Ok, I was invited to a wedding next month and the invitation says to not give any present but to make a donation to make a wish foundation. I would love to make a donation but I am broke, no money to spend. what should I do? not give anything and show up at the wedding? is it terrible to do it? ideas?
Now another dilema - I was invited to a baby shower and my friend is having twins. Should I get two presents for the twins? How does it work? :-)
No wedding gift needed. Just take a nice card... Maybe stick a scratch off lotto ticket inside. Those are always fun. For the baby shower, you could buy a package of diapers and make into a diaper cake. There are instructions online. I use just ribbon, so they are easy to make and easy to disassemble. Always a huge hit--and practical. :)
Hi M.
For our wedding I told everyone 'no gifts' because we just wanted to share our special day with family and friends. I didn't register anywhere. Guess what? We ended up with gifts anyway ! :))
I think you should go , most definitely. If you can't donate, who cares, just go and enjoy the wedding. As for the shower, I'm sorry if I sound tacky but DIAPERS DIAPERS DIAPERS.
Sure its not a cutesy gift but its a needed gift.
Good luck .
Go to the wedding, have fun, don't worry about the present!!
As for twins, I can help you with that one as I'm expecting a boy and a girl in about 4 weeks and I recently had my shower. I mainly registered for diapers, wipes and onesies. Not to sound at all ungrateful, but I really didn't get as many diapers as I was hoping to get, many people strayed from the registry. However, I did also get a few useful things like a baby carrying sling that I hadn't thought of. Gift cards are always wonderful, too, just remember that every little bit helps, don't worry about looking too cheap or like you didn't spend enough, if the mom is any kind of friend she'll appreciate your PRESENCE there and not worry as much about you PRESENTS.
Go to the wedding and don't worry about the gift. They aren't wanting anything more than the joy of your presence. For the baby showere there are lots of gifts that can be used for both of the babies...what about a gift of baby items (toiletries, etc) in a basket. Lotion, shampoo, nail clippers, cotton swabs/wipes, baby oil, wash cloths, medicine dropper; the list goes on, but you get the idea. Baskets or a variety of containers are inexpensive at the dollar tree and you can even buy the shrink wrap that works with a regular old blow dryer that can make the basket look extra professional for presentation.
Enjoy the celebrations.
Solve both problems with one give. Sent what you would spend on the baby gift and send one denation to Make A Wish requesting two acknowledgement cards, one to the bride and groom and one to the expentant mom. Go to both events with a lovely card to the bride and groom indicating that you have made the requested donation and wishing them a life of happiness and good health for all. To the expectant mother, give her a nice card with a note that you have made a donation in her name to help children who are less fortunate than your wish for her upcoming bundles of joy.
It may be necessary to split the donation into two different donations, but it'll all serve the same purpose and your pocketbook won't be wounded, plus, you'll get a tax deduction.
It seems to me that if the couple requested "no presents" then they are more focused on celebrating this special day with their friends and family. By asking for people to donate to a charity, they are simply showing that they would rather people spend their hard earned money on a good cause than on material items they do not need. Sometimes I feel like weddings go overboard with all the presents...you have to bring a present to the bridal shower (sometimes invited to several) then another to the actual wedding! They are breaking tradition to request "no gifts" so why not follow suit and break tradition and not bring a gift!
The wedding is one to not worry about. You can still go. Not everyone gives a present when someone has a wedding!! Remember, they are gonna remember who attended the wedding years from now verses who gave what years from now!!!!
The Baby Shower is a good one!! I would love to buy for both if I were in your shoes, but you could always give a gift card where she is registered.
Good Luck and Have a GREAT DAY!!!
S.
M.,
You can make a small donation to Make a Wish in their names, $5 or $10 is fine. If you can't do that, then I would NOT go to the wedding.
As for the baby shower, one gift is fine. If she is your friend, I'm sure she will understand your financial situation. I can help you get something inexpensive for the babies and help you make some extra $$ if you e-mail me privately at ____@____.com luck!
C.
My mother taught me that you invite people to your wedding with whom you wish to celebrate the occasion. Gifts should be received with delight, not expectation. The same goes for donations to other causes, in my book. Only a tacky person would ask if you made a donation. If you're embarrassed by not being able to give right now (and you shouldn't be - things are tough), the fact that charities are just awful about keeping their lists updated works in your favor. You don't even have to fudge the truth, you can just say that you understand charities don't always have their donation lists up to date.
As a mother of twins, I don't think two gifts are necessary. A box of diapers and a packet of onesies would be very handy and saves you from having to do the double gift thing. While the little outfits and things are cute, I found that the gifts I appreciated most were the very practical ones that didn't necessarily come in duplicate.
Get something for the mom. Like nice Pj's for the hospital stay. Wal-mart is the best finds. Its cheaper than the resale stores. Ross has books for very inexpensive. She will never know if you paid 20 bucks for the book or 3 bucks. They have chrildens bible books too. As for the wedding. No amount went unknoticed for us at our wedding. I dont really like when people use only a charity for this exact reason. Obviously this couple does not need anything, so they want the money to go towards this foundation. Great. See if there is a way you can send money with out the dollar amount showing up. Ten dollars helps even five dollars. Good luck. Hang in there God is in controll...If we remember that he is in controll and we dont try to take over ouselves.
Hi M.
go to the wedding- gifts are always optional in this situation- I am sure your friend will appreciate your attendance
baby gift for two- Might be a good idea to get something simple- like a cup and plate set (2) or just a really nice cosmetic set with lotions etc that the mom could use on both children- or just a basket filled with goodies- like wash cloths, baby wipes, quetips- etc- inexpensive little things that most people don't think about. Hope this helps.
Blessings
As far as the twins baby shower. It depends on what the gift it. You obviously can't give one sleeper or one blanket, etc. But you could give one photo frame that say for ex Twice the hug twice the kisses... Things like this can be found at babies r us. Or just one gift card. Or go to Target and get two onsies that are inexpensive. That would be my suggestion.
Oh diapers are always appreciated too!!
And with the wedding, if you don't have any money I'm sure they would still appreciate you attending. They didn't invite you for money. Go anyways.
I'm bad because I don't feel the obligation to buy gifts for these occasions. I never ask for them, either. I think that you go to the wedding because you want to share in the moment. If you feel "moved" to give a gift--which is what makes it an actual "gift"--then you should do so. Otherwise, give the gift of your love and support for them. Adults should not expect others to finance their decisions--marriage, baby, etc. If someone wants to give a gift, that's wonderful, but it shouldn't be expected. That's rude.
If you must buy a baby gift, get something that they both can use, as was suggested...or just something that comes from your heart for each--individual baby quilts. Oftentimes, people put the cosmetic stuff on their wish lists, not considering all the little things that are really important to have. Then, everybody gets caught up in buying the most expensive or elaborate. Before buying a gift, I like to spend time with the family and see what's actually needed or really wanted. Example: For my friend's baby shower, I didn't buy anything on the list. I went and showered the mother with my love. Later on, I decided to buy one of those back-pack-looking things to carry the baby. I bought it for the father, and he absolutely loved it! This was their first girl (after two boys who are near the double digits), and it was special for him with his daughter.
I would go to wedding. They invited you because they would like you there to celebrate the special day. The baby could be easy...buy one gift that both babies will use, like a tub or baby shampoo.
