OK I need opinions. Earlier in the week I posted something about teething and my son being very crabby due to teething. I took him to the doctor last week to make sure he didnt have an ear infection, he didnt. But Im going to take him back Monday to make sure again. This child is only happy if Im holding him or hes crawling around getting into trouble. Hes doing the army crawl so hes not too fast. So I can put him down and have about 30 seconds to do something before he gets into something hes not supposed to. I will put of huge pile of toys around him and he will completely bypass all of his toys to get to the fireplace, electrical outlets (I plugged them already), vents, cords/wires, he tries to eat lint, bangs his head on the window sills, you name it, this kid loves trouble!!! He doesnt like his walker, playpen, he can get out of his bouncer chair. He flipped that over last week. So when I try to get anything done I can put him in the highchair for a couple minutes until hes over that, or I can put him in a baby carrier thing and he happy as pie!! But I have reservations about this baby carrier. Besides the fact that hes working on 19 lbs, is he going to require me to always carry him around or will this pass?? What are your opinions about it? Is it going to make him weird and need me ALL the time. Dont get me wrong, I love holding him, playing with, reading to him, all that stuff, but all day long? I cant get anything done. My husband is out of town and my son screamed the entire time I tried to make my daughter dinner last night. And me taking a shower is miserable because he cries most of the time. I dont want him crying all the time, but I cant be with him all the time. Will this pass? Is it weird carrying your baby around in a baby carrier like Im pregnant with I 20 lb baby! Help I need advice!
Alright Ladies, I want to thank you all very much for your support and advice. I was planning on taking my son back to the doctor this weekend to make sure he was still ok. Everything was well until about Saturday night, he started fussing and screaming again. So I told myself, after quite a few of my family members (including my husband) told me to quit freaking out about him, I was taking him back to the doctor anyways no matter what anyone says. Our co-pay is $5, the office is like 30 seconds away, and if nothings wrong I will just get my daughter fitted for a bike helmet (they do that at our ped's office), so either way it wouldnt be a wasted trip. Three words.....DOUBLE EAR INFECTION!!! Yeah what if I would have listened to everyone that told me to stop freaking out?!?! SO lesson learned here Moms, go with your gut and dont let people tell you otherwise. And the baby carrier? I will be carrying him around in it, just for fun because I feel so stinking bad for him!!! Thanks again ladies!!
M. I wore my son until he was almost 18 months. Does that mean he never got down? NO. Wearing your baby creates a very strong bond between mommy & baby. Whenever he was fussy I would put my son in my sling and he calmed right down. It can be a little awkward trying to do housework while wearing a larger baby, but it is possible. My son is now a happy healthy little boy who happily plays by himself when mommy needs to work. I used a Maya wrap (www.mayawrap.com) and loved it!
I actually put him in it again when he was around 2 1/2 (he had an ear infection at the time and was cranky). He immediately calmed down. (Would I have walked around with him in it? Maybe.)
Bottom line, this is such a short time that you have to enjoy them when they are this small - I say wear your baby when you can and sit with them when you can't. You are helping to build a foundation of love and security in another human being - it's only for a short time that you will be able to carry him. It will only be too soon when he doesn't want Mommy to hold him anymore! Take advantage of the time you have!!
Not weird at all! I have worn my son since he was a newborn, and he is almost one year and still loves it. He is over 21 lbs., too. Babywearing makes for a more confident & connected child, and yes, they will outgrow it. My advice is to enjoy wearing him while he wants to be worn. (;
A couple of good resources:
Baby-wearing is great! You can make your own sling or wrap pretty easily if you don't have a carrier that is comfortable enough for long periods (www.wearyourbaby.com). It's especially nice if you're breastfeeding. I use mine pretty often. It won't make him more clingy or dependent--often, it's quite the opposite! LOTS of cultures do it at least until the child can walk (often longer).
Also, you might find that if you are baby-wearing most of the time, your son may not "complain" as much when you need to put him in the playpen or on the floor for short periods (I would only use the playpen when I cannot supervise the child, such as when I'm in the shower).
You can even wear your baby in the shower if you have the right fabric, but I wouldn't recommend it, lol. However, do NOT wear your baby, even on your back, while you cook with any heat source; it's too dangerous.
Speaking of cooking, I love using my slow-cooker; it makes preparing dinner much easier with little ones! I don't have to put my son down to make dinner, because it's been cooking since his morning nap!
Anyway, from your post, it sounds like you've only done the *bare minimum* of baby-proofing (but maybe I'm wrong). You really need to get that done to make the environment safe for your son to live in--it's his home, too! It's not going to get any easier when he starts crawling, walking... and climbing, lol! (My 4-year-old was/is a little monkey!)
He won't die if he eats a bit of lint or dust, so let him explore. I'd be more worried if he NEVER got dirty (does he get playtime outside in the grass?). He's probably going to bump his head a LOT in the next few months while learning to crawl and walk, too. I think as moms, we sometimes have to learn what we should worry about--and what NOT to. ;-)
Relax, this is common, very much so. He has reached an age that involves curiosity, and exploration, it also is an age of needing mom close by. So here is my suggestions based on my own experience with this same type of thing.
First of all a few dust bunnies never hurt any one. I understand being a professional day care worker means keeping a house spotless, but most of us have our lent and dust bunnies and we know where the are. So dont stress over it. My daughter once found a dead rolly polly bug near the fire place and ate it. As gross as that sounds, she is alive and well today.
I think the question is more about what you want to do. Some parents want to carry the baby all day, other parents dont. Either way the children grow up to be perfectly normal people. Because you have a lot of advice on carrying the baby, I will concentrate on the other side of things.
He is interested in learning about his environment and those things like the vents and the cabinets look interesting to him. I had one in particular who very rarely chose a toy over something that I would call real life. He was drawn to exploring his environment and toys were not what he wanted.
I went through my kitchen cabinets and began to pull out things that I knew he could explore without getting hurt. When I needed some time I would distribute them all over the room. Bowls, plastic cups, wooden spoons, pots and pans, lids, spoons, and anything else I could think of. One of his favorites was a tupper ware pitcher with a lid. I would place them far enough away from each other that he had to crawl from one to another in order to explore them. This gave him exercise, wore him out, and kept him happy.
When I knew I was going to be extremly busy and he needed to be a little safer for a few minutes, I placed a few of these things in his play pen with him. He was not one for the play pen either, but if I gave him things that he really wanted to explore he was happy with it. I would hand him the items and then put him the play pen while they were in his hands. He seemed to do better if he was holding them when I put him in.
I got very good a carrying a baby gate from room to room with me. If I was working in a room he went with me and I would put him in the floor with these "new toys". If I was in the kitchen the toys seemed endless. If it was a bedroom he was given things that I had back there and knew would not hurt him. When I folded laudry I let him have a a piece or two to roll around with in the floor.
We developed our own little system and he seemed to adjust well to it. He was definitely an explorer and it sounds like you have one as well. My son had to learn the word NO at an early age. I would grab his hand hold it and say NO whne he reached for something that would harm him. I would then pick him up and move him to something that he could explore. I had a few drawers down low that I cleaned every thing out of and he played with opening and closing them. In time he learned he could put things in them, and close them up.
Some kids are natural explorers and it can take some time to find a way to encourage it while keeping them safe and maintaining your sanity. Use the word NO, he may not like it but it can be a literal life saver. Allow him to explore his world in place of the toys, and relax about the lent. he is just exploring with his mouth. I have dug so many things out of mouths it isnt funny. As long as the hosue is clean and safe he will be fine.
The shower is the one thing that I can say I never figured out. I just got in the habit of putting him in his play pen just outside of the bathroom. I would tell him each time that I was going to take a shower. At first he cried every time. Eventually he seemed to get into the routine and know that every day MOM did this thing. He could cry or play the choice was his.
M....my oldest daughter just had our first grandchild 17 months ago and she "wore him" from day one. I too was afraid that he would never be willing to be left alone, but now he is just a happy, carefree, into exploring everything 17 month old little jewel!!! When they are newborns I think they really do thrive on the closeness and security that they experience from being "worn". I would suggest that you look into several all the different types of things you can buy before you buy anything to wear him. I know that my daughter liked the type that you carry them on one side, when Kieran was younger but now that he is over 25 lbs ( she still uses them for shopping trips etc) she prefers the type that distributes the weight on both shoulders, and she is carrying him either in front or in back. I would suggest looking at Craiglist or at ads in your local newspaper to see if you can purchase a used one, to make sure it is what you and your little one both want.
I would also give some thought to maybe just "showing him who is boss"....it isn't necessary for him to be happy and smiling all the time...if you need him to be in the playpen...put him in the playpen!!! If he fusses...that's ok..he will survive...believe me!! Put a few toys in there with him...let him be where he can see you...and just go on about your business. He has learned that if he fusses you will rescue him...he is just doing what works!!! Is you husband out of town for work a lot?? If so...find a babysitter...get out and do something for YOU...it will give you an entirely new perspective on things!!
I don't think wearing him will make him weird or clingy (in the long run). It may just calm him down for now. My son was very fussy and we went through the same thing. He is now 8, and I would love to have some of that cuddle time back! Do it as much as you are comfortable with.
Otherwise put him in his playpen/crib while you take a shower/go to the bathroom/do what you need to do, and he will be okay.
As usual, go with your gut, you will almost always be right!
Oh, M., I had to laugh at your post...it was funny! I think like you sometimes and it was nice to know I'm not to the only one who worries over some of this stuff! I can't say I really have much advice in this area, but I am pregnant with my second and have considered wearing that baby too b/c I am constantly moving and chasing my older child, so I was interested in your responses. But, I do have to say, do whatever works for you!!! If it makes you both feel better to wear him, then do it! I'm sure he'll grow up perfectly fine and well adjusted, as the others have said. If you can get over the crying and can leave him be while you're showering, cooking, etc. I think that would be perfectly fine too. One thing I had to learn quickly about motherhood was do whatever works for you and your baby and go from there! Lastly...just wanted to put in my props for the Maya wrap. I used mine (very infrequently, but I used it) with my first and I liked it. As I said, I'm sure I'll have to figure it out completely when number 2 comes along! Good luck!
I had to laugh (sorry) this is one of the reasons why I don't want to have another baby...BOTH of mine did this and I have a bad back so I COULDN'T carry them around. What I did was sit down and give them really good attention, turned on the TV and tried to get them visually stimulated or interested in something else.
Now my BFF is extremely atheletic and she had bought one of those baby carriers that they use for hiking and she'd toss her kiddo in and go about doing her chores. That way, he wasn't on the front of her like the Baby Bjorn and other carriers where they might get in the way or get hit but he was still close and happy.
I am a firm believer in wearing your baby. I only have two, my first I was so worried about spoiling (as so many told me) and I wore her some, but not so much), my second I wore out of necessity to keep up with my first and go out and all. My first is much more clingy. Mostly, thought it makes your life easier. Starting at 7 months is a bit harder, as when you start earlier, your body adjusts as their weight adjusts! Mostly what I wanted to say is not all baby carriers are made equal. If you know anyone to try them from, DO IT. Baby Bjorns were TERRIBLE on my back, but my maya wrap and wrap sling were not. Both my kids (almost 5 and 2.5) still love to get in the sling (it's so familiar and comfortable) for about 1 minute then want to run and explore on their own. I am an LLL-er, and the most important advice I received from going to LLL meetings, that is... do what is best for YOUR family, they're not all the same.
Hi! Sounds like you have a little explorer! I have a feeling he is frustrated because he doesn't have the abilities to move as quickly as he wants to and get what/where he wants as quickly as he thinks of it! That could be one possiblity. I think you are wise to try and rule out anything physical (ear infection, etc) because a change in behavior always means something!
It is FINE to wear the baby in the carrier, and it won't make him a mama's boy or cause more issues...he may just need a bit of extra security right now or extra comfort. If you are concerned about the weight on your back, however, remember that it is okay to put him in his crib and let him cry for a while so that you can complete a task. I HATE to do this, but my fifth was extremely high maintenance and I had to do it now and then for sanity and practical reasons. I would make sure he was dry, fed, nothing hurting, etc., give him some snugglings and tell him that it was time to play and I'd be back to check on him.
It sounds like he is very bright and curious...try to remember this while you are going crazy :) Hang in there...this too shall pass! I'll bet when he starts to crawl, he'll be happier and maybe even be an early walker...this is what mine did, and he now plays happily by himself for large amounts of time.
Also...have you thought about baby sign language so he can communicate a little bit to you???
I have worn my son since he was born. First in a Moby wrap and a sling, and now in a Mei Tei, Kindercarry, and Ergo. I love the bond that I have created with my son. At 22 months, he does not require being carried everywhere, as a matter of fact, although he loves to be carried, he usually wants to be running around and walking himself. There is a lot of research and literature out there about the benefits of baby wearing for both mother and baby; if you are interested in a few I will be happy to pass it along. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
I know it feels weird, but it works. Both of my younger children loved to be in the sling. I joked there was only a few things I could not do with the baby attached to me.
Both boys liked the sling until about 18 months. Then they wanted down to run to things. My house stayed full of toys and stuff for many years, really only 4.
Now the boys are 10 and 12. They grew up so fast.
Find a sling or carrier that works for you. Good luck and enjoy your Mother's Day.
Baby wearing only creates a stronger bond between you and your child. Most other cultures wear their babies until they can walk. Do what you need to do to get things done. In the meantime, your son will be seeing things from your point of view and this will make him happy. Also, studies have shown babies who are worn, talk sooner because they hear everything that you are saying and you are more prone to talk to him if you're wearing him. If you want to read up on attachment parenting you should check out books by Dr. Sears. Good luck!
I would put him in a playpen or whatever you need to keep him safe and out of things so that you get some things done. Put some of his toys with him. It will be okay if he cries. If you can see that he is not hurt then he is just doing it as he is now used to crying and you holding him. How does your daughter get any you time? He will get over this, you just need to help him, by making him wait for you. A little crying never hurt a baby.
He sounds like a normal baby boy. They can be much needier and want their mommies all the time. :)
I would let him crawl around as much as possible, but when you have to get something done, the sling or carrier is a great idea. There will be no lasting spoiling effects, I promise. I would try a moby wrap, though, because it was much more comfortable for me than the baby bjorn or jeep front carrier, etc. If yours is comfortable, no problem, but they can hurt the back and shoulders, especially when he is so large. The moby wrap takes a couple of tries to figure out, but then you can do it in a snap. I found it very helpful to get anything done outside the house as well. Don't worry; it will get easier!
At 7 months old? he is probably going through a phase of seperation anxiety. Buy a playpen and put it where he can see you or close enough where he can hear you and put him in it when you are too busy, or too tired, to continue holding him. I also don't condone TV as a babysitter, BUT you could buy some educational tapes and put them in so he can watch them when you have to take a shower, etc.
Hope this helps.
Take care and God Bless :)
I read some of the other responses and therefore had to edit my response:
I never baby proofed my house. My three children (now 20, 19, and 15) learned what they were and were not supposed to get into. It amazes me how moms (like me) have done things the "traditional" way for so long, and amazingly our children are strong, independent, and yes: safe.
I have to also add: Is anyone out there aware that Dr. Spock who was such a "baby" expert, his son committed suicide???? when he was a teenager. I'm not trying to mean, just a small fact I thought I'd throw in.
I know this is a bit late, but my daughter loves to be worn! After hours of research while I was pregnant & a couple of expensive mistakes, I found a wrap that is fabulous! And rather cheap @ $39.95... it is called the Sleepywrap. It is like the Moby Wrap as it is just a long piece of material, but it is elastistic, so you don't have to really adjust the way you put it on. One size fits all & once you have the different ways to "wrap" it, it is a breeze. I take it wherever we go & my daughter is happy as can be. I also can do housework in it, but since she is only 3 months, I am still wrapping her in front & it makes things more difficult. Since he is 7 months & seems quite strong, you could put him on your back & be off! Everyone keeps telling me I'm going to spoil her & she won't want anyone else & it will be hell when I go back to work...I'll let you know how it turns out. Right now, she is a VERY good baby...only cries when dirty, hungry, or tired. Sleeps through the night (8 or 9 hours!) & does not throw a fit if others (even people she has not met) hold her. I am not attributing all of this to my babywearing, BUT...she seems like she is pretty well adjusted at this point. The site is www.sleepywrap.com. I loved them so much, I bought 3 & will probably get more when I wear these out :)Can't beat them @ $40! Good luck!
I have read research somewhere (sorry I don't have a link for you) that wearing baby INCREASES confidence and independence and REDUCES seperation anxiety by allowing babies to CHOOSE when they have had enough. By letting them lead, they get to make the choice and they aren't thinking you are 'leaving' them, and this builds stronger esteem, sense of self, and character.
ALWAYS trust your gut NO MATTER WHAT!! YOU ALONE know your son best....your baby was formed in your womb and you were literally one being for over half his life so far!!
no, it will not harm your child to be carried. BUT, wouldn't you prefer him to learn to be self-soothing & independent.....there are times when you won't be available (working, taking a shower, etc) when he's going to have to be capable of soothing himself.
As for his need to explore, let him! In one of my early childhood Ed classes, it was mentioned that there should be no more than 4 No-No's in any room. It was highly recommended that we do as much as possible to provide a safe & secure place for little ones to enjoy, thrive, & be able to live in without being constantly reprimanded or redirected.
Put a comforter on the edge of the fireplace hearth...this is what I do during the off-season. During the winter, we use a lattice/wood gate all the way around the fireplace (to prevent burn injuries). All cords/wires should be hidden...I have all of mine blocked off by furniture. As for windowsills, hooray for him....he's trying to explore! That's what this age group does! By nine months, both of my sons were fully-capable of exploring the entire house - either by army crawling or cruising....& I mean the whole house - up & over furniture even. Not much could stop them!
There is also no harm in using a play pen or his bed. That's how he will learn to embrace a "safe zone". Put on some soothing music, give him some fav toys/books....& do what you need to do! Don't let him bully you into feeling guilty over not holding him....seriously, he's old enough to be responsible for self-soothing or to learn the skill! Yes, he's a baby...but no longer a newborn requiring your every breathing moment. It won't hurt him to learn new skills!
That said, I sincerely wish you peace. I hope which ever method you chose creates peace & harmony in your home!