21 answers

What Age Do Parents Give "The Talk"?

I have a 14 year old daughter and i think its about time. . She has her first real boyfriend, and he seems like a nice boy, but having a boyfriend does open the window to sex. I do have a 16 year old daughter, and she has gotten this talk already, numerous times, lol. but do you think i should have her sit-in on this one too? Or should it just be my 14 year old and I? I have talked to her before but not the full talk, just little reminders. What do you moms think??

I know shes knows what sex is, but the whole be safe/STD convo is what im looking to have.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I think it's past due for these days. Really they suggest to start really having the talk no later than 8 and to fully have it by 11. So, yes ... it's time to have it.

6 moms found this helpful

On a light note, a friend of mine, years ago, had the talk with her daughter, who was probably 11 or 12, and after she explained "where babies come from" the daughter, who had 3 siblings, said, "YUCK, you had to do that 4 times??!!!!!!!

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I think it's past due for these days. Really they suggest to start really having the talk no later than 8 and to fully have it by 11. So, yes ... it's time to have it.

6 moms found this helpful

I have had various versions of "the talk" with my daughter for a year or so now.
She knows that men and boys have penises.
Women and girls have vaginas.
When you are a grown up and in love with someone you may decided to have sex.
Before you have sex you need to protect yourself so that you do not get hurt feelings, so make sure you are in love.
Make sure you wont get sick, so use a condom, and make sure you do not get pregnant until you are done with school and have a job and plenty of money, so use the pill.

She knows that I want her to come to me when she is thinking of having sex, if she is still a teenager, so that I can get her condoms and the pill.

She knows that sex is how a baby is made.
She also knows that you can adopt babies as well.
Any 2 consenting adults can have sex as long as they love each other.

My daughter is 6 and knows all of this.
I would advise you have the talk ASAP with yours before it is too late, (it may be too late as is).
And yes, have the 16 year old there.
I talk about this stuff openly and freely any time my daughter has a question.
I want her to be able to feel comfortable coming to me when the time comes.

6 moms found this helpful

YES, it's time. If she already has a boyfriend, it's PAST time.

5 moms found this helpful

On a light note, a friend of mine, years ago, had the talk with her daughter, who was probably 11 or 12, and after she explained "where babies come from" the daughter, who had 3 siblings, said, "YUCK, you had to do that 4 times??!!!!!!!

4 moms found this helpful

"the talk" at our house actually started out as just random comments when my boys were young. by the time the oldest boy was 18, next boy almost 16 and next boy 10 we had these conversations at dinner, before bed, in the car etc and because we had all ages the conversations were from several perspectives. start early and have them often

a comment to add into this conversation for your daughter is for her to remember to protect herself because she is not just sleeping with him she is sleeping with everyone he has ever messed with.

4 moms found this helpful

I think it should be a continuous conversation. My children have known about body parts etc. since they were able to talk. As for the sex talk and whats expected and appropriate behavior----yes-do it NOW. I would have started way earlier though--at least by 7 or 8. Don't wait any longer---GL

M

4 moms found this helpful

We did it at 9 and found it to be a bit too late. He'd been experimenting with a few of his friends for a few months.

The "Oh... so THAT'S what that is." just. really. isn't. something. you. want. to. hear. as. a. parent.

Don't get me wrong, we'd been talking about sex from several different areas for some time (scientific, emotional, why one waits, etc.)

Silly me. I didn't explain the mechanics of a blowjob. And that that counts as sex. Or fingering. Or... we'll just let it lie at this point, as I think you get my drift. We HAD talked about STDs. But since I didn't do the complete rundown of this and this ALSO equal sex, nor had apparently THEIR parents, it didn't occur to him OR his friends. Because they didn't get that what they were doing were sex acts, and none of them knew not to be doing these things, much less proper precautions. Don't get me wrong, they knew it was taboo....they just didn't know HOW taboo. They were thinking it was more along the lines of kissing/snogging. Your eldest, I'm sure, gets what sex acts are by this time, whether she's known to protect herself or not. My 9yo on the other hand was "I'm not supposed to be doing that! Why didn't you tell me those were part of it?"

Headsmack.

Yes. Please. Give her then ENTIRE rundown.

3 moms found this helpful

My 13 yr old was reading this over my shoulder & thinks that your 16 yr may be able to speak w/your 14 yr old & be a little more straightforward with her then you could be. And to maybe do so in a way that she doesn't think it is coming from you. Believe me, I used to drive 6 7th graders home from school every day & the stuff they talked about not only amazed me, but I honestly had to google some of the stuff so I knew what the heck they were talking about. And it was scary! Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

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