T.A. asks from Charleston, WV on October 09, 2008
What Is a Good Kindergarten Classroom?
My 5 year old granddaughter is in her 7th week of Kindergarten, and she is struggling. She was in preschool last year and loved it. She is a talker, and always has been. She talks constantly at home, even when playing alone, because her favorite type of play is with dolls, so she acts out the part for all of the dolls that she plays with. She has had notes sent home every week since school started with checks for the inappropriate behavior that has consisted of talking, interupting the teacher, and not paying attention. My daughter has only been able to visit the classroom a couple of times because the school doesn't like for parents to enter when bringing them to school or picking them up. On the times that she has, she felt somewhat uncomfortable about the atmosphere that she saw. She felt that it was very rigid, and she is concerned that this will result in her daughter disliking school at a young age. We realize that kindergarten has changed, and the children work like they used to in first grade. But how much is too much? The children are given one short recess in the afternoon, and she has had homework nearly every night(other than Friday) since school started. One evening when I asked her if she had gone outside that day, she told me that she had to stay inside because she needs to zip her lip. Is this typical and our concerns unfounded? If they are not typical, what should you look for in a good kindergarten, and school for that matter?
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T.B. answers from Memphis on October 13, 2008
My child has a great teacher I must say, however, I her best friend had a rough time last year as well. They found that it was actually the assistant in the classroom that was the problem. My school has the same rules. You may need to request a different teacher. Talk to other moms in the area that have children a little older and get suggestions. Would love to know if you are in my school system. I can give you several teachers that are more patient and less strict. My Kindergartener also has homework but she has one sheet that is to completed by Friday. I am in Batesville, MS.
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E.M. answers from Louisville on October 12, 2008
OK HUGE HUGE HUGE red flag..... the school doesnt want you to come in the class room bad bad bad... schools should be more than willing to share the learning experience with you. if she was uncomfortable with what she saw and the child is unhappy get out of there! also kids this age are never quiet all the time..... this teacher needs to get a grip!
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D.B. answers from Raleigh on October 10, 2008
T.-
I am a reading specialist in a public school and also a parent of a 5-year-old Kindergartener, so I can speak to both sides of this issue.
First, I would encourage your daughter to talk to the teacher. Set up a conference, and go in with an actual list of questions you have so that when you get nervous (as we all do with issues of concern) they'll be there for reference. Be direct. Ask questions such as, "What are the expectations during lessons? Do the children sit in a specific spot? How do they respond to questions (raising hands)? What is the behavior management plan? What can I do to reinforce expectations at home? Can we come up with a plan together that will help my daughter to better understand and follow the expectations?" Such a plan might actually be a daily or weekly paper that has pictures showing what's expected as a visual reminder for the child and areas for the teacher to indicate whether the expectations were met that day/week. This might have goals as simple as "I will raise my hand to speak in class."
Before your daughter goes in, have her think about what preschool was like last year. What were the expectations there? How did your granddaughter do with those expectations? That will give you a baseline before going in to the conference.
As a teacher who's worked with lots of different Kindergarten teachers, I'll tell you that each one has a different personality, and that personality drives how he/she sets up the classroom and what they expect of students. Some teachers can tolerate a high noise level while students work, and others want students to work more quietly. Some have strict rules about raising hands ALL the time, and others manage the class more loosely but it works well for them. So you guys just need to get a feel for how this teacher is, and next year you'll start this process again. One of the great things about school is that every year your child is exposed to a different teaching personality, which is preparation for working with lots of different people as an adult.
As far as the recess issue is concerned, I would worry about that. I'm not sure where you live, but in our state, it is state law that children receive at least 30 minutes of physical activity per day. Since we don't have PE every day, recess is used to fulfill the requirement, so teachers are not allowed to withhold recess.
Hopefully your daughter can get together with the teacher and develop a plan for helping everyone adjust to Kindergarten. Good luck!
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M.B. answers from Louisville on October 10, 2008
Unfortunately, yes this is normal. Kindergarten is no longer the grade for socializing and teaching them to color between the lines. It is now what 1st grade us to be. If the daycare she went to was really relaxed and not very structured then I can see how she would have a difficult time adjusting. Teachers are pressured now to have the kids on a rigid schedule and to teach certain things. There is no longer any time for arts and crafts and free time. When I taught kindergarten we weren't aloud to do arts and crafts we had to follow a strict schedule reading and writing in the morning and math and science/social studies in the afternoon. Plus, with 20 some odd 5/6 yr olds in the class with possibly with no aide then structure is an absolute must. The older she gets the harder it will be if the talking isn't under control now. I guess just look at it as a rough lesson now to help her later. If you really feel uncomfortable with the situation you can always request a room change, but it still wouldn't address her interrupting and talking all the time. Good Luck.
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R.M. answers from Chattanooga on October 09, 2008
Woah woah woah, no matter WHAT their policies, your daughter has the right to observe at least once, and if she is not comfortable with it, she has the right to speak with the principal about it. Secondly, kept inside because she needs to "zip her lip"? That is wrong IMO If my sons or my daughter get into trouble for talking or getting out of their seat, or ot doing their work, they are still brought outside WITH the teacher, and they sit with the teacher instead of playing with the other children. Unfortunately the daily homework is quite typical nowadays, so nothing abnormal there. Good luck and God bless.
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D.J. answers from Greensboro on October 09, 2008
A neighbor's daughter is in 1st grade this year, but at this time last year, she had the SAME concerns! She's in a private school and the teacher seemed really cold, not a typical "kindergarten type," as we imagine a cheerful, energetic, young type of person to be a kindergarten teacher. The homework WAS outrageous, things I didn't do until 2nd grade when I was in school! The little girl said her teacher was mean, she was scared of her...Right around Christmas, things started to look up and by the end of the year, she was doing well, AND coincidentally, she was THRILLED to find out that this teacher was teaching 1st grade this year and is HER teacher once again. She does well, even though she does have a MATH tutor in FIRST GRADE, I can't even believe how cut-throat elementary school has become.
In any case, I think your daughter has a right to be as big a part of her daughter's education as she feels is necessary. Keep in mind, some teachers (especially older teachers) believe in the rule, "don't smile before Christmas" They make it a little tougher in the beginning to get the child into the habit of being able to sit quietly early on to ultimately make the rest of the year productive for the kids. If it were my child, I'd be requesting a meeting with the teacher, though. "zip the lip" is a little harsh and kids need the recess time. good luck to your family on this. It is becoming more and more common for parents to feel this way. :( sad, but true.
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L.M. answers from Nashville on October 09, 2008
wow, non of that sits right with me. My daughter is in kindergarten and I can go in her classroom at ANY time, I could sit there all week if I wanted to so I'm not sure what's going on there. Now, if the school has experienced parents wanting to get into deep conversations and details about their child, etc with the teacher then this may be the reason for them not wanting parents in the classroom at pick up/drop off times. Anyhow, parent's should be informed that those times are not appropriate for conferences and parent/teacher conferences should be scheduled. Definately have your daughter set up a conference with the teacher and/or principal. How the teachers talk to the students and the appropriate punishment should be discussed too.
best of luck
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A.C. answers from Wilmington on October 10, 2008
Frankly, I don't like the feel of this school. And, I've been wrong whenever I haven't followed my gut feeling.
Is changing teachers or schools an option?
Is it possible for you or your daughter to volunteer in the school to get a better feel for the teacher or the school? What school doesn't like having volunteers come in to read to the classroom or help tutor arithmetic?
Good luck!
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J.L. answers from Clarksville on October 10, 2008
HI T.,
I haven't read all your responses so I apologize if I'm repeating anything that has already been mentioned.
As a former educator and now a parent I would have some serious issues with the fact that parents aren't welcome at the school. That is a HUGE RED FLAG for me!!! I have 2 in school now, my 5y/o just started kindergarten. Parents are encouraged and welcome to come into the classroom, have lunch, volunteer, and read to the students, etc any time. I have dropped in on both my children's classrooms on occassion(to observe) and have never felt unwelcomed!
Is your grand daughter a young 5? This could very well be why she is struggling. If she is a young 5, I would strongly consider withdrawing her from school and re-enrolling her in preschool again. I was an older 5 when I started school and my nephew will be 6 when he starts kindergarten because he misses the cut off. It's not going to hurt her if she isn't in kindergarten when she's 5. This may give her the time to mature and you could all work on her listening skills. I would be concerned that she is talking so much and interrupting the teacher but I would also want to be sure that your grand daughter's needs are being met.
If your daughter is feeling uncomfortable for tension while she's there visiting what is it like for the students during the day? I would also be concerned with your grand daugther telling you she needed to ZIP HER LIP...Do you or your daugther talk to her like that? If not, this is how the teacher is talking to her in the classroom. As a former educator there are more appropriate ways for her to ask your daugther to stop talking. She's 5 and loss of recess shouldn't be a consequence. There are some students that need to get out and burn off that extra energy.
If I were you, I would start by observing in the classroom again, talking to the teacher and possibly the assistant principal/principal about no parents welcome and any other concerns you may have. Encourage your daughter to listen to her inner self. Be open to the fact that your grand daugther may just not be ready for such a rigid stucture. As a former kindergarten teacher I feel one needs to be flexible and you can still have clear expectations and boundaries.
Good luck to you.
Peace,
J.
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A.H. answers from Raleigh on October 10, 2008
It doesn't sound good to me. Kindergarten teachers and kindergarten are usually very positive, very busy places. A rule of thumb for students of all ages is that they can listen to a lecture for the same amount of time as their age. Since your granddaughter is 5, a reasonable expectation is that she sits and listens for 5 minutes. I would be contacting the teacher with your concerns and ask for an immediate conference. If she/he does not give you the answers you expect, talk to the principal.
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