Was Needing Advice, Everything Is Fine Now.

Public school is not allowed to tell you your child needs medication. This is illegal. They have to be very careful what they say. Only a doctor can diagnose ADHD. There are herbal remedies out there and safe things that you can use if your child is diagnosed with ADHD. I would check into that before I put him on that medicine. Before I was a stay at home mom, I was a teacher and before that a Pharmacist assistant. These drugs are controlled substances that only the pharmacist is allowed to count and bottle. They stayed in a locked drawer and could not be touched by anyone but a pharmacist. So I would definitely think about it long and hard before I put my child on one of these drugs. Check out the alternatives.

I don't know about this but I do know I would look into changing schools. If you are in the Columbia SC area school choice selections begin today. www.richland2.org to look it up. Contact the School Board, your Congressman, someone who should be able to help. If all else, homeschool. There are some wonderful resources available as well as homeschool network available no matter what state you are in. If you believe in prayer, then have your son pray with you every morning and night-you will see change. I have my 2 yr old pray about his behavior when he's throwing a tantrum. I will look for your solution.

J., I have a step-daughter who has been on adhd meds since she was 6. At 6 yrs. old, she weighed 50 lbs. She wore 6x and 7 in pants. Now at 11 yrs old she only weighs 67 lbs and she only wears a 7-8 in pants. She has hardly grown the last several years. I honestly believe the meds have stunt her growth. She hates the way the meds make her feel and she is so thin you can see her ribs poke thru her shirts. She wants off the meds but her mom won't take her off of them. Over the years she has grown out of hyperactivity. No one just doesn't want to take the time of day to enforce good behavior these days. I hope this helps you in making your decision. As smart as your son sounds the school should give him more advance work, not hold him back saying that he can't take advance classes until next year.

I had the same problem when my son was only 5. He attended two different schools at that age because we moved and both schools wanted the medication. When we moved a third time that school also insisted we have him tested and medicated. All of these schools were private schools so they COULD insist. We were told that if we did not take care of the problem he would have to leave, they had plenty of "normal" children on the waiting list. Needless to say we removed him from that school anyway but we did put him on medication. Initially he too was depressed, etc so the doctors tested different strengths, etc. until we found the right dose. It did not affect his "attitude" he acted like my beautiful little boy but he was able to sit and learn in school. Each year we continued the medications. If a teacher didn't believe in the medication (Christian school) we would take him off, his grades would plummit and the teacher would agree we needed to put him back on. I believe that WITHOUT the medication he would have been a troubled child in school struggling with grades, etc. Instead he was honor roll each year, and graduated with honors and a full scholarship. I pray that later in life there are no health affects because of the childhood medication but I know that without medicating through school his adult life would have been much different. ADHD children are VERY smart. I believe they need a little help to allow there brains to function at the high level they are capable of. His life is/will be much better because we medicated. Of course, there are many who do not agree but I just know this was our experience. I hope this helps.

J., my son has adhd and no one can make you give him medication. If he is disrupting the class well he has special needs and they need to work with him and give him more breaks then other children it's in the reading materials most dr's give you about adhd and school. Sometimes medications works great for some kids others not it's the same with any medication. Home schooling may or may not be what you are able to do it is an option, I don't home school my son because I think he needs interaction with others and I dont' think my son would learn as well with me as his teacher. Here's some websites that have helped me in the past adhd.kids.tipod.com and healthyplace.com ...I don't think your son will learn very well in a special ed class they usually have 6 to 8 children of different ages in the class sometimes more and they all have very different special needs and sadly many times (not all) it's more like a child care babysitting day then a learning day for a child. I can say this because I have been there and done that. A child that has problems with sitting still will not get the level of education he should be at if all he has is adhd I also have a dr you may want to call and get an appointment with at least look at her website and consider it Dr. Christine Gustafson ###-###-#### www.gustafsonm-d.com and call Families of children under stress website focus-ga.org they are very supportive and helpful as well and can give advise (they have helped me and my family I consider them angels). I hope you get some info that helps you for someone any of us or a group and are armed with info to help you and your child/family. My best wishes to you, you are their advocate!

No, a school system cannot force you to medicate your son, but they also will not be able to educate him if his behavior is interfering. His teachers have the best intentions, as do you, you should all work together to find a solution that will benefit your son (classroom modifications/interventions and possible other meds. you haven't tried). Otherwise, he will only continue to struggle, and believe me - his struggles will get worse as he gets older. Third grade is a transition year where more responsibility is placed on the student, and more and more will be added each year. Hope you and the school can work together and be open-minded for your child's sake - good luck!

Also, no need to pay out of pocket for a psychologist, every school system has their own who do the SAME tests - they are doctors, not teachers, and they report their findings fairly to the parents and teachers and then offer suggestions to help.

Hey J.,
I have not had experience with ADHD, but ou might want to look into natural remedies, holistic medications and even doctors. You might find foods that may help your child and his attention span at school. I am not familiar with the school systems' policies, but they should not be able to force you to medicate your child. They will recommend that you seek treatment for his behavior and give you altermatums, but no demands. That is strictly up to you. That may mean that you will need to find another school, but dealing with his ADHD is priority, not the school. You have to take all of that into consideration, even in your meeting next week. Pray about what you should do and spend some time in research and talk to your son about how he feels and how they make him feel at school. If the teachers and staff are isolating him, then they are in the wrong. But if he is not able to be controlled, then something else needs to happen if he is going to interact with society on a daily basis in a public school environment. I hope that helps.

Good luck on your meeting.

Hi, J.. I am a special education teacher in Georgia. No, they cannot make you put your son on meds. I don't know if they have already tried to have him evaluated for special education due to his attention difficulties; if not, they may suggest it at your meeting. Whether or not you approve of this or whether or not he would qualify for the special ed. program, it is against the law for public schools to require your son to be on meds. In fact, I have been told not to request this of parents because, if the parents were smart enough, they would know that if the school says a child needs meds, then the school is responsible for paying for the medication and doctor bills associated with it.

Being a special education teacher who works with children with ADHD, I have seen some students become more successful in school as a result of their meds, but I have also seen those whose meds don't really make a difference. I would have to say that most of my students who achieve success in school, whether they are on meds or not, come from a home environment that is involved, supportive, warm, and caring. It seems like you are this type of parent. There ARE ways for him to be successful without meds.

I don't know many details of your sitatuion. I would suggest that before your meeting you get a copy of your parental rights (that are available from your school's special education department) and be familiar with them. Hope this helps. Let me know if you need any more advice!

W. S.

I have two children with ADHD issues. The school cannot FORCE you to medicate your child. They can intimidate you into doing it.

Here is the larger question. Do you want to continue to deal with the hassle of this school? I am not a fan of public school. I understand it is the only option for many. My children were not gaining anything while there. Their self-concept was taking a dive. Some teachers are very knowledgable about ADHD, and some think it is just a behavior issue that can be "fixed".

I decided to homeschool my children. I know them best. Then I found K12.com. A public school in our state that we can belong to from home. Now is my child wants to hang upside down on the couch while I read to him, who cares? He is listening and learning without condemnation.

You should know that we do meds. but we do them because they work for us. Not because someone forced us to.

Never give up. You know your child better than ANYONE.

"A child may not always remember what you say, but he will remember how you made him feel."

No, you do not and don't my grandson was on the medication and the DR said that contributed to future drug use. They will tell you it does not, but research has shown that it does and with the proper diet and natural remedies this can be taken care of the right way. My cousin is a teacher and she always ask parents to take children off sugar and so much starch in their diet, spend time reading with them and research natural vitamins, etc. Most teachers are not like her and they just want to keep them still while they are in their class....it is the easy way out for most. Fight with all you have to make sure they do not medicate your child for their sake. Discipline and a lack of sugar helps a great deal plus there is a product called NRG that you can get through Herbalife Distributors that helps with concentration and does not cause all of these other things. Please, I beg you not to do it.....my son-in-law listened and he has always been sorry. Hope this helps with your decision.
D. Jenkins

My child has been on medication for 5 years and believe me you want to get him off and keep hjim off even if you have to home school him!!! My child was bright but hyper active, now he is 12 and in the 4th grade! All this was done when he went into foster care because I left his abusive father! I had planned to take him off of it last summer but a man I was living with slapped them while I was away and they were taken from me again! But he is so sweet and all he needs is love! If you redirect a child that is hyper and giv ethen frequent rewards the behavoir stops!

Listen email me at ____@____.com if you want to.

Hey J.. I don't know for sure but let me tell you I have been around and around with my daughter who had special needs and I fought like you know what. I do NOT believe they can make you do that!!!! BUT, I have a name of a Lawyer that only handles educational issues. I believe he would probably give you some sort of an answer over the phone. Doesn't hurt to call.
His name is Torin Togut. ###-###-####
Just wondering what county does your child attend? Hope I was somewhat helpful. M.

I am the mother of two children with ADD. My son, now 21, was tentatively diagnosed at age 3. I tried diet, positive reinforcement, every alternative to medicine I could find until about midway through kindergarten. His impulse control was so poor he stayed in trouble and the school was recommending he be put in a behavior disorder class. I broke down and with the help and guidance of an excellent physician, put him on ADD meds. The improvement was remarkable. He told his teacher, "this little pill is my ticket to self-control!". He stayed on meds until highschool when he had better coping skills. Without the meds, school would have been even more difficult for him and I could see his self-esteem slipping away. The right doctor and right meds & doseage can be a blessing. C. Branch

No, of course a public school cannot force medication-- but if you've been through meetings with your child's school before, I'm surprised you didn't know this, since they're required by law to give you a parents' rights handbook at every meeting. If you haven't received this, ask them-- they must provide it, and just their knowing that you know about your rights can go a long way. A public school is bound by the laws of your state, which you can research online, but remember that private schools are not, so they can refuse students for any reason. And even though charter schools are public schools, they, too, have their own rules, which you'd have to research to be sure of. A public school can, however, force a child to transfer to another school in the same district/ county if that school has better resources for your child-- i.e., a special class, more tutors, smaller classes, etc.-- because they are required by law to provide the "least restrictive environment", and another school in their system might provide that. Good luck!

Hey J.,

I will give you my opinion about medicating your child. Of course it is only my opinion. Although your child is making straight A's if they are a distraction to the whole class then yes they should be taken out of the class. My daughter has a child in her class who is very disruptive because he can't seem to stay in his seat and does not listen to the teacher. It is very disruptive to those who are trying to listen.
On to the medication issue, I'm an adult who was on medication while I was in middle and high school for adhd. I do have to say that no I have no health issues due to the medication. I was always on the heavier side and when I was on the medication I didn't eat as much and I remember I was not hungry. I could defnitely tell when I didn't take the medication because I would not be able to concentrate. It doesn't have to be a bad thing putting your child on medication you can make it a positive. I'm not saying put him on medication I'm saying you need to weigh all your options, get the necesary testing done and not from a Dr but a child pyscologist and see what they turn up. If it wasn't for the medication I do not think I would have graduated from High School. Now that I'm 34 and trying to go back to college I still have a very hard time concentrating on my school work. So I know I still have issues with add. It's not something that your child will outgrow it's just something they will learn to live with. I took myself off the medication in my senior year of high school and I struggled that year, but still made it through.
Go to the meeting with an open mind and listen to what they are trying to tell you. Then once you have gathered that information seek outside counseling for you and your child to see if that is really what he needs. If it truly is NOT add-adhd then no do not medicate your child work with him to keep him busy at all times.
It's your choice as the parent if he has the medication and making sure he has the right dose is the most important thing.
I know when I was on the medication for the most part I was a normal happy kid, but that is because I was on the right dosage.
I hope this helps and remember I'm only giving my opinion and my experience to being on the medication.

M.

J.,
The school system should not be telling you that your child should be on medication. They are not legally allowed to tell you that your child should be on medicine. They can ask you to take them to a psychologist for an evaluation so the child can be diagnosed. Then it is the doctor's decision on whether to prescribe medication. You have the choice to put them on it. If you DO put your child on medication, the school WILL keep up with the child through the school nurse and the teachers should document their behavior throughout the day to see if it is working. They will let you know and the administration know if they see any difference in the behavior. If there are issues, they can have a meeting on the child and let you know what they have observed. However, they should not be able to legally tell you anything about the medication itself or that you should get it changed. They can only suggest going back to the doctor, who might decide to make adjustments to the dosage based on the notes from the teachers. If you decide th take the child off medication, they cannot force you to put them back on it. I don't know what state you live in, but I teach in Georgia, and that is the policy here. Hope you can figure this out!!

J.,
I am a special education teacher and NO they cannot force you to give him ADHD medicines. That is against your rights as a parent. If he is a major disruption in the class they can ask you to come and get him, they can keep him in the office until he settles down, and if the behavior is really bad they can suspend him. My suggestion to you would be to talk to his teacher and work on a plan together to help him be successful in the classroom. I have had students who were off the wall, climbing (literally) on the desks, but I have also had those who were like zombies because of their meds. Neither is conducive to a good education. There has to be a team approach. A child with ADHD is easily distracted and needs to have as few distractions as possible. There are ways to accomplish this in the room. It is a lot of work for the teacher but it is worth it to have a student who is actually learning. Let me know if you need any more suggestions. Be an advocate for your child. You may be the only one he has!
R.

J.,
Did you know that a lot of the toxins that are in our homes can cause ALL KINDS of problems? Even ADD and ADHD! Yes - I said toxins. The cleaning products and personal care products that we use everyday have been found to affect our health in numerous ways. YOUR SON MAY NOT HAVE ADHD! He may be having a reaction to some of those chemicals. There are SAFER alternatives! Please check it out at www.4thedinkins.fourpointwellness.com

I wish you the best.

L.

A public school cannot make you medicate your child or make threats to kick him out. It is the parents decision ONLY. They are not even supposed to by law mention that they even think he should be medicated. They are not the experts. Only your pediatrician can help guide you on this. The school must accept your decision and work with you on it. If it is not what you feel is best for him then dont do it. If they are placing this pressure on you document everntying said and take it to the school board. I am a teacher at a public school and we are told right from the beginning we ARE NOT to ever mention medication as the answer. My personal opinion is it is an easy way out for alot of teachers with overflowing classrooms. Do what you feel is right.

Have you tried changing his diet? A lot of time changing the diet will get rid of any signs of adhd. It did for my children. They eat healthy and have never been on any medication, including antibiotics.

AS a mom and a formero school employee I can offer you my point of view. My 11 year old son is not diagnosed adhd however, I have every grade school teacher tell me that he needs to be tested, so I had him tested every year for everything you can think of from a.d.d to hearing, sight, autism etc. He has not been diagnosed with anything except a bad case of daydreaming. He is not a disruptive student he just doesn't get his work done. Okay that is the mom part.
the teacher part is that if he is disrupting the classroom then he can be removed and suspended on a daily basis and the school can go to the board for expulsion or have him moved to a self - contained emotionally disturbed classroom. I understand your concern over the use of medication that is so "heavy" that it completely removes any resemblense of your son but, that is a discussion that needs to be had with your doctor. If he is inhibiting other children to learn then something needs to be done. The other students have a right to learn also and his behavior may be disrupting that. Now if it is not a behavioral issue and just a hyperactive, ran out of things to do bored - type thing then that is the teachers job to deal with... he is not being given enough to do during the day or being "pushed" enough. Have him tested by his doctor, the school counselor, and another doctor that he doesn't normally see for a second opinion. I am sorry if some of this sounds harsh but, being in second or third grade, it is just the beginning of his school career and you don't want him to receive a reputation on his school record as a student to not be taken seriously and a naive mother who won't accept her childs illness.
Good Luck my prayers are with you. I know that something like this is difficult and heart breaking.
K.

Hi J.. I work as a school psychologist in a school system in Georgia- so, can give you knowledgeable advice on this topic.

NO - the school system cannot force you to put your child on medication. They should not even go so far as to suggest that you should. A team may suggest that your child is showing significant problems with attention and hyperactivity and that you may want to consider talking to a doctor, psychologist, or child psychiatrist about those issues. Now, they may also tell you that if you do get a diagnosis of ADHD from a psychologist or doctor there may be more services (such as special education) that would be available to him. That is about as far as they can go.

I would suggest that you talk to a medical professional about different options. There are medications these day that are not stimulants if you would like to do a little research on those. There are also other options that do involve medications.

Good luck at your meeting. They can be overwhelming with all the school system employees. If possible, bring your husband with you for support. But remember, that everyone is there in the interest of your child. Everyone wants your son to succeed.

No they can not! Call you an attorney asap, he will tell you the same. Go to Coalition for Safe Minds site the address is below and here is legal representation site and another site that might help as well. I applaud you for not being pushed into medicating your child, sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. After all we are the only ones here to protect our children, and don't forget it. Because they can get hateful but it's your child's life...
My g-son now has autism because I let doctors from main stream medicine, hospitals and health departments influence my decision to vaccinate. Even when I had doubt, they can even get pushy! ADHD is also on the spectrum of learning disabilities. The autism spectrum. Read all you can find don't trust any main stream doctor, alternative health is your best bet to get straight answers. They are not bought out by big drug companies like most doctors are. Sorry to be so negative, I'm just so tired of seeing our babies suffer so they can fill they're pockets!

http://www.safeminds.org/ http://www.specialneedsalliance.com/
http://www.nmaseminars.com/index.html

I doubt that they can and that it's another glorified bullying technique like with vaccinations. I did want to say however, have you tried controlling it with diet? I know that a lot of people are skeptical of those things but I have a son that changed a TON once I changed his diet. I didn't realize that some of his behaviors were sensitivities to certain foods and here I had been told that once upon a time, he was ADHD too.

J. - I can't speak on the medication but the public school system CAN NOT deny your child an education. They might be saying they are going to put him in an alternate school because of his behavior, they CAN do that. I'm not sure what kind of meeting you are having but if he(for example) he is a constant disruption to the classroom they might be telling you they are going to put him in a special class or alternative school.

Check out this book:
The Myth of the ADD Child: 50 Ways to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Attention Span Without Labels, Drugs, or Coercion by Thomas Armstrong.

It has a lot of good information and suggestions of things to try.

The school is prob. refering to him being kicked out over disrupting class. if hes that bad you might want to move him to another class or school for kids with adhd. as far as medicating him ask his dr about changing his med, what is he on?

after reading your update To me it sounds like he's not hyper just bored and may need to switch to the honors program early. Or work out some kind of deal with the teacher send a workbook to school with him and get her to let him work on that after he's done with his work, or get him a chapter book something like the treehouse series or maybe encyclopedia brown something to make him work his mind. word search books maybe even sudoku.

one more thing . .
my daughter does the samething in kindergarten with her I told her if she feels like she cant sit still in her seat to wiggle her toes, she has to concentrate to wiggle her toes and wiggling her toes is not disruptive to the class they are in her shoes.