What Age Do Girls Outgrow Dolls?

Updated on November 10, 2008
J.P. asks from Houston, TX
58 answers

I have been struggling with this issue for awhile now and thought I'd put the question out there. My daughter just turned 7 and she has a ton of toys that she no longer plays with, like dolls, Barbies, My Little Pony, that type of thing. I suggested we get rid of them in a garage sale to make more space for the things she likes to do. Well, she freaked! But the problem is, she NEVER plays with this stuff, it just sits in her room! It's like she is hoarding everything she can. Is this normal and am I a bad mom if I do an executive decision and clean out some of this clutter? I would feel so bad if I traumatized her by getting rid of her toys.

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So What Happened?

Wow! What great responses! I am going to do several things that were suggested. I will definitely keep some of her favorites, because I too, have my Cabbage Patch Kids and Beanie Babies up in the attic! I especially like the idea about "this or that". She has a ton of alike toys,so this is probably doable for her. Then, we will donate to other kids. I don't want her to grow up too fast and lose her "little girl", but I definitely don't have room for all of this stuff! haha P.S. we are also saving some for the 13mo old, so we don't have to buy the same stuff over again! Thanks again Moms!

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J.L.

answers from Austin on

I think 7 is quite young to be thinking she will never play with dolls again that you could get rid of them. I played with dolls until I was 15 (although those were more innocent times than today).

I moved recently and told each of my kids (I have a daughter who is 8) that they needed to clean out their own rooms. It was hard but they decided which toys they didn't want anymore and there was a few things that we were able to clean out. Everything else got packed and moved with us.

I would let her tell you when she is ready to get rid of dolls. Let her enjoy them as long as possible. Childhood is so short as it is these days.

J.
Austin, Texas

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M.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I would leave her alone and let her make that decision. It may be that she is in an age transition stage. Feeling a little old for dolls but not old enough for the next stage of "toys" so she is not ready to give up her old stuff yet. She will tell you when she is ready...

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

I may be a terrible mom, but I occasionally go through my kids stuff and remove the ones they don't play with little by little(especially stuff that is broken). They have never noticed. Just a couple at a time. I have to be fairly ruthless because my kids have bad allergies and if they have stuff collecting dust in thier rooms, it makes them sick. We also try to use the "one in one out" rule whenever possible (this goes for me too). This means, if you want something new, you have to get rid of something old. It really helps cut down on clutter. Finally, we do talk about the fact that there are children who do not have much stuff and it is a good thing to give some of the things they don't play with anymore to needy kids. My 6 year old is very sensitive to this and is happy to go through her things and give some away.

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K.H.

answers from Killeen on

Well, you can go one of two ways...
With my kids I will not allow them to play with any new toys from Birthday or Christmas or any other time until two things happen...they have to make the giver a thank you card and they have to clean out as many toys as they received...before they can open them or play with them.
the other thing you can do is compromise with her and box them up, and put them in her closet, that way she has them in her possession but they are out of the way.
Good Luck with what ever you choose.

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L.W.

answers from Houston on

In my opinion there is no point in having toys if they are not played with. I don't think she will really be "traumatized" if you clear out some things. My suggestion (and what I did with my daughter) is to talk to her about giving them to children who can afford them. We went through her room and we went through toys she hadn't played with in a while and one by one SHE decided what stayed and what went. She and I went together and donated them (toys that she grew out of, we gave to her younger cousin). I made a big deal about her helping other kiddos and took her to chuck e cheese as a reward.
Before Christmas, we always "clean out" the old toys she doesn't play with to make room for all the wonderful Christmas toys coming in. It helps the transition of getting rid of toys not played with because she knows they will soon be replaced by toys she really wants!
Good Luck!

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J.V.

answers from Austin on

I am a terrible hoarder now.. and will not throw any of my children's things away... and I always wonder if it is because we were in the military and every time we moved...my Dad was afraid we would have too much weight and have to pay for the extra pounds......and many of our things would get left behind.

You might get permission from her to box the items up.. and after they have been boxed up awhile...if she doesn't ask for them....ask her if you can give them to someone who needs them more than she does.. or who would love them more than she does so that they don't have to live in a box.. You might even ask her if there are any she would like to give to friends... or maybe you could donate some to a daycare.. so lots of children could love them.

Good luck.. don't let her turn into me.

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

I still have all of the dolls that I had when I was a little girl. I feel comfort in having them. She may feel comfort in having them looking at her. My mom built a shelf that went all the way around my room about a foot from the ceiling. I put the dolls that I wasn't really playing with anymore up there. That way they were out of the way, but I still got the joy from looking at them and thinking of the good times that I had playing with them.

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S.D.

answers from Austin on

Whatever you do, please don't get rid of them behind her back!!!!!!! My husband's parents got rid of everything he owned except for a few pictures and one trophy. He just came home one day it was all gone. My parents on the other hand let me keep a memory box (actually a trunk) where I got to keep things that were special to me. Who do you think feels more loved? There is lots of good advice already posted on how to weed through things with her participation (because you certainly can't keep everything), but those toys are memories and only she can say what holds meaning for her. I'm 38, still have my memory box, and will never get rid of it. That stuff just can't be replaced.

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L.B.

answers from Houston on

My oldest is almost 12 and still plays with her Puppies in my Pocket and occasionally with Bratz dolls and stuffed animals. One thing I have noticed is that she and my 9-year-old daughter don't play with their dolls alone or even with each other so much anymore, but they still play with them when they have friends over, esp. my 9-year-old. My oldest only has one or two friends who still like to play with them but my 9-year-old has several friends who do. Every few months we go through them and they give away things they haven't played with for awhile, but I don't force them to give anything up (my husband does this every once in a while and I feel like that is enough--it is pretty traumatic for them). As you probably already know, it is tough for kids when they have friends over and can't agree on what to play, so having a variety of toys availble is key to a successful playdate. I would say 'weed out' the toys with her to make things tidier, but don't have her give them all up at once. My mother gave away my little brother's GI Goes and Super Hero figures when he was 8, and he STILL talks about how awful it was (he is 36 now!). Let us know what you decide--good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

I just read in the Magazine Family Fun where the mom was having the same problem. The kids were home schooled and were learning about the Native American cultures. They had a potlatch ceremony, clan leaders would flaunt their power by gathering the villagers together for a feast then giving away as many treasures as possible. This is a great way to learn about generosity. The mother told the kids they had seven days ( with thanks giving comming up you could say pick out three toys a day or one a day depending on how many she needs to sort out ). She gave them two rules 1 no herilooms could be given away, 2 toys should be in good shape and have lots of play value left on them. And of course the mother had to set a good example and sort threw some of her older things. I remember my father throwing away my mrs piggy and kermit sleeping bag and i was devistated. i cryed to my mother who was no help at all. basically eventually they just need to get over it. i do still have my cabbage patch doll and a couple other memories in a box. Also I know people that go threw things right before christmas or birthdays to make room for the new toys...well if you have all these toys then you dont need many new ones...seems to work. Good luck.

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N.S.

answers from Austin on

My daughter is 14 and still won't get rid of her Barbies and her Bratz. She won't play with them but refuses to let any little girl who may happen to come over even touch them. I have 4 totes full of Barbies and STUFF (furniture, cars) that go with them. Under her bed is a rolling drawer full of them too. I now wish I had at least one doll from my childhood to share with my girls but I don't and a friend of mine had all her Barbies that her mom saved and they were so cool. So don't get rid of them. Store them in the attic. She may be blessed with a daughter some day who will love them too.

A.W.

answers from Houston on

I agree with the mom's who suggested donating. Explain to her that there are many children out there who aren't as fortunate as she is & pack it up & donate it. My aunt does this with her son every year before Christmas. It's not only teaching him to be someone who gives to others who are in need, but it's helping him not to become a clutter bug. My son is 15 months & right after his 1st birthday, I packed up a bunch of his toys that he had outgrown & gave them away. Let her keep a couple of items that are special or sentimental. I still have my 1st teddy bear that my aunt got me when I was born. :) That kind of thing I wouldn't get rid of. I think once she realizes how happy she'll be making other kids who are less fortunate, she will come around to the idea. Especially if you make her apart of the process & make it an annual event (especially before Christmas). If she still believes in Santa, have him write her a note for her to read on Christmas Day about how proud he is of her for doing it!

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C.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Before my daughters birthday or Christmas we go through all the toys and she gets to decide on which ones she doesn't play with any more. Then we decide why (doesn't enjoy, pieces missing, something broke, just tired of it, or saving it for later) if it is missing pieces or broke it gets tossed, if it is something she just doesn't enjoy we carefully box it up and take it to Goodwill or Medina Children's home so they can use it for children who don't have as much as we do. Sometimes we even put things in the attic, if it is something we can use later (like for the new little brother).

This gives her control over her things (even though technically they are all yours!) and fosters a giving heart. My daughter now knows of friends we can pass things on to so it is really fun to see who she thinks could use the things she wants to give a way.

The other thing that occassionally happens is that mommy gets tired of stepping on things because she hasn't cleaned them up (i.e. barbie 'stuff' or games with lots of pieces). So she gets the warning - "Put the stuff away, because if mommy steps on them, she could get hurt and so could baby brother, if mommy is holding him. If you don't, then mommy will give it away." That has worked wonderfully. Even if it clearly is a toy she plays with, if it can stay picked up then it needs to go away. We often have tears, but a consequence sometimes has to hurt.

Good luck!

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R.D.

answers from San Antonio on

I think society makes our kids grow up too quickly. Let her keep her dolls. My daughter is almost 13 but still plays with her dolls about once a month or so. We packed up most of them and all the accessories but she kept out 2-3. She also has her baby dolls but the play has just changed. They now have "different" conversations. None of these items come out when someone else is visiting. If you have room for them, I think they are cheaper than therapy!
but now might be a good time to tell family to give her gift certificates, etc so you can start weeding out toys and not feel quilty about the amount of money put into those items.

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C.R.

answers from San Antonio on

You won't traumatize her, kids are just like that, they don't like the idea of getting rid of toys.

I'm not sure of your views on Christmas or Santa or anything but here's what my parents did. When I was a kid I would get upset with my parents because they always wanted to throw my toys away if I didn't play with them for a while, but then they started "compromisng" with me. Every year around this time (usually the day after Thanksgiving because they were off work) we'd all have to get our toys and pile them in the middle of the floor. They would also use the opportunity to get us to clean our room lol. We were told we could keep "x" number of toys so we'd better make good choices. We were told that our old toys would go to kids that don't have toys and that we'd be helping them by giving them our toys and that "Santa" rewards kids who think of others. They told us that Santa said we had too many toys already and he had no room to bring new ones so we'd better make room if we wanted new toys.

I'm sure it was just their way of getting us to get rid of the toys lol but it worked. It made us feel special because we were helping other kids who couldn't have toys and the idea of getting more new toys from Santa helped too.

We plan to carry this "tradition" with our children too. I think it'll work for you too. Don't worry about traumatizing her, you're her mom, you know what toys she really loves so avoid those toys and let her pick a handful that she just "can't live without". Kids always make things bigger than what they are, they're all full of drama and then a couple of days later they've forgotten what toys got thrown out anyway and could care less. Either way you choose to make room you won't traumatize her, maybe make her mad at you for a day or so but not anything that will last any significant amount of time. **hugs**

ps. I played with dolls until I was around 13. I don't think girls can outgrow dolls quickly but you can always get her to keep her favorite couple of dolls and get her new ones later.

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A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

I thought the same thing of my daughter and I got rid of all her barbies well she will be 8 in march and over the last couple of months she has started playing with ones she got from my old collecter set I know I should have let her but now she adores it. make houses for them and everything. Now I regret getting rid of the other ones. I would say just put them in a box for a little while and she will grow back into it.

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

I like Connie's and Lavon's suggestion about donating unused toys to other children. My children are too young yet for this process, but I also intend to follow that approach. My own parents used it with me. I was allowed to keep a toy that had special meaning to me, then we put together a "group photo" of the toys I was going to give away to other kids. That way I could still see my toys but also have the good feeling that comes from giving to those who had less.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

Since I like to keep everything too, I understand her impulse. Put HER in control. Sit down with 3 boxes; one of special things to keep, one to give away to kids in need, one for plain old trash. Don't be surprised if the first time you do this she keeps more than she throws. Make sure she is involved in choosing a charity of some sort for the others, and let her know how happy some other child will be with stuff she's too "grown up" for. Repeat just before birthdays and Christmas. Tis is a great habit to get kids into.

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P.H.

answers from Houston on

I have a friend with a daughter who is an only child (so she's spoiled and has tons of toys), and she goes through this same issue frequently. What she does is starts a garbage size bag in the hall closet, periodically when her daughter is not home, she takes the toys she wants to get rid of, a few at a time and puts them in the bag. When the bag(s) are full she takes them to Goodwill. With only a couple gone at a time, her daughter rarely notices.

What I did with my son although he was a bit older, was I explained about all the children who had so much less than he did and I asked him if it would be okay if WE, he and I together picked out some toys he didn't want anymore and take them to a charity so that he could share his things with children who didn't have any nice toys like he did. He thought this was a great idea, and still every year close to Christmas time, we do this.

If you are just looking to add things to a garage sale, I would try that approach with her. Tell her that the parents of children who can not afford all the wonderful toys like the ones she has and you two together could pick out some really good ones for her to sell so that those kids could be able to afford to have some nice toys like she does. Maybe that will work.

Good luck.

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B.P.

answers from Houston on

With the upcoming holiday season you could suggest that she give it to someone in need. Encourage her to get rid of 2 old things to make room for some new things at Christmas.

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L.H.

answers from Houston on

You might try the talk about the children who have few toys.

We used to clean out my son's room every fall. I'd tell him that as long as had a room full of toys, Santa wouldn't leave him very many new toys. He'd take those to the children who didn't have very many toys. He readily donated old toys to the shelter.

After the Santa days it got even better because then it was ME who wouldn't buy much new if he didn't clear out the old.

Just a thought....

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S.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I was still dressing my barbies and fixing their hair at age 16! No you don't throw away her dolls! My son had a large stuffed rabbit he got when he was born, his name was Toby. He slept with that rabbit, till he was 12. Then one day i cleaned his room while he was at school, and I threw Toby out, because I thought that it didn't mean anything to him anymore. He was dirty, and stinky and yucky! He came home from school, and when I told him I threw him out, he broke into huge tears right before my eyes! He was very emotionally tramatized! So we managed to pull Toby from the trash, no worse off than before, and I promised my son, That I would never take Toby away again, That it would have to be him that threw Toby Away, when he was finished with him. I think that He was 16 when he finally gave Toby up! His friends razzed him when they came over and everything, but he didn't care! he gave him up when he was ready. Maybe you could take all of the broken toys, and cheap toys,away, but then let her have the final say! Yes you will tramatize her if she isn't ready to give them up! Best of luck!

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R.W.

answers from Brownsville on

Here are a couple of ideas that I hope will help. Children these days tend to acquire far more toys than kids did when i was a child. I don't ever remember my mom having to make me throw out a toy because there wasn't room for anymore. That having been said, your child will surely get lots more toys in the years to come. I know there is never a shortage of toys in our house. I want my children to not expect to have lots of material things around that hold SO MUCH value. Therefore, each year, sometimes twice, I get a huge bag and I encourage my kids to bag up toys for the kids that simply don't have as much as we do. This works really well at Christmas and just before birthdays. WE then take these toys to shelters, toy drives, churches, etc. My oldest, 13, now has no problem thining out her belongings. We have one rule in our house, everything has a place, and if we run out of places, we have too many things! So garage sales are an option for my 13 year old. She actually enjoys watching kids pick out her toys. Many times she will send them away with stories about what great things can be done with "such-n-such" or with a particular doll. And then she gets to use the money she earns to purchase 1 new toy!

I hope this works. We have become a seriously materialistic socitey, myself included. I try really hard to impress on my kids that these things can be replaced, people and memories can not. Those are the things we should cherish. JSYK - my husband owns his own business too...yes, crisis mode is a good word to describe it!

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I am 35 and I still have many of my dolls, though I've gone through them several times and gotten rid of many. I don't play with them. They just sit there. But, they are special to me. As long as she is getting rid of toys to make room for new ones, I wouldn't worry if she's not getting rid of something you think she should. If she doesn't want to get rid of anything at all, then you have to deal with her on that.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Give her a box and ask her to put things in it that she no longer plays with, to put it up NOT GET RID OF IT. Tell her it's so she can have more room to play, and more room for her Christmas gifts. Do this every few days until you feel that a lot of the toys she is ignoring have been picked up. If after a month she hasn't asked for anything out of the box, without showing her the toys you can remind her of all the toys she put away and ask her if she would be interested in helping some needy families for Christmas. Go to a local shelter website, like Star of Hope, and talk to her about all the children there who have no home for Christmas and ask her if she'd like to give some of her 'old toys' to them.

For some children, the idea of selling toys and them going to strangers is unthinkable, but are happy to give or trade toys with someone else, especially if they know a need is present.

My oldest is 5 and she'd give everything away if I'd let her (because she doesn't want to put things away. heh)

As for if this is NORMAL, there ARE some children who have an abnormal hording nature. I was like this and still struggle to some extent. Some co-morbid syndromes (that means they can coexsist in one child) that show such issues: OCD, autism/Asperger Syndrome, Sensory Integration Dysfunction (problems regulating the sensory system leads to a need to control the environment) I'm sure I'm forgetting something here.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it unless she's having problems with other issues (behavior for instance.) If you notice her collecting other things also (bottle caps, string, sticks, wrappers, soda can tabs, ect) and gets upset if you try to get her to leave the stuff on the ground or take her box of treasures away, then you might want to seek help from a professional as it could indicate that she DOES have a problem.

S., mom to 5

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V.L.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is 9 and we have the same issue.
What I have found is that she plays with those toys when her friends are over.
I was the same way when I was younger. I was bored with those things if I had no one to play with, too.

However, we do make room for new toys twice a year- before birthday and before Christmas. I stress to my daughter that there are children who don't have toys and she can help them by giving them toys that she no long plays with. And we get rid of at least 8-10 toys, put it in a box and take it to a donation center.

L.H.

answers from Austin on

developmentally, 7 year olds need to "collect and hoard", among other things. They are like toddlers in this phase a little bit in the hoarding, collecting and also in the level of self-centeredness....it's all good and normal. She'll give up the stuff when she's a bit older without the drama.
L.

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C.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I would not get rid of those things. Instead put them in a bin and store in the attic. That way if she does freak you can show them to her. Also,she will be greatfull if you keep them later on in life. Good Luck

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

Jana, the question isn't really when girls outgrow dolls, the question is, has your daughter outgrown hers. The reason I say that is that my six, almost seven year-old has just aquired a new-found fondness for Barbies. She never, and I mean never, played with them until now. Her sister is four, almost five and has always shown an interest and that is the only reason I kept them around. If your daughter has a friend for example, who likes Barbies,she may show an interest. Also, is the three-year old or the 13 month old a girl too...that can help justify the hoarding as he three year old will be about the age to start creative play with the ponies.

That said, I remember clearly when my Mother would try to get rid of my toys. Even if I didn't play with them, I had an emotional connection to most of them. We are in the process of moving to Japan and I had to get rid of a TON of toys from all three kids and I made the mistake of trying to ask them what they wanted to get rid of. I ended up doing what my Mother always did, just go in and take things and get rid of them. It must have worked fine because I can't remember a time that I went looking for something that was gone.

Another idea is the this or that game...not as easy as slowly removing things without them noticing, but you just tell her you have to fill a laundry basket (or box) of things to get rid of, period, no discussion. Ask her if she wants to get rid of this, or that (barbie or pony.) Maybe she can keep a few of each in case she gets bored or a friend has an interest. Or you can just keep a few of each and go through them yourself.

Happy cleaning and for what it's worth, you really have to do this kind of thing sometimes...before Christmas is a great time to do it too since new things will out-interest the old stuff. Good luck.

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M.K.

answers from Victoria on

Maybe she is a collecter at heart:o)

My granddaughters are from 24 down to 13 and they all still have SOME of their favorite dolls. The older two have them packed awhile while they are at college. They will probably sort through that sort of stuff when my son and wife downsize when the granddaughters get married and tell them to come get their 'stuff'.
The 13 to 15 year olds still have most their dolls but have presently packed away SOME to replace them with cell phones and MP3 players.

My mother threw out a box of my paper dolls when I moved away from home at age 18, and I am still reminiscing about my lost forever paperdolls. I am 66 years old and have quite a valuable collection of paper dolls I have located in recent years. I STILL think my mother should have let me decide which of my belongings to discard.


I'd much rather my daughter hang onto her desire for a few dolls (she is still barely out of the toddler stage) than to start scoping out the boys at this young age, WHICH IS NOT UNUSUAL in this day of 14 year old pregnancies. Better hang onto your baby girl. Before you know it a box of old dolls is not going to be a major problem for you anymore. M. K

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

If it is only to make room, you can "notice" that she is low on room and ask her what she thinks about that. Together, you can strategize about how to maximize the space in her room. She may love having the toys as part of her decor and not want to make any changes. Then, you can point out how you thought her space might be better used.

You could ask about starting a memory chest/box? Basically, it is like a hope chest, but she puts things in it that she wants to keep but not use all the time. That way, she has started her own storage and can access things as she wants. She can also then decide if there are toys she doesn't really want any more. You can then put it in the attic or closet or wherever. It would be good to strategize with her. Along with starting a storage/memory chest, you can talk about donating toys and many of the other suggestions below. This way, you can teach about many things--organization, altruism, prioritizing, etc.

Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Waco on

You could try telling her that she can use the money made on selling the toys to buy her new toys.

That's what I do with my children and they get rid of tons.

After, we take them shopping and they end up bringing home less than they got rid of.

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A.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I would start talking up the idea of donating some toys your daughter doesn't play with, but wait to donate them until she decides on her own that she's ready for it. She should be an active participant. I have also had issues with this with my own family, and having someone even suggest that I get rid of something makes me feel violated--I want to make those decisions on my own. I DO take plenty to Goodwill, but if they are my things, I want it to be my decision.

I'd also keep the dolls a few more years. I played with mine until I was rather old, as did many others who have posted! You never know if she will come back to them; after all, she's really not too old for them yet.

My husband has already started discussing this with our 4-year-old, and at first she didn't want to get rid of anything, and became afraid that all her toys would disappear. She has warmed up to the idea, but it did take a little time, and multiple casual discussions. I try to make sure that we don't give away things that family members have given her that they expect to see when they visit (to keep family peace), unless they truly are baby toys. Donating toys has been a sticky issue in our house because we are not done having children yet. My daughter has too many toys, and my husband wants to get rid of lots an lots. If she were our last, I could see his point, but I don't want to be "re-buying" everything all over again, which I see as even more wasteful. (We're on an eternal adoption list, so this wait for a second child is taking years and years--and in the meantime those baby things are cluttering our house...grumble...)

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S.D.

answers from Houston on

If she does not play with them anymore, just pack them up and put them in the attic. Yes, they will probably be forgotten about until you go to look for Christmas decorations the next year, but then she does not have to suffer the loss of "losing" her childhood playmates to strangers. When she gets older,she can decide what she wants to do with them (aka: keep them for her children or give them to cahrity). Either way, this makes it her decision to part with them and she can cope that way.

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C.H.

answers from Houston on

Hi Jana,
I still have my 2 favorite dolls from childhood, as does my mother who is 86. This worked for my children:
Every Nov in anticipation of Christmas, we selected the best of the best and gave away the rest to families who wouldn't otherwise have gifts. That way the children learned sharing from an early age and got to keep what they loved most. Perhaps she is afraid that she will forget how much she loved "pony" or other or that she won't get more. Take a picture of her with All her games and toys, then another with the ones she is willing to share with less fortunate kiddos. After Christmas/birthday take another pic so she can see that she still has her faves and made room for more.
If she is still resistant, my friend's family has a system called "making room". They put the game/toy/clothes in a box put in the attic/storage to make room for what you really need/use. Once the child becomes accustomed to the new organization, goods are passed on. That gives a safety net of a couple weeks to realize their favorite "doggy" was actually placed in the to go bin and can be retrieved.
Peace, C.
ps. It hurts less if you don't see it go. ;)
pps. I especially LOVE the idea of letting the child give it to a child(ren) personally or the Fire Dept so they have the good feeling of seeing the joy firsthand. (Ike devastation)

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A.L.

answers from San Antonio on

My dd is almost 10 and she and her friends still play with dolls. My kids interests change all the time. She may become interested again later. My son has replaced his Yu-Gi-Oh cards 3 times because he got rid of them, thinking he was finished with them and became interested again.
I have lots of books in my closet. Some I haven't read in years but still want them. Maybe there is sentimental value for her.
What about asking if you can box some of them up and put them in a safe place? That way she still feels like they are hers and they aren't gone for good.
Dolls seem to take on personalities of thier own for little girls. Yes, I think it could be very hurtful to get rid of things that are special to her. I know it would be hurtful if someone did that to me. My husband may not understand my love of books and my need to keep them but I can't imagine him getting rid of my books. That disrespect would really hurt.

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

Some of us never do :) Seriously, though, my 11 year old recently tried to get rid of her polly pockets and found them in the garage and started playing with them again. My 13 year old never played with dolls but always liked to collect them and still does.
Some children have problems getting rid of stuff because they associate it with the person who gave it to them (check out Love Languages for Children, under the language of gifts) You could ask and see if she remembers who gave her certain toys, this might help you see if she's one of these folks. If she is she might have to be convinced that she's not hurting someone by blessing another person with the unused toy. She may decide she just loves it and doesn't want to part with it yet.
My girls finally decided that there would be no room for new birthday and Christmas presents and that since they weren't using certain things they could bless others. I planted the seed but they were the ones to take charge of the process. Its a more powerful lesson to let her make decisions about this than doing it for her. Look forward to seeing what you and she does.

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

I boxed up the best dolls, trucks etc. and saved them for grandchildren. Now, that I have grandchildren, they really love playing with that doll etc that their parents played with, and I also have given some to them. It really does mean alot to your own children seeing their kids playing with them. But limit what you can get in a certain size box that can go into the attic or shelve in the garage.

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B.S.

answers from Houston on

First off don't get rid of the Barbies they are collectables. You ever day toys like something else you can put up. Girls have a lot of things that they like to keep so you should ask her what is the most important things for her to keep and the one she would like to get rid of. This helps her to make the pross. You are not traumatizing any child by getting rid of her things. Just let her tell you what she would like to keep and then the other things can go. Say your helping other children who don't have a lot of things. B..

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

One thing that can be done is bring up that Christmas is coming and she may need room for new things. Maybe she could give some of her things to Goodwill or to the homeless children. If not she will make the decision her self let her.
These are her things and she prizes them. Just like you did at her age.

E.A.

answers from Atlanta on

The aspect that is disconcerting to me is that... As a society, we force little girls to grow up so fast now. Let me ask this... If you take away her Barbies and dolls, what do you envision her playing with instead... Makeup? Fantasy boyfriend games with her friends...? Are you ready for her to move on to the next imaginary play stage?

I personally remember playing with my Barbies until I was 10 or 11. I created elaborate "houses" on the dinning room table, bath tubs, etc. Of course, I also had a friend with whom I played dolls with... That's key...

However, really... If you seriously intend to force her to give up toys, contemplate what will fill in for that void. I say let her hold onto this stage as long as she wants. She may not play with them as you consider it, but since she is objecting to the idea of cleaning them out, heck! With how society tends to "sexate" little girls these days... FINE! Let her see those toys as still being age appropriate.

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R.B.

answers from College Station on

Your post reminds me of me as a kid. I loved Cabbage Patch Kids when I was growing up, and I got one every year for Christmas starting when I was 5 (the year they came out). My mom still laughs when she tells the story about me asking "I am still going to get a Cabbage Patch Kid this year, right?" I was 15!! She did get me the 10-year anniversary doll that year, but it is still in the box (she persuaded me to keep it that way).
I do have that problem a little with my 6yo son, though. Anytime I try to get rid of something he says, "But that was my favorite toy when I was a kid!" (That cracks me up a bit!) I do go through my kids' toy boxes and throw away the cheap stuff (like McDonald's toys) pretty regularly. But at this time of year, I also go through stuff and take out things they don't play with and won't notice and give it to toy drives (if it's in pretty good condition) or Good Will (if it's not quite as good). That's pretty much the extent of the battle I'm willing to wage at this time....But maybe that's because I can relate a little (or a lot) to not wanting to get rid of my stuff. :)

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

Hi! I have a daughter who is 8 1/2 and she STILL pulls out her ponies, etc...She did go through a phase between 6/7 where she never played with those things and just yesterday she pulled out some of the things she truly didn't want to play with anymore. Also, if you have playdates, they all want to play with something different. Anyway..I say, let her get rid of it on her own time...at my house, it makes for a much peaceful environment...no tears!! Oh yeah, I'm not sure they ever get tired of barbies...my daughter just asked for a new barbie house for Christmas (well of course it's the High School Musicial house, but still!!) I've even gone ahead and put some stuff in tubs and put them in the attic, and then she asks for them here and there, like she's getting something new again!! GOOD LUCK!

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B.H.

answers from College Station on

How about not passing it down, but passing it on to her 3 year old sister. I have a soon to be 9 year old daughter who had groovy girls, ponies, doll house, etc... and last year we redid her room and all of the "baby" toys moved to her 3 year old sisters room. I went to Target and bought one of their wall organizers with the tubs and everything fits so nicely. My 8 year old still goes in there when she has the urge to play with something, but she knows it has been passes down. Maybe that will help instead of just getting rid of it. She only had 8 ponies, about 20 groovy girls a kitchen set with pretend food pots/pans, a my family doll house and a iron board. It has been great because I have not had to buy anything for the baby. She loves all of her big sisters stuff. I hope this helps.

B., SAHM of 3
almost 9 yr old daughter and 3 yr old daughter and a 7 yr old son LOVE THEM!!!

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A.H.

answers from College Station on

I would not sell all of them. Have her pick a set number of each that she really would like to keep. Then put them in storage boxes and put them in a closet or in the attic. If she never plays with them again, that's fine, but she will still have them. My daughter (almost 6) plays with my My Little ponies and Barbies when she goes to my parents house. My mom even has Barbies and Trolls from when she was little. My Daughter loves the fact that she is playing with toys that Mommy played with when she was little.

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is 7 and she has pretty much outgrown dolls too. She plays with stuffed animals, though. Some things I just get rid of. Holding on to stuff is normal for kids and even lots of adults! Others I tell her that I'm giving to charity (like her trike - big things). You could have a rule that for each new thing she gets she has to agree to give away 2 things.

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S.H.

answers from Houston on

Ask your daughter to choose which things to keep. No more than will go in a large storage container. That way you can put these things out of sight, but she'll be secure in knowing that she still has them.

By the way, 7 is much too young to throw out dolls. 13 would be old enough! (Besides, I know lots of adults who collect dolls--and they NEVER play with them!)

Don't feel guilty. It's hard to remember the mind-set of a y-year-old. Just take her cues and back off with the "throwing away" mode.

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V.F.

answers from Austin on

well, when i was about 7 years old, my dad took me and my
sister out for ice cream. when we returned home, my mom
had gotten rid of all my barbies. i had a ton of them, i
had furniture i had made for them, clothes, etc etc. i was
traumatized for years. i cried so hard. it felt
like i'd been violated. at 7, all i had were these toys
and they meant so much to me. i didn't play with them
much anymore, but i had them all displayed and neat on
top of my dresser. i LOVED them. so, like some of the
others moms said, keep the barbies if that's her
favorite. let her know that she has some say over what
happens to the things that belong to her. when we're so
young, there are so few things that we have control over.
give her that respect. and at 7, she is far from
having outgrown dolls. :)
i hope this helps!

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K.K.

answers from Houston on

Well....I havet 2 girls and the oldest HATES to get rid of items. I have found, don't ask....just SLOWLY take items out of room and put away in a box in a closet. If they don't ask about them for awhile....they have forgotten...and I donate!
Now, don't get rid of HER FAVORITE items...but if she has ALOT, she will not miss some. Good Luck!
I have 2 garbage bags of stuffed animals....don't have the heart to toss!

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T.B.

answers from Killeen on

I had the same problem a while back with my eight year old My first suggestion would be if she has grandparents close by she can take some over there to play with while she is there. If not tell her that she has to much and if she sells them in the garage sale then she can keep the money from them let her help you decide which ones to sale but you must set the limit and no you are not a bad parent. If none of the above work try getting a room organizer. Those come in really handy.

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

Don't get rid of it all but it might be time to put some things away. I played with dolls until at least 10. My mom still has the important ones and someday I will take them. It is a part of my childhood and I a grateful she has them.

My grandma saved all of my moms dolls and we played with them when we would visit...it was fun playing with a vintage doll and something my mom played with.

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

I STILL have some of my stuffed animals (I was never really into dolls) and I'm 37! Since it's almost Christmas maybe you could have her choose dolls that she would like to give to some other little girl for Christmas who may have lost everything in Ike. You could call a church and ask them for the name of a family. Take her with you to give it to them and it would be a great experience for her.
Or, get 2 bins and have her separate them into her favorites and non-favorites. Maybe 1 doll to favorites and 1 to the other bin and tell her you're going to get rid of the ones that aren't her favorites (after you're through sorting them) or if that could be a problem, you'll at least know which ones mean the most to her and which you can get rid of (even if one at a time). Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

This is a good time to teach your daughter (and the other children too) about sharing. My daughter-in-law and my daughter both do it. Explain to her that there are lots of children who will not have a big Christmas and it's time to share and make room for all the new stuff she'll be getting. Let her decide which she wants to share with someone, but make sure it's a nice one and not a broken one. Remind her of the recent hurricain and that lots of people lost their homes and all their belongs, including toys, and they have nothing. If you do this every year with all of your children they will benefit greatly by learning to not only share, but also to appreciate what they have. I wouldn't threaten "if you don't share you won't get as much" but suggest that she will have more room for other things. Plus, all that unused stuff just clutters up her room and makes it look messy.

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A.J.

answers from Killeen on

I think I was about 9 when I stopped playing with baby dolls, about 10 or 11 when I stopped playing with Barbie dolls and ponies. But I didn't admit to everyone that I still played with them =)
I think if she has too much clutter, just tell her that her room is too cluttered and tell her she needs to decide what are her most favorite toys, toys she might still want to play with, and then toys she can't remember the last time she played with. Make it an incentive like "dad and I want to buy you Christmas presents, but we're not sure where you would put anything new..." She will probably be eager to make room for new things!
If there are things you know for a fact she hasn't played with in forever (not even without you seeing her) then I say just get rid of it! Take it to goodwill or post it on freecycle or craigslist.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

Hi Jana,

Don't feel bad you will not traumatize your daughter. The fact is that this job needs to be done. You should sit down and go through the toys together. Have her pick one or two of her favorites and the rest go out. That way she gets to keep some and you get rid of some of the clutter. I try to do this at least once every year.

M. K

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R.A.

answers from Odessa on

This is a good age to start teaching your child the joy of sharing with those less fortunate. We started a tradition when my daughter was about 5, where she went through all the toys she had, those she thought she had outgrown and wanted to give away. Her reward was taking them to a shelter where she could personally give them away, or to the fire department where she knew they would pass them out to kids that needed them. She was also aware that she was making room for new toys she got at her birthday and Christmas. To this day (she's 27 now) she still goes through her stuff when it's near the end of the year and purges stuff she doesnt use. Good luck as your peruse all your responses!!

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M.S.

answers from Houston on

Hi Jana~

I remember playing with dolls until at least 10 with my little sister. My 9 year old still loves playing with her Littlest Pet Shop stuff with her little sister. Maybe you could put it up for awhile and bring it out when she complains she is bored and it will be "fresh" for her. I think 7 is a little too young to be giving up dolls and such but every child is different. Maybe ask her to pick out a select number of her dolls, etc. and suggest giving the rest to some children who may not have any toys. That may work.
I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your daughter.
Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Austin on

Dear Jana,

Now that my daughters are in their twenties, I often wish that I would have kept some of their most special toys, as well as some of their prettiest dresses. I know that storage can be a problem, but perhaps you could, once a year, go through a process of getting rid of/keeping in a special box, and thus make you and her both happy.

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