36 answers

What Should My Son Call My Cousin?

My husband and I are very close to my cousin and her husband. They have a daughter who is 4 months younger than my son. We got together over the holiday and I realized that my son doesn't have a "name" for my cousin.

In my husband's family (middle eastern) they call all elders (except parents) "Aunt" or "Uncle". Ironically in my cousin's husband's family (hispanic) it is the same. In my family, though, there is a huge emphasis on proper labeling. An aunt is an aunt, a great aunt is a great aunt and my mother even did copious amounts of research into great vs. grand. (No difference, by the way, in case you were wondering.)

I suppose that my son could call my cousin and her husband aunt and uncle, but I'm wondering how you all have dealt with this? I'm not so much worried about my family being upset or offended because they are always upset and offended by something (lol) and I really have very little to do with them anyways. The thing is that my cousin has sisters with whom she is very close and I have brothers and I don't want to diminish the importance of my brothers title or her sisters title by calling everyone by that.

I really dislike the notion of my son calling them "cousin" because there's no deference to the fact that my cousin is my son's elder. My mother would call her cousins "Cousin John", but I never called them anything because I hardly knew them at all and they never had children. Plus, I never called my cousin "cousin so and so", it was always first name.

So i am wondering how you all have solved these complicated issues? :-)

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

You can refer to them as my cousin Suzy or my Mom's cousin Jane but when talking to them directly we called cousins of a similar age by their first name but an elder cousin is called "Cousin Jane" or "Cousin Joe"
or you could just choose a title specially for her like "Tia" or "Prima" (aunt or cousin in Spanish)

1 mom found this helpful

Why not just use their first names? We have a cousin and her fiancée that are really close, and they are just "Sally" and "Bob". My kids still respect them the same as the rest of their elders. Sometimes, however, Aunt and Uncle come out of my mouth when referring to them.

1 mom found this helpful

My kids call my closest cousins to me Aunt J__ and Aunt H__. Other that that they use their fist names.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

My husband's best friend we call Uncle Wes, but our cousins get called by their first name.

1 mom found this helpful

I just have my daughter call my cousins Aunt and Uncle - she's only 3 and when she is older I figure I'll be able to explain the difference but for right now I want adults to be either Aunt and Uncle, or Mr. and Mrs., and not just first names only. We have some really good friends that have Aunt and Uncle status too. Think of it as a sign of respect to give them a title like that.

1 mom found this helpful

I have my DD call my cousins "Cousin First Name" and her direct cousins/kids her age just first name. It helps her with her venn diagram of a family. With our friends, they call them Mr. and Ms. (or Miss) First Name unless the preference is for Last Name (by the person).

1 mom found this helpful

call them according to their custom, if primos get offended, tell them, different strokes for different folks.

1 mom found this helpful

Why not just use their first names? We have a cousin and her fiancée that are really close, and they are just "Sally" and "Bob". My kids still respect them the same as the rest of their elders. Sometimes, however, Aunt and Uncle come out of my mouth when referring to them.

1 mom found this helpful

My kids call my cousins "aunt" and "uncle", that is the role they play is their life, so why not?

1 mom found this helpful

Is your cousin someone you want to be "aunt"-like to your child? If this is someone you want to be like an aunt/uncle to your kiddo then they are aunts if not then Mrs/Mr first or last name or you can just go first name ... btw what do their kids call you?

1 mom found this helpful

we're Italian and we call cousins by their first name.. (although the cousins are older) However, when it comes to aunts/unlces we use Zia and Zio... and for his grandma.. she is ALWAYS Nonna.. and granpa, is ALWAYS Nonno..
Now I will say, my FIL did refer to his cousin as cousin... or cugino.. and meant it in a VERY sincere and sweet way.. I think it might also depend on the generation.. I think it's rather cute when people use the word cousin. To me, it shows family unity ( I say that with no judgement on families) it's just that since my own biological is so messed up, whenever I hear another family say endearing things like cousin or nonna.. I think it's great..

1 mom found this helpful

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