What Age Do You Consider to Be Old?

Updated on December 16, 2014
M.G. asks from Flower Mound, TX
44 answers

Lately, a few people told me my youth is over. I will be 43 next month. I know I'm not a spring chicken, but I also know I'm not old! At almost 43, I do not feel like my youth is already behind me. I was surprised to hear people say that. So my question is, at what age do you consider to be old (or that your youth is behind you)? I still feel young. Thanks.

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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

My sweet father in law says when you don't know anyone 10 years older than you are you're old. He is now 87 and doesn't know anyone older than he is. We ate lunch together a couple of weeks ago. He told me he guessed he was old. I laughed and told him I hoped I was able to live my life as well as he has.

I've seen some 30 year olds who are old and some 70 year olds you would never know were 70. It's a state of mind and attitude.

Blessings!
L.

9 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

I am old. I wear it like a badge. What's wrong with old?
Seriously, I'm 45. Some days I feel very old. Some days I feel very young. My hair is graying and I'm tired. I work hard and play hard.
What difference does it make - my kids think I'm old, my parents think I'm young. But I will be happy to be considered "old." You seem to think it's a bad thing. I don't consider myself young or old.

6 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

You can feel young but you are middle aged, sorry. I am 46, I still feel young, act young, some say look young but I am middle aged, to say otherwise is silly.

You aren't young, you aren't old, you are middle aged.

My grandma lived to 103, she was old.

5 moms found this helpful

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

You're old when you're dead.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sorry. You're middle aged. As am I. Believe me. I've watched my friends date with kids after divorce. It's not a romantic comedy. I wish you the very best working on your marriage for all of your best interests.

7 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

hee! every new decade i hit i push it back<G>.
when i turned 30 i flopped on the couch and sulked.
when i turned 40 i exulted in my powah!
when i turned 50 it was kind of a jolt.
i'm 55 now, and while i don't feel old, i can't say that i still feel young. i guess i feel what i am- upper middle age.
and like all crones, when i hear a 40-ish young 'un bemoaning her lost youth, i shake a hag finger at her and tell her she's a spring chicken.
:) khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful

F.W.

answers from Danville on

A few years ago, I realized that the number of years I had lived were *more* than the number of years I probably had before me.

A humbling thought in many regards, and one that makes me grateful for each day!

I remember MY grandmother telling me when she was in her 8o's that she did not 'feel' old! Perhaps that is because she golfed, did yoga, played bridge, and socialized regularly!

My hope is to be like her. Take joy in each day! Not one of us...no matter their age...is guaranteed tomorrow!

Merry merry!

PS

When people 'ask' my age, I still say (and have for years) that I am 'the same age as my tongue...and a little older than my teeth'!

Can you name the seasonal movie that had that line???

5 moms found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm 57 - you're not old.

At this point in time, I'm thinking 80 is "old." Maybe I'll adjust that number in a decade or so.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

Your middle aged you can be youthful in mindset and energy or old in mindset or energy but technically you are middle aged.

I'm assuming your referring to the responses to your last post. Proclaiming that you don't want to waste your youth when your in your 40 ' s.....I thought perhaps you had made a type - o on your age.

Ciao!

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

You're middle aged. That does not mean you're old. In another 43 years, you will be 86. Then you're in old age. You may still have a young mind then too, and maybe a spry healthy body if you're fortunate. My grandmother is in her 90s and about to go on a cruise with "the ladies". :-)

The problem when "I do not feel like my youth is already behind me." is that you're not talking about your physical abilities, sharp intelligence, or enjoying your interests.

You were talking about the possibility about upending your life, and that of your husband and kids because you're bored and frustrated, and wondering if the grass was greener. Given your responsibilities and obligations, it is not a healthy mindset to be in. The time for doing what you want without putting others first is in the past, but that doesn't mean you're on a downslide to Crypt Keeper. It means that for right now, you have a role to play.

My kids are older than yours. I will be 43 when the youngest turns 18. While I enjoy family and kid related activities, trips, etc. I'm also excited about the possibility of doing things with just my husband without having to worry making kid-arrangements.

Instead of looking backwards and missing your literal youth, look forward and think about what you want to do when your kids are grown.

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M.P.

answers from Grand Forks on

These responses are cute and I like your question. I'm a caseworker for elderly/disabled clients. Anytime we receive a referral for a client under age 75 we call them young. My dad's 65 and he calls himself old....but I have a very alert client who is 104, still lives at home....what do ya say now Dad? Lol....working in this field makes me feel young (35), but I'm not young per se. It's all relative like someone else said.
I just had to respond bc I run across this everyday.

Personally I think we all look pretty much the same till about 40....then it changes but my 40's friends at work are still hot/gorgeous so I'm not dreading my 40's at all. I'll take my wisdom now waaaaay over my tighter 22yr old body yknow?! Lol

4 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

Its funny because the older I get the higher the age goes on what I think is old. When I was a kid I thought my parents were old although they were in the 30's at the time. Now that I'm in my 50's I think 80 is old. Ask me again when I'm in my 70's and I'm sure I'll have a different answer. lol

4 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I would say 80 is old. That is the age many people start to lose their independence.

I have a friend who is 86. She goes to visit "the old ladies" in the nursing home every Sunday afternoon. I suspect that some of those "old ladies" are younger than she is!

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ignore them!
Age is a number.
How old we "feel" inside? Doesn't really change much.
You're only as old as you feel.
I'm 51.
When someone asks my age, I almost reply "35" or "40" then I think--"wait -- oh...right..." Lol

That said, there's nothing worse than a 50 year old woman trying to pull off a mini skirt, etc., piled on makeup.
That's trying to STAY young.

It's about aging well and aging gracefully. Does that mean don't bother moisturizing, getting hair & nails groomed? Heck no!
Use all weapons in the arsenal! lol That's being the best of your age!

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

In my teens and 20's, I thought 50 + anything was old.

In my 50's, I think 90 is pretty darn up there, and besides, they really do look very old by then.

And I felt fantastic when I was 43!! But after being hit by a car in 2007, my health was seriously compromised, so I don't have the energy and stamina I did at that young age.

People who go through life without serious illness or injury are unbelievably blessed!!

3 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

well you can tell those people to pound sand!! Your 40's are the new 20's!!!

I just got home from the funeral of a 60 year young W. who died of ovarian cancer!!

What do I consider OLD??? 80's...my grandmother died at 95.5 - that's OLD to me...

I see people in their 60's through 80's be-bopping along...I guess age is a state of mind!!

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Old is relative.
Generally anyone 20 or so years older than you is 'old'.
For women - as you get closer to menopause you're considered old.
In the work place - anyone over 50 is old (unless you're above a certain level of management) - they want to fire you because you've built up benefits and pay scale so they can hire a fresh out of college 20 something who'll work for a much cheaper wage scale.
Since I'm in my 50's - I think 70's is old.

Additional:
Felinestroller W. - Miracle on 34th Street - Kris Kringles age on his employment card at Macy's.

3 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I'm not digging this middle age thing either, I'm 44.
I am not old but I am no longer young, I am right in the middle.

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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

I'd say there's at least a 30 year gap between "youth is over" and "old". 43 would be well into that gap, but not even close to old.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I used to think at age 18, half your life was over. Silly.
I used to think 30 was old. Ha ha.
Now, I think 100 is old.
I thank my lucky stars every day when I open my eyes. Phew, I get to
see another day.
I'm just thankful every year that "I get to age". I consider myself lucky &
blessed.
I'll take the grey hairs & wrinkles.
My knees aren't quite what they used to be. They click, it's hard to bend
down but they still get me where I need to be.
I feel 21 inside but my body tells another story. That's okay. I'll take it.
I'm just thrilled to still be on this planet another day. To see my kids. To
experience things. I'll take old any day over the alternative.
Your youth's not behind you. You don't need to be a spring chicken. You
are just fine honey. Enjoy the day, the sunshine, your family, a pretty
rainbow, the birds singing. Just enjoy it!!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Why would anyone say that to you? Are you trying to dress like a twenty year old or hookup with young guys or something? Do you just have mean friends?
43 is middle age. You are in between. Enjoy it, I think this is the best time of life, no longer young and stupid and insecure, still healthy enough to enjoy life.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I remember when I was growing up eighth graders were old.
I am now fifty seven. Don't feel old

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D..

answers from Miami on

Ha ha, ____@____.com! Nice to see you again here! Wait til you're the big 5-0 and then tell us that 50 is old!

Mom, I agree that you must have mean friends if they're telling you that you are old. Or they are very young and you need to teach them a thing or two!

The 40's are NOT old! When you are in your mid-50's, you'll think the 40's were when you were a sping-chicken, LOL!

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I'm sure no one called you old. You're going to extremes. Saying you want to leave your husband so you don't waste your youth when you're 43 is putting things to the other extreme. 43 isn't your youth either. It's middle aged. Just about literally too. Likely you live till somewhere mid-80's so double your age and that's 86 which is a reasonable life expectancy for a woman nowadays. Or it's at the upper end. So means your life is likely at least half over vs it's just beginning or you're in the first third which is what most people consider their youths. I consider actually old to be mid 70's but depends on the person. Some people are old at 60.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It's all relative to your attitude.

My hubby (59) played golf today with a good friend who is 83 and going strong.

Some people on their 40's or younger whine and complain about every ache ir issue. Others just get iver it and move on.

I'm 53. My hubby is completely white haired and appears older. Just last week a couple we met out at happy hour thought I was his daughter. This happens often to us.

I don't wear mini skirts and dress like my 20yr old daughter. I also don't dress like a grumpy old woman who only wears housecoats or sweatsuits all the time.

I get up everyday to shower and dress even if I'm staying home all day. That does my body good... To be fresh, prepared and in shape.

My mom is 72 and is still an athlete like she was in high school. My dad is 74 and still gets up at 3am to go fishing or hunting. My stepdad is 80 and not feeling as great right now but he still has a perfectly manicured yard and garden that he takes great pride in.

So how old is old?? I don't know.... I think it had to do with personal attitude.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

What kind of people say to a person "your youth is over" (?) what a bizarre thing to say.
You are middle aged, like me, 46.
I'm sure when I was a teenager I thought people in their 40's were old, but I know now that's not true, it's right in the middle.
Your attitude towards life and physical health will determine how "old" you feel.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes....your "youth" is over. But you are not "old".

What did these people mean by you are too old? Too old to become an Olympic gymnast? Or too old to have the fantasy of starting life all over again at 43 because you are now unhappy with the choice of man you married and chose to have 3 kids with?

I have a feeling that this was in response to you telling a few gal pals about your desire to divorce your husband and thrust your 3 kids into a broken home all because of your fantasy of finding the perfect man while you are now a more mature and smart woman. Ya know...the I was young and dumb excuse and didn't know how to pick a husband and now I do so I want to start all over and find the man of my dreams.

Listen to your friends. You are 43. Find happiness and peace with what you have right now. Stop the fantasizing of what could have been or what could be. Be a mature and responsible mother, wife and parent. Put all your energy into making the best of the life you have right now.

To answer your question, I think 80- is old because that is when the body drastically starts declining in ability.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Well, when I consider the day I don't have to get up and leave the house at the crack of dawn to go to work every day...I feel young.

When I give thought to wearing thigh high boots, shorts above the thigh, and sheer tops, my youth is looooong gone.

I don't worry about what others say, I just know my limits.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Lori. The older I get, the older "old" is. I do not feel old and do not plan to be old for a LONG time. I am 44.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I'll be 44 in Feb. I had kids later than most people my age, so I gave a hard time remembering how old I am. But in the last year or so I've started to physically feel older. More aches and pains that are probably hereditary. My parents are in their 70s. I don't think of them as old yet.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Turning 40 was nothing. Turning 50 wasn't great but not horrible. Turning 55 was eye opening because now I get a lot of senior discounts...I don't even have gray hair yet.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I will be 60 in 12 days -- I'm not old. I am in better shape than my oldest child, almost 40.

Old is an attitude not an age.
Clint Eastwood is 84 - Chuck Norris is 74 they are both in gret shape. For the women Cher, Dolly Parton, Barbara Walter's, Sally Field are all in their 70's. They are still active healthy and I wish I had Dolly's figure.

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

I get that as well. ( i am going to be 44 on the 21st of this month). I do not feel old, I do not look old so therefore I am not old. haha
Happy early birthday
Many blesssings

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

They were joking. Don't let it bother you; I'm 42 too

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

when you make someone bring you your cane so you can hit them with it..then you are old..until then..you are simply "youth challenged" ..K. h. all this sarcasm and i am older then you..nah nah nah nah

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well, CERTAINLY NOT 43! That's what I am, and I do NOT consider myself old. My mom is 64 and I don't consider her old, either...that woman is healthier than a lot of 30yr olds I know. My grandmother is 90...ok, now maybe I'd consider HER old. But with her daily walks and sharp brain, she's pretty darn "young" too.

I think "old" is all in the mind. If you give up and start saying things like "I'm too old to..." or "I can say what I want because I'm old..." and TRULY think of yourself as old, well then, yeah, you're old. I plan on never being old. Sure, my youth IS behind me, but why would I want to be a youth for my whole life? I love being an adult...a healthy, happy, YOUNG adult!

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

This is about attitude and not chronological.

If you feel great and enjoy life at any age you are young perhaps in heart and mind. Do what you like and be happy. Or you can get up every day and complain about x,y,z and get nowhere.

Women forget that youth is not everything it is how we have been brainwashed to believe that we need all this "stuff" to look young. What happens we grow up and become smart and wonderful people who have succeeded in moving on from our 20s into the best part of our lives. We have experience and know how the world works and can make adjustments to get where we want to go.

I may have mentioned something to you about writing down a bucket list of things to do (not the end of life one just one of things you want to do).
Always remember the only person who can make you happy is you. That is something that a lot of women and men have yet to learn.

I have the Peter Pan Syndrome of not wanting to grow up. I still have the inner child alive within. Yes, I feel a bit different right now recovering from a major surgery and my strength is not what it was. There are many projects that I want to do right now and they take me 4 to 5 times longer than they did before surgery.

As for being or thinking that I am old it would be my MIL's age 94. I will be 67 next week and I don't feel old. I also work at a university and most of the students are younger than my two kids in age some could be my grand children.

But it all goes back to attitude as to whether you are old or young. As others have said you can be young and think old or you could be old and think young.

the other S.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Oldness is a state os mind. You ain't old until you convince yourself you're old, all of this according to m 77 year old mom. She looks 60.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Hmmmm...my parents are 71 and 68. My dad is the younger of the two and just now, I'm starting to see thing that make me think "wow, he's getting old!" Same with my father-in-law, age 72. They're both generally in good health, but there are just some subtle things...a slight tremor in the hand every now and again, really slumpy posture, a bit of effort getting in and out of the car, ear hair that needs to be trimmed, etc. So when someone says "old" I'm thinking that 70 is getting there.

As far as "your youth is behind you," that's probably true! I'm 39 and don't consider myself to be in my youth, I'm approaching the middle years. I figure that the first 20 years are childhood/adolescence, the next 20 would be "youthful" adults, the next 20 (the ones you're in and that I'll soon be) are the middle year, 60 - 80 is aging and 80+ is God Bless Ya Honey!

By your 40's, you're old enough to have grown kids if you started early. Probably own a house, are mid-level in your career if you do paid work, have a long credit history, have paid off your student loans, are earnestly saving towards retirement, have responsibility, experience, have learned a few things and probably have acquired a fair amount of knowledge and perhaps even some wisdom. Doesn't mean that you don't have energy and stamina, can't be in great shape, don't have fun or anything like that, but your years of trial-and-error, of making stupid mistakes and fumbling through life and making it up as you go along are mostly behind you. It's a good thing!

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hahahaha! When I was in my teens my "old" age was 27! I thought, when you are 27 you are getting old! ha!

Everything is relative. Now I'm 39 and have little aches and pains I've never had before but don't feel old. I feel like I have lots of energy and I'm still wearing my kids out before they wear me out. Maybe when they wear me out, I will feel old. I have friends who have health issues far beyond my aches and pains, so I feel quite lucky at my good health.

Mom, I believe you may be going through a bit of a mid-life crisis based on a couple of your posts. Those aren't just for men, ya'know.

An older relative has a towel with this embroidered on it in her kitchen and I love it and won't ever forget it: "Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened."

Everything is relative.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

50. That number just sounds old.

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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

30 to 35 depending on the person and the situation.

edit: I mean this when I hear woman say "oh, but I was 20 when I had my son" and still expect to get away with the 'young/dumb' card. I think, hey, you are almost 40 and still act like an irresponsible 20 year old. I expect a lot more from someone 30 than someone 20. I really do not expect more from someone 40 vs 30 though as far as a responsible parent goes.

youth- yes most people will notice a difference in facial fat between 40-45 years old. Most people will say to your face that you don't look your age and compliment you. I recall watching some super tacky show when I was in college with 20 somethings competing against 40ish women who WERE super hot to date 30 year old men. They looked OLD next to the younger girls. Yes, they may have been prettier and more toned, but no matter how much they spent on their looks they looked older. Look at Brandy Glanville on Real Housewives. She does not look 20, yet still thinks she is. She does look amazing for a 40 year old. I think there is nothing wrong with acting like a responsible adult and being okay with not being defined as young.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

I know 25 year olds who are old - they think old, act old, dream old. I know 80 year olds who still look forward to the next day with excitement and a sense of purpose.

Are your days of being inexperience and immature over? Probably. But that doesn't make you old.

I'm in a gym workout class with women aged 25 to 78, and there's a man who comes frequently who's 84. I lift way more weight than women 30 years younger, and I'm never out side and never injured. Some of it is dumb luck, some of it is genetics, and most of it is epigenetics and cellular nutrition getting my body to do what it's supposed to do without breaking down. So, no, I don't feel old, and I'm just old enough to be your mother.

Don't listen to people who bring you down! If they weren't so "old" in their attitudes, they wouldn't even bring up the subject!!

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J.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

Nwell since I was about 20 yrs I thought your persective had a lot to do with the aging. I knew many of my great uncles - great aunts. I have known people who were old at 30 and others who were physically active at 80. I still have my grandmother she is 96 yrs. Until the past 10 no she has been agile.

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