"Waiting to Enter Kindergarten"

Updated on March 29, 2008
C.L. asks from Park Ridge, IL
9 answers

My husband and I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter. She has a mid-summer birthday. We've made the decision to have her enter Kindergarten next year (2009). She is in an excellent preschool right now, and she will very much benefit from the opportunities she has there by staying an extra year. Also, if we have her enter Kindergarten this year most of the students will be at least 6 to 8 months or up to a year older than her. In "child time" that is a very big scope. I wanted to know what your thoughts were on this, and if you have a child in a similar situation. Thank you: )..C.: )

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

I think you are making the right choice- I don't think you should think about birthday candles, periods and her not feeling challenged- if she is going to a good school there are college bound classes that will challenge her. I think it child is different and only has their parent do you truly know what is best for your child. My son is almost 3 and he is a small boy-3rd percentile(he was a preemie) and has an August birthday depending on how he develops, I will not have him start K until he is 6. He is right now delayed a bit, but hopefully he will check up. Good luck!

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

As an early childhood educator with a masters in the field, I commend you for your very wise decision. Developmentally they are not really ready at 4 1/2 to be in K. I taught 4/5 yr. old preschool which is more appropriate according to all substantial research. Kids should NOT be entering kindergarten at 4 1/2. They learn so much through their play and projects in preschool that they do not get to do once they enter the "grades." Our society has gotten so competitive that they forget what is TRULY best for our kids. Excellent choice. If only you could rub your ideas off on others!

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter missed the September first cut off date by 2 weeks.
at first I felt disappointed she would have to wait another year for KDG. Now I see this as a blessing. She was always the oldest in her class & so was more mature & naturally became a leader. She is still at the top of her class & now that she is in Driver's Ed I am especially glad she is older than her classmates as she readies to take on the responsibilities of driving.

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

If she does not have a diagnosed delay (where an extra year for tutoring is needed), it is your responsibility to send her on her way. Holding her back is just slowing down the things she should be learning at this ripe age. It would be a disservice to her!

We live in a competitive, selfish, dog eat dog world. Don't push your kids into that by holding them back. The example is wrong. And, what is next? The older kids have higher expectations? What if they can't fulfill them? Or, they start out knowing they are older and feel they were held back because they were inadequate? What consequences will there be then?

If it were statistically proven that our kids would thrive better by waiting a year, then Kindergarten would start at 6, not 5. Maturity is experience. And, kids get that from home and peers. It is petty to hold back a child because of a presumed advantage in sports or early ability to drive. Furthermore, studies have found that there is no correlation between self esteem and stature. Finally, struggle is good for kids too. It teaches them that they have to work for what they get, which is a valuable life lesson.

I am sickened by the fearful parents who hold their normal kids back because of what might be or, how their child might compare to others. In my opinion, they send the wrong message to their kid, risking more in the end.

By the way, both my kids have summer birthdays along with about 1/4th of the population. So, your kids won't be alone.

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K.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.
I found myself with the same issue my son will be five this year also I kept thiknig maybe he would not be ready either. But this year in pre-k has been a struggle, because he was in the 4 year old clas when he was 3 so this year there was a repeat of some of the same things. He was bored and started to act out. That helped me decided I did not what leave him there and he be the oldest and out of place. I agree with the other parents prepare her for the change and let her go. I ham preparing my son now We talk about kdg and what he will learn and what new things he will be able to do. I live in Oak Park ,il So i was able to get the currcuilm of some things he will be learning and I have started to introduce them to him on a limited basis. Try some different things with her and see just were she is she might surprise you.

Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

I also agree with Nicole. I have a daughter who has a summer birthday and a son who has a winter birthday. My daughter started pre school at 3 1/2, she's in her second year now and has done fantastic. The social setting was great for her. You would be surprised at how much your daughter would benefit from having older kids around. Last year, my daughter was 1 of about five 3 year old in a class of 4 year olds and she did fantastic, as did the other 3 year olds. While she is a very smart child, she is on the shy side, so the extra time gave her the opprtunity to open up to classmates and teachers. To put her in later would not give you daughter that adjustment period. If after giving it a shot, you feel that she is still not ready, then maybe opt for another year of preschool. But give her the benefit of the doubt.

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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there-

I am hearing about this quite a bit and it frankly has me very concerned and frustrated. Many parents are deciding to have their child wait to enter Kindergarten, especially their boys. While I understand that kids with summer birthdays are a bit younger, I don't think it's a good idea.

I think, as parents, we need to help prepare our kids to start school when they are suppose to start. IF our children are not ready due to medical problems or learning disabilities, then I believe that is an acceptable excuse but to do so with a normal developing child, I think is the easy way out. If our children are not ready, it is our job to prepare them either with tutoring, extra time in a social environment and/or a combination of the two. To decide in February that your child won't be ready in September is not giving your child the benefit of the doubt. Because your child has a summer birthday, their development is a little behind their peers but I am guessing that by September, you will see that your child is ready and able to do well in school. They just need that time to be ready.

I'm sorry if this comes off a bit harsh. I am hearing this more and more and it is driving me crazy. My child also has a summer birthday and the idea of holding him back...even to help in sports, is beyond me. In fact, I had a neighbor who decided to do this when her child was just 3 years old. He is now 7 and excelling in everything and now the Mom is having trouble getting him in the grade that he belongs. So much so, that she is considering sending him to private school where she pays for him to go to school which has the domino effect of causing her to go back to work leaving her younger child going to daycare. Please think this through more carefully and get the resources now if you need to give your daughter more preperation.

Hope this helps! Good luck.
N.

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

You need to seriously think about what that will do to her later on in her school career! She'd be the first to get her period in her class while most of the other girls might have not yet, she'd be a year older than some of the boys in high school when dating begins, and what if she excels in school - she might get bored! The line has to be drawn somewhere. My child has a winter birthday, and is one of the oldest in her class, and is bored at times. I say don't hold her back. Plus, there is a certain excitement in school when you have the same number of birthday candles on your cake as your friends! The gap may be apparent now, but as they get older, you won't even notice.

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

So if I understand this right, you're dd will be 5 this summer and you don't want to start kindergarten until she's already turned 6? And she doesn't have any developmental issues and you are making this decision now? And she is a girl? If she were a boy, I think it would make a little more sense. All I can say is that I don't understand.

I have an end of June b-day myself and so I was 5 when I entered kindergarten and I was bored in school the entire time. My dd will be 5.75 when she enters kindergarten due to her December b-day and the sept. 1 cut off, and I'm feeling really bad for her, hoping she won't be bored out of her mind.

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