What Age Pre-school? 2, 2 1/2, 3?????? - Key Biscayne,FL

IF I send my daughter to preschool, she will go at 4. I think it is ridiculous that we are sending our children to school at such a young age. They need free play, that is how they discover and learn and maintain their curiosity. Learning needs to be self-directed, a natural result of interest and curiosity, and most institutional settings just cannot provide the necessary requirements to make this the case. In fact, I think many schools do a good job of killing any love of learning a child might have had.

I know a lot of my friends are sending their kids for the social aspects, but I don't buy the argument. With playgroups, and other available classes, tots can see other kids every day, if mom so wishes. My daughter sees other kids every day, and I use the money I save by her not going to preschool to do music, swim, and to buy memberships to museums.

During graduate school, I took a class on language acquisition. The kids that followed mom around (no matter the mom's socioeconomic status) learned more. You just cannot beat one-on-one dialoging. It is the most important factor for learning. In fact, study after study shows that class size is the most important factor in outcomes. Some explain this as being the result of the teacher's better ability to match stimulus (instruction) to interest. The only schools worth anything at the younger ages follow a child-center approach. This means that there would be very little "circle" time and the like, because the children are going to be at a very different places. Some of the kids in the room, for instance, already know their letters and what to learn phonics instead, etc.

I personally think people are sending their 2 year olds to school (who would have thought!?!?!?!?!?!?!) because (1) they want ME time, and (2) peer pressure. "Oh my god, so and so's kid is going to be ahead of mine!"

Like I said, if my daughter goes, she will be 4. I think we may just skip the whole thing and go to the Zoo instead. I know I am the best teacher my daughter can have at this point in her life, and there is no way I am entrusting the most important time period in her schooling to others. If I could send her to the Lab School (John Dewey's school in Chicago), or some school with instructors whose education match my own, I might think about sending her, but really, at the end of the day, I am the best teacher she can have, and like I said, one-on-one dialoging is the best educational device for young children.

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my kids both started at 3 with preschool.. they went to a playtime type place once a week when they were 2. They are in school for so long.. I didn't want to push it.... even when they went to the 4 year old class.. i still did half days... because they will be going all day for so long.. my son is now 14 and does great. My daughter is 11 and she is in all excellerated classes... I think pre school helped.. but they also loved to learn. How many days did you sign him up for... do you think he is ready? Is it a playtime type school at this age? You have to make the decision... and then see if he or she likes its. good luck

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My daughter is starting preschool right after Labor Day for one day a week for two hours and she will be 30 months. I am a SAHM so I don't need it for child care, I am strictly doing it for the social aspect. I am a L. worried on how she will be without me. She has never been on her own without anyone she knows and she is very uncomfortable around people she has never met. Luckily, the school is month to month, so after giving it a chance, if she is not doing well, I will take her out and enroll her next fall.

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If you have a great babysitter as you say, I wouldn't go to pre-school. You don't need it and there is no better place for your child at an early age than with you (or with your babysitter that you know and trust). You have plenty of time to institutionalize your child. I wouldn't start at 2 unless I absolutely had to. Your child is not going to learn anything now that they won't later. Studies show that children who spend their formative years in a healthy, nurturing environment, as opposed to being just another kid for a tired overworked daycare provider (who, if she doesn't take a shine to your child, will probably just ignore her) will do better. There isn't any academic advantage. I am sure you socialize your child. So I would rather have her home than under someone's care that I don't know, and who has no vested interest in her.
Good luck with your decision. I know it's not an easy one!

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There was a Montessori preschool who's requirement at the time was you could start as soon as your child was potty trained. For my son, this was 3 1/2. When my son was in Kindergarten there (that was the oldest grade they taught), they began a early childhood development program where they took children from toddler through potty training. When my son was 3 1/2, besides being potty trained, he was ready for a different kind of learning program than what was available at his original daycare. The Montessori preschool was an excellent transition between a daycare setting and a classroom. I only wish they taught up through the elementary grades - I would have kept him there as long as I could. I work full time. My son went to day care 5 days a week, so when we started preschool, it was for 5 days a week.

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My daughter went to PreK 3 at age 3. Since my daughter is an only child (for now) we needed to get her around kids to see it is not all about her. I also work very part time so my daughter went 2 times a week just in the morning while I did work (doing the same for PreK 4 this year).

Personally I think at age 2 I would use a babysitter, since you have a great one, and maybe go at age 3 where she can start to understand it is not all about her.

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I am an early childhood educator/developmentalist. It is best to keep your child at home with you or with your caregiver at least till 4 years of age. If your child has a nice relationship with your caregiver then keep it going. Have her bring your LO out to the park and classes, playdates for socialization. That is the most important part. I have read several studies indicating that children in day care from early on have a much higher percentage of ADHD by the time they get to 3rd grade. Babies/toddlers should not be in group care where they cannot blossom with language and their needs not be addressed on an as needed basis. Pre-schools push academics and make children very left brained leaving them with a brain imbalance that never quite straightens out. ALso remember that at 2 your LO will be sick much of the time meaning stuffy ears that can cause future auditory processing problems in school later on. It doesn't add up in my book. I work with too many delayed children who were "stuffy" for the first few years of life and they are paying for it now. Please consider my suggestions. Thank You.

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Studies show that kids that go to pre-shool at age 2 and kids that start pre-school at age 4 show no difference by 3rd grade.

So, long story short - it doesn't matter if you send him or not in the long run.

That said, I'm sending my son (2) to pre-school in the fall. It's 2 days a week/2 hours a day.

Some of my reasons:
Social aspect - sure he plays with other kids at playdates, but he always knows Mom. I do think he'll act differently without me there. He'll learn independence in a differnt way.

Building up to full day K - We have full day K in my area. He'll do 2 hours 2 days a week this year, 3 half days next year and a full week of half days at 4. I think we both need the build up of separation rather than just "tossing" him in at 4.

I'm sending him when I think he'll be the most receptive. I think if I kept him home with me full time for another year it'd be harder for him to go.

More quality time - I don't look at it as missing out on time with my son. As you know, things can take a lot longer with a 2 year old around. I can probably get to the grocery store and get a fair bit of cleaning done while he's in school. I don't look at it as less time with my son, I look at it as more QUALITY time with him.

Good luck with your decision!

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For me, I couldn't send my daughter to school and she is just about 2 1/2. She is WAY to advanced for her age. i don't push her learning anything, but she can count up to 20, can count items up to 13, knows her abc's, can recognize the majority of the alphabet as well. She is learning to recognize her numbers. Not to mention she knows her colors and shapes and so much other stuff. And that is just from our normal everyday playing and reading, that she has learned everything.

If i were to put my daughter in school early it would be for only one reason. That would be if she was too clingy, and i needed her to learn to be around others and trust others. My niece is 3 and enrolled in a preschool program at a local park district, so it's more play time than learning time, and it's so she can learn to be away from her mom. She is extremely clingy, and this has helped her to learn to trust others, and be around others. but she is only there 2 days a week for an hour at a time.

I agree with the other poster about taking the money and spending it on memberships to other places, zoos and muesuems, and let him be a kid as long as possible. I plan on getting a membership to the kids musesum as that's my daught'ers FAVORITE place to go and play. And it's SOOOO educational as well for kids, but they learn in their own way and time.

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Good Friday Morn', Jilly!

No references here except of my own, I sent my oldest @age three to the local preschool & luckily it was a wonderful decision. I was working full time for my family business a scant three blocks away so with the proximity and the bright, happy faces @ the school I was less worried than I thought I would be. She blossomed, began learning & speaking spanish almost immediately, being my first she was already recognizing words in her story books and knew basic numbers and could count a little. At the day care she zoomed into larger words and bigger vocabulary and was happy socially in having other kidz to play with every day. It was a good choice. In later yrs. I experienced both bad & good preschools, when they were bad I simply pulled the kidz out & when they were good my workday zoomed by. I sent my girlz at different ages as my life went into different directions, the youngest was @ 9months and I never regretted any of it, just missed out some 'growing times' with them. I think you will know in your gut & your heart when the place & time is right for you as a Mom & an individual and your son will tell you by actions & words if this is the right thing for him.

Best to you in your educational endeavor, A.

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I think sending him to preschool for a few hours a day, 2-3 days a week is a great idea. My son is almost 2 1/2 and I am going to put him in for 2 days a week in the fall. Children learn lots of different ways and the more experiences you give them the better they will learn. There are so many skills that are important when they are away from their moms such as following directions from others, learning to be away from parents comfortably, following social cues from other adults as well as peers, having new demands placed on them, ect. I personally don't think a child should be in school full time at that age but I have lots of friends who have had their child in quality daycare from a few months old and those kids are thriving and doing well.

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I have my 2 1/2 signed up for the fall. She has an 8 yo old sister and misses her so much while she is in school. She will really like the play mates. Getting around kids her own age will be great to learn some social skills. I am not excepting her to learn ABC's. It is play time, for such a short time, 2 days a week for 2 hours.

Working in the classroom for my old one, you can tell which kids went to preschool, or some like it. It really helps with making friends and feeling comfortable in the classroom. Parents can teach the ABC's, not the social skills. 2, 3, even 4 doesn't make a difference, not all does. .

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My son didn't go to Preschool until he was 4. He wasn't behind any of the other kids when he started and some of them had been in PreK since 2. He starts Kindergarten in 2 weeks and can already read. I don't the age is so much of an issue as the quality of the PreK. My son's prek teacher was a licensed teacher and she was great!
My family regularly attends church so my 4 kids have interaction with other kids 3 times a week...for free!

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Hi Jilly,
First let me say that I also am a professor at a local University and when my son was @ 2 I was thinking the same things as you- is it better for him to be in preschool for social interaction and development? I spoke to many of my friends and prayed about it and decided to keep him home with me. I feel it was the right decision. My friends whos kids were in preschool came with with attitudes and discipline issues and were worse off. At their age kids need and want to be with their parents, kids don't become social until close to 4 years old (meaning they play next to not with other children)
My son know almost 4 is very smart and he gets his "social interaction" in sunday school and youth group at church. I also have a 2 yr old dughter and I have now decided to home school them for a while. If you are blessed to spend your days with your children- do it; you only have them for a short while.

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We are enrolling our son into a pre-school next month. My husband and I both work full time. We have a nanny at home. Our son will be going for 2 days per week only for 4 hours. We wanted him to get more interaction with other kids and also develop other social skills. Our plan is to put him only for 2 months and see what happens. You can do the same. You can have a trial period and decide on what to do next. Good Luck

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It is a tough decision! I was finally ready for my daughter to start preK at 3. When I dropped her off and came home I felt so guilty for doing that to her. What kind of mom was I??? After two weeks she was constantly talking about her friends and walking in with out a second look. She loved school by the end of the year and can't wait to go back. My main reason for starting her was for socialization and learning how to listen to a teacher.

This year she will be in pre K 4. My son will be in the two year old class. I'm not ready to put him in at this age, but I have to because I will be an assistant teacher at the school. My school loans are due so I have no choice. However, I have seen how the 2 yr olds love the class so I have no doubt he will end up really enjoying and will meet some new kids. Most of his friends are my daughter's friends.

You will know when you are ready and your child is ready. It won't be easy in the beginning, but after both of you are used to it you will be amazed at all the things they learn and all the friendships they make. Not to mention I have made some of the best friends anyone could ask for at the school.

So if you really like the school and so does your child, then everything will be okay. Good luck!!!

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My daughter started pre-school at 2.5 yr- she is now 3.5. Wanted to start at 2, but couldn't get her into the school we wanted. She will go full time in the fall

She LOVES it!!! One of the reasons we did it, was we couldn't keep her mentally stimulated enough. She is also high energy.

This is with me having a doctorate degree & my husband a bachelors degree. so we are NOT dummies.

I also work full time & my husband is ill. so it gives him a break while I am at work.

She loves all of her classmates. Of course there is always one troublemaker/or kid who just gets into trouble. I have to be creative on days she doesn't go to school- "it's a daddy- Lela day" or "Lela- Grandma day" etc.

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