What to Do About Pacifiers

Updated on December 11, 2007
C.M. asks from Madison, WI
20 answers

Hello everyone,

Of those of you who have kids who do or have used pacifiers what do you recommend to help them cut back/stop? We have a wonderful 2 1/2 year old daughter. She has used a pacifier since she was very young. For the past half year we have had her use it only during nap time and bed time. She was doing this 2X/week when she was at day care so we decided to do this at home. A few weeks back she began to ask for her "binky" more often. My husband thought that it was fine to let her have it whenever she wants. Now she seems to be obsessed with it, wants it almost all the time. In my opinion it interferes with conversation (she is very verbal) and hinders relationships.

Do you think it is okay to have kids use a binky whenever they want or does it work better to limit it?

Thanks so much!

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T.T.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I would have to say try to limit the use of it to just nap/bedtime. It's harder said than done, but otherwise she won't give it up anytime soon. I was wondering, maybe tell her she has to "buy" a special toy with her binky? Or tell her that there's another baby that needs it and have her "giftwrap" it in a special box? Or just like the tooth fairy...can't there be a binky fairy? If she gives it up then she gets something special that only "big" girls get?? Just a suggestion. Good Luck!

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L.L.

answers from Great Falls on

My daughter was very binky dependent. It got to the point where she had chewed through all but one. Then one evening we couldn't find it. It wasn't easy going to bed without it that night, but after the one night, it wasn't too bad. After a couple of days(2 or 3), she was just fine without it. Even though I found it the next day, it remained "lost" and it worked out fine. She still needed her blanket though. Good Luck.

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T.W.

answers from Lansing on

Cutting back is the first thing to do. I started to cut my kids down to only in their bed @ about 9 months old. When I would get them out of the crib I would take it out of thier mouth and say "bye-bye paci", soon they would even spit it out as soon as I came to the crib to pick them up.

If they were sad and wanted it during the day they had to lay in their crib, well that was no fun, so they didn't do that often!

As soon as they were 2 we had the "Paci Fairy" come and take all thier pacis that were under thier pillow and leave a special toy.

This worked wonderful, and we had no problems!

GL!

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M.B.

answers from Detroit on

C.,
I can sympathize with your situation. My daughter has always used a binky and at the age of 4 1/2 she got her first loose tooth. I was worried that it was due to the strong sucking on the binky. We did start first by limiting her binky time to only nap and bed time. Then as she adapted to that I started talking about how it was almost time for binky to go home and he with his family. ( sounds silly - i know). I told her that when she was ready to let binky go home and be with his mommy that in return binkies mom would leave her a gift to say thank you. So one day I asked her if she was ready to let him go home and she said yes. We put binky in its case and put him on the front door step and about 5 minutes later binky was gone and she found a gift bag in his place with a thank you note from binkies mom!

The first night even though she loved the gift she still asked for binky but I remained strong and stuck with the story and eventually she fell asleep binky free and we never looked back. The next day I threw them all out so that I would not be tempted to give in. I have also heard of people talking about the binky fairy - same concept just a different way of telling the story (more like the tooth fairy).

I wish you luck. I must say though that my daughter is autistic and this worked great. The binky was her greatest comfort item.

M.

After reading other postings I wanted to add that while use of a binky all the time can hinder speech development my pediatric dentist did tell me that they are not concerned with binky use until a child looses there two top and bottom front teeth and then she said absolutely no more binky because it will affect the way the permanent teeth come in. Then you will have a whole new set of problems.

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J.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have a 2 1/2 year old that absolutely loved his "binky", he would have used it all day if I would have let him as well. I think a binky is fine to a point but when they are needing to start talking I definitely think it could interfere and I would limit the use of the binky. With my son it got to the point that I was kind of sick of seeing all his pictures I'd take with his binky in his mouth and I thought it was really time to get rid of it so he'd talk more. We tried the "cold turkey" approach and it didn't work it was very stressful and he would just cry all the time. We found it was more us than him having issues with the binky for the most part because we found ourselves giving it to him all the time as habit and to soothe him rather than hearing him cry. We just kept limiting his binky, I would not let him have it unless it was nap or bed time because that was when he really needed it and if he was playing during the day it was easy to get him occupied on something else. I would try every night and nap time to get him to go down without it and after quite awhile of trying if he wouldn't settle down I would give it to him. Then eventually one night he didn't ask for it and so I never gave it to him and believe it or not he never really asked again this was about four months ago and he does great without it now. Just remember to always hide the binky when you can so she can't see it then hopefully she'll help wean herself off of it. I know it's not much but I hope it helps.

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S.F.

answers from Waterloo on

At 2 and 1/2 I don't think any kid should still be using a pacifier. My Dr. told us to take it away at 3 months old. After 3 months it is no longer a need to suck, but begins to be a learned habbit. He told us to take it away cold turkey. You might have a hard couple of days, even a week, but a 2 and 1/2 year old sucking on a binkie is bad for their teeth as well as their speach. Not to be mean, but I think by letting her have it you are not helping her at all. My dr. would always say, look in the mirror and tell yourself..."YOU are the boss" Good Luck!

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L.F.

answers from Missoula on

Hey C.,
My daughter was also strongly attached to her binky. We had all but gotten rid of it and then went on a plane trip to a funeral and she stole her little brothers binky on the plane and I wasn't about to get rid of it then!! Finally when she turned three we took it to the toy store ( I clued in the store clerk) and she got to pick out a toy and 'pay' for it with her binky. She still asked for it but it wasn't such a big deal then. When I look back I wonder why I waited so long! Needless to say I got rid of my son's when he turned one.
Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Jackson on

My now 7yr old had one, and simply put we "lost" it. Like everyone else pointed out it will only be hard for a small time! Good Luck!

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C.L.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi C.,

My middle daughter who is now seven was 3 1/2 before we finally got her to give her quack quack up. (there is a funny story about why she started calling her pacifier a quack quack) Anyway, I did just what you started to do which was only letting her have it at bed and nap time. She wasn't allowed to have it in public or just walking around the house. We lived in California at the time so we made a deal with her. We told her when she threw her quack quack away we would take her to Disneyland. She finally decided she wanted to go to Disneyland and she threw it in the trash. We had a rough couple of days after she threw it away, but we just kept telling her she didn't need it anymore because she was a big girl and we were going to go to Disneyland. I felt it was important to encourage her to do it on her own rather than me just taking it from her. I think that worked really well. I think it was harder on me when she gave it up than it was on her because that was another step closer to her growing up. I hope this helps. Good luck.

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K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I did what you started to do - limit it to naps and bedtime. Our son seemed to be using it more and more and, same as your child, tried talking with it and we couldn't understand him, plus I was tired of the "Where's the binky? Do we have a clean one?" etc. So we limited it to naps and bedtime, then just bedtime and then we just told him that he didn't need it anymore. He cried for about 3 nights and that was it. He was about 2 1/2 at the time.

I had another friend who slowly cut a bit of the tip off each day until there was basically nothing left and he gave it back to her. (However, I've since read that that can be a choking hazard.)

Another friend gathered them all up and had her daughter pick out a new toy and she had to use her pacifiers to "pay" for it and they gave them to the clerk at the store.

I also read about the Binky Fairy where you put the binkies in the window for the fairy to take to the new babies who need them and in the morning, the Fairy leaves a present in return for the binkies.

Good luck in whatever you do. Believe me, it's a lot easier to break a pacifier habit than a thumb-sucking habit (we're still working on that with our daughter!).

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M.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I personally don't think it is healthy for a child to use a pacifier past the age of one. I think it should only be used in the first year to comfort and to aid during teething. I've also heard that it is not good for children to use pacifiers once most of their teeth have come in because it may push their teeth out of alignment and cause dental problems.
I have a friend whose two and a half year old son was also obsessed with his "binky". She finally got him off of it by telling him that pacifiers were only for babies and he was her big boy now. Once a week she would show him one of his pacifiers and tell him that it was time to say good bye to it, and that she was going to send it to a new baby that really needs a "binky". This worked great for him. He liked that he was going to make other babies happy.
He has two older siblings and his mom is great about teaching them to share, so I think he felt he was sharing his pacifier.
As for my daughter, right before she turned one we started only giving her a pacifier at naps and at night, and within a couple months she was weened completely off. She didn't always give up her pacifier willingly, tears, screaming, pouting, but we stuck with it and it paid off.
Let me know if any of this works for you. Good Luck!

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J.M.

answers from St. Cloud on

I think this is a controversal issue, but I think it is much harder on the parent to be rid of the pacifier. Good Luck. My older two children would not take one, and my youngest one, I did not give it to him. I wish you the best. J.

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J.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would go back to limited use and the after a couple months get rid of it. We gradually threw out all of my daughters pacifiers until there was only one left. I realised she was biting through it, so I showed her it was broken and that we needed to throw it away. I let her put it in the garbage and say good bye. She cried a little that night in bed, but after that she was fine.

My cousin used hers until she was starting school and had problems with her teeth and speech. I think using it during the day after they are talking really hinders there speech. Doctors say get rid of it after one, but like I said before, as of 1 1/2, I just let my daughter use it at naps and bedtime. She was rid of it before she was 2 1/2 because I did not want the problems getting rid of it that my aunt had.

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A.G.

answers from Lincoln on

When we weaned my daughter she was sick with a sinus infection and we just had to let her cry herself to sleep. She would cry for about 30-40 minutes the first 2 nights and then every day after that it got shorter and shorter. Now she has no problems going to sleep. My biggest recommendation would be when you take it away from her make sure you don't give in to her screaming for it. We threw ours away so we weren't tempted to give them to her. It really only takes a few days to get them used to not having it.

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S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

C.,
What we did to get rid of my daughters is I cut off the rubber end and she quickly realized that it was not good to suck on anymore. It took a few days of her mooping around and then she was done. That would be my recomendation- I am prego again and I will use the same strategy with this one as well.

S.

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K.D.

answers from Davenport on

Remember, this is just my opinion and everybody has one! lol

I'm a licensed daycare provider and every child I have had here we (the parents and I) have cut the binky at 1 year of age. We literally cut the tip off of the binky and that way there was no "suction" and we did this for about a week or two and then the children seemed to start to lose interest as much. Then, we just threw them out after about 2 weeks with the tips cut off. Yes, there was crying. Yes, there were tantrums. We all survived! The reason we did it at a year is that most kids have several teeth in by then and pacifiers can cause buck teeth and speech impediments, not to mention that if a child is relying on a binky or blankie or whatever it is all the time, they have a hard time developing coping skills to be able to handle emotions on their own without an object to help them. Again, just my opinion, but then again neither of my own kids every used a binky. This is just what worked for us. The most important thing I can suggest is once you cut the binky, cut it and dont go back. If you give in even once you can forget it... consistancy is the key! Good luck! K. :)

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

DO NOT cut the rubber end off, it is a major Choking hazard!

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A.B.

answers from Des Moines on

Using a binkie for too long can be harmful to teeth. To get my daughter to stop using hers, we limited it like you had done with only nap/bedtime, then I made her watch me throw them all away and said "No more binkie, you're a big girl." We never had a problem after that. I think having her watch me throw it away in the "yucky" trash helped. Also, you can time it to getting her a "big girl" bed or panties or something of that nature. Hope this helps.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I really didn't so anything to break my son of his binky, of course he is the only one of mine who would have anything to do with one and then he didn't start untill he was a year old (found it in his toy box). What I would do though was, if he wa talking I would remove it from his mouth and let him know that when he was done he could put it back, after a few tries he would just take it out on his own, Lets say we forgot it at home I wouldn't go back and get it he would have to remember to get it by himself, I made him responsible for it,if it was forgotten at a friends house I would make him wait an hour or two before giving him the spare, eventually he just quit using it on his own, and I didn't have to feel like I was taking his best friend away, for the little ones it is no different then a blankie or a favorite stuffed animal, I took small steps to help in limiting it slightly but I see no harm in one and neither did his dentist, I don't see how it will hinder her relationships, it is just a binkie, my son is very outgoing and has no language or speech problems because of it and he didn't get rid of it completely untill the age of 4 although he had limited it himself to just bed time.

B.A.

answers from Saginaw on

I did the same thing as the previous poster. I cut the end. My 18 month old said, it was broken. She threw it in the trash. She asked for it for a couple days. We reminded her it was broken. And she was fine.

My sister's daughter who is 2 1/2 threw it away on her own one day. Later she regretted, but my sister said its too late its gone. She asked for it for a couple days, but is now fine also!

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