What Happened to My Sweet 2 Year Old and Who Is This Crazy 3 Year Old?

Updated on December 05, 2007
R.S. asks from Atlanta, GA
6 answers

My son turned three in October and his behavior has been just terrible lately. He is so defiant, emotional and challenging. If he doesn't get his way, he throws a fit. He was a relatively easy kid up till now. I do realize that his turning three also coincided with the birth of his sister, but any advice on dealing with these behaviors is greatly apprecaited. Is this typical for a three year old? How long can I expect this phase to last?
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A.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi there R.,
My son will be 3 in January and we have been going through this phase for a little while now. His sister is 8 months old, I am guessing that her birth had something to do with it as well. Of course I expected jealousy, but he was a great kid, and then turned into the only thing I can call a monster at times. He does "no nos" for spite. He refused for the longest time to go to the potty. He didnt want anything to do with his sister. Tantrums, biting, spiting, etc... I dont mean to scare you. I kept to my discipline: timeouts and taking things away, and denying him play dates, etc... He still pushes my buttons from time to time but he is much better now. He actually plays pretty well with his sister and has become her protector, every time is cries he comes to the rescue with kisses. So cute. It will take some time, I would say 6 months, and things will even out. He will realize you mean business and arent going to take his bad behavior and he'll also realize that his sister isnt going anywhere. I hope I shed some light on the situation and didnt scare you too bad. Good luck and God bless.
A.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.R.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm not sure it is because there is a baby in the house - though that may be part of it. I went through it with my son when he turned 3, and he is now 6. They grow out of it. But I think 3's are much more terrible than the 2's!

My son was also 3 when my daughter was born, and I was specific with people when they came to visit, that they should pay attention to the older sibling. Though they want to visit with the baby, the baby doesn't know the difference, but the sibling does. Also, most people will bring a gift for the baby, but they don't always think of the older sibling. I would have something from the dollar store at the house, or a Matchbox car, in case the older child was overlooked. It makes a huge difference to the sibling!

Anyway, my daughter just turned 3 last month, as well, and it has become a nightmare at times. I tell her to go to her room to have her tantrums and come out when she is ready to be nice. If you are out when the tantrums happen, you have to be consistent and if you say you are going to leave, you leave.

We have also implemented a chart where our kids can earn a sticker for being good all day, and when they earn 10 stickers in a row, they get a special day out with mommy or daddy.

They will grow out of it. Having been through it once, I know it will happen. But it's amazing this transformation they go through!

Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi R..

This is typical for a new sibling in the house. Continue with consistent (I mean consistent!) discipline and continue to make sure he knows he's just as special as he was before his sister got here! Dynamics in your home will never be the same but believe me, everything will be fine!

Regards,

M.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Sumter on

Three is much worse than two in my opinion. Keep your boundaries, but show him grace because he is sooooo jealous. Boys are much more possesive of their moms than girls. Be Blessed!

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M.B.

answers from Charleston on

Well my son also turned three in November and I can definitely say that my son throws tempre tantrums he started these when he was almost three and continues with them. Like the saying goes terrible twos and horrible threes that is how it was with my daughter also who is now 7. I absolutely hated the end of the second and whole third year. After that it was smooth sailing with her. Hopefully it will be with my son but that means I have to suffer for at least another 7 months before he snaps out of his funk. Hope this helps.

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

I dont think its b/c hes 3 its b/c he is having to share your attention with someone new.My son had also been doing this and will say Im nice to his baby brother but not him.When in fact he does things like trying to wrestle with the baby or doing things he knows isnt allowed to get my attention and since my son will be 5 in march I have explained to him that mommy expects more from him b/c he's older and wiser and that he too was once a baby and got ALL my attention and that misbehaving only brings bad attention. I constantly see him fighting for my attention when were out or home and Im changing or feeding the baby or doing anything with him and my son will say look mommy look what I can do, or look at my cool car and I turn and try to seem amazed by it so that he feels proud.I've had to punish him a little more for the bad behavior but he's getting better and I have no doubt that as the baby gets older he won't feel as much need or want to fight for my attention, we also let him stay up past the babies bed time so he gets some no baby time with us.

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