13 answers

Wedding - Oswego,IL

Hi Everyone, I need advice, my husband and I are invited to a wedding. I have never said no to a wedding until now. Its my old brother in law, by that I mean he was married to my sister and she has passed away, anyway he remarried and because we have 2 nieces we tried to stay close and have a relationship with his new wife. She has shown us she dosen't want us at their house even though we were invited by my brother in law and we wanted to see our nieces. Anyway I got the hint and stayed away but still see my beautiful nieces. They have children of their own, and his wife dosen't treat them very well. Now her daughter is getting married @ 18tn because her boyfriend is in the navy out of state! I really like her kids but she is such a B. They cancelled their wedding once and decided to marry anyway in October, one of my nieces now can't come with her hubby and the kids because now its last minute and they live in California. I am confused I still care about my old brother in law but he has married a control freak. I think this is her third marrige, shes just not a very nice person. Example, her sister came to visit from out of state and they went to the shedd aquarium<spelling and didn't take my great niece even though she and her Mom live there so my Niece can save money and get her masters degree after a nasty divorce. Oh what to do??????????????????????

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Nothing yet but you guys crack me up, love all of your advice, any way the girl getting married is my bil stepdaughter, no relation to me. Like her don't like her mother, really don't want to be around her.

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Forget the B. If you like the person getting married then go. You can even laugh at the b's face when she sees you there.

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do not go. Just send a gift. Why would you want to deal with the drama?

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A., your post got a little confusing near the end and I had trouble following it, so I'm sorry if I'm not understanding right. I can't tell if the girl getting married is your old BIL's daughter with his deceased's wife, or the new wife's daughter.

If this girl getting married is your sister's daughter, your own flesh and blood, it shouldn't matter that the new wife is a B. You should go. If the wedding is far away and you can't afford the trip, that's a little different.

If the girl is not your own niece, then you are going to have to decide if you want to continue a relationship with her or not. You very likely will not see her much anymore anyway, unless there are family reunions to attend. I know you said you really like her kids - so this decision falls on you to decide if you put your fondness for this girl OVER her mother.

Good luck deciding.
D.

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Forget the B. If you like the person getting married then go. You can even laugh at the b's face when she sees you there.

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Send a nice card with a giftcard saying, "We're so happy for you and pray you have a wonderful time! Please accept this gift as we will not be able to attend but our hearts are full of joy during such a happy time" you don't need to over compensate - that should work.

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You say you like the bride...then go...have a wonderful time and ignore the BIL B of a wife!!! You aren't there for her...you are there for the bride and groom!!! I am sure that your BIL appreciates the fact that you have remained a part of his life.

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Go, and know you're there for your nieces and BIL.

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Not to put pressure on you , always follow what you feel is the best choice for you.
Participate in what you put your heart into.

With that said, Also keep in mind, you represent the closest they can get to their mother. You carry her memories, stories and will always play a special Place in their lives..

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Go for your nieces, otherwise blow the mom off. You don't need to be friends with every family member in order to keep in contact with others.

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