What to Do About a 6 Year Old Who Still Needs Pull-ups at Night?

Updated on August 07, 2008
A.P. asks from Soldotna, AK
40 answers

Our almost 6.5 year old son still needs to wear Pull-ups to bed at night! I have heard that it shouldn't be considered 'bed wetting' until the age of 6 so we've been patient because he's such a heavy sleeper, but he's still peeing each night. Here's what we're doing now: 1) limiting liquids in the evening 2) making him use the potty several times before bed 3) getting him up to take him potty around midnight. He is dry at midnight when we take him to the bathroom, he uses the toilet, but then still wakes up with a wet Pull-up at 7am, often saturated enough to leak onto bedding. He is a VERY SOUND sleeper like his Dad! He never remembers us taking him to the potty during the night or even walking there and back. He has a rash on his bum from sleeping in a wet Pull-up and we're tired of buying them! (I used cloth diapers for both kids for 5.5 years; I'm done going that route.) Also, he has no problems during the day and uses the bathroom by himself whenever needed; he isn't a "waiter". What have other families done to kindly train bed-wetters?

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for all the ideas and encouragement. We already use a great chiropractor for our kids, but I never thought to ask him about bedwetting! Terrific recommendation; that will be my first move, with purchasing a bedwetting alarm my second. Third, would be waking up during the night to take my son potty but as I tend toward insomnia after being woken it has to be a necessity! Also just to clarify--we have never made our son feel bad about wetting, if that takes a load off the minds of any mamas who encouraged me to be patient. We'll continue to keep it a non-issue with him and hope his little bladder grows as fast as the rest of him seems to!

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L.P.

answers from Seattle on

We had the same problem. Finally we used the pee alarm. It took about 2 months, but now he has dry nights! At first he slept through the alarm, amazing! It woke everyone else in the house up. Now he is sooo... proud of himself.

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

My little boy who is almost 7 still uses pull ups as well. His Dad wet the bed as well and his two older half brothers on his fathers side did until they were about 8 or so. I use the good nite shorts and we don't make a big deal out of it, he has a matress protector on his bed. My son wakes up dry and pees while sitting on his bed before actually getting up. It didn't matter if I woke him up or not. The pull ups save my frustration at washing bedding and clothing daily and he feels better because he knows no one is mad or teasing about it. Medically there is nothing wrong with him. I wish you good luck.

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D.B.

answers from Bellingham on

Don't worry about it. You are doing everything right. My 6.5 yo son does the same thing. Personally, I would not wake him up at midnight. He may be peeing just before he wakes up and the pee actually wakes him up. You may want to wake him up 30 minutes before he normally wakes up to try and get him to pee.

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

I've worked in a chiropractic office for 13 years, and have personally seen at least five kids come in for bedwetting and stop completely after a few weeks, sometimes after the first visit!

If you're not familiar with chiropractic, this works because the spine can get "subluxated" or misaligned, causing pressure on nerves, which control every function in the body. There are nerves along the spine that directly correlate to the urinary tract and genital area.

It doesn't hurt, all kids I know including mine love being adjusted! Find someone who's comfortable working with kids, and good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

My husband wet his bed when he was 12 then stopped but still gets up a few times at night to go. i would make tis a non issue because if you do it may upset your son. h probably already feels bad about it.

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A.G.

answers from Eugene on

I understand what you are going through. Unfortunately he feels pain about it also. Never comfortable going to a friend or relative's sleepover, afraid to travel over night, anxiety, self disappointment...
Make it no big deal. I faught with this problem with my son for years. He is 13 now and this ended within the last year. You heard me...years!

OK, that aside, he had no medical issues, no mental issues, no bladder deformities. He just slept HARD.

Try:
Wake him at 2-4am instead of midnight (this was the biggest help for us).
Also try waking him a little early...7 every morning or something. Don't let him sleep til he wants. Schedule is key.
No food either after certain times at night. You can toy with that time until you find something that works for everyone.
You may consider cutting back on or removing dairy (or lactose) from his diet. It can cause problems that are not detectable in any other form.
Have him help with any cleanup. Make sure that you do not cause embarrassment at all. But he should feel a sense of responsibility. Please, please try not to be frustrated, even when you try to act like you are not, they see it. It really does make it worse. Realize that he is likely more annoyed by it than you are, but can not express it.
It will be ok. One day. I am sorry you are going through this, but there WILL be an end to the accidents.
I could ramble on...

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D.H.

answers from Bellingham on

We delt with the same with our son and buying all those pull-ups gets really old. Our son would be dry all through the night and right before he got up is when it would happen. Almost like he couldn't wake-up enough to realize that he was full and had to take his morning pee, like most of us have to do. Although I feel it's something that has to mature inside, I was told by one of the grocery checkers at our local store that she took her child to the chiropractor for an adjustment to correct the same problem. I looked further into it and found that there can be some unalignment problems that can cause those triggers not to work. I've heard only 1 to 3 sessions would do the trick. We were really close to taking in our son to be adjusted and then he just kinda stopped wetting in his pull-up. I know how frustrating it can be, but this too will pass, but WHEN is the big question! Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Portland on

Hi!
This may sound silly, but when I was potty training my daughter, she was still having wet pull ups at night. Then I tried a little experiment and I just put underwear on her at night, and no joke she quit peeing the bed. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes just having that security that they can pee their pants and taking it away keeps them from doing it. I don't know if that's the case with yours, but you may just want to try it. :)

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A.Z.

answers from Portland on

There could be a physiological reason for this as you mentioned such as sleeping too deep. Or perhaps his bladder isn't finished developing yet.

Cloth training pants help your child feel the wetness and will help with the rash issues too since he won't have chemicals releasing against his skin all night when he pees.

A few tips that have helped other parents:

1. Talk to him. Try to get him to think about his dreams when he first wakes up. Did he dream about going to the bathroom? Many children do this and don't realize it's a dream and not reality. Have him look around the bathroom and see if it is his. If it's not, then he knows he is dreaming and needs to wake up.

2. Use a mattress pad. This will help with daily clean ups and prevent his mattress from getting ruined.

3. Extra trips to the bathroom during the times when he pees. If you wake him up and he is dry, you know he is still holding his pee for that time frame. So once you start figureing out about when he pees, you can start scheduling your night visits a half hour before. Consistency may help him wake up on his own to go pee as he gets older.

4. Cloth training pants. I know you said you are done with diapering, but cloth training pants can be washed with your regular laundry if you do laundry everyday. No extra work!

If none of these work, a visit to his pediatrician wouldn't hurt. Also consider any stresses that may be happening in the home. Anyone change jobs, any deaths in the family, vacations, new children, etc.

Good Luck!

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L.M.

answers from Seattle on

Hi,
My oldest daughter is 5.5 and she is a bed wetter.. so I feel your pain we have had no luck but in talking to the doctor if it is still a problem around 7.5 we can take more steps. Such as an alarm for bed wetting or medicines. By any chance was your husband a bed wettter when he was a child? My husband was a bed wetter and it is herditary.. when he was a child what finally cured him around age 8 was the bed alarm. So for now we are limiting liquids before bed. Also we use the Good Nite Pulls and they are the best and only leak maybe once a month or less. We buy them at target cheapest place I have found them.
Good luck,
Lenc
mom of 2 girls

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F.G.

answers from Medford on

There is a great store called the bedwetting store. They have alarms that will wake child when they start to pee and pads for beds as well as watches that you can set to go off at certain times to wake the child. Check them out at www.bedwettingstore.com. Hope this helps. We have used some of their products with success.

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B.M.

answers from Seattle on

A.-

My little brother had the same problem and after years of dealing with it, the ped. finally did an ultrasound of his bladder to find that it had a "fold" that would hold extra urine until it relaxed enough at night to release.

If you haven't yet, you may want to talk to his pediatrician about the problem.

Good luck!
-B. M.-

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

This is a sensitive subject for me, but also it's because I was tormented as a child in this department. I wet the bed until I was 13. Back when I was a child my parents didn't know that it was because either I had a small bladder or the fact that I was a heavy sleeper. My suggestion is please be patient with your son. I know it's a pain in the butt litterally to change the sheets and such. Let him know you still love him even though he is having his "accidents".

You could try to have him change his own sheets - make it accessible for him. Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

My son needed a pullup at night until 7 or 8. He was daytime potty trained by 20 months, so it was very frustrating. I think what actually worked for us, besides age, was not only limiting liquids, but also sugar from about 5pm on. His doctor said that sugar undilutes urine, so there is more of it causing it not to be held as easily. I also bought him a plastic sheet, and then stopped putting him in pullups. It was a pain for me with all of the extra laundry, but it got him waking up at night because he was wet, and I think that made him more aware subconsciencely. However, I kept him in pullups until him staying dry through the night happened more often than not. I tried bribes, but it didn't really work because it wasn't something that he really had control over.

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C.D.

answers from Portland on

My son is going to be 11 at the end of the year and he still wears pull-ups at night. He is fine during the day, but he too is a very, very heavy sleeper. I took him to the doctor a year or so ago and she said that they can give him a medication to stop, but the list of possible side effects was a little too much for me to get my head around. She said that bed wetting tends to last longer in boys and it is heriditary. I have heard of boys wetting the bed until they are around 12 or so, so I am not too concerned about it yet. It is a pain to always buy them, but from my experience, if you don't then his bed and clothes will get ruined and too me that is more of a costly expense in the long run. Hope this helps. :) C.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Bed wetting at this age is more common than we might think. All 3 of my brothers wet the bed until sometime around age 7.

To prevent the rash, apply a cream to his bottom before going to bed.

I wonder if not using the pull ups might help tho it will be a mess. It's possible that he isn't aware that he's wetting because the pull ups keep the urine warm. It's a hassle to wash bedding but if he helps you it might provide him with an incentive to consciously work on getting up during the night. It's possible that his body isn't mature enough to hold the urine over night.

I've bought water proof pads at Goodwill for $2-3. You could also buy used sheets so that you wouldn't have to wash every day. Or put the water proof pad on top of the sheet. If he wears shorts the urine might be contained just on the pad.

I think it would help if he had no liquids after dinner time, around 5 or 6 PM.

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

My now 9 year old grandson had the same issue - and he grew out of it - he was completely dry at night shortly after turning 7 --. His maternal grandmother, his mom and his dad - all were very late to be dry at night --- we never used other methods than you are using - it is a bummer -- but when kids sleep that soundly- it just is an issue. I understand there is a device from Sears that fits under his sheet - that will wake him when he starts to pee--- it's been aruond for 40 years or more - and worked for my grandsons uncle - 30 years ago --

Blessings, J.

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

A friend had one of those alarms you put in their diaper and loaned it to me. Her daughter was 7 when she got it and it worked great. My kids were 5 and 6 and it worked within a week on both of them. It wakes you up too so you can get them up so it's a bit of work for you too but it's well worth it. I passed it on to another friend and it worked on her child too. They are GREAT!!!

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K.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.,
We have one child (daughter who will be 12 next month) that STILL occasionally wets the bed. Maybe only twice a year, but it is frustrating. I do recall with her having to train her using all of your methods, PLUS one extra potty trip in the morning about 4am. It was tiring for a while, but it worked! I have used this early morning potty trip with my young boys as well and it works well.
Good luck to you!
~ K.

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M.J.

answers from Spokane on

There is a medication that will make a difference in your sons betwetting. It's DDAVP. It reduces the output significantly. We used this for my son and took away his pull ups. He wet a little but not enough to soil his bedding but rather a little spot in front.

Be prepared for this long term. My son is 12 and JUST stopped wetting at night.

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K.L.

answers from Seattle on

My son has the same situation going on. He is 7 and I talked to his doctor who told me that this normal and most boys do this untill about the age of 8 or 9 sometimes even ten. I know that is uncomfortable for everyone involed but as parents we do what we need to. So just hang in there and it will stop. Good luck.

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T.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.. I agree with the other moms who say you shouldn't be too worried about it. My older son will be 7 in December and only recently (about a month ago) just decided that he no longer needed the pull ups. I was a little leery at first (because I didn't want to be washing sheets), but he's been dry ever since. My 5 year old boy is still wearing pull ups to bed, and I'm not worried about him either. He'll know when he's ready. I've been told that boys take a little longer to gain bladder control. Also, the doctor told me that sometimes it's hereditary if one of the parents' were bed wetters. In our case, I'm the guilty party. So don't worry, it's more normal than you think. Just be grateful for pull ups.

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A.P.

answers from Seattle on

7 years ago, I asked my pediatrician what to do because my 6-yr-old daughter still needed pull-ups at night. Her response was "My 7-yr-old still needs pull-ups at night. Don't worry about it."
She went on to explain that some children sleep very soundly and their brains have not matured to the point to wake them up when they need to pee. She said children grow out of it and that's exactly what happened.
She stopped needing pull-ups at night shortly after her 7th birthday.
Certainly, avoid giving water and other drinks close to bed time, but stop worrying about it and look for bigger fish to fry.

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T.M.

answers from Portland on

WOW! I have experienced the same situation. Have you asked his doctor about it. I have an 8yr old son who still wets the bed. Like your son, he is a VERY SOUND sleeper. I too have tried the alarms, taken him to the bathroom in the middle of the night (he doesn’t remember it the next morning)I got so frustrated I tried everything! At first I thought it was him just being lazy, then I thought it might have been an emotional problem I went through every possibility trying to correct it. I finally took him to his doctor and they said it is not that uncommon, my son’s bladder just has not matured enough. There unfortunately is not a lot that can be done in that case. It is just something is body has to mature on and will eventually grow out of. We still cut the liquids and make sure he goes before bed, it has gotten better but there are still more nights that he wets than I would like. The doctor did prescribe a steroid that he can take that helps it. Do not get me wrong I am not pumping my kid full of drugs and steroids, he only takes then if he is going to a sleepover at a friend’s or something like that. He does not wet the bed when he takes them. It helps him feel more comfortable not having to wear a pull up or in his mind a diaper and it keeps him from being embarrassed in front of his friends. I hope thing go better for you.

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M.H.

answers from Seattle on

I just went to the doctor about this for my girls, ages 6 and 8 (almost 9). He said 1 in 10 6 year olds still wet the bed. And until they're 8 they don't recommend doing anything.

But for our oldest, who is embarresed and won't go on sleep overs, she is ready for the alarm. We got the name of some from my doctor and are going to try that, since they are 70% effective. If you'd like more info on that let me know.

Also, I wet the bed until 6, my dad was 12 and brothers were 8 and 12. It's very hereditary and very common. I know it's a bummer changing sheets but don't be discouraged.

Hope this helps.

-M

PS We have tried the no drinks after dinner but when your kids are hard sleepers it really doesn't make a difference. But the waking up at night saves me from changing sheets on a daily basis.

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C.T.

answers from Seattle on

Hi there. I don't have direct experience but a friend of mine does. She has 4 children ages 4 to 10 and all of them (including the 10 year old) wear pull-ups to bed. Same situation. Totally dry during the day but are all really heavy sleepers. I don't have any advice to help I just wanted you to know you were not alone. God bless you and your family.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Well first of all I'd say keep buying those pull-ups and thank the Lord they're available! I'm also a home school mom to two girls 10 & 12. Our 10 year old was dry through the night when she was 2 yrs. old...but the older daughter was still wetting the bed (or her pull-ups!) until she was 10 years old!!! Exasperating I know but you seem to have the the heart of not wanting to bring shame on your son so what we decided to do was just let it go! (We'd tried the goal setting, the bribes (at first! :) )and then when I talked to the pediatrician he/she said that some kids bladders develop differently and to not be concerned by it. Dr. said to do the same thing you're already doing...limit fluids at night, take them to the bathroom b4 you go to bed and in the middle of the night if you choose to...but none of that worked! Then one night BOOM! she was dry for a night...three nights...had a wet pull-up and then was dry for several more days and it simply improved until there were WEEKS she was dry with an occasional accident and now it's been over a year with no problems! So, hang in there! He (& you) will be A-OK with all the love you're pouring on him...he probably can't help it-our daughter was a DEEP sleeper too! I'll be praying for you too! M.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi A.! I am thinking that maybe you should do away with the pull-up at night. He is probably too comfortable with peeing in a pull-up...it doesn't wake him up. But if he were to pee in his bed and lay in it, he will probably wake up. This may get him to start waking up at the urge to pee, and get up to go. You may have to wash sheets everyday for awhile, but hopefully it pays off! Good luck to you!

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T.C.

answers from Portland on

A.,

I would not worry over much. Many children have systems that develop slower...my sister wet until age 10. Our dad wet until around then also.

If you are concerned, maybe a chat with the doctor will help. double checking to make sure you are doing what you can is always a comfort.

good luck,
T.

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

I don't use pull-ups because the child can't feel wet. However, before I go to bed (around 11:00 pm) I get my daughter up and put her on the potty, because she still has accidents (she's 7). There are also alarms you can get that wake the child before they will wet that you can probably get from teh pediatrician.

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T.U.

answers from Seattle on

Hi!
I wish we'd had pull-ups when my oldest son was young! He was a bed-wetter until about 12. We would get him up several times a night, we bought alarms, you name it we did it. Finally we just put a plastic cover on the mattress to protect it and had him take off the wet bedding in the morning, place them in the washer, and never said a word about it. He was never made to feel bad about his problem and he out grew it at around 12 years of age.

Both my father & I were bed-wetters until about 12. The Dr. told me it was a weak bladder and heavy sleeping that was the problem and not to worry about it.

Be patient, it does get better!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

You are not alone! We have a nine and six year old with the same issues. I have been told it is hereditary and to wait it out along with the things you are already doing. I have been offered medication that would "shut down the kidneys at night". I am not going that route! I also used cloth and now have spent more years buying Goodnights than I ever did washing cloth. If you find out anything else I would love to know!

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B.G.

answers from Portland on

My brother used pull-ups at least that long, and then my mom discovered that if he wore boxers that the problem nearly went away overnight. Good luck!

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J.O.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi A.!
I feel like we are still working on night-time bed wetting occasionally and my son turned 7 in May! With younger siblings, he definitely had issues with wearing Pull-ups and would cry at the thought of us "forcing" him to wear one, but I got SO tired of changing sheets and bedding. He also has sensitive skin and the Pull-ups gave him a rash too.
He was completely potty trained by the time he was 3 (overnight included) and it wasn't until he was around 4 that he started having night accidents. What has worked the best for us over the past few years has been trying to limit liquids close to bedtime, using a plastic coated matress cover and a crib pad to help protect some of the bedding from needing to be washed daily, and waking him to take him potty within the first hour or so of him falling asleep. He too is a very heavy sleeper and he will often not remember wetting the bed the night before if he's had an accident...even with all of his sheets and comforter on the floor and new pajamas on. We've found, for him anyway, that the first hour or so is his deepest sleep and the time he would most likely have the accident. If we catch him before it happens he is usually good to go the rest of the night. Sometimes that's easier said than done...it's hard to have the energy to want to struggle to get him to wake up enough to go to the bathroom and I often have to balance him up at the toilet so he doesn't fall over (or in!). It's also awkward when he spends the night at family or friends' houses...we just quietly remind/suggest they wake him up to go potty before they go to bed.
He has been doing better lately- many nights I haven't even been taking him, so I'm hoping he's finally outgrowing this phase. I sometimes tease him about having to come to take him potty when he's off at college, or his wife having to take him after he gets married. He's pretty sensitive about it, so we just have to remember that this is not something that he's doing on purpose, nor does he have any desire to continue. I think he hates it more than I do! It sounds like you are doing the right things (or what I'm guessing are the "right" things!), and it will just be a matter of time, consistency, and patience until your son outgrows this. Best of luck to you!
J.

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B.S.

answers from Portland on

Hi There. This might sound a little strange, but I have heard this from a few parents now, so I'm wondering if there might be a little truth to this....

A few moms have told me that wheat/gluten can affect a child's continence. They reported that when they eliminated wheat/gluten from the child's diet, that the child was able to go through the night dry. When the child would have wheat that day, they would wet that night. I know it's overwhelming to think about eliminating wheat/gluten from a child's diet, but if it helps, then there is probably a slight allergy there and it would be good to eliminate that from the child's diet anyway.

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J.L.

answers from Medford on

Hello,
You have the exacty same problem we had with our son. He wore pullups to bed until he was 7. We did all the same things that you are doing. The only difference is that we got him up to go to the bathroom twice a night. He was such a heavy sleeper that sometimes he'd be standing in front of the toilet and we'd be holding him up because he'd still be so asleep.
I don't know for sure what made him stop. He just finally did. I think the main thing that played a big role in him stopping, was his embarassment of it. He didn't like that he couldn't control it. He really didn't like that when he stayed over at a friend's house he had to wear a pullup and his friend didn't. I think what it really took was him hating it so much, that he finally made a concious decision to get up at night.
I wouldn't worry to much. Just encourage him and praise him when he's dry. Keep doing what you're doing. It worked for us. Our son is now 10 and hasn't wet the bed once since he was 7. You're son will get there too. Best of Luck! P.S. I read the other responces and it being hereditary may just play a role in this. I know that my husband wet the bed until he was 12. I don't know if you or your husband had a bed wetting problem but, it just might be hereditary.

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D.F.

answers from Spokane on

Hello A.! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for writing in about this question! Oh how I feel your pain. My son is 6 as well and is still wearing pull-ups at night. I have also taken him to the toilet at night (even more than once) and he doesn’t remember a thing. I just finished reading all your other responses and must say that I have tried to say good bye to the pull-ups and ended up doing laundry every single day for a week and longer!!! To tell you the truth, I'd rather pay for pull-ups. I have tried putting underpants on him under the pull-ups and it just made a bigger mess. We've done goal setting....so many dry nights in a row and get a prize. It was discouraging for both of us. My husband and I were not bed wetters, and the nearest relative that had issues was cousins. I don't know if that counts as hereditary or not. My cousins did use the alarms, but one didn't stop until like 12 or so. I am just as discouraged as you and would prefer to stop buying them and disposing of them! My doctor was not much help as he said his 7 year old was still wearing them so don't worry about it. I'm just glad to hear that I'm not alone. I have to say that I'm tempted to try the chiropractor route as it was mentioned a few times...and what would it hurt? It is so hard to know when to be persistent medically or to simply be patient and wait it out. My concern is if I wait and be patient, what if I eventually discover that it was actually something medically wrong with him and I didn't do anything about it. Your post has helped me to realize that there are other options our there. Thanks again for writing in.  It helps so much to know I’m not alone! I hope you are encouraged as well.

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J.A.

answers from Seattle on

I read an article about this in Parenting a while back (which doesn't make me an expert, but I wanted to pass the word on to you). There's actually a physical condition that causes some older children to wet the bed. Their bladder doesn't grow with them and it takes time for it to catch up. Maybe you could talk with his doctor?

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My cousin was 12 before he finally developed the ability to wake up when he needed to pee. For some reason is some kids the body just doesn't mature in that way until later.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Our son started wetting the bed out of the blue a few months ago. We figured it was related to his 'obstructive sleep apnea', which meant his tonsils and adenoids were enormous, causing him to mouth breathe all the time, and not sleep deeply at night, yet deep enough to start wetting the bed...

I consulted our naturopath, and she said to give him some protein before bed, with no carbs. Something like chicken or turkey... She said that kids' glucose levels sometimes plummet at night, so their brains are running low on glucose and they sleep so heavy and can't wake up enough to go to the bathroom. The protein helps keep their glucose levels at an even keel. When I did remember to give him protein, it did seem to help. We had his tonsils and adenoids removed recently, though, as his breathing/snoring/ear infections were out of hand. At this point he is still wetting the bed, but is still recovering somewhat from the surgery 10 days ago. Hopefully he'll stop soon; he's nearly 6. My younger brother went through the same thing - totally potty trained at night until he started having constant ear infections around age 5 or 6, then he wet the bed for about 5 years... We're hoping to nip it with the surgery.

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