28 answers

What Do You Think Is Being Implied?

Ok, so I heard a statement being made that really rubbed me the wrong way and I just want to know if I was interpreting wrong.
Let me give a little background: There is a couple who were married while pregnant, we will call them Mary Ellen and Bob. Fast forward a few years and they have a second baby. Now here is the conversation I heard, "Wow the baby looks JUST like Bob, it's amazing how much that baby looks like him! The oldest child really doesn't look like him, and you know, that child doesn't look like Mary Ellen either... wonder who this one looks like? I mean there really isn't any resemblance to Mary Ellen, and doesn't look like Bob at ALL." What do you think is being implied here?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks Ladies! That is all I needed to hear! The statement was said to me about our children by my husband's aunt. Who, by the way, tends to be a trouble maker, and seems to like to cause family drama. The funny thing is that my daughter, our oldest, used to look a LOT like my husband, but as she is growing, she now looks JUST like me. Our son looks like a clone of my husband.
I really wanted to ask because my husband was trying to think of a million different things she could have meant, but none of them fit the tone she was using with me. First impression is that she was saying that my husband isn't the father of our oldest. To be honest she never really "approved" of me, and that was kind of my last straw. I will always be civil to the woman, but I won't go out of my way for her.

Featured Answers

You really had to ask that? Would it have helped if they asked what the milk man looks like?

My mom used to do that with everyone she didn't like....strange people I tell ya.

2 moms found this helpful

Well if they were just saying it didn't look like "Bob" then I would think they were implying it might not be his. But since they're saying it doesn't look like "Bob" OR "Mary Ellen" maybe they think the kid is someone else's. (Or it could be that they're just dumb.) What else could it be?

2 moms found this helpful

I think it's just wondering who the kid looks like (grandma? uncle pete?) since the statement includes not looking like either parent.

2 moms found this helpful

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That Bob is not the father of the first child, naturally. Ah, gossip.

5 moms found this helpful

What's being implied? That they look different. I think you're overanalzying :-)

4 moms found this helpful

My son Greg was a toe-head blonde baby with big blue eyes. My husband and I both have dark hair and dark eyes. My husband is of Russian decent so he has (not a lot) darker/almost olive colored skin.

When we took Greg out - people would ask- "who's side does he resemble?"
Bob responded - "The Mail Man's..." - they said really?!! Does that bother you? Bob said - no. he gets to see him almost every day.

If you put a picture of Greg next to his cousin - they could be brother and sister.

Nicky has black eyes and brown hair and darker skin like his daddy's.

seriously- what does it matter? What is being implied? the kids looks different - did they get the wrong baby? did they adopt her? so what? press on....people will say the darndest things. Sometimes they do it to hurt people...sometimes they make comments and then open mouth, insert foot...other times they are just ignorant...if this is what someone said about YOU and your husband - and you know the child is yours. don't stress over it. let it go.

2 moms found this helpful

Too funny! Some people always want to cause drama.

When my daughter was born, I found out years later, my dad asked if I was sure she was my husband's. We married when she was 15 months old. My husband is black, I am white, but our kids are VERY light skinned. And my middle child is almost hard to tell he is mixed.

Don't let stuff like that get to you :).

2 moms found this helpful

Nothing. I think some one is just making the observation that the child does not look like the parents. My daughter looks like me sister when she was that age. All it means is she looks like my sister.

2 moms found this helpful

Well if they were just saying it didn't look like "Bob" then I would think they were implying it might not be his. But since they're saying it doesn't look like "Bob" OR "Mary Ellen" maybe they think the kid is someone else's. (Or it could be that they're just dumb.) What else could it be?

2 moms found this helpful

I think it's just wondering who the kid looks like (grandma? uncle pete?) since the statement includes not looking like either parent.

2 moms found this helpful

You really had to ask that? Would it have helped if they asked what the milk man looks like?

My mom used to do that with everyone she didn't like....strange people I tell ya.

2 moms found this helpful

Mama's baby! Daddy's maybe.............

2 moms found this helpful

I think they are implying that bob is not the father. But really they should be minding their own business.

1 mom found this helpful

Totally depends.

In my family we're lucky enough to have photographs several generations back. One of my sisters doesn't look like ANYONE, except that she is a DEAD RINGER for my great grandmother's *sister*. Seriously, it's doppleganger freaky. No one else in the family looks like either my great great aunt nor my sister. Same thing happens fairly frequently... a child doesn't look like their parents but looks like another family member.

I'd say something like you heard, meaning the above.

1 mom found this helpful

My friend went through this with her MIL.... her oldest looks EXACTLY like her and her second looks exactly like her husband. The MIL was drunk one night and said " well, at least we KNOW this one is ours" !!

OMG - the lady is apiece of work. I'd mess with the aunt a little..... but that's just me ;)

1 mom found this helpful

I'm a thinking that Bob might not be the daddy, or at least that's what the people talking are thinking. We joke about this with my husband's father, he looks nothing like his father and nothing like his mother. We know that Grandma was on her way to her 2nd husband, yet he looks nothing like him either. Unless their talking about your kids or niece/nephew, I'd try and let it go.

1 mom found this helpful

I guess it depends on who is saying it. To be honest neither one of my kids looked like my husband at all until they got a little older- but I didnt really worry about it sometime kids dont look like thier parents my parents both have brown hair and brown eyes my brothers are blond hair and green eyed they look like my grandfathers not my parents.

1 mom found this helpful

If the lady has a past history then it's understandable that that would color your interpretation and tone of voice/body language can convey alot too.

At first it did sound like a paternaty slam, but when she goes on to say that the baby doesn't look like the mom either, -- then i chalk it up to just dumb dumbness.

I"m assuming she saw, the mom ( you :) ) while pregnant, I'm assuming she doesn't enough crime TV to think you stole the baby. So it's silly to think you aren't the mom, of both and if the new baby looks like Dad (hee hee is daddy a baldy head, snicker snicker) then...
Right??? am i understanding the first comment was how much the baby does look like dad? and the oldest doesn't look like either of you,
Actually i am getting confused --Did she turn around and say the baby doesn't look lilke either of you aswell???

If she said this verbatim then, she's just screwy. I could let that all go,

What would bug me would be if she didn't think both of them were the most beautiful angels in the world. I'd be down right pissy about that.

1 mom found this helpful

Rude implications. But it is amazing what people say about who babies look like, really. And they don't always mean that there was hanky-panky going on. My older son's hair changed colors several times in the first couple of months (except for black). My MIL asked where the red hair on his temples came from, the mailman?

She wasn't saying that I had been unfaithful. I asked my mom if there was any red hair in our family. She told me yes, that there was! So I went back and told my MIL who in the family had it. A few weeks later, that red fell out and never came back. LOL!

Anyway, only you know the people involved, the way they are, and the way they said it. We can't tell you whether or not this was said rudely or not.

D.

1 mom found this helpful

I think what is being implied, is that the baby doesn't look like Bob or Mary Ellen. The baby looks like the baby. Everyone used to say, that our youngest didn't look anything like me, or my husband. My mom started saying "he looks like Aaron" (my son's name). If you are referring to someone saying that about one of your children, I'm sure no harm was meant to be done.

1 mom found this helpful

Depends on the kind of person who said it. If the statements are true and the kids really don't look like their parents, maybe the person just finds it curious, but isn't implying anything. On the other hand, if this person has a history of stirring-up trouble, then it is likely their way of suggesting that Bob may not be the father.

(My son doesn't look like me or my husband. It just happens sometimes.)

1 mom found this helpful

They could mean that maybe the child looks like grand parent, parent's sibling etc......
doesn't necessarily mean they are questioning the father is real.

1 mom found this helpful

my oldest has red hair and although both my husband and I have red headed cousins, neither of us or our siblings have red hair- I ALWAYS got the "what does the milkman look like" comment. haha- not really funny the first couple times, let alone the next hundred. But people comments on looks because that is what they see. She might have been implying or just commenting rudely. don't let it bother you- you don't have to answer to her or anyone else.
I aways just laughed it off and after a couple of years the comments stopped(for the most part!)
~C.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm in agreement with Anonymous. It really does depend on who is asking. There may be nothing implied but there may be something implied. If something is being implied it may be that this child doesn't belong to either parent.

1 mom found this helpful

I constantly hear comments like that about my second. He has blonde hair and blue eyes and is built like a line backer - he just basically doesn't look like he fits in the family of brunettes, brown eyes, and petite builds.

For some reason that I don't quite understand, people like to equate childrens' looks with parents. It's just a comment of people trying to categorize the children's looks and noticing that they don't quite fit.

1 mom found this helpful

I think you know what is being implied here, but I guess I will relate my own story. I was married and had two sons. We are Irish/German descent. Married a Spanish man. Now, my first son coincedently has hair almost the same color as my husband, similar bone structure, and has been thought to be biological dad, whereas my younger son has red hair is built different and people used to cattily ask 'where did you find this little Irishman?" So, the point is all families are different and we have fun when people start wondering. As it is myself and my husband couldn't have any children together so we definitely are a very real family.And you probably are right. It's the plumbers son. As for the baby looking like Bob, well babies all look the same at first and as you said change all over the years. Right now my redhead has a beard that looks just like mine.

1 mom found this helpful

Ugh. Reminds me of what people say about our middle daughter. She has blue eyes and blonde hair and our other 2 kids have dark blonde hair and brown eyes. It especially bothers me when my MIL says, "I'm sorry, but she just looks nothing like your other two." Absolutely bothers me.

1 mom found this helpful

Yeah, as far as I can see this is a "Duh" kind of question.

I think you are looking way too deep in the conversation and no the conversion does not apply that the child is a "bastard child". I think you need not to be so nosey is other people's conversation.

I'm late on this but.....I doubt anything is meant by that comment! Wouldn't think anything of it! They are just saying the child looks nothing like the mother or father. period.

Who cares? Dont waste any energy trying to figure out what some stupid person is "implying".

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