Weaning for the Breast to Bottle

Updated on March 11, 2008
T.L. asks from Ortonville, MI
30 answers

My 8 week old daughter absolutely refuses a bottle. She will go into a screaming, crying fit, bite down on the nipple, flail her hands and feet to fight it, etc. We have tried just my husband feeding her in all positions, we have tried, Dr. Brown, and all playtex and advent bottles. She won't take it and i am leaving town and going back to work in 5 weeks. My child is going to starve.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

It has now been a week and it worked. I went away and she just did it and has done it ever since. Thanks for the help.
Well, so far it has been two days of starvation. She went 7 hours yesterday and 8.5 today. VERY stubburn little girl. Doctor told us to feed her formula in the bottle, that she may be attaching that breast milk is coming from the wrong place and she wants that milk from me. The Dr also said to only give her the breast first thing in the AM and last thing in the PM. Let her starve it out and offer her formula during the day. Said to make sure she is having wet diapers every day and if she is not, she is dehydrated and we have to give in and give her the breast. Well see what happens next.

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H.G.

answers from Saginaw on

Stop confusing her with all the different nipples for one thing. Just pick one and stick with it. Also in my experience with my 3 children is that if you are nowhere to be seen they will eat. If dad is the one feeding and she still knows that you are there she will want you. She may cry for a little while but I have never seen a baby starve themselves to death she will eventually eat.

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H.W.

answers from Detroit on

Most may dissagree with this but it worked for my older son- I put a small amount of Karo syrup on the nipple to get him to take it and after a couple of times he never refused it again. Good Luck!

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N.K.

answers from Detroit on

Daughter did the same thing. The only thing that worked like the doc said it would was the GERBER NUK ORTHODONTIC NIPPLE. It goes on ANY standard cheap bottle and it is most likely shaped like a woman's nipple. If you look at it , it really is. My g- friend had the same problem and her doc said the same thing. Get the right flow ... you would need the 0-3 month flow . Good luck and it might take a few days to get used to it but she will and NO they won't starve they will eat when they are hungry. I always said that too. You'll be amazed at how well she adjusts.

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M.L.

answers from Detroit on

I would definitely have someone you trust come over for a whole day. You need to leave the house so baby doesn't smell your milk around. Have that person offer the bottle. I have found that Avent works well for breastfeeding babies. She may put up a fight. It's ok. As others said, she will reach a point where she is too hungry to care. It only takes one day. You need someone whose heartstrings are going to get pulled so much that they call you back in 2 hours. They need to stick it out with a crying baby. But make sure it is someone who has a lot of lvoe and patience so they don't ever shake the baby, yell at her, or treat her poorly.

She will take it, I have never met a baby at that age who didn't. You are right for doing it now. The window of opportunity for giving a baby a bottle is generally 4-8 weeks.

Good Luck!

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

Try Nuk nipples. I nursed both of my boys and used bottles. Both of them would only use Nuk nipples. The Nuk worked well with my friend too. The nipples are flat.

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T.B.

answers from Detroit on

Talk to your breastfeeding specialist. Although her specialty is getting the child to breastfeed, she probably has ideas on how to get them to take a bottle as necessary.

Good luck. What a pinch! My sympathies to you. My second is a handful of a child (and also a girl) and caused all sorts of similar issues. I can't say it is getting any better with age. I think she was put here to make me realize I have more to learn as a parent.

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B.D.

answers from Detroit on

You can cup feed. Where you put your breast milk into a small cup, like a medicine cup and pour small amounts in. Or you can try using a large medicine dropper and squeeze swollows at a time. I know it is frusterating! Big hugs!

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

No, she won't. What she may do is stop eating while you're away and make up for it while you're home. That's helpful for the work situation, but not the going away one...

Bottles are quite a new invention, in human history... so it is possible to get food into child in more than one way. Contact a La Leche League Leader for suggestions on the use of:

finger feeding
small cup
spoon
syringe
cloth
sippy cup

As has been suggested by others, you may want to reconsider leaving her at home when you go away. There is no additional expense involved in taking her along, and it is astonishing the number of people who will quietly work around an inevitable baby when if they were asked would have said 'absolutely not' to its presence.

As it has been said by wiser mouths than mine: this time in your baby's life is VERY short and will be gone forever very soon. Will another 2 months make a huge lot of difference in your life? It will make a huge lot of difference in your baby's.

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

there is a bottle by the adiri brand that is almost exactly like a breast in the shape and softness of the silicone. most babies who won't take a bottle will find this a great breast substitute, i highly recommend it. i know that indigo forest in ann arbor has them. also, next time your husband tries to feed her, go away, as in not in the house. baby can smell you even if your not in the room and obviously loves you more than a bottle. it may take some time, but keep trying. mine was the same way :)

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

Have yo tried something transitional to help her like finger feeding or dropper feeding? You can get tubing from the hospital or a medical supply store that you hold against your finger & drop the milk from a plunger at the other end of the tube. I also recommend that you never be the one to try & introduce a bottle. That can be very confusing & upsetting to a baby. If you are nursing - it is possible too that she could literally skip a lot of her daytime feeding in favor of more active night feedings. My son did that when I went back to work & he took a bottle fine...he just preferred to eat from the breast, so he ate a LOT in the evenings. He did prefer the Natures' Best bottles, I think they are available on-line through target. If you keep trying I am certain you will find something that works for you both. Just don't let it upset you - every child is different - you just have to find what works for them & that takes trial & error.

Best wishes!

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A.A.

answers from Toledo on

Does she take a pacifier? If she takes one like the soothie, there are bottles made by soothie that have the same nipple as the soothie pacifier. My son did some of this last year when he was 6 weeks old because I was going back to work also. I got my sister to give him 1 bottle of breast milk while I was gone, until I couldn't keep up with the pumping then we gradually put him on formula during the time I was at work. (I'm only gone 4 1/2 hrs a day) But my point is, now that we are completely weaning from the breast, he is 15months and insists on a early morning & right before bed nursing, he prefers a cup during the day.

Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Detroit on

I had the same problem with my son. Once I started to warm up the formula he took the bottle without any issues. He is now 6 mths old and he still likes his formula and food warmed up. Hopefully this helps!

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

My first question would be why are you leaving town for work when you will have a 3 month old infant? I don't think it has anything to do with the bottle or type of nipple you use...she wants YOU!. That should be a big clue you should reconsider your work situation. What could be more important than your infant?
But...if you must go, she won't starve. She will eat eventually, traumatic as it may be for her.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi T.,
I nursed my son for a year, and he hated the bottle for a few months. He would just wait it out--they say babies know what is best. However, I had to go away for an entire day when he was about 3 months old. He did not eat the whole day until I got home, but after that he never had a problem. He figured out that he better take the bottle. Also, have you tried different bottles? I have heard a lot of mothers had luck with that as well.

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R.M.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I am sorry for your situation. I nursed my daughter as well and although I didn't have to go back to work, I eventually got very sick with a prolonged illness and tried desperately to put her on a bottle. She positively refused. I never was able to get her to take one. I've read that this is a common problem with nursed babies and that a bottle should be used periodically pretty much from the beginning to ensure that this sort of thing doesn't happen. I wish I would have understood that more clearly when I had first had her... it would have saved A LOT of heartache and desperation! This was awhile ago (she is seven now) and it is all a thing of the past. Eventually this ordeal for you will be too but in the meantime my best advice would be to just stay positive and do whatever needs to be done. All we can do is our best and what seems like an impossible situation will eventually (and sooner sometimes than we think) be over. Sincerely ~ R.

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C.T.

answers from Detroit on

Hi T.,

Have you tried having someone else, like Dad or another family member feed with a bottle? i went through that for a short time with my daughter and I had my husband feed her with the Advent bottle. It worked out well for her. I know it's tough, I'll keep you in my prayers.

C.

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M.L.

answers from Detroit on

Hi T.! I hope that things are going better with the bottle. If she's still having trouble, I highly recommend the Adiri bottles. I have twin girls that I wasn't able to nurse long, and they took them immediately. They are shaped just like a breast and are incredibly soft. They are durable and very easy to clean and fill and feed. They are a little on the pricey side, but in my opinion extremely well worth it. I ordered mine online, but I believe they are now available at babys r us. You probably would only need one or two. They are a definite must have for anyone with multiples. The very best bottles that I have ever used!

Best of luck to you!

M.

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W.P.

answers from Detroit on

I havent had the chance to use them yet but i am planning to with this baby but i heard the first years breastflow bottles work wopnders. the nibble is disigned like the breast and uses compression and sucktion to produce flow you can go to babiesrus.comand type in breast flow to see a video about them. hope this helps

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

My son did the same thing. I had to start leaving the house for several hours at a time. Also make sure they aren't in the same spot where you sit to nurse. You might even need to take her to a different house, like grandmas. The only bottle that my son would take is the Breastflow. I think it is by first years. I could only find them at Babies R Us. They have 2 nipples and the milk simulates "let down". I would try those it worked for me.

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

T.,

When your baby gets hungry enough she'll take the bottle.. I had this problem when I weaned my son from breast to formula at 9 months. He would not take the formula and my milk was not coming in anymore and so he skipped a feeding, wouldn't take the bottle, fell asleep, but when he woke up he was so hungry that he finally took it!

Good Luck!

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K.F.

answers from Detroit on

Dear T.,

I know exactly how you feel. My daughter was three months old when I had to go back to work. We tried for three weeks before to wean her and she would have NONE of it. We tried all bottles and even the neighbor came over while I hid in a closet upstairs! I tried the Adiri bottle that looks like a boob, cup feeding, finger feeding, you name it. Nothing worked and I had to take her to daycare. I was a nervous wreck. She drank 4 oz. in the first day and only 2 oz. the second day. They were able to do it though. It took a good week and a half for her to catch on. I felt so bad for her, but eventually she got hungry enough and figured it out. Your daughter will also get it. Don't worry.

As for all the mothers who are trying to shame you and guilt you for going back to work... ignore them. Everyone has there own opinions and hopefully they know that we want to be with our children, but circumstances don't allow us to stay at home. I worry all the time, but I have watched my daughter become a social and independent little girl whose verbal skills and reasoning are out of this world. She is lucky to be in a fantastic daycare where they care about the kids. She will grow up to see that I am a strong woman who contributes to our family. Shame on the mothers who wrote those things on here. T. is asking for help and advice, not to have quilt heaped on her head.

K.H.

answers from Detroit on

It took 4-5 different kind of bottles before my daughter would take one (she likes the playtex drop-ins nursers). Another thing, are you still in the house? Babies can smell their moms and know if they are there and OF COURSE would rather have you than the stinking bottle!! Try leaving the house for 3-4 hours and have your husband give her a bottle after you've been gone a while.

Your baby won't starve. I promise. She'll eventually eat. She'd just rather have you and she's showing you that.

If she won't take a bottle, try a cup. It might be a little messy, but maybe try one of those sippy cups where there isn't a valve so you have to suck. One of the cheapy ones that will leak if turned up side down that way she doesn't have to suck much but it won't flood her face either.

When my daughter started daycare it took usually an hour after I left in the morning before she'd take a bottle. If I stuck around at all, it'd take longer. Whomever is giving her the bottle has to just keep offering it every 15-30 minutes until she takes it. Don't try to force it on her - she'll take it when she's hungry.

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T.H.

answers from Detroit on

I had similar issues with my 2nd son but was fortunate enough not to have to travel at the time. I had very good daycare and they worked with me on it. After 2-3 weeks, he was finally eating good for them, but still would not take a bottle from me.

Good luck!

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

Do you have to use a bottle at this point? Do you absolutely have to return to work so soon? Why are you leaving town when the baby is so young - or can she go with you?

I think this baby is telling you in the only way she can that she needs you and wants to nurse. I am very uncomfortable with the Babywise approach and it seems your daughter is too. Maybe she's read the book. She's pretty smart, I think. Every baby is different and they all need a lot from their moms for a long time, and it can be pretty inconvenient and frustrating. I know you had this planned out, but you may need to rethink your plans to meet this tiny baby's needs. Parenting isn't an exact science but a complex, highly emotional journey that requires a lot of sacrifice and giving by the grownups so our vulnerable, little ones can be healthy and emotionally strong.

If she gives in and does what you want, what price is she paying? Will she feel she can trust you to meet her needs and make her feel secure and cared for? I'd say you need to listen to what this child is telling you and think, if you were in her place, what would you need? You have plenty of time to show her who's boss, but she's only 2 months out of your womb! Her emotional and physical needs are YOUR responsibility at this stage. She's counting on you!

G. B.

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J.D.

answers from Saginaw on

It took a month of continual trying for my daughter to adjust to the bottle. I started at about 8 weeks also. Nuk bottles helped the process slightly. I started her with 1 feeding/day in the AM for a week or so. I didn't have much success until I switched to 2 back to back feedings/day. She didn't have much to do with the 1st feeding, but by the second she was starving and would actually drink the bottle (at least for a few ounces).

Keep trying! She'll figure it out.
Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

Have you tried different types of nipples, not just differnt types of bottles? How much of a chance are you giving each one? How about having someone who is not as emotionally tied to your daughter and who is an experienced bottle feeder come over to try to help her learn to take a bottle?
Your baby is not going to starve - you will figure out a way to make this situation work. I know this sounds a bit harsh, but I say it to try to make you realize that this situation is frustrating and maybe even scary, but it is not as grave as you think it is.
Also, are you trying to give her formula or breast milk from the bottle? If it is formula, she may be fighting that as well. Try to pump breast milk for her.

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

You might want to try cup-feeding. Babies can cup feed at this age, so don't be discouraged. I have heard it works wonders in these situations.

P.A.

answers from Detroit on

have your husband wear one of your night shirts, or a shirt that smells like you.

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M.W.

answers from Lansing on

Try the Breastflow Bottles from The First Years. You can find them at Babies R Us. Same thing was happening to my cousin's daughter. I sent her these and she took 4 oz from hubby while mom was at the dr with her other child. She had tried all sorts of bottles, but these feel very similar to the breast and how it flows. Also you may try Adiri bottles...they are more expensive and I have no personal experience with them, but have also heard good things about breastfed babies taking them.

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A.T.

answers from Detroit on

I have a daughter that is 3 months old. I am putting her in daycare starting tomorrow. She wont take a bottle either. The only bottle she will try to latch to at least without crying is the breastflow bottles by the first years. Another bottle I would reccomend trying it the gerber nuk bottle, these bottle are supposed to work like the breast and the first one is just like they were nursing. I got the breastflow at Babies R Us, but I am sure that you can find it at other stores. Good Luck

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