What Age Is a Good Age?

Hi J.,

With my oldest, she started to realized there was not Santa the year she noticed that the wrapping paper was the same as the paper from me. I told her that because Santa has so many children in the world, I was helping out with the wrapping. She bought it for about another year or two.

My 9 year old is starting to get suspicious and I will let her figure it out on her own like her sister did. It is fun for them. I say, let them grow out of it on their own.

Hi J.,

You could just talk with them, carefully. Letting the know the spirit in which these myths are handed down from generation to generation. If you suspect that they're "faking it" to get goodies, make sure they know the goodies will still be coming from "Santa" and the "Easter Bunny"... With a wink and nod with your bond with your slightly more grown up daughters will increase. Then, get them in on the fun. If there are any younger cousins, close friends with young children, etc. That way, they'll feel very mature to know what the little ones don't know.

Let us know how this goes for you and the girls.

Cindythenurse

My son is 11, almost 12 in a couple of months and he still believes in Santa and the tooth fairy. He was just saying the other day, that he doesn't think he believes in the Easter bunny because he sees the family hiding eggs, etc. I personally don't understand how he can still believe in the other things, but not the bunny. I did tell him that just because there is no bunny, doesn't mean that he won't get any gifts like candy, baskets, etc., that these things are now actually from his loved ones. I did mention that he might want to think about what I said about the Easter bunny and that it just might be the same for Santa, etc. My own father told me that I shouldn't say anything about Santa, tooth fairy, etc. not being real and just let him be a kid and enjoy his childhood. They are kids for just a short time, so let them have fun! I personally don't think that my son is playing us. He is still very innocent. I agree with what my dad said and I know that eventually, he will outgrow and realize it on his own. My only concern is that he may say something at school and get teased.

I found out the truth about Santa when I was about 6. One of my uncles would dress up and come into the house passing out gifts. Me and my many cousins would wait at a window to see his selgh fly pass. My one cousin who is 6 months younger then me told me there was no such thing as Santa and he made me so mad I pushed him into a closet door, knocking the wind out of him. I ran to my mother in tears and my grandmother got REALLY mad at him for that. (never anger an Itallian grandma LOL) That cousin has a son who is 2 months younger then my son and I had this feeling this past Christmas something might hit the fan.
I told my son that Santa does exisit but not as the fat jolly man we all know and love but Santa is his friends and family who give him gifts because they love him very much and give him things because he has been good. And thats what makes Christmas so speical. The story is just a fairy tale to make little kids laugh and smile. I also told him how important it was not to tell his younger cousin's about this and explained what happen to me and how my feelings were hurt. He is the oldest so he needs to be more responsible. When Easter showed up he asked about the Easter bunny and I told him the same thing. We haven't said anything about the tooth fairy yet only because he just started to lose his baby teeth. Good luck!

So they know...don't you think it's great that at 10 & 12 they still love the thoughts of Santa and the Easter Bunny! I would take that a million times over my girls sitting in front of a computer for hours on end talking to people they don't know! I love that innocense.

It's up to us to make the financial adjustments...really! We tend to spend money on our kids to make up for the meetings or business trips we have in our busy schedules.

I say, let them keep the happy thoughts in their heads as long as you can...and keep the holidays simple!

Good Luck!

S.

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Hi J.,
I am a mom of 7 all grown and now we have grandkids!
(When did that happen???) Anyway, I would suggest cutting back on what you are giving in the name of the bunny and Santa, etc. We did and it worked/works so well!
Their peer group doesn't believe either and we parents love the fun of it so we tend to go a bit overboard.
I would not dispell the myth....they already know.
You and your hubby control your budget so cut back! :-) The first year is hard because you are breaking a habit but it gets easier and you spend more time finding a quality, memorable gift that means something.
You are also setting an example for their adult years now so getting in the habit of setting a reasonable budget for gifts is a good thing.
Our budget is $50 per adult kid and spouse. We kind of spoil the grand kids and do $75. Friends of the adult kid who would be here to share the holiday get a nice $20-$25 gift.
My husband's family (sis, parents, etc) focus on the under 18 group and the rest of us exchange home made goodies, cook books, kitchen stuff, books, etc.
After all the focus for the holidays is getting together with family and enjoying one another. That does not mean "getting" but for kids, it could mean "giving".
Another thing we do at Christmas, we find a needy family. Churches have that information and love the help! We give the kids money, usually $25-$50 depending and involve them in the shopping and wrapping. It is a wonderful experience and we also tell them they are old enough to play Santa for a family who needs the hope and promise of Christmas.
The bunny is easy to cut back on.
It's candy and junky gifts, pardon me!
This Easter my daughter gave her daughter a basket with a kite, a few plastic filled eggs, some "specialty" kind of bubbles and a few little nail polishes. She was thrilled with it and had a blast with everything. Her dad took her to the park and they tried to fly the kite. (No wind) Most important...dad spent time with her. That is the best gift!
They also hid eggs for the kids to find. They know there is not bunny but they had so much fun. We ate the eggs later and the kids had candy and that's it...

I hope this helps in a small way.
good luck~
C.