December 05, 2012,
J.C. asks from Hebron, CT on October 02, 2008
What Should My Son Call My Boyfriend???
I have been with my boyfriend since my son was not even 3 months old. He is now 14 months, and is starting to fully talk. We are planning on being together for a long time, and am wondering what my son should call him? His biological father would have a fit if he called him "daddy", and I don't really want him to just be "Christopher" (his name). He is more special than that and has helped me so so so much to raise him even though TECHNICALLY he's not his son. Any suggestions?
K.S. answers from Boston on October 04, 2008
I really love the idea that I read another write ..Her step children called her "SMOM"(untill it caused issues :( I thought it was great though. "SDAD" sounds great to me!(like S-Dad) I also have a stepmother..She has been in my life since I was 9 and my siter 3...we always called her Charlotte..her name..even now..but when we do intros..we always say this is my "mom" Charlotte. Because, quite honestly..she deserves that title. So, let it be what it is! Good luck and happiness always!
R.B. answers from Boston on October 03, 2008
Maybe he could call him something like Papa. What does he call him now? Maybe he could be Daddy Chris. Somehow these things all work out. Good luck.
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N.R. answers from Boston on October 02, 2008
I would go with Dad Chris or something like that.
If you have a good relationship with his dad you may want to talk to him about it. He may have someone in his life....how would you feel about her being mom? My dad has a long time girlfriend and my kids call her grandma Donna. My mom wasn't thrilled but she got used to it.
D.M. answers from Springfield on October 03, 2008
Joshua Conner may come up with the name for Christopher that is just right for him. Be sure to listen very carefully for it. It may be his reflection of you saying "Christopher", yet it will be a sweet new version. Catch it when it is spoken and if it feels good to you, validate it and use all the time. if it doesn't sound right to you, wait until he speaks one that does feel good. This will be the name that sticks and will forever be the name that Joshua gave the man that has been there for his mom and himself.
While nursing my baby daughter, I heard her call my breast "BUBBLES". I made sure that it stuck. Bubbles will always be a Sadie original.
May your open heart lead you to solving this problem that supports your family in love and peace.
1 mom found this helpful
K.S. answers from Boston on October 03, 2008
Before I read the other responses. I want to say that my son called my boyfriend now my husband dada on his own. He was 3 when it happened and he just said dada. We didn't encourage it nor did we tell him not to. we just kept going on with everything. I refered to him by his name until one day he did it again. So I sat him down and asked him if thats what he wanted to call him and he said yes that he had two daddies. I told him ok. I still referred to my husband by his name for a while until I relaized my son wasn't going to stop and he started saying thats not his name his name is dada or daddy.
My sons father did have an issue and thought I told him to do it. He also thought it was weird as my son didn't call his girlfriend mom. He kept telling my son he only had one dad and this bothered my son(he told me it hurt him) so I spoke to his dad and told him to stop. Thats its not about him its about our son and what he wants.
so I think you should let your child decide what he feels comfortable with. He will call him what he wants to. As long as it isn't inappropriate.
1 mom found this helpful
M.F. answers from New London on October 03, 2008
I entered into the same situation. Now, almost 4 years later, she calls him daddy. Let me explain. Once she began talking, I consulted with her father. We came up with Daddy Joe, and Daddy John (not their real names, but you understand). She called each of them daddy, but included their first names too. I'm lucky too, that her father is a decent guy who understands the impact my (now) husband has had on our child's life, and what a gift it is to be able to say you have 2 daddies who care and love her very much. Her father isn't able to be around much, since he lives accross the country, but he calls, sends pictures, and packages, and has had her for a few days here and there, so her connection is definitely stronger with my husband, but we always include her father in decisions we make for our daughter. If your son's father can be talked with like my ex, then you can try going that route, and see what he says.
L.G. answers from Boston on October 03, 2008
How about "Papa" doesn't take away the "daddy" title for his biological but signifies the importance of your boyfriend's role. And i think sounds sooo cute.
M.V. answers from Los Angeles on December 05, 2012
i don't know the situation so I apologize ahead of time for what i am going to say. you're planning to stay with your boyfriend for a very long time wish you many blessings in partnership. "TECHNICALLY he's not his son". you clam he helps you that makes him a dad well not by blood,but it's not blood who makes a good dad its rearing. His biological father would have a fit if he called him "daddy" well he has a right to have a fit. he might feel that your current partner is going to upsurge his role as a dad. you cant do that to a parent. i am not calming that is your intentions. i duno maybe call him a name that the both of them can agree. how about calling him something special that your son and your boyfriend come up with as this would be a u quine epithet for the both of them without stepping on his biological dad.
Hope that helped.
L.L. answers from Portland on October 03, 2008
This is a hard one...how about Papa Chris?
J.P. answers from Springfield on October 03, 2008
I agree that if the bio dad is in the picture, then "Dad" or any derivative thereof should be reserved exclusively for him. I am divorced and my girls call their dad's girlfriend by her name and will continue to do so even after (if) they end up getting married.Likewise, no man I end up with will be anything other than their name to my girls. It is a sign of respect to the biological parent (where they are involved - different rules, I think where the bio is not). I like the suggestion of seeing what your son comes up with naturally. And, ultimately, Joshua will know who Chris is to him - it doesn't need a formal title. It can all be done without stepping on anyone's toes.
H.D. answers from Barnstable on October 03, 2008
first name is fine. You can give your boyfriend a pet name.. don't make your son.