Wedding (Guest) Dress

Updated on September 02, 2010
T.O. asks from Los Gatos, CA
26 answers

My husband's best friend is getting married in Lake Tahoe at the end of Sept. & he is a groomsman. This wedding is getting expensive for us, 2 nights at a hotel, tux rental, shower & wedding gift etc. etc. We really don't have extra money to buy me a new outfit... But, I do have a beautiful Diane Von Furstenburg black dress with black boots. Right now it's the only thing that fits me. What to do??

thanks
T.

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C.U.

answers from Omaha on

Black dress yes boots NO! I don't think boots say wedding ever. Find some cute strappy heels and spice it up with some fun accessories. You will be fine!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I think a black dress is classic and timeless. You can't go wrong. Especially if it is an evening wedding. It will be in the Fall so the colors are generally deeper hues anyway. Have fun!

1 mom found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I wouldn't even think twice about it. I love black, it's slimming and compliments my complexion. I wouldn't have a second thought if you wore all black to my wedding or anyone else's for that matter.
If you're really concerned you can add a splash of color like the others suggested, but if you can't afford it, wear what you've got!
Have fun!

1 mom found this helpful

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

really, in our modern world, wearing the same color as the bride is the ONLY fashion taboo.....well, unless you dress like a ....(insert inappropriate word of your choice here, please).

That said, lighten up the dress with a color....whether it be shoes, scarf, jewelry, or a combo. I think strappy shoes would fit better than boots for a wedding. Try for a more festive look & the black will be great! AND honestly, I'm totally okay with black ....even for an elegant look! Have fun!

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Wear the dress, get some strappy sexy heels. NO BOOTS

2 moms found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, I don't like all black at weddings personally. But I usually don't really notice anymore - it is common practice now so I don't think you would look at all out of place. Do you think the bride would care?? However, I really like the idea of adding color somewhere. Maybe borrow some metalic shoes and wear a scarf or beads. Just feel comfortable and have fun.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Wear it! I think people care too much about always wearing a new dress. Adding some color with a scarf or jewelry would be nice. Maybe someone you know might have something you could borrow even.
Black at weddings is ok now, especially for evening weddings. Not sure when this one starts, but I wouldn't break the band to get something brand new.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

if its the right season for the dress go for it. if its black velvet and your going to be hot and sweaty I would suggest going to a thrift store and seeing if you can find something more appropriate for the season. you can get great stuff for little of nothing price wise. good luck

1 mom found this helpful

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'd definitely wear it, and accessorize with a bright or fall colored scarf, perhaps? You could even check your local resale shops or thrift stores for a really unusual vintage scarf... they get lots of that kind of stuff. Inexpensive, and totally original!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

It seems like 30 years ago women didn't wear black to a wedding. Looking back at the weddings I've been to over the past 5 years, many female guests wear black. If it doubt, check with someone in the wedding party (preferably a female) I agree with the shoes instead of the boots. Enjoy, and remember that everyone is focused on the bride (and should be).

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Toni, I have been a event planner for many years and have helped with 200 weddings. Since you are not in the pictures and you arenot in the wedding party. You are not expected to wear anything special at all. If you have a nice slacks suit you could wear that, note that if you were to wear just slacks and blouse it would be to casual for a wedding but look in your closet and see what you can match up, and see what shawls and jackets you have-- I know that my friends and I have checked out one anothers closets as I try to match the color scheme of each wedding. If you have something that is specail that is great. But there is not a need to try and compete with anyone else or to match the bridal party in anyway.
Weddings are expensive and a sacrifice that is made for friends. When you were married you may be surprised at how many people went to the same trouble you are having. Good Luck

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J.M.

answers from Fresno on

Lots of people wear black to weddings. I am sure it will look great and be just fine.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

If the wedding is a formal affair then you need to dress correctly or you will stand out and be...discussed. If it is more semi formal setting, such a s a church or outside then you could really wear a church style dress and fit in accordingly. Something that would fit into an office setting.

We don't have much money, we live on disability and child support from my 2 grandchildren so new clothes are something I don't get. Geez, I haven't even had real, non child shampoo, in months....if I were in your shoes...this is what I would do for myself.

If I were to attend a wedding that is a black tie affair and the guests were expected to wear formal attire then I would start looking at thrift stores and consignment stores for something appropriate to wear. I have never paid over $20 for anything for myself at one of these stores before. And that includes a formal, tea length, beaded gown I wore to a formal ball last year. But that is me, I don't mind wearing clothes that are gently used. Soap works and so does dry cleaning.

If his tux is black then it may look very nice for you to have black on and have coordinating accessories to match the wedding colors he will have on. Such as...if his cumber bun is red you could wear a scarf around your neck that has lots of red in it, red earrings or even a red shoe. Or if his bow tie is aqua, you could wear turquoise jewelry to offset the solid black of your dress and boots. You can play with the look until you find what is just right.

If it were going to be in a less formal setting I would wear one of my nice dress suits I wear to Church. I could also choose to wear a nice blouse with a skirt, hose and heels. With the right accessories such as jewelry and shoes then your look can come off as just right.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Its okay. Especially if the guys are wearing tuxes. My MIL wore a black suede dress to my Christmas wedding.

L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Wear the dress... why not? It is a fall wedding so black is appropriate, and if it fits and you already have the shoes... then whats to think about?

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Toni~
Just add pearls and you're done! Have fun!

Lucy B.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

HI there, I was just in a wedding, mom of the bride and I wore a black dress, got tons of compliments. I got some nice little sandal type small heals at TJMaxx (black with some jewels at the front). I would go with the dress but not the boots. Just doesn't seem right at a wedding especially if your husband is a groomsman. You may have a nice pair of shoes in your closet. Have Fun!

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A.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Personally, I think it's pretty common for people to wear black dresses to weddings these days. But I agree with others who said don't do the boots. I'd go with a pump or strappy sandal and maybe add some color with jewelry and/or a wrap. Hope that helps!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'd wear it--just brighten it up with some accessories/jewelry so it's not like you're in "all black"!

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E.D.

answers from Modesto on

I went to a fall wedding in Tahoe in which my husband was a groomsman, the guys wore black tuxes and had dark red/ maroon cumberbuns, I had a little extra cash at the time so I found a really great dress on sale that was black with dark red accents (the piping and mandarin collar) and paired it with my favorite (highest) black heels... it worked out great, but my fall back dress (in case I didn't have enough money) was also black, and I'd planned to wear a colorful shawl with it... it's totally doable in tahoe in the fall, unless they get married on one of the paddle boats... for that wedding I was glad I wore my (black) pinstripe pantsuit, brrrrr!

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Can you add any color to it (belt, shawl, pin, etc....) that would offset the fact that it is a black dress?

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T.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Go ahead and wear the Furstenburg. I got married in Tahoe 15 years ago and my maid of honor wore black lace. Tahoe is a pretty much "anything goes" kind of town. Don't sweat it. Have fun.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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C.B.

answers from Tampa on

WEAR IT girl! Add a nice broach, a cute shorter jacket or jeweled accented belt or some simple jewelry, do your hair in an updo and have a great time

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N.P.

answers from Modesto on

If you're doing anything outdoors...plan to include something in your outfit to keep you warm..........those outdoor photos can get chilly starting the end of Sept in Tahoe :O)

Whatever you wear will be great!

Have fun!

~N. :O)

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S.I.

answers from San Francisco on

I saw this, and had to respond (as a stylist). Don't wear the boots, don't wear strappy shoes. Wear some really pretty simple high pumps with a bright colored necklace. Think Eva Mendes when she wore that white dress with turquoise necklace at the Golden Globes last year (not that exact necklace, but the idea of it). If you don't have anything, go to Forever 21 and get a cheapie necklace for under $10 - you can't go wrong.

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