What to Do About School Bus Behavior

Tell them the new rule is they HAVE to sit apart on the bus. Tell them both you are going to ask the bus driver each day if they were good or bad that day. If they were bad they are getting a consequence....something they love taken away....like no video games for the rest of that day (or whatever you think will work). I would do what others suggested and get the bus drivers phone number and call and talk to him about what they are doing. Also tell him of your plan and he can give you a thumbs up or thumbs down each day. I like what someone said that if they are good all week then they get to sit together on Fridays.

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J.:

Hello!

WOW!!!! You have a lot to consider. I would consider spending the money on a second car - a reliable one but a cheap one. How do you pick the kids up from school if they are sick? How do you run your errands during the day while the kids are in school?

1. STOP the bullying at school. PERIOD. Call the principal and teachers and get it stopped NOW!!! You are your child's advocate - car or no car - STOP IT NOW!!! Communicate with them daily until it stops. If it doesn't stop, contact the school superintendent. If that doesn't stop it - go to your County Superintendent. Stealing is WRONG! Bullying is WRONG!!! Bad behavior on a bus is wrong - this not only jeopardizes HIS safety - but that of everyone else on the bus.

2. The boys MUST sit apart from each other on the bus. No question, no comment. PERIOD - APART.

3. Staying home from school for a suspension is PUNISHMENT - no TV, NO computer, NO hand-held games. NOTHING. If this happens, plan a day of home schooling. He doesn't like it? Too bad! It's not a vacation. He did something wrong and there are consequences to his actions. If he has fun - why not repeat the behavior so he can stay home again?

It's not up to the driver to tell you what's going on, while it's nice - the fact is you need to step up. Talk to the kids SEPARATELY. If you have the authority to punish the boy you are watching - consequences for their actions are a must - this is NOT a "feel good" thing - this is about morals, integrity and behavior.

The bullying at school is probably causing him to act-out on the bus - is either acceptable behavior?! NO FRICKING WAY!!!!!

Rewards for good behavior - start out small and work your way up. Rewarding good behavior is always a good way to go - you don't say how old he is either so I'm not sure what rewards would be appropriate.

You state your son is "no angel" - I know my boys aren't perfect either. However, this year during the first week of school they both were acting like devils - I nipped that behavior in the bud - I didn't just laugh it off and say "boys will be boys" or "he's no angel" - I stepped up and made their life a tad difficult. I made consequences for their actions. They didn't like it. They missed their "time" I told them how to get it back. I set boundaries and limits. Consequences for actions - good consequences for good actions - bad consequences for bad (inappropriate, unacceptable) actions.

You are the adult. You are your son's advocate. This behavior could be directly related to the the stealing and bullying at school. I don't know. But I do know that you need to TALK WITH your son and this other boy and get to the bottom of NOW not later.

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Make them sit apart. Tell the driver next time you see him that these two are to be seperated. If they do not listen make them sit after school and until the end of the night with NO entertainment. No TV, video games, texting, etc. And if there are any girls in your neighborhood that are on the same bus try asking them what is going on-girls are great for information!

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I have been a school bus driver for over 7 years and you are right, he can,t talk to you when he picks them up or drops them off but he CAN call you between runs. This is what I do if I have a problem and the parent wants to help. I do hate to say this but if the driver has a problem controlling the students on his bus this it could be making your childs behavior worse. I only say this because you had to ask how he is not the driver telling you, which is what I do if I have spoken to the parent. Good reports too! I would see if anyone else was told their child was haveing problems if not see if you and the driver can come up with a plan. I would suggest seperating the boys and sitting them upfront that always helps.

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Have you asked the principal of the school if you can ride the bus one day? I know we can do that here if we really want to, but you have to fill out a form and get approved and everything. My daughters entire bus had a letter sent home recently about bad behavior, and same thing, they're very vague.The entire bus is about to go on suspension! I asked the principal about it and SHE road the bus for 2 days, to and from school... she said my kids were the only ones behaving, but if the entire bus went on suspension, then it wouldn't be cost effecient to run that bus just to pick up my kids. Not only am I worried about my children on that bus with the misbehaving children, but I'm worried about the bus not running! I might get on that bus and tell those kids what's up, LOL! I would try to get yourself on that bus to see what's really going on. Best wishes!

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I am assuming that these are elementary age children. Does the school assign upper grade (5th/6th) grade students to be bus monitors? That is what my son's school does. The bus monitors have the authority (with back up from the driver as needed) to tell kids where to sit if they are not behaving well near each other. My son usually does not have enough self control to sit near his best friend. If he and his friend behave on the bus all week then the monitors let them sit together on Fridays.

Contact the school and find out the best way to determine what is happening on the bus. If it is a private company, the school will have procedures for communicating with the company or getting a report from the driver when he arrives at the school. Let the school know your concerns and that you want to address the behavior issues before it becomes a problem.

If it seems that the other child is the main source then you may need to not watch that child for awhile rather than risk having your son be punished because of association.

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You need to get to the bottom of several issues here. The behavior on the bus rides and the bullying at school.
Read up on the schools anti bullying policy - they have a duty to put a stop to it. If they won't take action, threaten to take it up with the school board / supervisor and follow through if you have to. If other kids are out of control, they need to be suspended. There is no excuse for your son to have to put up with this.
As far as the bus goes. Have them sit separately but as close to the driver as possible. Get in contact with the principal and have him/her report to you on bus behavior (daily/weekly what ever interval works best for all involved). At the beginning of the year, our school district has the rules explained/read to the kids, the consequences for breaking the rules and they (and parents) sign saying they understand / will obey the rules. Tell the kids that good behavior / good reports are what is needed for them to earn privileges (computer games, watching tv shows, etc). Bad reports means no/zero/zip privileges. If you need to, as further punishment, after their homework is finished hand them old tooth brushes, sponges, some baking soda paste and they can scrub bathrooms (floors/sinks/shower stalls) etc till it's time to leave / bedtime. There's never an end to things that need cleaning. KP duty works wonders in the Army. It gives them time to think things through and keeps them too busy to get into further mischief. If they behave, life after school can be quite pleasant. If they refuse to behave, life after school can be quite miserable - and do NOT deviate from this. They make choices (good and bad) and will live with the consequences. Learning this now is a lesson that will serve them well the rest of their lives.

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First of all, me being a bus driver myself, I would seperate them on the bus. I would also recommend that you call the bus garage and maybe arrange a meeting with the driver or have him call you when he gets back to discuss the problem. Some drivers may not really care but I do. I need to get these kids to and from school and safely as possible. If that doesn't work then call the school itself. Don't be afraid to tell them that the driver is not cooperating with you to get this matter fixed. Explain your situation and maybe they can help you. I would also seperate them when they get home. Have your son go to his room and leave the other boy on the couch. Depending on their age make them do their homework. Tell them that if they don't behave on the bus then they cannot be together when they get home. AND STICK TO IT! Maybe that will make them think twice.

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My husband was a bus driver for a few years after he retired and there are things your bus driver can be doing to help. He can set them up near him, where he can monitor their behavior a little bit more easily...and he can seperate them so that they are not sitting with each other. Put them with older children possibly, that they would not be so apt to be bully and be mean to.
I would also go to your school principal and ask to have a meeting with him and the bus driver, get to the bottom of this, the whole story....so you can react appropriately with the boys. I would also consider having the boys brought into the meeting after you have all of the facts...(or on another day if that is necessary)....have them apologize to the bus driver, and any other children that they have involved in their mischief...and let the principal have a discussion with them about what is going to happen if the behavior continues.
You also need to get the other Mother involved in this....let her know what is going on , after you have all of the facts, so that they can be dealing with it there at their home too.
The only positive thing is that the actions may not be very extreme...since you had to go check and see if things were going alright!! I Would think, if the behavior were truly disruptive or worthy of being suspended...that the bus driver would have been pro-active about it and you would have already heard that the behavior had not improved!!!
Good luck to you...your best approach is a no nonsense...I am not putting up with this anymore attitude...let them know you mean business!!

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Of course the bus driver doesn't really have time to discuss it with you when he's picking up/dropping them off.

But can you call the school office and explain you'd really like to get to the bottom of it, you want to work with them to come up with a solution?

I guess that's where I would start. I'd want the whole story first.

Good Luck!

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You've recieved several very good suggestions here. I am sure your school district must have a procedure to follow for this kind of problem. Call your school and find out what this is. It's important that if we want to keep bus service as a privilege, (it's not required by law for school districts to provide bus service) we need to make sure we full support the drivers, as you are attempting to do. My grandson's school in northern Ohio has cut service for high school, due to financial circumstances.
Adding the the fact that your child is bullied and stolen from at school as an afterthought seems strange to me. I think you need to be more proactive about this problem, as well as the bad behavior on the bus. Remember, as adults, we are all on the same team, (parents, teachers, all school personnel, administrators, ) in raising our children in a positive environment with boundaries where all can thrive.

I would write a note to the bus driver stating you want to get this under control. Leave your cell number & ask that they call you when they can talk so that you can understand exactly what it is both boys are doing. This is where you can also discuss the other options previous posters have mentioned about moving them or seperating them..... I would then explain to te kids that the bus driver will be texting a daily report about their behavior & that will determine their after school activities......bad report, no extracurricular activities, no fun, possibly homework like writing 100 times, "I will not misbehave on the bus again since it is disrespectful to the bus driver and dangerous for all involved." once the boys reallize that their current behavior is not going to be acceptable any longer and there on consequences, then I'm sure you will be getting different reports. I remember riding the bus and the driver is probably being vague because he is busy driving the bus & is not able to watch each individual child. truth be told, kids are being disruptive and your two are involved or the center and that is based more on when the disruption starts each day after picking up your two, then you kindda know that they are the stimulant, so doesn't really matter what they specifically are doing. It is very dangerous for the driver to have to try & discipline on the bus and yet too costly to have an additional adult supervise....Maybe threaten boys that you will start riding the bus with them, to monitor their behavior....that could be embarassing for them...or have them verbal apologize to the bus driver , but if your son is already being bullied, that could increase.. But to just threaten that might scare him enough to tow the line and behave. Best of luck...

Does the bus have an on camera recording system? I was a bus driver for awhile and we had a cctv system on our buses for our protection as well as for the students. ask the transportation boss to view the video to see what is going on how the driver is handling the situations. have him assigned to the front of the bus for the rest of the year away from the other student you watch. keep them away from each other on the bus. You need to be proactive on getting a handle on the situation. gl

The principal is the one to talk to. If there is truly bad behavior, in our district, the bus driver has to report to the school. Our buses have video cameras so the principal should be able to see exactly what's happening. The kids should be getting disciplined in school before they get suspended from the bus and you should absolutely be part of this discipline before it gets so bad that they are suspended. That's a last resort! I hope it works out!

I lost my vision after the stealing and bullying thing-but I'm back now. Call the school and get it stopped today-a child being picked on and abused will often create a situation somewhere else where he can be the tough guy that is in charge-in this case, the bus. I don't know why the goofball bus driver doesn't separate them-but that's a whole other topic. If watching the naughty child is helping you put aside the money for a second car so that you can drive to school and scream at those inept kooks running a school that facilitates bullying and stealing-I'm all for it-otherwise-stop having that brat at your house-and make sure his parents and he know why you will no longer be available to babysit.

do they sit together on the bus? If they can't behave while sitting near each other why not just ask the bus driver to separate them and see if that helps. What exactly are they doing on the bus? The bus driver should be able to tell you what is going on in the afternoon when he drops them off ours does if there is an issue and if there is a problem with 2 kids she will separate them. If your bus drive cannot spare a minute or 2 tell you the exact problem why not give give your number and ask him to call to go over the problem in detail when he gets back to the bus station.
edited: It should not take that long to say "Joe was jumping on the bus please talk to him" or "Joe and John were fighting please talk to them" then the driver can call with the specifics. I know he can't sit there for 10 minutes and talk to you but it does not take more then a few second to say what the problem was.