24 answers

What Age Do You Stop Giving Gifts to Nieces and Nephews?

My family has a tradition of giving gifts (birthday and Christmas) to the 7 grandchildren. Several of the kids are getting older. What age do you stop giving to your nieces and nephews?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I don't think there's an age. I think that if kids send thank yous you should keep "thinking of them". Now if that means a present to you, fine. If it means a card with cash or just a card.

I think especially as kids get older, cash or gift cards are most appreciated.

As far as Christmas goes, have you considered asking the family if they are "game" for a Secret Santa?

2 moms found this helpful

There are 16 kids (and growing) on my husbands side alone. Some have bday parties and some don't. I only give to the kids who have a party. I know this sounds mean. I wish i could give to all, but i can't :(

2 moms found this helpful

My parents have 5 kids and 10 grandkids. For birthdays, we buy gifts, but for Christmas, we draw names. You draw one name for how many kids you have. So, I have 2 kids, so I pull 2 names, my little brother has no kids, so he buys for all of them and my sister has 4 kids, so she pulls 4 names. It works out well and saves a TON of money!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

In our family adults (neices and nephews) stop getting gifts once they have kids. Then the gifts go to their kids.

3 moms found this helpful

Really depends on the closeness of your family I would think.
Reducing the amount is a great way. If they are long lost family members
you hardly spend time with......I think there is an appropiate age to stop. I guess 10 would be the last . My uncle and aunt bought for me long distance til about 10. They just did not know me anymore and a card was enough. I tried to send as many years as I could to long distance family, but they never gave back, so I quit. I just think it depends on the family and how active you are in their lives...

2 moms found this helpful

There are 16 kids (and growing) on my husbands side alone. Some have bday parties and some don't. I only give to the kids who have a party. I know this sounds mean. I wish i could give to all, but i can't :(

2 moms found this helpful

I don't think there's an age. I think that if kids send thank yous you should keep "thinking of them". Now if that means a present to you, fine. If it means a card with cash or just a card.

I think especially as kids get older, cash or gift cards are most appreciated.

As far as Christmas goes, have you considered asking the family if they are "game" for a Secret Santa?

2 moms found this helpful

we only have 6 on my side and two on my hubby's...we only give at christmas to his and b-days and christmas on mine...I figure when they are 18 or out of college will be a good time for b-days but I will give on Christmas for as long as I can, even if it's just a token like an ornament or photo frame etc...

2 moms found this helpful

Well, in MY family, once they are 18 (or in 2 cases, when they've had a baby of their own before age 18). In my husbands family, ALL of the kids get gifts for EVERY child's birthday! Insane! My (husband's) nephew (age 17), and our neice (age 14) both a gift from my MIL on all of my kids' (ages 9, 6, 2 & 8 months) birthdays, and vice versa! My husband and I have stopped buying them birthday gifts and usually give them a card with a gift card or cash. We still get them Christmas gifts, but usually we'll ask them for something specific that they'd like to have because we know that they have their own interests and styles and would rather spend our money on something that they are going to enjoy and use over something that will get tossed.

2 moms found this helpful

when our family got too big (22 grandchildren, 14 greats, 2 great greats. lol) we started doing a draw... on thanksgiving we would write everyone's name on a slip of paper and everyone would draw for someone else. We also put a $$ limit on what could be spent. These were the "family party" gifts. If we wanted to get something for someone we didn't draw, that was our business but we had to do it on our own instead of at the party. As for birthdays, my family stopped giving gifts when the person stopped going to school. If they went to college, they still got some. lol. great incentive! :P

2 moms found this helpful

We have a healthy sized family and we do christmas gifts and special occasion gifts like graduation etc. We just call and maybe give a card on the bday. The immediate fam, like mom and dad, do the gifts. Like someone else said, if there is a party then we take a gift, but usually we just do christmas, graduation, showers...stuff like that. I always do a gift to my mom for all occasions bc she is single and I am the only living child she has, but my hubby has four sisters and this is how they have always done things. Keeps things simple and everyone is cool about it, I have never gotten anything from them for a bday and it has never bothered me. :)

1 mom found this helpful

We give presents to all for Christmas and Birthdays, but our family is very small so I guess it doesn't count.
I think it doesn't have to be something big or expensive, is not how much but the thought.
But I guess that when they get married and have kids you could give a presents as a family and keep the presents for the kids only?

1 mom found this helpful

It probably depends on the size and closeness of your family. I have two nieces and two nephews (aged 18-24) and I can't imagine not giving them a gift for their birthdays and Christmas.

1 mom found this helpful

I've got 2 nephews who are 22 years old and they still get a card and $5. I tell them that they can buy a beer and when they get older just remember their Crazy Aunt L. who used to send stupid cards with $5!

1 mom found this helpful

My parents have 5 kids and 10 grandkids. For birthdays, we buy gifts, but for Christmas, we draw names. You draw one name for how many kids you have. So, I have 2 kids, so I pull 2 names, my little brother has no kids, so he buys for all of them and my sister has 4 kids, so she pulls 4 names. It works out well and saves a TON of money!

1 mom found this helpful

My aunts and uncles stopped sending me gifts when I married.

1 mom found this helpful

In our family the birthday gifts stopped as soon as we hit 1st grade because that's when we stopped having family birthday parties and started having kid parties. Only Grandmas and Grandpas continued with the birthday gifts.

The Xmas gifts stopped when we turned 18.

However, a bunch of cousins were all born within 5 years of each other so Xmases got expensive with 10 cousins to buy for! At that point we started drawing names. The little ones all were having huge Xmases at home and didn't need 10 $5 Xmas gifts from cousins, aunts and uncles.

Don't know if that helps! I think it also depends on our economic situation. If you can't afford it then by all means stop. But if you can, gifts are always appreciated!

1 mom found this helpful

When our family got bigger (11 kids), my sister (who was purchasing a house and pregnant with baby #3) called a siblings reunion to talk about this. She explained that her finances didn't allow her to spend her family's money on all her nieces and nephews anymore. The meeting came at the right time. Another sister had just lost her job and our brother was also expecting a new baby.
We agreed that from now on, only the godparents would offer gifts for Christmas. [in our family, aunts and uncles are the godparents] This way the financial burden was lessen for everybody and equally distributed. Each kid gets less gifts but the gifts are of higher value (giving for example 3x$25 instead of 11x$10).
The kids still get plenty of gifts from grand-parents, great-grand-parents, friends, and even some great aunts and uncles and corporations (they live in France where many company/unions offer Christmas gifts for kids)

For the birthday, only the birthday kid get a present, and only if there is a party/celebration of some sort.

And, this will last at least until they turn 18.

1 mom found this helpful

You don't. Adjust them if money is a concern. A $5 fast food gift card is always a nice gesture especially when they are jr high- high school age!

After Sweet 16 LOL.....

in my family we stoped getting gift once we graduated high school

I don't think that gifts should be given just because you feel "obligated"...that isn't the idea of a gift. Why don't you have a family meeting ( amongst the adults...or maybe just the siblings) and explain that with the economy and such that maybe it would be a good idea to start doing a gift drawing...so each adult buys for one adult and each child buys for one child. That way instead of buying some little something for each of a whole group of people you can buy one nice gift for one person. Or how about "family gifts" like a board game or passes to play mini golf?? I bet some of the others are feeling the same way you are and would welcome a chance to be creative and come up with a different way of doing things!!!

We only gave birthday presents when there was a "family" party (generally just 1st and 2nd birthday) and at some point, I can't remember exactly when, we started to do Secret Santa for Christmas. Each child picked a name out of a hat and bought one gift for that child. There are nine grandchildren on my side of the family and three of them are mine, so we buy three presents for nieces/nephews each Christmas (or rather my children do - which means me, since my kids are young).

Of course on my husband's side there are only six grandchildren - three of ours and three of my husband's sister's. So, we buy for all three.

There are also lots of nieces and nephew in our families but my husband isn't close to his so we never had to worry about his side. My one sisters two College age kids I didn't give gifts at all because my niece was far away in College and then moved to France. My nephew went to another College and we just never saw him much. He was just too into his friends. My older brother and his family would go out of the country every X-mas to be with his wifes' family and stay for weeks. So I never bothered with them. Another sister has three grown kids but I would only see my niece and still buy her something not too expensive. Another brother lives up north and we never see him at all so that's that. Another brother lives in VA and has one son but he's too far. I'm the only one with small kids plus a 21 yo and 17yo from previous marriage but my kids all get gifts. If you're not that close with your nieces and nephews and they are out of HS, they don't need gifts unless ur loaded with money! My family doesn't sweat it if someone did not get a gift, we're cool like that! ;)

I give every year. I have 2 nieces (17 and 10) and one nephew (20) and I give "something" to them every year.

I don't give them allot, but I'll take them out to eat, get them a small gift certificate, send them a card with some cash ($10 or $20) and some years I simply go see them and take them to the movies.

I will continue to give gifts to them on their birthday til they are grown I suppose...or I forget (which I did last year with my youngest niece)...lol

Good luck to you.

After they graduate high school or college.

In our family it totally depends on what you can do. My kids are happiest if their aunts and uncles come over to play with the for an hour versus getting a toy that will end up in the pile of other toys. And my niece and goddaughter just turned 1, but my husband is out of work...so we were not able to get her a gift on her bday. We came into some extra money (not much) so we got her a decent gift, but it had to wait. I think everyone understands...but I kind of think the same as another poster. Once people have kids, the gifts that would have gone to now adults would go to their kids.

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