WAHM/WAHD And Household Chores

Hi there :) I think it depends heavily on how much "work" actually is having to be done. This goes for both sides.

For example in his job (whether at the office or at home) is he having to actually put in the full 8 hour day and work his buns off? Or - if it comes down to it, is his work load actually only taking about 4 hours a day.. but when he was at the office before so HAD to be there the entire 9-5 time frame, plus getting up, driving home, etc.

From my experience of being in this situation, you can usually gage pretty quickly how much time he needs to actually work by seeing what he is doing during the day besides working.. like playing that computer game, taking a golf break every week to "network", looking at hockey stuff online, taking a 2 hour lunch & watching ESPN etc.

Once again this goes both ways. I always like to split the work either way.. I know I have time for that quick trip to the Gap to see if they have any new clearance items, or to get my nails done, so I do my half of chores and so does he.

Also - if one of us actually has one of those fast paced days & the other finds the house a mess then we don't hold it against each other, we just let it go & then clean it up after the kiddo is in bed, etc.

My husband works from home 4 days a week and I'm a SAHM/WAHM. My husband only takes a break when he stops to eat lunch and then goes right back to work. If he did want to take a longer lunch break I wouldn't expect him to do any housework during his lunch break. After all, this should be a break for him because he's been working and does deserve a break, which he usually doesn't take - just enough time to eat his lunch and then back to work again. And even though I don't expect him to do anything during his work day he'll still fold a load of laundry for me, which I consider him going above and beyond for me. He's a sweet guy! And when he's not working in the evenings - after his work day has ended - he is a HUGE help in doing all types of housework. We are really a team and I appreciate everything he helps me do. Without his help, I'd never get everything done.
But to answer your question, no I wouldn't expect him to do housework during his work day. If there's 'chores' you want him to do once the work day is over I think that's different and maybe you could talk to him and see if he can do some things once he's done with his work for the day.

A.

Well I can only answer for what works for us.

I am WAHM and get up and work on the phone from 6am till
the kids get up and have a 2 1/2 yr old girl and 4 yr boy.
They are busy all day and lucky they will be going to school
this fall for mothers day out. Then work in late evening too.

I am only getting 3- hours sleep bewt working hours and then the kids all day, I am worn out. So my husband who works 8-5,
then comes home and I cook dinner and we have family dinner and some family time.

Then he helps pick up at bedtime and put the kids to bed and does the ALL the dishes, and cleans the kitchen And will throw laundry in occas, this helps so I can put in a few more hours of work.

We can't make it if I don't work but I can't work when the kids are up, so this is what works for us.

When you have a toddler there always toys and even though we have the kids pick up and just takes work for everone. So we try to be a team. Maybe this will give you some tips.

Good luck ! My husband didn't know how much I did til I was in training for 6 weeks at night and he had to take care of the kids,dinner,bath and bedtime, and clean up.

So he happy to help and see how much it takes to keep the house up.

I work outside of the home and my husband works out of our home office 5 days a week, when he's not traveling. I have to say, I am a little spoiled in that he loves having a clean house and is willing to put in the time and effort to help keep it that way. We have a 2 year old and a 6 month old that are both in daycare. While I am getting ready for work, he gets the boys up, fed and dressed. After I leave and take them to school, he spends a little time in the morning unloading and loading the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen and tidying up any mess the boys made, before he really starts his day. He'll work straight through to lunch and then he cleans up his own dishes afterwards. He usually does all of his own laundry, so if he needs something washed, he'll through a load in during the day. Then when I come home, it's a joint effort of making dinner, feeding the boys, getting them ready for bed, etc.
I have to say, I really am spoiled with how much my husband helps out, but I don't think it's too much to ask your husband to do a couple of things during the day if he has an extra hour. It only takes a couple of minutes to do the dishes, or to throw something in the wash machine. As long as it's not taking away from his work and effecting his performance, I think it's perfectly fine. Whatever gets done during the day gives the two of you more time together in the evening after your son is in bed!

Hi--I am a sahm but freelance as needed by my clients. My husband works from home but travels 80% of the time. I ONLY expect him to pick up after his lunch dishes/coffee making. He is working at home which is no different if he were at an office---I let him work and that is it. It is not fair to ask him to do chores during a lull in his day--he needs to recharge/eat luch during that time.

My husband and I both work outside the home. However, his job does require one week a month for him to work from home at night. He is basically on call 24/7 for that week. We have split chores up. He is mainly responsible for the outside of the home and he does floors and cleans our bathroom. I clean the rest of the home and the kids bath. He will often do his late after we have all gone to bed, or early in the am while getting the kids ready. They all know not to leave a dish in the sink. Everyone has 10 seconds to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher. We take turns unloading it and my oldest is required to help.

My husband works outside the home, I work from home, our 3 & 5 year old go to daycare. He has a new job that requires longer hours and travel, so our routine has changed recently and I do a bit more. Before he worked the hours he does now we pretty much split everything.

Since I am home, and able to be more flexible with my hours, I try to throw in a load of laundry, run the dishwasher, maybe fold or put away a load too. I absolutely clean up after myself during the day. I also make dinner every day, he does the dishes.

It's a little much to expect him to vacuum/sweep/mop/dust or do anything else that takes more than 15 minutes or so. I take little breaks throughout the day, but vacuuming my whole house would be too much.

Oh, and some days (weeks) I get nothing done around the house during the day - just depends on how busy I am. Since your husband has just started his new routine give him some time to sort it out, he'll probably start pitching in more here and there when he get's more comfortable with the daily flow.

I work from home and my son goes to daycare during the day. My job is an 8-5 job with very little down time. I could take time out of my day to do chores but that takes time away from my work and I would be that much behind. There are weeks that I am able to get the living room vacuumed or a few loads of laundry done but most weeks I don't have the time. A job is a job whether you are at home or in an office. Now, I do pick up after myself after lunch and etc. I think my husband would be a little upset if I didn't.

If your husband was sitting around watching TV, that would be one thing, but if he is working then let him work.

My husband and I are also like someone mentioned when their kids get sick. If my son has to stay home sick I can't get much work done so we take turns with half days. He can log into work and get work done from home and I can work at night so this really works for us.

It takes time to adjust to working from home. Let him get the hang of the new job and play it by ear. Good luck.

We both work from home and share the load totally. we have our lists in the morning of what needs to be done, and then we trade off on who is gonna do lunch or dinner for the day.
Communicate and see if he enjoys doing one thing over another. It will work but " talk about it ".
L. T
Cookie Lee Jewelry consultant

I work from home, and while it's fantastic in terms of not having to commute, it's still work nonetheless. We try to treat it like I'm "away" from home as much as we can otherwise it causes a lot of stress when I can't do more than what would normally be expected of me if I were working outside of the house.

We have a general division of responsibilites and beyond that, the timing is up to us. We each know what needs to get done, but my husband doesn't expect me to take care of his chores just 'cause I'm home working during the day. It is great to be able to put in a load of laundry if I have a break in my day, but it's not expected of me. It's great to be available if the kids get sick and have to be picked up, but again, when that happens, my husband tries to get off a half day at work so I can still get some work done for my job as well.

If I were you, I would ask him what he feels he can and would be willing to do, but if he says nothing, don't be hurt by that. When I make the time to do a couple more chores during the day, that works out great, but again, my husband does not question it when I don't do it because he knows that sometimes, there's just not enough time in the day. :-)

I've worked at home since my son (now almost 5) was 6 months. He's always been in some kind of organized care - whether preschool or summer camps during the day. when my daughter was born, I tried to "stay at home". It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Having her at home and still working some of the day when she's napping/playing was an injustice to her and to me. So, we've put her in care.

Both of us - my husband and I, work at home - we own a mortgage and realty company. We work always and never. It's teamwork for us. I might move the laundry through the wash when I have a break, while my husband works, and he will fold it while I work. Dishes are done throughout the day. I do handle most of the carpools, Dr. appts, etc. But he works during that time, and drives more of our income in while we're gone. We give and take when someone gets a phone call and needs silence from the "AHH - brother - give it back! - I didn't do anything..."

Good luck!

I wouldn't expect him to do any house work while working from home. I Work from home and to be effective at the job, sometime you really have to get into the zone and stay there.Guys typically aren't good at multi-tasking anyway. Depending on my work load, I can do laundry, take something down for dinner, make doctor appointments. But when my workload is heavy, like right now...I can't do any of that. If he does household chores, thank him, show your appreaction and that's it. I'm sooo glad my husband doesn't expect anything to be done around the house 9-5. Good luck!