What Do You Wish You Would Have Done Before and During Pregnancy?

Hi, A.!

I wish that I had....

- taken serious childbirth classes (like the 12-week Bradley classes) instead of the wimpy 4-week class we took which didn't do much good

- bought our house before we had a baby!

- hired a birth photographer

- done pregnancy photography

- had a mother blessing ceremony instead of a baby shower

- let my mom do more for me instead of trying to be up the day after the birth

Blessings!
D.

Hi Alyssa! Congratulations!
two thoughts of what I wish Id done:
1) I love how my friend took pictures of herself each month in the same place with a black leotard and you could see her tummy grow. I know the kids would get a big kick seeing themselves grow this way in mamas tummy.
2)I know I asked this question, and no one would be so bold to answer, but I coulda used it: For the childs sake - what might be a more advantageous birthday time? Had I conceived later than thanksgiving - a couple months later perhaps ideally - I wouldnt have had my same guy who I wouldnt trade for the world. But for a first child who might tend to be more academically advanced than socially advanced, I would be inclined to wish on a first child a schoolyear timeframe birthday, which would begin at the earliest late september, better a month or two more. I wouldnt make a huge deal of it, and in our case, putting off conception assuming we have all the time in the world isnt good, but Id mention its worth giving a little weight to the school year birthday thing for the first child.

Hi, A. -
It is a really exciting time for you. Congratulations. I don't have a lot of advice for you, but maybe just a couple of things. Start working now on getting yourself as fit and healthy as you can before you get pregnant. It will really help. Are there projects you want to finish around your house? Finish them now. Get things cleaned up, cleared out and organized in whatever way you can. With a baby comes a LOT of gear. You're going to need room, and for things to be orderly. When it comes closer to your due date, make some meals in advance and put them
in the freezer. Most important of all? Enjoy your pregnancy, every minute of it. You'll have good days and bad, but every day brings you closer to meeting your little miracle.
Good luck.

Take pre-natals,have a healty diet and don't over exercise. If you don't get pregnant as soon as you'd planned, try not to stress over it. Stress can only make harder on your body. I would tell a friend to take it easy and to just enjoy the changes in their body. Even if its morning sickness. Good Luck.
And P.S. Find a really good photogropher to take your pregnant pictures. They look so cute!

A.,

You have lots of great responses and it was a great question to ask. I had given up hope of a child, so my daughter was a surpise/miracle three years ago.

Pre-natals as so many suggest. I was a little queasy and my doctor suggested tums and that add calcium to my diet and gave me great nails during my pregancy.

I regret not knowing about pregancy portraits. I've seen some incredible/romantic portraits that show off big tummies. I have only one picture that even shows me pregnant. Regret hiding from cameras and also not having a picture of my husband's hand on my tummy.

Enjoy the time with your husband now. Before she arrived I had great plans of leaving my daughter with my mother so my husband and I would still travel. Currently on my second trip w/o out her (1st was work, 2nd was ill family member). I can't imagine leaving her home by choice.

We named her when I was 4 months pregnant...I knew at gut level her name early on. I loved talking to her and using her name.

The list is endless for all...so many things that worked great and other ideas we wished we had known "then."

Wishing you an easy pregancy and a happy health child.

D

Here is my (our) list in no particular order. yes I did enlist the hubby on this one.

1. Bought more 2nd hand items, looking back we spent way too much $$ on getting so much New the first year.

2. Saved more $$. it is amazing how much "extra" money you have before you have kids. Figure out how much $ you will be spending on clothes, diapers, food, child care, and the loss of your income if you are working now, and live off that now. put the rest in the bank.

3. We wish we would have dated more before and while I was pregnant. Should have watched less tv. We watched alot after the twins were born and by then it was all reruns.

4. Taken more pictures!

5. Should have made more meals in advance and froze them. But we did have a meal plan that helped both of to ensure that we eat somewhat healthy and convenient.

6. Clean out the house, before you get prego. Depending on your pregancy, that may not be soemthing you can do. I couldn't, simply for all day sickness as we call it. Everytime I put my head down even to read a book I was sick. You will need room for the babies stuff.

7. Rechargeable batteries are a god send. really.

8. Take some vacations or mini vacations to where ever you really want to go. Hawaii, New York etc.

9. Enjoy the couple time

10. The one thing we did that I would never change is we knew we would be moving out of state after our twins were born, so as soon as I was on medical leave, my hubby quit his job and stayed home with me. We moved with the babies were 6 weeks old and he went back to work then. This allowed both of us the time to really enjoy eachother and the babies.

Good Luck and Enjoy your sleep now!

Hi A.,

The 'one-chocolate-a-day = happy baby" is *true*

also, I'm so glad I walked a lot: the payoff after the babies was huge.

enjoy!
T

If you don't exercise already, start now! I didn't exercise before pregnancy because I was always slim and I didn't really excerise during pregnancy. Now, afterward, I'm having a hard time shedding those last 10 pounds because I'm not disciplined enough to exercise! Definitely start the folic acid and prenatal vitamins now. Take weekly belly pictures and try to do them someplace fun...like if you're on vacation or go hiking, etc. I didn't start until the 3rd trimester and I wish I had done it from the very beginning. I also always did them at home so they were usually after work and I just look tired. My friend did her pics whenever she was out someplace fun and she has such a great collection to share with her son! I also wish I would have done professional pictures...I'm not big on the belly casts...what do you do with them afterward??? Oh, buy diapers each time you go to the store. You will only need the swaddlers for probably a month tops and you get at least one pack from the hospital...so I wouldn't worry about getting those. Size three seem to be the longest lasting size so far. Don't buy them from Target though...they won't take them back after 90 days so if you need to exchange them after baby is born you're kinda stuck!! Let's see...not to get too personal, but if you and your spouse are up for it...do perineal massage. You can google it and see what I'm talking about...it helps with delivery. Oh and start stretching. Once your body starts producing relaxin you'll be nice and limber, but after baby, muscles get tightened back up. During pregnancy, seriously, relax. Take your time. Don't stress about getting stuff done. Just enjoy it. Assuming you have a normal pregnancy, you'll mourn it for a bit after delivery. Being pregnant is such a special time...I'd be pregnant all the time! I loved it! I also rented a fetal doppler and listened to the baby's heartbeat everyday..that was awesome. If you plan on breastfeeding you might try taking a breastfeeding class...you don't have to do a really expensive fancy one, but you'll learn some good info. Early on decide who you want in the delivery room. You'd be surprised who starts asking if they can be there....be firm about your wishes and don't feel bad about it! I also had a birthing plan that I gave the nurses and told them I was very serious about following it. I also made sure my husband and mom each had a copy and I had my Dr sign it so that the nurses saw that he was onboard, too. I also devised code words for the two people I thought might drive me nuts...so my hubby knew if I started talking about raisins or blueberries it was time to kick someone out :) Okay...this is really too long. I loved being pregnant. Every second of it. Rest and enjoy the feeling of your baby inside you. It is absolutely amazing. Oh and make sure you are well educated on the various pain meds you might be offered...I'm all for the epidural or natural...the other drugs can have some pretty awful side effects...and when delivery comes, you might ask them to let you labor down. That way you don't push as long...last one, make sure you really really like your OB and feel completely comfortable with him/her. It can make a world of difference during delivery. Sorry for the long post :) Good luck...A.

Exciting times! If you are planning on nursing your baby, I strongly suggest that you read up on the subject and take a breastfeeding class once you are pregnant. Breastfeeding is a big challenge (more than I realized the first time around), especially the first month after the baby is born. Get as much info. and advice from others as you possibly can. Although breastfeeding can be extremely difficult and painful at first, it is all worth it. You will never have regrets for doing it. Good luck A.!

I wish I had taken more calcium then the doctor recommended

I plan on getting preg again too.
I am going to buy some special belly wrap/blouse cloth to protect against microwave and electronic radiation from cell phones wi fi and the like. Of course I will not be using a cell phone at all. No cordless either.
I also plan to eat stuff with Xylitol (toward the end of pregnancy) and get more vitamin D (sun) to help so my next child might have better dental health than my first (I hope!)
I hope to buy better pre natal supplements. I understand that New Zealand has much more stringent standards the here in the USA. I am considering purchasing products from there.
No non-stick pans to cook in and as little canned food as I can manage. (no BPA)
Cool preg photos are fun..you can pro or do yourself. I remember how busy it is after the birth (with the baby)...try to get a lot lot of little annoying stuff out of the way...or plan to ignore it. Stock up on baby things so you don't run out and have to make shopping runs.
I wish I had had more breastfeeding support lined up...in retrospect. Things might be easier the second time around, but each baby is different, so I'd probably have a lactation consult phone number ready should I need it.
There is a lot to consider! Good luck!

lots of folic acid, prenatal vitamins while you are trying, no drugs, try to avoid antibiotics, exercise if you arleady arent begin an new routine. my duaghter in law had a plaster cast of her belly each month and she painted and decorated them and displayed them at her baby shower.

Get maternity photos taken. I'm a photographer with a few photographer friends. My friend (who is a male and doesn't specialize in maternity portraits) took some of me and the turned out horrible. At the time I didn't know anyone who took them and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I didn't get them retaken. I really wish I would have!!! After having my son, I started my own photography business on the side and I take maternity photos. I want to make sure my clients have a special treasured memory of their prenancy! It is the only time in your life when you will feel so fat and yet so beautiful!
You can check out some of my work at www.elhicksphotography.com
Even if you don't hire me as your photographer, make sure you find somebody experienced with maternity photos! There are a lot of us out there and most of us are very affordable. Hire a private photographer and don't go to chain photo studio. You will get much more personalized service and have a more memorable experience!

There is one thing that came to mind for me but it is later in pregnancy. We had 3D/4D ultrasounds done with both my pregnancies. At the time, it was fun and sweet but I did not realize how incredible the experience would be for me until after my daughter was born. After she was born, I noticed her making very distinct faces when she was having certain emotions. When she was tired, she would rub right under her neck. Every time she did it, I had the feeling that I had seen it before but did not realize how for about a week. I finally realized I saw her doing the exact same things in the ultrasounds. I had pictures of the exact same faces before she was born. The idea of getting to know my child before she was even born was amazing to me.
Being a military family, it also gave me the opportunity to share the baby with the family. Both grandma's really loved the pictures and video.
Good luck. Being a mother is quite the journey.

Congrats! And best of all to come!
I have to say you have received some truly amazing responses so far! Kudos to the ladies!
My suggestion - seriously - is to appreciate the sleep you get. And get lots of it! I have 16 month old and I long for the days when I could sleep in on the weekends and get through the night without a reason to wake (crying, coughing or just wondering why it's so quiet). And honestly I know I probably won't truly sleep soundly again until all the kids (hope to have another) are off to college!

Congrats again!

A.,
First, Congrats! I know how exciting it is. We will start TTC for our second in April.
The one thing that I am so happy I did during my first was my belly book. It's actually called "The Belly Book" by Amy K. It's a great way to log your pregnancy. You add a belly photo each week and write a small snip of what's going on. It's enough to make great memories but not so much that it's an overwhelming amount of work. It was like $11 at Target or on Amazon!
Best of Luck to you!!
S.

For sure, make sure you are taking a vitamin with folic acid - but I am sure you know that. For my next one, I am stopping artificial sweetener and medications 1 month before trying to conceive.

During those early days - make sure you are able to rest, rest, rest, and rest some more. Make your life as stress free as possible and try to enjoy the ride. Pregnancy was not a picnic for me the first time around, but I did enjoy the experience anyway. I hope you enjoy it also.

start your vitamins now,and you might want to start "trying" now if you hope to succeed by fall-I had four planned pregnancies and only two took one month trying the others took 4 and 5 months!good luck its so amazing and fun! oh ya and the two best books-The pregnancy journal by A. christine Harris (tells every DAY of pregnancy like when the amniotic sac is the size of a grape!)and A baby is Born (has the greatest real life embryo/fetus pix!)

Hi A.,

After my two I can tell you a couple of things. One is that I was much happier the second time around when I had only my hubby at the hospital with me. It gave us a chance to talk and just be happy waiting for our baby together and he got to hold her when she was born with out anyone else wanting her taking his first moments with her away. Also, in the hopsital, don't be afraid to let the nursery have the baby for a little while here and there because a well rested mommy is a happier mommy. Be prepared for all the emotions that come with pregnancy and after birth. Hormones can do some weird things, so don't be afraid to voice weird thoughts, dreams or feelings to your hubby or a good friend. Postpardem depression can creep up on you and not feel the way you may think it would, so sharing all your thoughts and feelings with help keep it from happening. If you plan to breastfeed, go to a couple of La Leche meetings before hand (not just one, you want to get comfortable with the group of women there). They are happy to answer questions you may have, or you can just listen to the challenges and feelings the breastfeeding moms have, so when you start feeding your baby and something comes up you may have heard the question already or at least know you are not the only one who feels that way. Also, when you need help (which most women do have questions or need help so you will be in the majority not the minority if you do) you will already be comfortable going there and it will be easier. In your last trimester, find a pool you can go to. Nothing relieves the weight of a very prego belly like water. Also buy diapers of all sizes ahead of time and wipes too. Wipes are good for everything, as you will find out as a mom, so keep some in you car and a stock pile of them in the house. I think that is all I have. Good luck! :)

Wow! thanks for asking. The one thing I always say I'd wish I'd done is go back to an old, old-fashioned idea about staying home with a newborn for 40 days, keeping all but the closest of family away for that time. Treasure every moment of that time for bonding and helping this new Little One make the transition into this world. Just think about where they came from. It makes me heart-sick to see babies, sometimes even only hours old, waggled around Wal-mart. Create a Sacred 40- day celebration! - p.s. and read "Confessions of a Slacker Mom" before you get pregnant... or at least very early on. Quick easy, fun read but the lady really makes sense!

Hi A.,
I recommend getting all your unfinished house chores, projects, crafts, cleaning, etc done BEFORE the baby comes. Have that garage sale, get rid of items you dont want/need anymore - out with the old so there is organized room with the new. Get as organized as you can, because if you think it is ok to let it slide and take care of it after the baby because it really isnt that important or not a big deal - it will be a big deal again between 1 and 4 months after the baby. Anything from getting your mail in order to finishing a scrap book you want to do. Rearrange that furniture, paint a room or 2, or get those files in order. ANYTHING that your are putting off - get it done - completed! so everything from baby on is new and in order. I didn't do that and it is the LAST thing i want to do now because all it want to do in BABY! and those unfinished things are constantly nagging at me. Which happens whether one has baby plans or not. If you already have everything in order, you are set to enjoy and play and plan without guilt of 'gee, i should go thru the mail.' (no - my bills arent late. :) )

You know how they say, 'babies grow so fast'? well, Fast in our case was out of newborn clothes in about 3 weeks. He doubled his weight in the first 2 months! So as far as cloths, we had way too many items. He only wore everything like 3 times before he grew out of things. That is how fast it happened. I know every baby grows at different rates, but for the first couple of weeks it was easiest to dress him in side snap t's and a diaper (august). Onsies were fine but i still dont like pulling shirts over his head all the time, like after a blow out, which we still have issues with 6 mos later. ewww - up the back and on the arms and ewww. So basically, for us he was up to the next size anywhere between 6 and 8 weeks at a time. Now at 6 mos he is in 6-9mos or 1 yr depending of the brand. So, save receipts, get gift receipts and swap sizes if needed. (If you will use disposable diapers, go up a diaper size if you have blow outs. That sometimes helps.)

Get your hair (and nails?) done shortly before the baby comes so you dont have to deal with it in the early weeks (months?) of newborn.

I buy my baby's clothes on sale or second hand. The prices for new are too high unless you know they will get use out of it for more than 2 months. Find your baby resale shops in your area and check 'em out regularly.

I try to have only 1 or 2 of an item e.i. bottle, pacifier (to find ones they like - neither of which my boy took), and a handfull of blankets. You can always buy more if you need them, but i now have many things leftover that didnt get used. Luckily i didnt spend a lot of money on them.

Buy used items if you are comfortable with it like bassinet, crib, toys, items that can be cleaned satisfactorily. Or get them new from your registry!

Take prenatals like they all say. Start now. And do all the other things everyone else says. Read, learn, play, enjoy!
Enough from me - blah blah bla....

How exciting!!!!!!
: )

A.,

I would definitly treat yourself to pedicures and pregnancy massages. My back hurt so bad, especially at the end. There is a place called A New You day spa that does prenatal massage for only 40$ and hour. They are great! I always looked so forward to those. I would also tell you to try and exercise. I could never muster up enough energy to do so and 4months later I still have 15lbs to lose.
Another thing I didn't realize was how hard it is to get babies to sleep. I wish I had read up on this more when I was pregnant.
My delivery went pretty smooth. I was only in labor for 11 hours and I pushed for 20 minutes. I did have an epidural and I'll tell you it is the best man-made drug EVER. Thank god for epidurals. Also, any comforts that you can bring to the hospital are great. I brought my own pillow, ipod, etc.
Well, that's about it. Good luck!

S.

I love this question! One thing I did was once I found out I was pregnant, I started buying diapers once a week. I bought them in all sizes and taped the receipt to the diapers, so when the time came I was stocked up and it wasn;t a huge financial strain. I knew I was not going back to work and money would be tight. If you don't already, start exercising. It will be better on your body and you will hopefully lose the weight easier after. Give into cravings when your pregnant, but don't think of it as a nine month pass to eat nothing but ice cream. Don't buy too many gimmickicy baby tools. Most of them are unneccessary and expensive. Start buying clothes at the after season sales for the following year. You can calculate how old your baby would be and buy accordingly. Newborns only need a couple of outfits, the rest is usually just comfy pajama type stuff. My biggest advice is when you take your maternity leave, use that time to rest, watch movies, read, relax, whatever. Treat it as a well-deserved vacation. I spent my two weeks off from work before my first was born, painting, shopping, cleaning and keeping busy. I wish now, I would have just relaxed enjoyed my time.

Oh there are so many things I wish I would have done but let's start with taking pre-preg doing fun things with your husband and maybe video journalling for your baby letting him or her know you are excited for them to come along. Professional pictures while your pregnant (each trimester). Journal in a book throughout your preganancy the conversations you are having with your baby and also add what ever your husband has to say. Like my husband would sing to our daughter in while she was in the womb and funny as this may sound she loved to hear him sing when she came out. He used to carry her and sing to her and she would be as calm as could be. Anyway write it all down for your little one to read some D.. I was so sick during my pregnancy I didn't do much and I wish I had. Best of luck to you and your husband.

I wish I would have researched my care provider options and birthing options more thoroughly. I had an OB who did the standard things, and I ended up with an episiotomy that got infected and caused no end of trouble. I've had 5 more kids with midwives and have never had even a tear with any of them. My first was under 6 lbs, 4 of my others have been 8 1/2 to 10 lbs.

What a great question but keep in mind no one can really prepare you for what's to come (the good or not so good). I wish I would have hired a cleaning service to clean my house from top to bottom (ie; window sills, baseboards, and the usual stuff like floors, bathrooms, etc) before my babies were born. Any maybe even have continued the service for a while afterwards. I took a picture of each of my kids at least once a month during the first year. It's a great way to see how they change. Enjoy! Babies are such a blessing.

Make a belly mold of your beautiful body just before delivery!

I know you wonder what you will do with this years down the road (my girlfriends uses it at parties she turns it upside down and puts chips in the belly and dip in the breasts...it always cracks people up).

I wish I had done it...if only to hold up to myself once in awhile and remember how wonderful it felt to be that size with that miracle inside me!