What to Do Before Trying to Conceive

The only thing you need to do is to RELAX!! And stop reading!! The magazines, articles, and internet is full of conflicting and unfounded advice (as are most of your friends, relatives, and co-workers). Women have been having babies successfully for a long time without all the scary stuff you can read and hear about. You know how to take care of yourself, and that's all you need to do while hoping to be and being pregnant.

Find a mid-wife - forget the OBGYN unless you have some medical condition that you didn't mention. Mid-wifes are great at listening to our concerns and addressing pregnancy as a natural occurance, not a sickness or disease. OBGYNs are doctors who only believe in medication, tests, and procedures. Believe in your body, it was made to do this!

I had my first baby at 41, only saw mid-wifes, never a Dr. and had a wonderful, natural, preganancy, labor & delivery (no drugs no stitches).

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ONE BOOK will answer LOTS of your questions, especially as to when you are fertile, b/c for most of us day 14 is NOT the most fertile day--it is mearly an average. If you have a short cycle or a very long cycle (35+ days), day 14 will be way off; the book is "Taking Charge of your Fertility" by Toni Weschler, PhD Almost all of my friends have used it, even those who had a hard time conceiving. Buy it ASAP to start tracking some SIMPLE fertility signs and you will know what to look for in July if you are even remotely irregular. I got my copy at a local "Waldenbooks", so it should be available in most major bookstores. On another note, this book is also GREAT for women looking for "birth control" without drugs, condoms, surgery, etc. Good Luck!

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I'm 34 and I had 3 sweet full term healthy babies...(one at 19 and 2 in my twenties) You should start taking Folic Acid at least a month before trying I have heard and you should take it daily...STAY active..The MORE ACTIVE you are the easier your labor/delivery..(at least that was the case for me) the first baby I was not as active as much and it was hard labor...If all past medical exams have been GOOD..You can start trying when ever you want...(I was told seeing the OB was enough) I was never asked to see the OB and the primary Doc before...(we tried)You can die your hair prior to concieving...I just know that once you concieve you should avoid dying your hair...I have heard just e a normal healthy diet...Go to www.americanbaby.com there is a calendar there help you find your most fertile days..That what I used...(It was a HUGE help!!Ask your Doc about Books...My Doc gave me a couple and those were the best!!!

Good luck to you Sarah! One thing that helped us was purchasing an ovulation kit. They are reasonably priced, and if you're lucky, you'll only need to purchase one! It helps you pinpoint your most fertile days, and it worked for us. You can find them in any store that sells pregnancy tests. You sound like you've been doing all of the right things to prepare your body for pregnancy - exercise, eat right, and don't stress! Enjoy life and I hope all goes well! P.S. It would be a good idea to get a physical, especially if it's been several years since you've had one. And I colored my hair throughout pregnancy - just check with your doc - everyone's got differing opinions.
Sincerely,
N.

I highly recommend the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" by Toni Weschler (you can find it on Amazon.com). I really believe that by reading that book and truly understanding my own cycle is what helped me get pregnant with my first child and my current pregnancy. Good luck! This book is very thorough and helps you understand how to read your own individual body signs for when you are most fertile, etc. I really learned alot from it.

Sarah, I can't answer all your questions but a couple of things really jumped out at me. First, I would look at the ingredients of your smoked turkey breast to determine if there are any nitrates in that product. If so, I would eliminate it. Many "smoked" items plus hot dogs have nitrates. You can google nitrates and learn about the negative effects. Next, I would definitely take a look at your intake of vitamins/minerals. Women's one a day has very little to offer. You need a high quality supplement that can provide for optimal nutrition - See "The Comparative Guide" written by Lyle MacWilliams for a listing of products and how they compare. Third, check your diet for sources of folic acid. Folic acid is very important in the development of the fetus that you should have an amply supply before you are pregnant. Wishing you the best!

Just remember all the "accidental" pregnancies out there, that were not planned and turned out to be perfectly healthy. So, try and relax and definately get the opk. My husband and I tried for almost a year with our first, and as soon as I got the opk I got pregnant the first month, they really do work. Timing is everything!

I'm only going to respond to a few things here. One, is if you're eating lunch meats, careful if it has sodium nitrate or nitrite. It's a disease-causing preservative. Also, I would stock up on sunlight as much as possible. The sun gives us a nice mix of UVA and UVB rays (tanning beds don't) and is a great source of vitamin D! That's a great thing since I read somewhere that over 90% of babies in the US are born with a vitamin D deficiency.

Books I would recommend: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. Birthing from Within by Pam England. (I personally did not like What to Expect When You're Expecting. Someone nailed it when they said it should be entitled What to Fear When You're Expecting. Besides, it's very mainstream. I mean, she still talks about the food pyramid. Most of the news watching, mainstream population would probably agree with most of that book, but I did not. I do things a little differently I guess.)

Have fun!!!!

First of all GOOD LUCK!!!! I truly hope you are one of those fortunate people that get pregnant right away! My husband & I tried for 1 1/2 yrs w/ no luck--then started seeing a fertility specialist (for about another year)--ended up having to do in vitro. So the following are recommendations based on my experience

Your husband--he needs to keep his cool--literally! Our fertility specialist recommended that the husband not wear any tight clothing that would be restricting or hot (i.e. tighty whiteys, bicycle shorts, etc). Also to refrain from any activities that would cause heat for a length of time (again cycling, hot tubbing, etc)--just keep a good air flow. Just until you conceive, then he can go back to his regular activities. Also, he needs to watch his alcohol & caffeine consumption--doesn't need to cut it out completely, but to really limit it.

I read What to Expect when you're expecting. Start taking a prenatal vitamin w/folic acid & if possible one with DHA now. When you go to your dr. bring it along. They may prescribe a different one for you, but at least you will have been getting a start on the folic acid. I don't remember needing to limit any foods while trying to conceive, just once I became prego--other than caffeine and the obvious alcohol--no alcohol was recommended. Also, don't get worried if you don't get pregnant right away--it takes the average couple 6 months to conceive!!

Again I want to wish you the best of luck!!! It's such an exciting time!

Get nitrate-free turkey meat if you can. You write you like smoked turkey breast, that's why I suggest it.

Also, I think the more relaxed you are the greater chance you have of becoming pregnant. And as far as vitamins and check-ups, that's fine to do now but believe you me--you will have more of these than you can shake a stick at once you do get pregnant. Chances are if there is something wrong with you physically it probably wouldn't cause you to lose your inspiration for conceiving. I suggest relaxing as much as possible and get a head start on reading good baby books such as anything by Dr. Sears. Our favorite one was the Dr. Sears Baby Book. I always wished I had done more reading before my first baby. Baby Buddhas, A guide for teaching meditation to children by Lisa Desmond is quite nice as well.

As far as alcohol, I suggest if there is a chance you could conceive then perhaps you ought to abstain from drinking anything. Cutting out caffeine and pesticides from conventional fruits, vegetables, and meats is also good.

Make sure your B vitamin has folic acid in it. Very important to eliminate the risk of the March of Dimes birth defects. You should have folic acid in your system at the time of conception. Check out Isotonix B Complex at www.marketamerica.com/graichen for a really great brand of B.

When my husband and i tried having a baby, we just stopped birth control and decided to relax and just let it happen. I did take a multivitamin, but that was about it. I find that if your body decide when it is time, and not tell anyone until you are sure you have conceived. I find that people who tell people they are trying have more stress and feel like it is taking forever. Just let it happen and have fun practicing, cause practice makes perfect, i know perfect was born April 14.

Hi Sarah
Relax and enjoy the process.
If it happens- super!
You're most fertile within 12 hours of ovulation- do you know your cycle. Have you ever taken your temps- you have a temp change the day you ovulate. Usually around day 14=16 for a 30 day cycle if you're normal cycles.
Make sure you supplement with an omega 3 fatty acid- your baby will deplete your body of this for it's brain development- and you shouldn't be eating a ton of seafood or fishes high in this while you're pregnant.
You're young, healthy- just go for it.
You can add in an ultrasound for your July appt if it happens- then you have another reason for your annual appt.
Good luck
B. J
mom of 6 yo twin girls, wellness coach, med. prof.
____@____.com

I would suggest the book ,Taking charge of your fertility. It explains all the questions you just asked and why. I would wait till after you see you OB and she should put you on a prenatal vitamin. Your OB should also be able to help you figure out what your most fertile days in your cycle are. Good luck to you!!!

Hi Sara,
I saw you had quite a few responses and didn't get a chance to read them all, but I wanted to share a little bit of my advice.
Just to let you know a little about me, I just turned 30 and gave birth to my first child 4 months ago.
2 books I reccomend during pregnancy are Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy and The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. One thing to remember about reading books, is you can absolutely drive yourself crazy reading all the books, because they all tell you something different and you can absolutely worry yourself to death over the littlest things. My advice would be pick one or two books and don't read any more than that and if you are a worrywort, like myself, then stay away from the internet.
About the puppy, I would definitely wait until that puppy is more mature before you conceive. Puppies are alot of work by themselves and when that baby comes along, you will have absolutely no time for the puppy...so I would wait until the puppy is older and can actually wait 8-12 hours before having to pee, because trust me, there will be days in the first few months of that babies life, when you will just forget to let the dog out. It happened to me more than once, but my dogs are much older dogs so they could handle it better.

Start taking your prenatal vitamins now, that way your body has enough folic acid when you are ready to conceive. Generic prenatals that you can get at Target or Walmart are perfectly fine, but do the prenatal and not the flinstone, you need the folic acid for the baby.

You can dye your hair during the pregnancy and it will not harm your baby at all, you can get manicures and pedicures during your pregnancy and it will not harm your baby. Overexposure to these chemicals is when things can get harmful, but a couple hours every few months is not going to hurt your baby at all.....it is perfectly safe.

The only food you should avoid is fish/seafood that has a lot of mercury in it. Too much mercury is harmful to the baby's brain. Shark, swordfish, macral...you should stay away from. Many people stay off tuna while prego, but not necessary, in fact, tuna is one of the best foods you can eat for the baby's brain development. It does have some mercury in it, so you should not eat it everyday, but 1-2 servings of tuna is excellent for the baby's brain.

If you are a typically healthy person, a physical before you get prego is not necessary, but if it makes you feel better, then certainly do it. Congrats on the 20lb weight loss....after you get prego...continue to work out, it will make your delivery so much easier. Continue to do cardio and light strength training while prego. Don't get your heartrate up past 160 for more than an hour a day once you are prego. I worked out my entire pregnancy and my doctors tell me that is why my delivery was so easy because my muscles were strong and healthy and I had the stamina to last through my rather long labor.

Congratulations on this big life decision. I hope that it happens at just the right time for you and I hope you have a very healthy and happy pregnancy and a healthy and happy baby!!!! Good luck!!!!

It sounds like you are already stressing yourself out. Stress prevents conception. I had a friend who also stressed and it took her 9 months with her 1st and 7 months to conceve her 2nd. I just relaxed and said, if it happens it happens and boom same month on both. Prenatals are a good idea before pregnancy so when it happens you already have vitamins. Good luck and please do "try" cause that way doesn't work:-) Just have fun with it.

You are being very responsible and on your way to parenthood!

Some tips is to start taking a prenatal vitamin that has folic acid in it...something that is essential to begin prior to becoming pregnant. A generic Walgreens or Target brand is fine.

To help you conceive quickly, it's best for you to lay off the caffeine (tough to do I know...I'm a caffeine addict), although your husband doesn't have to.

Things to eliminate other than drinking are sunless tanning gels, tanning beds and hot tubs...all are no nos when pregnant.

And I think once you've started your folic acid for a few weeks, you'll be fine to begin trying...no need to wait until your doctor appointment in July.

Best of luck...I pray it happens quickly for you and your husband and that you have a healthy baby in a year! Sounds like you'll be lovely parents!

Hi Sarah
Here is a good book to help with finding when you are the most fertile because every women is different. The name of the book is taking charge of your fertility. It is a really good book and I found it very helpful. Good luck
N.

Hi Sarah-

I usually don't respond too much online because I just don't have much time, but when I came across your entry- I had to write you! You sounded JUST like me when my husband and I decided we were ready to start trying to conceive! It's almost ironic- I think I actually had a longer list of questions, believe it or not!

I'm now 30 yrs. old and have a 15 month old (BD 2/12/07) and am getting ready to deliver my 2nd on Friday!! So, I thought I'd try and help you out a bit....

First, take a breath and realize that no matter how much you read and how much you "prepare" yourself for Motherhood, you will never actually be fully prepared- it's one of those things in the life that we kinda have a go at it full force and realize that alot of it, we have to learn along the way. For people like me (and I'm assuming you), that is difficult b/c we've been prepared for everything in our lives- school, new jobs, careers, etc. So, motherhood can be a bit overwhelming b/c no one and I mean no one can give you a book or manual with all the answers in it...I promise!

Your ??'s:

You can start trying to get prego anytime you want! You can buy ovulation kits over the counter to help you track your cycle. If you're not prego by the time of your exam, I'd fill your OBGYN in and keep her abreast and ask any ??'s you may have.

The OBGYN apt. is enough.

I'd start taking prenatal vitamins (I also take a DHA vitamin) immediately- you can never be too cautious on this end and they won't hurt ya!

Most people will tell you to avoid the foods and beverages that you should avoid while pregnant when trying to conceive b/c in theory you may be ingesting this while you are pregnant if you are successful. I was very attentive to all of this when trying to conceive my son- I ate all organic, I avoided all things on the "no, no" pregnancy list, I drank no caffeine or alcohol of any kind, etc., etc. and to be honest, I really stressed myself out. I, personally, think it affected my ability to conceive. We went away with friends on our anniversary to Vegas and I let myself kinda do what I wanted and wallah......we brought my baby home with us! I didn't even know I was ovulating. Same thing with my second child, I was breastfeeding and we weren't trying to conceive and then, wahha.....2nd baby due in 5 days! So, the point of what I'm trying to say is that yes, I think you always need to be vigilent of what you put into your body, but really it's nothing to stress out about. If you're a healthy person to begin with, let yourself enjoy this time of trying to conceive instead of stressing yourself out about having a glass of wine or water with lemon or a cup of coffee. Your baby will be fine and really just leading a normal, healthy life makes conception much more feasible.

Yes, you can dye your hair before you conceive. My Dr. allowed me to highlight my hair all throughout my pregnancies- you should avoid all hair dye that comes into contact with your scalp (Highlights do not). You should avoid tanning and hot tubs.

I would read up on Baby Center.com about your most fertile time in your cycle- you could also track your cycle online. If you have difficult trying to conceive, this will be great info to take into your ONGYN's office with you when you go in July. It' s a great website and I used it a ton when we first tried to conceive.

Books- All of the standards are great...What to expect when your expecting, Belly Laughs (I didn't want to read this at first, but it was hilarious- read after you get prego), Conception Chronicles, etc. I think I read everything the first go around. But, again, remember that no book will ever be able to give you all the answers- ask questions to friends and family, people online, you Dr., etc.- that helps the most!!!

OK- I wrote you a book, but take a deep breath and know that it will all turn out great!!!

Let me know if I can help you out any more!
C.

Unless you've been using birth control, or have other medical concerns, why not start now? If you have been using bc, most doctors recommend stopping and giving yourself at least 6 months to get your cycle back on track etc.

Take Prenatal Vitamins now. They're really important for the health and development of the baby. What you put into your "stores" now are what the baby will be drawing upon for development and nourishment.

Regular daily vitamins designed for women's health do not have enough of the most important vitamins and minerals needed for baby's development during pregnancy. Prenatal vitamins have higher amounts of Folic Acid (which is scientifically proven to prevent spinal/neurological disorders such as Spina Bifida) and Calcium (which the baby needs lots of to develop his/her skeletal system. If you don't get enough calcium prior and during pregnancy, the baby will get calcium directly from you! Many women in poorer countries w/o prenatal care often develop terrible problems with bone structure and calcium stores after pregnancy because of this...so drink up and take those vitamins). Now many prenatals include DHA and even Omega-3 which are supposed to be important for baby's brain development and more. Because of all of these important requirements during pregnancy, while 2 Flinstones may be adequate, I'd say take a vitamin designed specifically for pregnancy to ensure you're getting everything currently recommended for baby's health. When you finally get in with the Doc, if you're not happy with what's available at the store, ask for a prescription from the Doc for a vitamin he/she recommends.

As for foods and activities to avoid; The obvious as you already mentioned, alcohol and smoking. It's also advisable to not eat soft cheeses (like brie), raw foods like sushi, more than 1 serving a week of sea foods (risk of mercury poisoning), and to avoid any foods that have been sitting out for long hours such as at picnics. Pregnant women are very susceptible to food borne illnesses, and almost all docs will tell you not to eat these things during pregnancy. Many sea foods like Tuna for instance come from contaminated waters and have exceedingly high levels of mercury which has been known/proven to affect the unborn.

Take it easy during summer months if you do conceive. Pregnant women are most susceptible to heat illness and complications. Drink more water and avoid too much direct sunlight. Most docs recommend against hot tubs and long hot showers because you and the baby could have complications. Your body temp is naturally higher during pregnancy, any outside fluctuations during pregnancy can cause problems. Your doc can explain more.

As for hair dying, lotions, cosmetics, perms, even tanning, there's a lot of information out there..some conflicting.

For sure, you should not dye your hair during pregnancy. Chemicals can and do leach into your system through your skin, and certain compounds in these products can negatively affect the baby.

There is some disagreement about perms. Some docs say that's okay if the stylist doesn't get the solution on your scalp. The more conservative docs say forget any all chemical treatments during pregnancy.

Tanning is another one of those things where you'll get mixed information. Many docs frown on tanning booths, saying it may not be good for the baby. Currently, there is now more information coming out about tanning lotions, sunscreens, even daily moisturizers possibly not being safe to use during pregnancy because the chemicals in them are absorbed into your system and the baby can be affected. If you want to use stuff like that, many moms are looking to organic and natural products as an alternative, otherwise are just doing without.

This growing theory about safety of products also goes for cosmetics as well. Earlier this year, it came out that many lipsticks, blushes, etc. have high levels of lead and other heavy compounds as "preservatives" in them which is an absolute no-no for pregnancy. They may be keeping the bacteria down, but they could be taking care of those wearing it as well. In fact, many big named cosmetic companies had to pull their products off the shelves. Still many more are continuing to manufacture the products with that stuff in them. The only way to know for sure is to search the internet for current information. Or, once again, the solution many moms are looking to is organic and natural cosmetics to be on the safe side.

As for most fertile time... you should read up on fertility monitoring and charting. It's often referred to as "natural family planning". By reading certain but reliable body signs that a woman has each month, you can determine the window of days fertility is optimum. The window is 1-3 days for most. But if you can master this skill, it will be most beneficial for family planing. It works barring you don't have any underlying medical illnesses or problems. And even then, with the help of a doctor skilled in this area, you can still conceive.

You could also get a fertility monitor from the drug store, or the ovulation test strips..but these are really expensive..and only give you a general idea of when to try. It can take a few tries with these before conception. However with the natural method, most concieve right away.

Books you may want to read that address both your nutrition questions and the fertility question are:

The Art of Natural Family Planning, by John and Sheila Kipley
The Ovulation Method by John Billings
Your Fertility Signals by Merryl Weinstein
Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition, by Marilyn Shannon
The Natural Pregnancy Book, by Aviva Jill Romm
The Complete Organic Pregnancy, by Deirdre Dolan

Hi Sarah -

It's great that you want to do everything right even before you conceive! I've been lucky enough to be home with my kids since they were born. They are now 13 & 15! Time really flies, so enjoy the whole process from conception on :) One of the big things is to take good prenatal vitamins. You should start with that right now. The over the counter vitamins are synthetic, so you don't absorb much of them. Better to take a natural vitamin that your body will recognize as food. I've been introduced to a Wellness Company that has fantastic vitamins plus great products to detoxify your home..another thing that you should do before baby comes. It's a wholesale catalog shopping and, in fact, it's allowed me to stay an at-home mom just by sharing information about getting better, safer products with others. I'd love to share the information with you and see if it makes sense for you as your start your journey into motherhood.

Keep eating healthy & working out. Yes take a good prenatal vitamin, make sure it has folic acid in it and also find a good, safe Omega 3 (DHA, EPA, Fish oil) supplement. This is good for you and excellent for a baby, it helps in brain development & has even shown to help children with Autism & ADHA. Coromega is a good brand that actually doesn't taste bad & you can then give it to your child when he/she starts eatign solds too (my son loves it). You will want to find a brand that is certified as mercury free.

There is a good book called taking charge of your fertilty that can help you determine your most fertile times & take a lot of the guess work out of when the best time to try is.

Good luck!