Want to Be a Stay-at-home Mom

Updated on December 04, 2006
P. asks from Houston, TX
4 answers

Y'll...I'm a jealous and confused mom!!! I have a lovely 7 months old baby girl. My mil has been helping us take care of my daughter M-F 8:00am to 5:30pm approx. After I come home, she would cook for us. Sounds great isn't it! But the problem is I get jealous of her being able to be with my baby all day and get to see all the milestone. And when I get some time to play with her, my mil would try to play with her as well...and most of the time, she gets all the attention from the baby :( What should I say to her to let me spend time with the baby without her stealing all the attention awy! I just need some sugguestion other than "go away" or "leave us alone"!! I know I should appreciate her but sometimes jealousy can play a big part on my thoughts.

For you who's a stay-at-home mom, do you get bored being with your baby all day? Do you wish to work or do something else? I really want to quit my full-time job to be with my baby but my dh doesn't let me (he does have a reason but I don't want to hear at the moment!!! >_<

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K.D.

answers from Houston on

I did both SAHM and working mom. It all depends on balance and how much socialzation you need. Its tough to stay home, its also tough to work and let someone else take care of your kids while your away.

Before you quit your job consider setting up some "activite time" just for you and your baby while mil cooks or does laundry or something. After all shes there to help you and your husband right? Also most daycares dont mention the milestones to parents so that mom & dad can think they saw it first this might be good for mil to know. Or if she just cant keep a secret maybe she can have a disposable camra to record the big event for you.

For me staying home was just exausting and lonely. Of course there are times now it seems like a paradise, but for the most part I like my job and I cant quit because my husband and I own the company (I also cant quit thinking whats next? even at 2:34 am) However when Im at home I concentrate on my kids, we read, watch an alphabet video or play silly games.

Go with what works for you and your child. Best wishes!

K.

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T.B.

answers from Houston on

I'm a SAHM and love to having a part time job... I hate the idea of letting/paying some one else to raise my kids, so I never thought of working. I missed being a 'real' person participating in a work enviroment... I've been a SAHM for almost 3 years now and I've just recently gotten a part time job. I've found it extremely gratifying to spend sometime outside of the house earning a paycheck and interacting with other adults... and sense it's part-time i'm only away from the kids a few hours during the week...
I think that would be the way to go... for a long time I thought that i had to be a SAHM or a working mom, I missed out on alot by not considering working part time....
best of luck
T.

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K.K.

answers from Houston on

It's really hard because you do get bored when they're litle. It can get lonely and repetitive quickly so it's not for everyone. I hated staying at home with my first son because it was lonely and I felt trapped because I did'nt have a vehicle, but now I've learned how to make it interesting by finding stuff to do to kind of fill in any down time. I am a stay at home mom of three and I would'nt trade it. I am in college right now because I do want to work once all my kids are in school, but right now I have a 8 month old daughter and 2 year old son at home and I get to watch all that they do; it's really amazing how fast time passes by. It's hardest for us in the monetary sense, especially because everyone else in our family works with kids and has houses and new cars which makes me feel like I don't give my kids enough sometimes. You can always find things to do. The library always has book readings and crafts, or just going to the park or playing with her all day. It's a hard decision to make, but it is absolutely a full time job rather it's one, three, or ten children.When I tuck them all in at the end of a long, every once in a blue moon, boring day I know in my heart that there's no place I'd rather be than with them. I think that you just have to find what fits for you, everybody is different. Good luck with whatever you choose.

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T.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi P.,

I have been in your shoes before. I used to work full-time while my mil watched my son and daughter. I too was jealous of the time she spent with my kids. The good thing for me though was that once I came home, she pretty much handed them over to me willingly. My kids are still very attached to her. Because I was jelous of the time she spent with them all day, my desire to become a stay at home mom grew very strong. As a result, I convinced my husband to let me quit work and stay home with the children. You asked if us stay at home mom's get bored. Well, I do yes. Sometimes I think about going back to work, but my mil has now found a full-time job of her own. Because of this, I would have to put my children in a public day care. I really hate that idea. There are many pros and cons on both sides of the story. Being a stay at home mom does mean making a financial sacrifice. Obviously we went from a two income famiy to a one income family. The joy though is in the time you get with your children. My mom always tells me to cherish these moments because they will never come back. The way I see it is I have my whole life to work in a full-time job, but my children will not be young my whole life. So if I can make a sacrifice now and spend this precious time with them, then I will. I hope me sharing my story has helped you some. The best of luck to you and your family.

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