6 answers

What is the appropriate bedtime for an 11 years old?

What is an appropriate bedtime for and 11 year old? How much sleep does a child this age need each night? I have an almost 11 year old who goes to bed at 8 pm every night. She complains daily how all of her friends stay up much later. She is still tired in the morning so I have been putting off giving her a later bedtime. I have talked to some of her friends parents and all have made comments such as "I wish my son would go to bed earlier but we can't get him to do it..." So, I believe that many of her friends are in fact going to bed later than 8 o'clock but it sounds like it is because the kids are running the show (which does not fit my parenting style at all). At the same time I don't want to be unreasonable with bedtime if 8 is really too early. What do you all think?

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Summary

At these ages, with social, school, and family activities, bedtimes gradually become later and later, with most 12-years-olds going to bed at about 9 p.m. There is still a wide range of bedtimes, from 7:30 to 10 p.m., as well as total sleep times, from 9 to 12 hours.

More Answers

Hi E.,
I am a big fan of Dr. Marc Weissbluth when it comes to info on childrens' sleep needs. Does it take your daughter longer than 45mins to fall asleep? Is she waking up during the night and having a hard time going back to sleep? If she is waking up tired in the morning then I wouldn't give her a later bedtime as she will wakeup even more tired. The problem we face as parents is not all children require the same amount of sleep and making sure each child gets enough sleep is hard. It goes back to needs verses wants. I don't think 8pm is too early for an eleven yr old, and as she hits early teens she may need even more sleep! It sounds like you are doing great with meeting her sleep needs. Don't give in to her pressure. Just because her friends stay up later doesn't mean it is best for them, nor does it mean it is what's best for her. Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
L.

3 moms found this helpful

Hey E.~
I have a 12/9/7 year old- all different children- all different needs.. 12 yr old goes to bed at 9pm, she wakes up at 6 to get herself ready. 9 yr old goes to bed at 8:30pm separate room, separate child, and he wakes up at 7am to get himself ready.. then we have the little one who is 7 yrs old and he goes to bed at 8:30pm as well becuase he is very fuzzy, and very needy- he has the bedtime routine where the other two do not so it takes him forever to go to bed, fully asleep so he gets up at 7am as well- he gets ready quickly. But see, when it comes to Summer and no school- they all go to bed at 10pm, no if's and'd or butts' that is the rule for summer--- and that is what they NEED to do.. so whatever you need to do to work with that particular teen is up to you- you are the parent, there is nothing wrong with tweaking the schedule, its your child and you know her best!! Good luck and I am sure you will figure the best way- who cares what other parents' do- I am not that child's parent- right?

2 moms found this helpful

That sounds just like my 11 year old. She does need that much sleep. If she stays up later, the morning is more difficult and she stays groggy. Sleep overs are a nightmare because it takes her several days to recover from the lack of sleep.

She is going through a growth spurt right now and hormones are raging, she really needs the rest. She falls asleep right away, after about 15 minutes of reading.

2 moms found this helpful

What time does she get up? If she is waking up tired still, have you thought maybe she is getting too much sleep? Not everyone requires the same amount of sleep and sometimes sleeping too much makes you feel more tired. Maybe you can try a later bedtime and see how it works, explaining to your daughter if it doesn't work well, you will need to go back to the original bedtime. I understand the not being able to get the kids to do it..And NO I do not let my kids run the show, but if I try to put them down too early, they spend more time tossing, turning and it takes them FOREVER to actually fall asleep. They are 5 and 7 and they go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 7am, somtimes my younger one is up earlier than that and even on the weekends she is up early, she definately does not require as much sleep as other children, if she does sleep more, she is very cranky for the day! I guess what I am trying to say, is each child is different and you may need to experiment to see if yours needs more or less sleep, you are the mom and as moms we generally know what is the best for our child, they are all unique and different!! GOOD LUCK!!!

1 mom found this helpful

Now I have been working with children for over 15 years and one common problem in families is bedtimes.At the age of 10 and 9 your child would sleep at about 8-9:00pm. At the age of 11 your child is growing up and you need to give your child some more space and responsibility. At 11 an average bedtime were mother and child can comprimise is around 10:30pm this is a reasonable time as long as your child will get up in the morning!

Updated

Now I have been working with children for over 15 years and one common problem in families is bedtimes.At the age of 10 and 9 your child would sleep at about 8-9:00pm. At the age of 11 your child is growing up and you need to give your child some more space and responsibility. At 11 an average bedtime were mother and child can comprimise is around 10:30pm this is a reasonable time as long as your child will get up in the morning!

Updated

Now I have been working with children for over 15 years and one common problem in families is bedtimes.At the age of 10 and 9 your child would sleep at about 8-9:00pm. At the age of 11 your child is growing up and you need to give your child some more space and responsibility. At 11 an average bedtime were mother and child can comprimise is around 10:30pm this is a reasonable time as long as your child will get up in the morning!

8 seems early, what time does she get up? If she gets up at 7 that's 11 hours, which is more than a child that age usually needs. I think between 9 and 10 hours a night is appropriate at that age. A lot of moms have recommended "Healthy Sleep Habits..." by Weissbluth on this site. I'm considering getting it myself because of my own question.

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