Weight Issues - El Cerrito,CA

Updated on July 12, 2010
R.K. asks from El Cerrito, CA
20 answers

hi moms. so, i have been really torn about this issue. i don't subscribe to a "thin is better" view, nor do i believe it is always healthier. i find many different body sizes and types attractive and fit. that being said, i have some unique weight issues myself, and i think your input will be very helpful. i know i should talk to this with a doctor (i don't have one yet) but i feel like this also might be a "mom" issue so i thought i'd start with you.

i was at a healthy weight before having my daughter 3 years ago, about 130-135 lbs. i have always been active, but besides yoga twice a week i didn't get regular workouts. during my pregnancy i didn't gain much weight. after she was born, i guess through breastfeeding and walking around each day i lost some weight. after i weaned her at 2 yrs, i guess that's when not only did i stop losing but i gained! i may sound surprised because of everything i was/am doing right: i eat all organic, no refined sugars or flours, no junk food, only fish and no other meats (but i get protein and veggies in every meal), i only drink water (besides my coffee). what i'm doing differently than 4 years ago: no longer walking to work (we moved), although the walk was less than 15 min. each way; drinking more beer (a couple beers every other day); drinking more coffee (a couple cups per day with a spoon of honey). also i think i've been under more stress.

are those factors enough to keep weight on me and actually make me gain? i've actually been in the situation more than once where i stepped on my brother's scale (i don't have one) expecting to see loss (i guess cuz i FELT in better shape) and saw gain! for a while i actually thought his scale was broken (ha ha ha!). i have also started to do 2 dance classes a week, been doing one yoga class a week the whole time, and i've been doing walk/jogs and exercise videos at home. i think i'm still gaining weight!

i am SO frustrated, not becuase i don't love my body but because i feel out of control. i feel like i don't know what's going on with my body. i have been trying so hard! i DON'T overeat and i exercise! please help, moms - is something wrong with my metabolism or something?

(another small detail - i tried doing an internal cleanse which didn't do much cuz i already have 2-3 BMs a day - i am very regular and never have stomach upsets)

(oh - also, about my weight - it's over 160)

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!

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J.S.

answers from Sacramento on

You've gotten a lot of great responses. I'll just add that just 100 extra calories a day adds 10 pounds in a year. So...cutting 100 calories a day will help you drop 10 pounds/year. :)

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C.L.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm always shocked by how little Renee Zellweger had to do to gain weight for her role in Bridget Jones Diary and how hard she had to work to get it back off. Here is a link.
http://www.ehow.com/how_###-###-####_fluctuate-weight-lik...

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H.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R. -

This is a hard one, all bodies are different. I'm a certified personal trainer, and I've worked with women and men of all shapes and sizes. In VERY, VERY general terms, unless there is medically something wrong with you and/or you are medication, it really is an energy/energy out equation. Yes, def get a doc and check it out since who knows what might be going on??

But in the meantime:

- Start tracking your food. All of us are absolutely horrible at really knowing what we eat. You cannot make educated adjustments to your diet unless you really know what you're putting in. This will also be good info for your doc when you go see her/him. Someone already mentioned sparkepeople.com - an excellent site. Another option is fitday.com (also free) or if you have an iPhone, I like the Lose It! app (free)

- Once you have a more accurate idea of what & when & how much you are eating, formulate a plan. Maybe you eat all the right things, but too much of them? Maybe it's about timing your meals better? You need a 500 calorie/day deficit in order to lose one pound/week. There are online calculators that will help you figure out how much energy you're expending/day. They are rough guides, but it's a start.

- Move more. You do not mention the intensity of your workouts. You should be able to talk, but your workouts need to be challenging. For weight loss, you need to be moving 5-6 days/week. 3 days/week is really more about maintaining your current weight. Don't neglect resistance training.

- Don't underestimate the power of stress and sleep. Both are extremely influential on your body. I've seen stress and lack of sleep undo a lot of good work with my clients.

You do not have the same body now as you did before you had your daughter. For some of us, pregnancy changes our bodies forever, maybe in shape, maybe in size, maybe in weight distribution. Sure, some women go back looking exactly like they did before, but some of us don't. This doesn't mean you can't be at a healthy weight, just that to expect to be exactly the same as before may not be realistic.

I hope that was helpful, sorry to be so long winded!

Good luck!

H.

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D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi there! You didn't state how old you are, so I'll start there. I noticed once I hit 30 (the age I was at when my last child wasborn) that my metabolism slowed way down. Not that I'm approaching 40, it's getting ridiculous. I've been to the dr and had all the blood tests and have come to accept it's part of getting older. 4 extra years + no walking to work + a couple beers per day = an extra 300-400 cals per day that your body didn't have to deal with before. That adds up to an extra 10 pounds of body weight in 13 weeks! Not to mention that as we get older, our mass of muscle starts to convert to a mass of fat (which causes us to burn less cals too.)

The good news is exercise can fix most of this. Work on weight training to build your muscle mass. You said you feel like you lost - remember that muscle weighs more so its possible you lost fat but gained muscle and thus still weigh the same. The true test is how your clothes are fitting. Don't lose hope & good luck!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Unless a person is *extremely* active... a person who regularly drinks beer can expect to lose 10-30lbs if they quit drinking beer for 3 months.

Same token, the *best* way to lose weight? Walking. The vast majority of our calories, every day, are spent not being puddles. AKA the energy it takes our muscles to hold our bones where we want them when we're sitting or standing (just think back to your baby learning how to roll over, sit, and walk... It's a HUGE amount of effort. Running is a different kind of energy use. WALKING burns calories like crazy, because all of our muscles are in use (esp if we're walking with our spines straight, and shoulders back... not schlumping & schlepping & dashing).

Dancing & Running build muscle fiber (which adds weight... healthier weight, which we DO want... but adds it all the same).

So you added beer, took out a twice daily walk (plus any "little" walking during the day, since you weren't driving), took out breastfeeding, and added some muscle building activity.

Yeah, honey... TOTALLY expected.

Add the walks back in, subtract the beer (or add a LOT more walking, like 3-5 miles a day to make up for the beer) and you'll start losing again.

Also... stress in some causes weight loss (because their digestive system shuts down) and stress in other causes weight gain (because their bodies start hoarding calories). A BIG trick is to start eating a lot. Not more, just more often. Convince your metabolism that food is readily available and will be consumed on a regular basis and it will (gradually) stop hoarding as many calories. ((Also, if you don't eat enough to make up for the calories you're burning, and to repair muscle from your dancing and workouts your body will ALSO hoard more calories... because it really wants the proteins to make those muscle repairs)). It's why competitive athletes & military types can be stick thin but also be eating 4000 calories per meal. The best way to GAIN weight is to do a traditional "diet".

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I absolutely would get checked out by a doctor to be sure none of the issues the other mom's are talking about could be a root cause. If all checks out then I would say.

Yes, your metabolism could have changed. Except for the beer it sounds like you make great choices with your foods and are cognizant to the need of protein/carb/fat distribution. So, take a hard look at your portions. An example of the appropriate portion of a piece of meat is the size of a computer mouse. NOT what we have been taught.

I don't know how often you exercise but can you up it a little? I'd say do your best to get in 30 minutes of aerobic (fast walking, jogging, dancing, etc...) 6 days a week. If you do that in the morning, can you throw in another 20 minutes to walk in the evening? If you still can't lose email me. I'll send you info on a great program that i think will work for you. I also can recommend a herbal stress reducer that you could take in lieu of those beers.

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E.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi Mama-
After reading through your post, I will say that those little things, like beer, losing your 20 minutes of walking to and from work, etc., make a huge impact on your body. Not at first, because you were burning calories like mad while breast feeding. But when you stop that, your body has to readjust to what it was before you started the whole baby process. You diet sounds phenomenal except for the alcohol. There are alot of calories in beer, even the light beers.

On to the new exercise routine- dancers have very lean bodies- heavy, condensed muscle. In my opinion, you should keep up the dance classes and measure your fattest body areas- your thighs, tummy, upper arms, hips, butt, and waist. Then, once a month, measure again. You should notice fat being burned off of your body. The one thing to watch out for, though, is putting in more calories than you burn. Since you have slighlty upped your caloric intake, you need to up your calorie burn- to more than it was before you had the baby. Facts are what they are- calories in, calories out- you must burn more than what you put in to lose weight. Now, you are not hugely obese- 25-30lbs is totally managable. I know you feel like crud, but that's your body telling you to make a change. You will not lose weight right away, and you should not lose more than a couple of pounds a month to make it a lasting, healthy weight loss.
I encourage you to drop the beers, continue with your eating habits as they are, and keep up the exercise routine. Don't drive yourself crazy- but do measure, for the sake of your own sanity, to see that while the pounds may not shed as fast as you want, those jiggly, soft bits are shrinking, slowly but surely. It is a maddening process, but if you grab it by the horns and are patient, it will work.
Good luck mama.
-E. M

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I would recommend using the website www.sparkpeople.com its a FREE website with lots of tools. I would start to log everything you eat daily. I was surpised that I was eating under the recommended daily intake. Sounds like you are doing the excercise to burn your calories :0) congrats !!! This website also has lots of educated people to help with all your questions and lots of articles.

Good Luck

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

this is basically me.........im still breasfeeding though and actually do have a metabolism problem

perhaps switch it up to red wine instead of beer, and green tea instead of coffee

i rollerblade every single day with a racing stroller and basically deprive myself of the food that i crave in exchange for foods i should be eating, and less of them!, and i am "over 160" as well, my baby is not yet 2, but the weight seemed to just drip off last time i had a baby (6 years ago when i was 21!)

i guess we just have to work harder as we get older, and sometimes it helps me to look around, and know that my struggle is not nearly as difficult as most people i see around me, i have friends who are well over 200, some with gastric bypasses and diabetes....etc...and i know ill never be there, and never have that kind of struggle

and my "fat" just doesnt seem as scary, and it seems more manageable, and its easier to get motivated because it does not seem useless

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello R.,
I think you have answered your own question rather honestly. With the alchol comes wirght gain for some people small amounts will do it, stress is a great reason for weight gain becasue you eat more than you think for comfort and to keep busy.
I gained over a 100 pounds from some medication I was on ( a side effect I was told not to worry about ) and have not gotten it off. I have Arthritis which makes it more difficult to do some exercises but walking is alwasy great and I will bet that after a few months of dance class you will see a big change! I am going tocheck on that tomorrow since today is a holiday. That is something that sounds fun for exercise.
I have a cousin that has 9 children and she has never gained moe than what she was at 18. So good luck with the dance class and enjoy being who you are becasue it has nothing to do with your size. So just keep enjoying your life!
As an added insight when my husband had his leg removed from the hip from cancer-- he told people that it was only a leg not him and that if he was ok inside of himself then nothing else mattered.

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A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

My only thought is to start writing down what you eat and the calorie content. It sounds like your are eating healthy and good but you could be eating too much and that will cause you to gain weight. Also a couple beers every other day isn't helping, that is so much extra calories that you don't need. It really all boils down to one thing burn more than your eat. So if you tried to stay around 1800 calories a day the weight would start to fall off. Good luck.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

One factor you didn't mention is your age. Most of us see a slowdown in our metabolism by around age 40 and that's when weight gain creeps up on us fast. If you're not near that age, it still may be that you have hit an age where your metabolism has slowed down.
The one thing in your diet that I would think most likely would be a culprit is the beer. I've never been a beer drinker, because I just don't like the taste of it, but my understanding is that it is high in calories. I do know that some years ago I got to drinking cherry coke a lot and that put weight on me really fast. I think beer probably has about the same affect as a sugary soda. You might want to try cutting back on the beers or even cutting them out for a while and see if that makes a difference.

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M.F.

answers from Salinas on

stress can definately play funny games, but it sounds like there might be more going on... when that happened to me before kids I found that cutting wheat completely helped. It turns out my body doesn't do wheat and one of the early symptoms I had years ago was excessive weight gain. Another thing is babies mess with our bodies and it may take more excercise to counteract the post baby body... let me know what you find out... i'm on the same uphill battle with 40 lbs to get back down! My 20 month old no longer looks small enough to justify the extra pounds... Also if it helps I eat really well (due to wheat allergy issues there is very little junk I eat usually) and its still such a struggle! cheers

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D.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

OMG this sounds just like me almost to a tee. With exception to the beer & walking to work part prior. I weighted 130-135, never more the 138. Never exercised, I was just always active. I weighted myself almost every day back then. The day I found out I was preggo I jump to 142. Then since I had always pretty much watched my weight I decided yeppie it was a ticket to eat things I hadn't really before even though I didn't go totally crazy. Plus I stopped all the fake stuff... no more fake sugar, no more diet sodas, ect. I went to about 210 during my pregnancy then breast fed til 18 months. At that point I was about 165. Now my son is 39 months old & I'm 200 pounds. Drinking Diet soda & using Slenda. Plus I'm eating like I use to when I was 130ish... My doctor thought for sure "thyroid problem"... I have all the symptoms to a tee w/ the exception of depression. I'm definitely not depressed even w/ the weight issue. I couldn't be happier after such a beautiful angel. I do however have extra stress from others around... work & parents (them putting their problems on me- Helloooo.... I'm their kid not their parents & with a child of my own to see after). Then blood work came up NO. I recently googled it & it said you can have a thyroid problem & blood work come back normal. It also said that if you have all the symptoms you should be treating for it & see if that works for symptoms. I will be making another appointment & pushing the issue. The last time I was at the office, for a cold, I asked him again about my weight as he was about to leave room & he said " weight watchers" and left. I did you weight watchers about 7 years ago & went from 165 (heaviest I had ever been in my life at the time) to 128. I pretty much keep that same weight for years, never ever going over that 138 mark. So I know how it works and how to eat... it's not that. I have a friend that the same thing happened to after three kids then bang thyroid problem. Don't know if it's a coincidence or not. I have no energy & sometimes don't can't even get off the couch... I have to force myself. I need to drink extra caffeine & energy drinks to battle that with only work a little. I'm was hoping now that summer is here I will have a jump start because I'm so active in the summer but so far that's hasn't happened yet. I will be checking back to see what others post. Good Luck!

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C.F.

answers from Modesto on

Have you tried Isagenix? Here is my website: www.cindyflesher.isagenix.com. There is a total body cleanse, as well as meal replacement (250 calorie) bars and shakes that are packed with vitamins and minerals. The cleanse doesn't just target the colon. I gets into the fatty tissue, liver, and other filtering organs to break down impurities so that you good foods and vitamins will absorb. Find something that you like that you will stick to. I do a shake in the morning, and a bar for lunch (run about $2.60 per meal), then watch what I eat with the family for dinner.

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M.F.

answers from Sioux Falls on

It may be a hormonal thing, or your thyroid is off. I would discuss it with your doctor. A thyroid test is pretty simple and inexpensive. If you don't overeat and are active, something else is probably going on.
Also, watch what you graze on. the little things add up! Keep some raw, unsalted nuts, and mix in some dried cranberries to munch on. It keeps the metabolism going, and is not going to add on the pounds, like other snacks.
Another thing I do for hunger, is blend vanilla protein powder with 100% cranberry juice and frozen fruit. (Love blueberries and strawberries). I will not be hungry at all after drinking that. And it's delicious!

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I also think that you should see a doctor about your thyroid. It doesn't make sense that you would gain THAT much extra weight.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I also think thyroid. A few moms I know got a throid condition(Hoshimoto's?) while preggers and afterwards. Also a 15 minute walk you no longer have makes a huge difference. when I was working my job was in NYC and I always walked 15-20 minutes to work or train stations or to lunch, never thought of it as excercise. Then I stopped working and the first two months I noticed a few pounds, although I ate the same and felt I was physical enough. It was my hubs who pointed out I didn't walk as much. Because when you live in a boro you drive pretty much everywhere. In the city it never bothered me to walk 10 blocks, becasue there was always something to see here, I don't even like to walk the two blocks to the deli because it's BORING. So now I just have to pretend I don't have a car and walk to places. But get checked out doesn't sound like you should be gaining, even with the beer.

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D.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

If I were to guess, I would say it's the beer........where do you think the words beer belly comes from? And why are you drinking so much? With a three year old in the house, beer on the weekend, maybe, but every other day? You might want to think about that.......and why.......stress? That could be, but if you are drinking 2 beers at a time, and if something were to happen to the baby, could you drive her to the hospital? Would they think you were drunk when you got there? Does it put you over the limit if you were stopped for a breathalyzer test?

I also think that the walking probably helped you more than you thought......and the coffee with honey in it is still calories you weren't taking before........limit the coffee and the beer, get the exercises going again and you will probably start losing.........

If not, then you need to see the doctor.....

Take care and good luck

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B.P.

answers from New York on

How tall are you? If you are being totally honest with your food and excersize intake then look at other factors like sleep and stress. Also, you may also want to do a CBC and see if everything is ok. I am 5'7 and weigh 159 lbs. I look great and wear and comfortable size 8. Just make sure you are being realistic about your body because I have a friend who is 34 with 2 kids. She is 5 '5 and thinks anything over 145 is fat. Just wanted to throw that out there.

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