Wanting Advice on Strange Behavior of a Toddler

The Mom sounds like she's aware of it and concerned but at a loss as what to do about it. I would tell her (the next time it comes up) to speak with her pedi about it.

My friend's daughter has something called 'selective mutism' and it kinda sounds like how she can act. I think it has to do with an anxiety disorder. It was something I've never heard of or seen before. She wasen't diagnosed until this year when she entered the public school system.

The child should be evaluated for a social skills disorder (and this could be anything from autism to simple slow developing skill set.) My son is haveing the same evaluation done but with him it seems to be a short-term stress realated issue. Her behavior seems extreme. Please for the familys sake mention it to them.

You have my best regards,
K.

Not to be overly paranoid, but could she be abused in some way? That can affect behavior.

Autism has many different forms and i have a friend whose son has autism and he also displays some of those same signs. Maybe you should talk to the mother if yall are at all close and just ask some questions. That might help the both of yall .

Maybe it is just me, but that does not sound all that strange to me. She may just be shy! I know I was growing up and did not grow out of it until High School. There may be more to it, but it could also be something minor.

could be a type of autism, or maybe just that the poor child isn't well socialized, and just does not know what to do arround others

It sounds very much like autism to me. I would just mention it to Jane's mom, and recommend her to see someone about it... I imagine it is very scary for Jane to go through life without knowing why she is so afraid of social situations.

I am thinking autism as well. However if Jane's mom is not ready to deal with it, I don't know how far you will get and you may alienate them. You can maybe pull some research off the internet for them and leave it where it can be conveniently found for mom to read. Or you can say, I was reading an article on other kids that display Jane's behavior if you are interested I can share it with you. Sometimes it comes down to acceptance by the family before anything can be accomplished. Many parents operate on the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" theory. So if mom doesn't see a problem then keep gently finding things to share and maybe someday you can make some progress....
Good luck
C.

I was also thinking Autism or Asperger's Syndrome. You don't want to offend the mother, but if there's a way you can try to suggest it in conversation (if she ever brings her behavior up to you again, even in passing). It's so important for her to learn more about it herself so she can possibly better "Jane" and see a developmental Pediatrician. She may not be ready to admit that there's a huge problem. Good luck to you!