What Is Your 3 Yo's Bedtime???

Updated on July 13, 2010
C.C. asks from Crown Point, IN
45 answers

Just curious what children my daughters age is going to bed at night. Mine doesnt go to bed until 9pm which seems alittle late to me but cant get her down any earlier - she always gives me "its not dark yet" when I try and get her into bed earlier. I work full time and have to get up every morning at 5am so would love to get to bed earlier if possible!!

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

my 2 year old and 4 year old go to bed at about 7:30 and get up around 7-8. Dark or not, its bed time. And i need 2 minutes to myself at the end of the day, and that's about all i get!!!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

My now 4 year old has always had an 8-8:30 bedtime since he moved on from his infant/1 year old time of 7:00-7:30. I don't care if it's dark or light -it's bedtime, and if he doesn't want to go to sleep, he's told to take some books into bed or to play quietly in his room. He is NOT allowed to come out of his room, make a bunch of noise, etc. He usually falls asleep, although sometimes it's proceeded by a tantrum.

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

My 1 and 5 year old bedtime is 9pm but my 1 year old gets up at 5am so if we put him down any earlier he will be up earlier.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think it really matters what others schedules are, it all depends on your schedule. I don't put my kid to bed until later, because we are not morning people and we work a lot in the evenings, and I don't want him getting up at 5:30-6am every morning! As long as your kid is getting between 10-12 hours a night, I don't think it matters.

My husband had some snot nosed grocery store checker tell him this week that he was a bad parent because she has seen our son in the store with him at night. She said she is going to school for childhood development and any parent who brings their kid to the store that late at night is a bad parent. I was so mad, how dare her! She has no idea what our work schedules are and shouldn't be acting like a know it all little b$^&h!! I can't wait until I see her in the store, lol!!! Nosey little broad!

You have to do what's best for your schedule, and only you know what that is.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

my kids are now 11 and almost 8 and their bedtime is 7:15 during the school year and 8 during the summer. They are asleep almost instantly and sleep till 7 ish. They have had this bedtime since they were babies. I recommend this bedtime for all my daycare kids as well.

Kids need 12 hours of sleep at night until they are 8. So, put her to bed earlier. You miss the window of sleep and then you will find them fighting the bedtime instead of going right to sleep. So aim for 7.

You may be saying that the sun is too bright - so I'll tell you how to go around that - take the scratchy part of velcro and put that on the window frame. Then use some black felt and have it cut 12 inches wider and taller then the window size. Stick the felt to the velcro and you have darkness. You may need 2 pieces of felt to make it dark enough.

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A.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

7:30 during the school year, and 7:30-8:30 for summer time. BTW this is for all 4 of our kids (12, 9, 6, 4). We have room darkening shades which help a ton. The other thing that helps is they run like CRAZY all day and are very tired at night. Sporting events change our bedtimes too; we have 4 hockey players as of this coming school year. GOOD LUCK, stick with it and keep your routine, you can move bedtime by a few minutes each night to ease the pain.

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J.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter goes to bed around 7:30 or 8 and just turned 3. She doesn't nap though. If she naps, she stays up very late. She wakes up at 7:30 to 8 in the morning as well.

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R.A.

answers from Chicago on

She needs more sleep than she is getting. When we were having problems getting our son to go to sleep, our family doctor recommended moving his bedtime to an earlier time, saying that as children get tired, their adrenaline amps up and it's actually harder for them to fall asleep later. You need to find her "window," and at her age, I would try 7:00 pm. Put curtains or blankets over her windows and don't engage in an argument about whether or not it's dark. Our son is seven, and we still put him to bed between 7:30 and 8:00. We are the only family on our block of many children to do so. I'm always hearing horror stories from the other parents about how hard it is to get their children to fall asleep, while ours is typically sound asleep by 8:30 at the latest.

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K.E.

answers from Buffalo on

My kids (ages 7 and 4) have had the bedtime of 730 all of the lives. My 7 year old will be asleep by 8 (he does not take a nap) My 4 yr old will be asleep by 8 as well if he had no nap if he sleeps too long will matter on when he falls alseep but always no later then 830. My kids do the same thing in the summer, I got them curtains that block out the sun and a clock and showed them that at this time is bed time wheather the sun it up or not. They do not believe you with out the clock.

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

We shoot for 8 or 8:30, but sometimes life gets in the way and it becomes 9 or 9:30. If my son didn't have a nap that day, he is normally ready to go to bed by 8:30, but if he had a nap, I know that he will probably be in his bed talking himself to sleep at 9:30.

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

7:30- pick up "healthy sleep habits, happy child"

It was my lifesaver!

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A.B.

answers from Appleton on

We also change with the season, it truly is hard for young ones to understand why in the middle of winter it is dark at 5pm and in Summer it is still light at 8:30pm. We try to stay as consistent as we can but I would say it depends on the day she has had. Most of the time she has to be in bed before 9pm in the Summer--it is 8pm in the winter. If we are lucky and she has worn herself out she will be asleep by 9pm but that is usually wishful thinking.

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V.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.

My Daughter will be 6 in August, she has shockingly gone to bed between 6 & 6:30 since she was 5 months old, she wakes up around 6 or 6:30 also.
She gets her 12 hours easily along with a nap for 1 hr. 15 minutes, which I have to start to drop because of 1st grade in September.
A few suggestions a sound machine works wonders and room darkening shades.
9:00 seems late however you need to do what works for your family, she should be getting as close to 12 hours as she can.
Good Luck
V.

ps a bath before bed is helpfull if you have the time, it's relaxing for them.

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son is 3.5 and he goes to bed between 7:45-8:30, depending on when he went down for a nap.. What I do with the time change to make it feel later in the house is close all my curtains and blinds about 6:30-7ish to make it "feel" as if it's getting later.. My son has black out curtains so that helps also...

J.B.

answers from Houston on

about 8, closer to 9 in the summer when it is dark:)

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

9 in the summer, 8 in the winter (but my 3.5 year old also takes a 2-3 hour nap daily).

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,
We have a routine every day. Dinner 5-5:30 playtime, watch DVD 15-30 minutes and bath 7-7:30. He's in bed a little before 8:00 so I could read to him a little. Usually he's asleep by 8:30, sometime not until 9:00. He wakes in the morning between 5:00 and 7:00 a.m. Naps between Noon and 2:00 p.m.

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N.A.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter (just turned 3) goes to bed at 7:30 or 8:00 during the summer. She is up at 6am M-F, and I know she's exhausted come night time. We do find that it can be a struggle this time of year to get them to go to bed, but believe me, they really are tired come this time. I find that the more she argues with me about "not" wanting to go to bed, the more tired she really is. I turn on her music and I don't "bribe" her to go to sleep, but I let her know what we are doing the next day (or what she's doing in preschool) and in order for that "fun" day to come, she needs to sleep fast so she can play! Tends to work 9 out of 10 times.

Good luck!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

My son stopped napping around 3 so when he napped 9 pm. If no nap then I try for 8:30 or even 8 if he is acting tired (sometimes he crashes at dinnertime and screws up his whole routine though). He needs to get to bed earlier if he has a busy day of preschool. We also get up much later than you. My son usually gets up between 7 and 8, occasionally earlier if it is sunny in the summer.

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A.P.

answers from Boston on

My daughter was going to bed around 8:30 - 9 when she was napping. Now that she doesn't nap its much earlier, like 7:30-8.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Anytime between 12:00 a.m. and 2:00 a.m. (but we try to put him in his room by 12:30). My husband works 3-11 and has the kids during the day when I'm at work, and has since before they were born, so we've just had them on a late to bed, late to rise schedule. People are sometimes shocked and tell me, "You know, you're going to have to put them to bed earlier when they start school." I usually act vastly surprised and say something like, "Are you serious? Really??" :) As long as your child is getting enough sleep, bedtime doesn't really matter. We're going down earlier and getting up earlier now that it is light earlier in the morning.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My daughter is 3 and she goes to bed between 8:00 and 9:00, but we don't have to get up early. Does she nap during the day? I know if my daughter naps, she's up a lot later than if she doesn't nap.
You could get some black out shades for her bedroom so it's dark in there.

S.R.

answers from Chicago on

My kids are 4 and 2 , by 3 my eldest stopped napping and my 2 year old will have a 40 min nap if I put her down but she can go without it. They go to bed at 7 and they play in their room for a bit but are usually asleep by 7.30 they wake up at 7 or 7.30 which is great, I use black out blinds it really helps in the summer but if you are up early with the larks you may not need them although it does help on a sunny evening too..I am going to let my 4 year old go to bed at 7.30 soon and work it to 8 when she start school so she feels more of a "big girl than her little sister.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter will be three next month (OMG...she's getting old!) and her bedtime is 8pm. She gets up anywhere from 530-630 during the week and on the weekends. On the weekends she does not nap so she will sometimes go to bed a little earlier.

I do not think 9pm is too late if she gets enough sleep. If she's getting up at 5am, that is only 8 hours and unless she's taking a 3+ hour nap during the day, I think she needs more sleep.

Explain to her that even though it's light outside, it's bedtime. I told my daughter her bedtime is 8 pm and on the clock it's eight zero zero. When she sees that time, she knows it's time for bed.

I suggest making sure her room is dark (we use the black out curtains) but leave the door open so there is still light coming into her room. Try to move it up 10 minutes each week or every few days.

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son will be 3 in aug and he is in his by 7:45, sometimes 8. He will lay in there for a while but is usually sleeping by 8:30 and is up by 6:30 usually and takes a 1-2 hour nap in the afternoon around 1pm. He will be taking a nap or at least having quiet time for a few years yet. It doesn't matter if it is light out. bed time is bed time. she is only 3 and up early. My 3 month old is in bed at 7 and then we start his bed time routine and he goes to bed. I need my small amount of time at night to to get things done that i didnt before. I think 9 is a little late for age 3.

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

don't let people tell you she needs more sleep than she is getting, you don't even mention what her naps are for pete's sake. my 3 yr old goes to bed at 8 o'clock. he wakes up about 7 or 8 and will take a nap for an hour or two, or not, depending on whether he's tired and what has gone on that day. you can always tweak her bedtime, adjust her naps, etc...you're allowed! don't let her arguing be the deciding factor in when she goes to bed. i get up at 5:30 too so i understand. some nights my son is awake in his room for an hour, but some nights he is out like a light. but i am always able to get to bed between 9 and 10. i have to have some quiet down time before i crash...

T.M.

answers from Reading on

My 2 1/2, 4 and 5 1/2 yo all get up about 7:00 am, take a two hour nap everyday and go to bed at 9:00 p.m. during the summer and about 8:00 during the winter. My 5 yo does argue that it is still bright out but she never wins and goes to bed when I say so.
If you put her down and she doesn't want to sleep tell her that she can just stay in her room and play quietly and when she's ready for bed to turn off the light and lay down. That has always worked for my kids, especially on the days that they've taken too long of a nap.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I have two little owls (we are owls as well so it works very well on the weekends) on the weekdays it is tough, I have to wake them up after rising from deep sleep myself (thanks to the alarm clock).
My 3 y/o sleeps until 9 am (if I will not wake him up) goes to bed at 9 pm, we read and he falls asleep between 9:45 - 10 pm if we are lucky on the days he does not nap.
If I wake him up at 7:20- am for preeschool he might take a nap in the afternoon and he will not quiet down until 10-10:30 pm sometimes. Without a nap on school days still goes to bed around 9 pm. Falls asleep faster though.
On the weekends we all sleep in :) sometimes till 9:30 am and kids go to bed around 9:30 - 10 pm.

Some kids are early birds and some are owls. You cannot fight her biological clock, just try to somehow work around it. It was hard for me to get up in the morning all my life, and I am most productive in the afternoon. My kids are the same.

I know it is tough if you have to get up at 5 am. Waking my son earlier just buys me additional 30-60 min in the evening, but he is soooo much crankier the whole day if he wakes up before his natural wake up time. So I let him follow his biological schedule as much as I can.

Hope that helps some, good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 3 1/2 now. We do the 8 to 8:30 during the school year, 9pm in the summer thing. He wakes up around 6:30 to 7am. He goes down for a 2 hour nap around 1:30 or 2. Sometimes his nap is slightly longer, sometimes slightly earlier, depending on what we've been doing that day, but 2 hours is a good average for him.

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C.L.

answers from Fresno on

My 3 year old goes to bed around 8:00 (8:30 in the summer)

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N.O.

answers from Phoenix on

When she was 3 it was 7:00 pm. About 4 months before her 4th birthday it became 7:30/8:00. We have to get up at 5:30 am on weekdays.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My boys are 4 and 6. They have been going to bed at 8 since birth. Now that it is summer I have pushed that back a little on some nights to 8:30, but once school starts it will be right back to 8.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

It's hard in the summer b/c our natural body rythms want us to go to bed when it's dark and get up when it's light. I dont' think 9 is too late as long as she's getting enough sleep. My 3.5 year old goes to "bed" (room) at 8:30 and is usually asleep by 9... not always in the summer. You could try putting her in her room earlier and telling her she can read etc , but has to stay there - then if she is tired, she'll go to sleep. You could also try soom room darkening shades.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is not quite 3 yet, she will be in September, and she goes to bed about 8. If she doesn't take a nap, which she is slowly transitioning out of her nap, she goes down between 7:30-8. 9 does seem a bit late considering you all get up so early, but you have to do what works for you. Also, once the time change hits (I know it's far away at this point) you could try transitioning her to an earlier bed time since it will start getting dark at 5 again!

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M.U.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter, who turns three in Oct, is always sleeping by 8pm (winding down in room reading by 7:30) and she still takes a nap. Not because she wants to but because it's mandatory quiet time. I tell her she doesn't need to sleep but that it's quiet time. She usually falls asleep. We have always put her to sleep between 7:30-8:00p no matter how long her naps. It was the rule. I believe that if you make it the rule, and are consistant with it, your child will comply and fall alseep at that time every night. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is in bed by 8pm. She also takes a two hour nap from noon to 2pm. We get her up at 7 am

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, I have 2 kids (7-1/2 and 3-1/2), and they are on the same schedule. During the school year, they are in bed by 7:15p or 7:30p, and now that it is Summer, I am more lenient, and let them go to bed around 8p or 8:30p!!! Now the 3-1/2 year old hasn't had naps since he was before 3p, and I can't force him to sleep, but he has to go in his bed, and he usually sings and plays with his animals in bed, or whatever!!! He usually falls asleep anywhere between 8p and 10p - but at least he is resting. And he gets up anywhere between 7a and 10a in the morning! I always say "sleep begets sleep"! My daughter will lay down by 7:30p, and I let her read for 30 minutes, then lights out, and she usually wakes up between 7a and 8a. Both my kids are pretty good sleepers! Plus for the older one, especially during the summer isn't aloud to come out of her room until 8a, so that makes her sleep more too. My kids both have blinds in their room, so it is darker in there, so that helps.
Routine, routine... Maybe make dinner 30 minutes earlier, and start your routine earlier to "confuse them"! :) The best of luck to you...kids do need sleep. My kids are crabby if they don't, and then I have to pay for it! ha!!!

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

my kids have always gone to bed by 8 during the week, sometimes 8:30 on the weekends. dark or not, if you tell her it's time for bed...

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

We start the routine at 6:45, and he's in bed around 7:30. We have room darkening curtains and a shade on his window.

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

We shoot for 8pm, but he usually plays with his toys in bed or looks at books until 8:30pm or 9pm. He sleeps until 7am, and still takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.

T.T.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 3 and goes to be at 9. We start the "bedding" precess around 815 tho and winnd down to about 845 and then usually asleep by 9 (not always).

My son is in day care and they mak him take a nap for upwards of 2.5 hours so getting him to bed earlier simply isn't an option for us.

No on the weekends, if he naps...it's 10...if not...it's around 730 or 8. He sleeps well so that works out...

There is no right or wrong time for your kid to go to bed just as long as he's getting enough sleep...

Smiles to you!!

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I had an interesting experience with my 2nd son. I struggled to get him to take a nap each and every day. I finally had an epiphany and decided to end nap time and put him and his brother to bed earlier at 7:30. It was truly amazing because they easily went down and slept through the night. I think when kids get too tired, they 'wind up' and if you can catch them before that they will sleep easier.

He is now 7, his brother is 10. We pretty much stick to the 7:30 bedtime. Instead of sleeping immediately though, the 7 year old reads until at 8:15. The ten year old reads until 9:30. In any case, the earlier bedtime provides that much needed time for mom and dad and they are well rested.

Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

My son is in his room at 8. I don't care if he reads or plays a little, but he's not allowed to be up and running around or yelling or anything like that. He's usually asleep by 8:30.

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L.D.

answers from Houston on

I have three boys (11, 6.5 and almost 4). During the school year they are in bed by 8 pm and during the summer it is 8:30 pm. They play so hard with other kids they are in bed much sooner than that. We do quiet time 30 mintues before bed, which they get to watch TV (usually Curious George, Blues Clues, or PBS Sprouts) or the two older ones read a book outloud so the little one can hear. This way they are pretty much relaxed before bedtime. Hope this helps. -- L.

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A.J.

answers from Visalia on

My kids are 4 and 6, their bedtime has been 7:30 for at least 3 yrs. During the school year, they have to get up at 6:45am, so 7:30 is a very strict bedtime b/c since they share a room, it can take them an hour to fall asleep sometimes. We have a noisy fan in their room to block out noise of the TV or whatever and I have foil taped to the inside of their windows to darken the room.
I agree that if your daughter is taking a nap during the day, especially for more than an hour, that will push her bedtime way back. Try shortening her nap at first and then cutting it out altogether. If she's waking up at 5am, she should be in bed going to sleep at 7pm, no later.

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