Waldorf or Montessori or Home School

As a primary teacher, I really enjoyed reading Susan's response to your concerns. Young children (Kindergarten and 1st grade) are learning how to get along with others and following structures within the classroom. Prior to coming to school most children just do whatever they want at home and are never given structure, rules, boundaries, and expectations. The school setting allows them to learn, observe others, and experience social skills (waiting, complying, patience, following directions, etc.) that they may not have the privilege of experiencing while at home. If you want your child challenged then enrich their life outside of the classroom and on weekends. Here are some ideas: bake or cook with your child, go to the library or museum, take nature walks, purchase the next grade book higher and allow he/she to complete the worksheets, paint, sing songs, make shopping lists, compare prices, set the table, have chores, etc. I think parents need to be actively involved in challenging their child, because ultimately your child wants to spend time with you!

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im not sure what waldorf schools are but i know what i read on montessori schools sounds totally rediculous. i read that the kids basically teach them selfs and that no two children are learning the same thing why do they even need a teacher you may as well turn them loose in a field to learn. i mean if you want your child to learn what a breeze feels like take her to the park or live like a bohemian hippie outside or something. of course kids are happy there because they dont learn what a dead line is or a test or have any stress. your child could draw a picture of a flower and get an A for the day. i dont see how people can function in the real world after attending these schools. i dont mean to doubt your possible school choice but there seems to be little structer in montessori schools. to me your daughter seems bored because she isnt being challenged. at 5 i would assume your daughter is in kindergarden or at the end of a pre k school year. what i would do is maybe see if she can take a proficiency test. you may find that you have a extremely smart child she just may not find joy in doing work thats too easy for her. this could be causing her homework troubles. i dont know any pre k or kindergarden class that has homework so thats odd to me. anyways i hope this is helpful. i would deffinately read up on montessori schools to get a good idea of what you may be sending your daughter too. reading about waldorf schools they seem just as rediculous as montessori schools. and i also agrees with another mom with the home schooling not being a good idea since theres already tension between the two of you doing work. good luck.

heres a few sites:
http://www.montessori.edu/index.html

this is from the montessori meathod ages 3-12

Teaching Method: There are no text books, and seldom will two or more children be studying the same thing at the same time. Children learn directly from the environment, and from other children—rather than from the teacher. The teacher is trained to teach one child at a time, with a few small groups and almost no lessons given to the whole class. She is facile in the basic lessons of math, language, the arts and sciences, and in guiding a child's research and exploration, capitalizing on interests and excitement about a subject. Large groups occur only in the beginning of a new class, or in the beginning of the school year, and are phased out as the children gain independence. The child is scientifically observed, observations recorded and studied by the teacher. Children learn from what they are studying individually, but also from the amazing variety of work that is going on around them during the day.
this is the site i got this paragraph from (http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW312MI.html)

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I concur with Omega... on the homeschooling.... it may be just too stressful for you/the home... day in and day out. You are already 'feeling' the tension... and it would just be more tangible and palatable if it were in action. Or you could try it, and see how it goes. I homeschooled my girl before she entered Kindergarten... and yes, it's a challenge and you go bonkers sometimes.

You didn't mention what grade level your daughter is in? She is 5 years old... so either Kindergarten or Pre-K?
Sometimes, a child is not emotionally ready or mature yet, to be in Kinder. Perhaps, can she repeat her class?

Like any young child... what you describe in your daughter, can be said for many kids. Most kids only want to do what they are interested in. Other than that, they do need prompting and structure. You said your girl responds to your prompting... I am thinking that perhaps she needs more structure... and defined instructions. ALSO at this age, once they start formal school... they are 'learning' that they have to do things, they don't want to do. It's all about 'growing pains' for a child... and this is the beginning of learning these things. All kids go through this. All kids balk when they have to do something they don't want to, and will dilly-dally or make excuses, say they are tired/hungry etc. But at a certain point and age... they need to commence learning about doing something despite...

I looked at Waldorf and Montessori too. In researching it... I would look at the years ahead (up through high school and then college)... where do you want your kids? What do you want them to get out of it? How do you want them to integrate into the general scheme of things? Academically? Socially? How does Waldorf and Montessori prepare them?

Both approaches has it's good points and many happy kids. It also has drawbacks.... and these can vary per the child, per the Parent, per the outcomes for statistics and how they fare in comparison in college.

It's really up to you, at the end. And your child. But keep in mind, that no matter what type of school they attend, and at each "age-stage" a child will have struggles, certain aptitudes, certain hinderances, and characteristics. AND... it also matters in how the Parent facilitates & nurtures their child....ASIDE FROM school.

I have friends kids that go to both types of schools. Waldorf and Montessori. And I have a friend that was a Principal at a prestigious private school... and she screened applicants for admission. In her observation... the kids that went to Waldorf and Montessori... were not as 'articulate' or focused in their verbal aptitude and in their answers to questions dealing with all aspects of current news and academic topics. Their attention span also seemed to lack 'something' which she could not explain...it was in terms of while looking at them and seeing how they think/process their answers/understand the questions/and then try to articulate their answers in return. However, they were creative and free-flowing and nice children. My friends who do have kids in these schools... have nice kids. Nothing wrong with them. But, they don't seem to listen to direction very well... and kind of just cruise around without a focus....just going form one thing to the next without a sense of 'direction.' Nothing wrong with that... that is the way there are taught. But even my daughter at her young age noticed something about them.. .and she even asked me "Mommy what is wrong with them...they don't listen very well or understand things..." But again... their approach to learning is non-traditional... and they are geared toward things in a less structured manner. I'm not criticizing any child/parent that has a child in these schools... but it is just that this is what I've experience personally, with the kids of my friends. There are many things about Waldorf and Montessori that is great... so as a "Mom" I can integrated that into the daily lives of my children...though not in a 'school' venue. I just do it as a Mom... and am very creative with my kids and allow them to explore. To me, school is school... and then outside of that I "enrich" my kids with other approaches... so they get varied experiences and develop as a WHOLE.

Really.. there are good and negative things about any school approach be it traditional or non-traditional. ALL their life, a child will change and have trouble or not, adjusting to the 'structure' of school and homework and meeting what is expected. So... ultimately... you need to see how you want your child to be lead... and nurtured... and taught. And, how it will impact them in the long run.

My daughter goes to a public school, that is a blue-ribbon winning school. We are fortunate for this.. .because we could not possibly afford private school. My daughter is a lot like your daughter... and has many of the same interests... but my girl excels in her public school.. .and the Teachers are great. The Teacher is what makes a big difference as well. Outside of school... we nurture my daughter's interests and activities. So, she gets very well rounded and understands structure and free thinking and playing. And like any child... it just takes practice.

Perhaps, talk with your Daughter's Teacher. I would start there... and see what she/he thinks.

All the best,
Susan

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L.,

We moved our (then) 3rd grade daughter out of public school in the middle of the school year because we felt she wasn't getting the education and nurturing she needed. We placed her in a much smaller Montessori school. She has blossomed. She is now in the 4th grade, and we placed her little Kindergartener sister in the same school. I highly recommend it. The teaching practices are much more tailored for the individual. Do a little research about the Montesorri Meathod of teaching. I'm sure you will be intrigued enough to get a tour of a school near you.

Good luck,
L.

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I think you should research all of your options. Waldorf and Montessori are both expensive, but I love both of their approaches based and the reading and visiting I've done. I went to Montessori school during Pre-K and loved it. I remember loving school so much and then I was put into public school and was so miserable.
I teach high school at a public school and will pinch my purse wherever necessary to send my daughter to a private school.
As far as home schooling goes, my personal opinion is that it doesn't give kids the social experiences and interactions that they need to develop. I end up with a good number of students whose parents decide to transition them out of home school when they hit Freshman year and it is a DIFFICULT transition for those kids.

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Wow, I would say leave her be. She is only 5 years old. She won't be that age for long. My daughter is 6 years and very smart. However, I definitely do not push my daughter. I help her when she needs help with her homework, but other than that, she needs to be a kid. It goes by to fast as it is and then she will really have to work. Your daughter is also learning about relationships at school, how kids interact with each other, etc. I don't think homeschooling is bad, but you do loose that interaction that you will need later on in life. Children are able to adapt better than adults. Heck, the first two years they adapt to all the changes we put them through... Artistic? Who cares. You don't want a clone of others. She is her own person. Part you, part your husband and very special in her own way. Encourage her but don't push her. You don't want her hating to learn. Good luck with whatever choice you choose.

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Research Montessori. I have three kids who have gone through the Montessori system. It is the best academic program for young children. Through Montessori children become avid readers, keen mathematicians, inquiring scientists, master geographers and, most importantly, thoughtful, peaceful citizens. My children are all bright and have soaked up the materials like sponges. However, the method enhances all children of all different levels. It is truly a universal, worldwide system of education. True Montessori schools have highly trained teachers whom follow a set curriculum; it is very professional. Check it out!

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Hello L.,

My husband used to work as a second-grade teacher, and I heard from him that, in his school, students who came from Montessori tended to create a lot of headaches to the teachers because they were used to doing only what they wanted to do all the time, just like Jacy mentioned, because they lacked structure and sometimes even respect for their classmates and teacher. I believe that there are some philosophies out there that are too much child-centered that kids eventually become egotistical and learn to do only what they feel like doing and fail to get a sense of the real world where there are many times that you do things because you have to. We see that a lot as parents and adults where we have to work because we need to money and we have to get up in the middle of the night because we have to feed our babies even though we would rather stay in bed.

I applaud Kim's comment about challenging your child at home. As a teacher myself I can tell which kids have responsibilities at home because it transfers into the classroom - they are helpful and they are a pleasure to be around.

I believe, too, that children need to be children so, like other mothers have said, let your child be a child.

So, my final advice would be: before you decide where to have your child, make sure to know what the school's philosophy is, and see if you can observe at least one class in session to make sure that whatever is going on in the school makes you comfortable and confident that that is the best one for your child. After that, regardless of where you decide to have her go, follow Kim's advice and try to spend time with your child teaching her responsibility and accountability, (such as by having chores, rules, consequences and rewards like they do in school) which are two things that would help her succeed in the future. I know that it's more easily said than done, but it's worth the effort.

By the way, if it was me making that choice, my first choice would be private school, but I can't afford it so public school would be my second choice, but I'd make sure that that school is good.

Good luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful

We love the homeschool program we use! We have been homeschooling using CAVA for the last 2 years. My daughter is in 2nd now, and next year we'll be adding my son for kindergarten, and continuing my daughter for 3rd. Its free, since it's actually a public school/homeschool program. (Well, we pay for it with our tax $) They supply everything to get started, including a school computer.

Since I'm not a super organized person, this program is great for me, because all the lesson planning is done for me. I just log on to the computer each morning and follow
guidelines for lessons, log attendance, mark lesson assessment scores, etc. Its easy.

We love it! If you're in CA, google CAVA for more info. If you're not in CA, google K12, to see if your state offers this program. (alot do)

Blessings to you,
Corinn

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Hi L. -
We're very happy with Montessori school. Our son inherited our artistic tendencies and his school very much leans towards art expression and learning. Your daughter sounds inclined towards that too, so she would probably thrive in the Montessori environment.

Good luck to you, L.

1 mom found this helpful

I would say if she responds well to direct, on her all the time to get her work done monitoring by you, that Montessori isn't the best option for her. I have both my kids there in preschool, but I'll be sending them to the public school for elementary school...
-M

Adding...after reading through the response, I think you really need to check out your local schools to decide. My kids are in Montessori on the Lake in Lake Forest for preschool and I've got to say, there's a lot of structure. My 3 year old has his own desk, they have a set schedule and there plenty of order. For instance, things all have a certain place, you do one project, finish it, and then put it back before starting another. They are in pre-school but have studied Asia, dinosaurs, transportation and other subjects. And, I've got to say, when my son is at his gymnastics class or at kids birthday parties, my son is one of the best at standing in a line with his hands behind his back and listening to his coach or the adult in charge. I really attribute a lot of this to his school.

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All kids learn at different rates. Kindergarden is young for h/w (I hated it last year with my kids) so I am sure that is part of it. I wouldn't home school if I were you. If you are frustrated working with her now on h/w just think--you never get a break. I know in Capistrano Unified that the Charter School (Journey) is Waldorf inspired. NOt sure where you live but if you live in that district you could check it out. It's free b/c it's public. Perhaps other districts have charters or magnates that are different than the conventional class as well. Look into them. And be patient. Talk to her teacher and find out if there is anything else you can do to make the whole thing a little easier. Most k teachers are pretty good.

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Maybe she just needs to be a kid. Sounds like you may be pushing her too hard to over achieve. She is ONLY 5. Let her have some say in what she wants to do. If she love pokemon great if she doesn't want to play the violin everyday don't push her. Make a deal you do this (violin) and I will buy you a new pack of cards or something like that. How about you play for a half hour then you practice for half hour. A five year old needs to change activities often. Let he be a child!! Best of luck

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My sister was the same way and Montessori was great for her. It teaches in a way that makes the kids WANT to learn so it may be the way for your daughter. Home sounds like it would just ramp up tension between you two as she is "so not in to" most of the school work, it would just cause "fights" over doing it or not. I know nothing about the other method so . . . that's all I can offer, good luck :)

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At the end of this week I will have a schedule for a woman who will be doing homeschooling workshops at my store, Belly Sprout. She homeschools her children an is a wealth of information. You can check our website, www.bellysprout.com or call the store at ###-###-#### to see the dates!

Good luck,
C. Funk
www.bellysprout.com
* Waldorf and Montessorri run about $600-$1,000 per month!

Hi Leslie-

I have friend's that send their kids Waldorf and also friend's that homeschool. The friend's at Waldorf love it, but it does get expensive. The friend's who homeschool really like it, but have a structured life and break it down with both parents doing the teaching, the husband teaching Math & science when he get's home, and the mom teaching the other subjects. I do have one friend who homeschooled as well but she wasw always looking for something better.

Another option is Charter Schools. My daughter is a non-traditional learner so after kindergarten I put her in a Charter school that has a Construcivist curriculum. It is project based and the easiest way to explain it is "learning by doing." I don't know what they have in the LA area but in San Diego they have several Charter schools that have a good reputation and follow that model.

Charter schools are still public schools and have to be held accountable by State guidelines, but their Charter allows them to follow their own curriculum. If they don't meet the standards then their charter is pulled and shut down. That has happened to a couple charters here in SD.

Whatever you decide, Good Luck!!

My advice isn't about which school (I could never afford either or to stay home or I probably would have home schooled).
My son was/is very similar in his dislike of anything "boring." It sounds like she's already a little ahead of the game in everything except drawing/ writing. It could be that things are too easy for her. If she likes school and does well there but just has complaints about the homework, talk to her teacher about alternative work. (A few of my sons teachers worked with me, most didn't) If she is reading, can she read something else? If they are working on shapes can she learn other ones. etc. What ever it is can it be adapted to her learning level and interests.
Also supplement her at home. I know it seems unfair for the school to have her all day and then you to have to fight to do homework and then teach her more on top of it, but once the school work catches up with her abilities, you'll be grateful you did.

Good Luck with whatever you choose.

I've been contemplating whether or not to home school for the past year. I know a few families who homeschool in my area and they like it. The teenagers I know that homeschool seem to have far more positive attitudes than a lot of public schooled kids that I know. They talk to adults and children the same way. In my opinion, they seem to be socially advanced as opposed to the stigma that homeschooled kids aren't socialized. I've checked out K12 - a public homeschooling program that is free. They'll even loan you a computer monitor. I was gonna start homeschooling my son this year but he got accepted in an exceptional school that is a ten minute walk from our house so we decided to give it a shot. I let him know that the choice is his. As far as Waldorf Schooling goes I think it sounds awesome- but yeah, it's expensive! A friend told me of another friend who works her son's tuition off at a Waldorf school in Santa Monica. I haven't canceled out that option but the nearest Waldorf school to me would be a 45 min. commute everyday. Another thing to keep in mind is that just because a kid reaches meets the age cut-off date for kindergarten doesn't mean they're absolutley ready. I started my son at 4 ( his birthday is in October) and he wasn't ready. He did a second year of kindergarten. It's been good for him but I wish I would've waited to start him in the first place. Good luck to you on your schooling adventure!

don't separate them. they need to work as one unit. some Montessori is beneficial even if you end up homeschooling. make sure it's a good Montessori, meaning the majority of teachers went through more than on-line certification in Montessori method. if you are in So Bay, don't go to the one on Peck.
Good Luck
V
V

Hello. I would say that really, she sounds like a typical child. Few and far between are the children who love school all the time and love to do homework. I actually help sit with a neighbor girl because she doesn't want to do homework and it causes tension between her and her mother .... it isn't a school thing, she would just rather play or watch tv or do something other than homework.

I do caution against homeschooling simply because in order to home school well - it is a job .... just like teaching at a public or private school. There has to be a schedule, rules, assignments, organization, and it should be more than just some time on a computer. It also should involve community groups and gatherings to ensure the social aspect of education. Elementary schools spend little time comparatively on computers because that is not often the best way for a child to learn - they need hands on experience and personal interaction.

As a high school teacher, I encourage you to work with your daughter and lay down some homework rules. As much as I do not agree with much elementary school homework, now is the time when work ethic values are instilled. She needs to know/learn that she must do the assignment, regardless of whether or not she likes it. I am sure you make her clean her room, which she may not like although she loves to play with her toys which creates the mess in the first place. :)

I think often parents forget that during the elementary years, parents have always been expected to work with their children at home on assignments, reading, math flash cards, those kinds of things. Now we tend to think all the learning should be the job of the teacher, not the parents. I even have to remind myself that if my daughter is going to do well in school and love it - I have to teach her that .... model reading at home, assuring her of the importance of what her teachers say. I was told two weeks ago by her daycare teacher that my daughter is not doing her alphabet very willingly .... my husband and I fixed that - now she knows she has to do it and she happily does!

Your child's education is your choice, but be sure you are thinking long term about the habits your are teaching your child for middle and high school where homework will be challenging and probably in subjects she doesn't always love.

Good luck and I hope that you find a solution that works well for you and your child.