. She looks like a mess to say the very least! It's so upsetting b/c I always work hard on putting bows, barretts in her hair to make her look pretty. She knows the difference and she's not happy about going to school looking sloppy either. She told me the other day "my hair is not pretty Mommy." I felt so bad for her. So....I'm desperate for ideas on what to do with her hair. Her hair grows very slowly just like mine. She's four years old and it's not even to her shoulders yet. Do I cut it in a wedge, do I perm it, what do I do? Help, please...............

Thanks so much in advance!!!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I took her to get her hair cut and we had it cut into a short bob. She looks fantastic. Doing this cut off most of the baby fine hair that she still had left. That baby fine hair was only tangling into knots and splitting at the ends so it had to go.

I truly appreciate everyone's positive and helpful suggestions. And just to clear the air, I wasn't going to perm her hair, in my original request I was simply adding that as a styling option to further my explanation and request for help so that I could be easily understood as how at a loss I was for options.

So once again, I really appreciate that time that all you Mom's gave me to give positive and creative options. You've helped emmensely.

Featured Answers

DONT PERM IT!itll get worse...just keep triming it itll get thicker as she gets older.my oldest daughter was bald untill 2.buy some pretty clips to put in it...:)A.

D.,
I read all of the responses to this because my 4 year old daughter has beautiful blonde hair that is fine and straight and it is down to her shoulder blades. This has been a problem that I struggled with too because I am not too handy with hairstyles. I can do barretts and pony tails but other than that I have not mastered anything else. I have found that stretchy cloth headbands work great. She can do it herself or even Dad could help with those and it keeps things out of her eyes and away from her face but still looks nice. I have not had much luck with the hard plastic kind, but you could maybe give those a shot too. I just hate to cut her hair short so we manage this way. There are also those cute little clips that you can buy now that have the little teeth on them. Scrunchi (I believe that is the brand name) that you can find at retail stores like Shopko, Walmart, and Target have a line made especially for fine hair...look for those barretts and things they are a life saver!! Good luck.

My daughter also has very fine hair, which had been such a struggle, but I decided to have it cut into a very cute short bob and and so happy that I did. Once in a while it still gets a little tangled in the back from sleeping on it, but I spray in a detangler and brush it out and it looks great. We get compliments on it all of the time.
Good luck!

More Answers

Sounds to me like you are giving your daughter a complex about looks already at 4 years old! Cut her hair to something managable and that has less maintenance. Give your husband a break, at least he tries, which is wonderful! I think having to curl your daughters hair at 4 years old is a bit extreme! You DON'T perm a 4 year olds hair!!- I'm sorry I realize this is a "help" site BUT this has been the only request for "help" that I've seen and thought WOW - to even consider perming a 4 year olds hair strikes me as a bit much. I hope that this is considered as constructive criticism. I would bet that your daughter is a beautiful little girl exactly how she is.

1 mom found this helpful

Is your husband willing to be taught how to put her hair in pony tails and bows?

A cute, short cut is good. Then combing it and sticking a bow in would satisfy her cuteness issue and his need for ease. I wouldn't perm it, though. Those are pretty harsh chemicals for such a young child.

Hi D.:

Keep your daughter's hair shoulder length with a blunt back cut.....(when it gets to shoulder length)....she should also have bangs. Gives the appearance of thicker hair. Try some thickening sprays after shampooing her hair. Cost cutters has a really nice texture boost spray....that will work beautifully on her hair. Dad's do not have the finger dexterity us mothers have or the patience involved to do her hair. So, help him practice a really easy ponytail....or a french roll. Which is a ponytail and then make a seem with your fingers in her hair just above the ponytail holder and take the ponytail and weave it through the seem and pull the tail out gently and you'll have a beautiful roll at the top of the ponytail....it will give the appearance of thicker hair.

Practice different hair products and ask a beautician what would work best with her hair.

~K.

My daughter and I have the same problem as well. Half the time hair things don't even stay in our hair because it is just too silky. My daughter decided to get a really cute hair style that is a little below her chin with longer layers. If her hair gets messy, it looks like it is supposed to look messy. I can still pull it back into pig tails or with clips if needed. And make sure you get it cut every 6 weeks. That will help her hair grow.

I also have found that you should not wash it every day. It will do more if it's dirty.

Two pig tails tied with these tiny "ouchless" rubber bands seemed to be the only thing that worked for my daughter for a long time, so that she doesn't get her hair into her eyes. They hold through the whole day. Initially, when her hair was really short, I couldn't even make the full pig tails, I was only making them with the hair from the front and the sides, leaving out the hair on the back. Looks very cute. Another thing that I also did was one "pony tail", except not on the back, but right on top and again, only with the hair from the front and the sides. That looked a little palm-tree on top, cascading in every direction. Again, looked very cute on her.
To make them look perfect, it took me a little practice, though.
There is another thing that I do on occasion - a "crown", or a circle of tails folding into each other. That takes me about 30 minutes to get it done, but holds very well and looks very nice. Actually, I have a picture of that one - let me know if you are interested in seeing how it looks like.

My daughter also has very fine hair, which had been such a struggle, but I decided to have it cut into a very cute short bob and and so happy that I did. Once in a while it still gets a little tangled in the back from sleeping on it, but I spray in a detangler and brush it out and it looks great. We get compliments on it all of the time.
Good luck!

I had to giggle about this because it happens at our house all the time! My 4 year old daughter is blonde and has very fine hair. I am the only one "able" to do her hair at our house and at times it drives me up the wall. Nothing like going away for a weekend and coming back to a kid who looks homeless! What I did that seems to work well is.... I had her hair cut at great clips or something like that and had it cut so its a bit below her chin/cheek line. They under cut it a bit so that it naturally curled under a bit. The hair dresser told me that if I put a wee bit of gel in her hair and blow dried it using the big round brush it would keep for a few days. So she could sleep on it, and with a little combing it went back to the nifty looking bob.

I have fine hair too... and I perm mine but I am going to hold off on even suggesting a perm for my daughter until she can take care of her hair herself.

Good luck!
C.

DONT PERM IT!itll get worse...just keep triming it itll get thicker as she gets older.my oldest daughter was bald untill 2.buy some pretty clips to put in it...:)A.

now doesn't that just figure...daddy doesn't know how to do a little girls hair. for some reason mens fingers just don't work right when they try to do hair.

maybe for fun you and your daughter could go get her hair cut this weekend, and get tips from the stylist...then when you go home you and her can play 'beauty parlor', try teaching her a couple of things, maybe get her some clippys (you know the metal ones that just snap into the hair) so she could clippy it over the ear...

also, you could look on ehow.com they give some good examples of how to do things there...

Hi-you have so many responses, but I thought I would add (hoping you haven't gotten this one yet) that my 4 y.o. daughter loves when I wrap her hair in five or six baby washcloths after a bath. The next morning we take it out, and she has curls. They last up to two days, depending on the weather and her activities. It's a fun thing to do before bed, too!

my sis is a hair stylist and she says to get it cut a bob style with bangs.. short easy and it wont be in her face.. good luck

My girls also have hair that needs to be fixed. My oldest has waist long fine hair and my younger daughter has long naturally curly hair. You would be amazed but if he really tried he could put barrettes in her hair. My DH does it for our younger daughter because she's handicapped and it needs to be out of her face because she can't move it herself. Our older daughter always wants her hair fixed too. We have the fabric, regular and beaded stretchy headbands that work great and my older daughter can do those herself. Also the metal hair snaps work great because he'll just have to push them against her head to close them. You can get them in lots of colors. Just give him a hair lesson or two and he'll do it just fine.
Best of luck,
J.

I don't mean to sound rude, but what exactly is this teaching your daughter at such a young age?
If I had to make a suggestion, it would be a short, angled bob with bangs. Very cute and still "girlie", as you put it.

It seem like you have a lot of great comments already below... I think the best thing for your daughter to do is practice having her fix her own hair. It would give her a sence of pride and accomplishment upon fixing her own hair and let up on the pressure of dad not being able to do it. Hope that these comments help. Good Luck! I have boys so I wish for a girl someday! But for now my boys are perfect!!
L.

i grew up with very fine straight thin hair and still have it. i hate it. all i can say for your daughters is to keep is cut short and maybe try a hair cut that you can just use some mousse in it to give it some fluff. and it should be easy enough for your husband to do that. good luck!!!!

I have a daughter who is exactly the oppisite in terms of her hair being thick and curly but I did cut it in a wedge shorter in the back and longer on the sides and it worked out for us great. I dont think the perm would be the right way to go since her hair is fine and thin it may break off and then that would be an even bigger mess. Im not sure where you live but theres a place called kids hair in roseville, they do a GREAT job and could be very helpful in choosing a cut that would allow for her to wash and wear. I love that your husband tries to put her hair in a pony tail, thats sweet. Kids Hair is located on snelling I believe. Hope it works out!

B.

D.,
I read all of the responses to this because my 4 year old daughter has beautiful blonde hair that is fine and straight and it is down to her shoulder blades. This has been a problem that I struggled with too because I am not too handy with hairstyles. I can do barretts and pony tails but other than that I have not mastered anything else. I have found that stretchy cloth headbands work great. She can do it herself or even Dad could help with those and it keeps things out of her eyes and away from her face but still looks nice. I have not had much luck with the hard plastic kind, but you could maybe give those a shot too. I just hate to cut her hair short so we manage this way. There are also those cute little clips that you can buy now that have the little teeth on them. Scrunchi (I believe that is the brand name) that you can find at retail stores like Shopko, Walmart, and Target have a line made especially for fine hair...look for those barretts and things they are a life saver!! Good luck.

a cute short wedge will help her hair look thicker and stay healthier (ponies break the hair off and can make it almost impossible to grow it out) but if she insist on keeping her long hair ask one of the daycare workers if they could take a second to put a pretty barrett in her hair. (explain how important this is to your daughter and how hard her daddy tries but just cant get it) Remember you PAY the daycare to care for your child and if they refuse i would reconsider the quality of care they are providing.
Good Luck!

D.-
You are so funny...only because I've had this same thing when my daughter was 4. She's 13 this year so don't fret. Her hair was the same, stringy messy..today it's naturally curly and gorgeous. When she was little, we just cut her hair into a chin length bob. So cute, but it does make those little girls look older. Do not perm it, fine hair will only get knotted and tangled more and won't look any better. If her hair is your biggest problem, you've got it made. Tell her she's beautiful everyday and she'll grow out of the hair yuckies.

Hairstylist here!

I agree with the bob suggestion, and maybe with bangs.

I don't agree with a previous suggestion to stack the back.. especially if it is fine BLONDE hair. You will just see scissor cut lines in the hair, and it won't lay right.

You shouldn't perm or color kids hair that young because it is very unpredictable as to how the perm will take.. therefore you are potentially throwing money out the window. Also 4 year olds are figity.. and if they are wiggly when applying the perm solution and get it in their eyes they can go blind!

I'd say that hairdressing just isn't most dad's specialty! So appreciate his efforts, most guys wouldn't even try! (It still can be frustrating though!)

An easier way for him to fix her hair might be to start with it damp, and turn the ends under with a round brush and blowdryer. It will probably last longer than curling it because hair tends to stay the way it's dried. There are also products you can put in the hair before curling it to get the curl to stick better. Sometimes fine hair is impossible to curl without it!

You should come in and see me to get it cut and I can help you out better if I'm able to see and feel what exactly you're trying to work with!

C. B.
The Image Creator
337 Northdale Blvd NW
Coon Rapids, MN 55448
###-###-####

Don't perm it. That will destroy the hair and make it grow slower. If you want it to grow long now, use a headband to make it easier, otherwise cut it short for now and let it grow out later when she's older. Don't try to curl it, it won't hold a curl very long and the heat just destroys the hair.

My eldest daughter, Chloe, 4, has the same problem. Her dad, whom I share custody with, gets her ready for pre-school and somehow taught himself how to put in ponytails. They still look kind of funny, but she doesn't seem to notice. I don't know much about hair, but I'm afraid she might lose some volume from a perm, I had one done on myself once and the chemicals seemed to make my hair weaker. You could try setting it at night with rags:

You get strips of cloth and wind sections of her damp hair around the cloth and tie them. Then your husband could just untie them in the morning and comb through. Try it on a weekend.

Another thing that seemed to work for my daughter was switching to adult shampoo made to add body. You'll have to talk to her about keeping it out of her eyes and that it will sting if it gets in there.

Also, if you and your husband are together with the girls, spend time playing "beauty shop". While you are doing her hair explain to her how and what you're doing. That way both your daughter and husband could learn a few tips. If your hubby's anything like mine, he'd not appreciate a direct lesson (that'd be too much like asking for directions or reading a manual), but he'd feel really good about spying on you and figuring it out for himself!

I'd have it cut in a cute little bob style about chin length. It won't be in her eyes and it'll eleviate ponytails all together, and it still looks cute with barettes too.

My daughter doesn't like ponytails, etc. She'll let me put them in, but later, she yanks them out and while she's at school, she'll lose the clip, binder, barette, etc. Once you cut her hair, it'll be so cute that you'll wonder why you waited so long. Good luck.

Don't perm her hair, it will break off and she'll have frizzies.

Keep it about chin length and get her some hairbands. Most dads can handle that and it won't get as messy or look bad.

Hi! My three year old's hair is also very fine, thin, and straight. On our third visit to get her hair trimmed, the stylist suggested a better haircut for her. The back is 'stacked' - giving it the appearance of more hair - it also lays really nicely. The sides are just past her ears - long enough so we can put a ponytail on each side but looks fine down too. I don't know what they call the style but it could be a wedge. Good luck!

go to www.arbonne.com and click on the hair care info, they have many great products. hope this help. R. L.

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