Victoria Secerets? at What Age Do You Say Ok?

My take (and that is all it is) is this: Would this same person be comfortable giving your girls a box with panties and bras in it for a gift? If not, then nix the gift certificate. If so... and you would have no problems with them giving them panties and bras.. then go ahead. Simple decision.

For me and mine, I do the underwear buying in our house. And when my daughter and son are older, I will still do it, with them or they will do it with my supervision and my funds. I will not be having outside family and friends buying my kids undergarments. Just seems unsavory to me... not the V.'s Secret part, just the undergarment aspect. Just my 2¢...

p.s. FWIW, I have read some of the other comments about the good quality of their bras and am surprised. They either have changed a LOT in the last 10 years or it has to do with the size. I have always been a C (occasionally a D I will admit).. NEVER a B in any shape form or fashion... and every bra I have ever overpaid for there fell apart WAY faster than a comparable bra from the department store (Belk's or Dillards). They also did not provide very good support. I have never bought bras at Walmart so I can't compare in that regard... but a good department store bra is far better in my opinion. VS's PJ's etc are fine.. but for bras.. I shop elsewhere.

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Well, Victoria's Secret has more than just sexy items...They have some nice bras, nightgowns, perfumes and other decent things...I would say "sure" and go with her when she shops...She may surprise you with what she wants!

I understand that you do not want your children to have kids as early as you did, but think of it this way. If they want something, they will find a way to get it. Would you rather be the mom who goes with them to help them choose, or the Mom who has to find out after the fact when they did it behind your back?

I am sure you did a wonderful job with your gyrls, and that they will choose nice things that are not the skimpy sexy items...:)

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Dear A.,

I can relate on most counts of what you are saying, the only difference was I had three girls very young, and wound up a single mother before they were all in school. You are so right to understand about picking your battles. It also sounds like you are an involved mother and that makes a world of difference, so my hats off to you! Keep up the good work.

My girls are now 27, 26, 23, and 5. In their teen years I had heart attacks inside over the skimpy underwear and nighties they liked to wear, but I chose not to pick that battle. It paid off. In their teen years girls like to try on different "hats" so to speak. They also like to feel beautiful, and beautiful things help with that. I would let her have the certificate and pick out whatever she likes.

BTW my bragging rights are that I had three girls in a row, single mom, everyone finished high school, no one got pregnant, no one got arrested, no one had any drug or alcohol problems! It came from being an involved, but not judgemental mother. Our job when they hit this age is to guide them through these confusing times:)

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My answer is NO. I would say "thanks, but no thanks. VS is suppose to attract grown of age women. There are no children models even displayed in the store. My daughter has a friend that is 14 and she has VS underwear. She had to show both my daughter and I them. If she is showing us... I always wondered who else she was showing. I had a child when I was 17 and want to try to keep my girls away from the temptations as long as possible.

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Hi A.,
I am a Christian and a mother of two. (1 girl). If your girls are involved in church and you've been raising them to respect themselves and not have sex before marriage, I don't think a Victor's Secret's gift card will do any harm. Victoria's Secret has great pajamas and quality bras for girls their age. Not mention perfumes and lotions. I think if you don't act as if it's a big deal, they will appreciate the trust and respect. BUT, I would definitely check what they bought with the gift card. :) Hey, you're their mom after all!
Have a Merry Christmas!

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You have to go by what you're comfortable with for your child. Some people may or may not agree but at the end of the day she is your child. You also may want to run it by your husband. That conversation may be a short one (NO!!!). =)

In one of the malls here in Jacksonville Victoria's Secret has 2 stores-one for underwear & bras & the other has nothing but makeup, lotion, shower gel & things like that. You're the parent so if you decide that it is ok for her to have the gift certificate just let her know what is off limits in the store before you take her shopping.

Now this is going to sound crazy from a mom of a 2 year old boy. But like you said it is nice to have quality undergarments. They do not have to be lacy and what not. But just thinking about my own situation, my son has been potty trained for 8 months and I cannot even begin to add up the cost I have spent on undies from Hanes, fruit of the loom, target brand and etc that fall apart after 2 washings…I wish there was a QUALITY undie maker for boys. Personally knowing how frustrated I am with the packs you can buy in the store, I don’t see any harm in it. I am sure that you are not only protective of your girls but I’m sure yall have a close relationship, and have or could talk about what you may plan to buy from the store. I feel the quality stuff does last longer. And they do have some very cute patterns of “pink” panties, I LOVE their boy shorts. But again I am a mom of a 2 year old boy, who is just frustrated with the undie makers. LOL….

well at victoria secret its not just stuff for women anymore there are stuff for teens ! i suggest you say yes to the offer and go with them to the store they have all types of stuff including: pj's, backpacks, undies, bras, lip gloss, t-shirts! stuff that you wouldn't really mind them having. but go in there check it out first and then make your suggestion! or you can take the gift card buy what you think they will like and give that to them and say it was from the relative!! hope it helps!

I dont see any reason for a gc to a lingerie shop at that age. Yes, they do sell other stuff there (perfume, panties, bras, etc.) But so does Macy's. There isn't anything in the store that is appropriate for them that isnt available elsewhere. I think a girl should go into a lingerie shop when she is old enough to drive herself there and has her own money to buy it. I do not think you are being overprotective at all in this case. Go with your gut and dont forget to thank the person for asking. That was very considerate of her, I think. Good luck.

Dear A.,

Your fears are on the money, have you ever been to Victoria's Secret? It is mostly very sexy underwear and night gowns. 12 and 14 is no age to try to entice men.
Wait till they graduate high school at least!!!!

I'd be very suspecious of that family member.

D. P.

I would say no thanks to the gift card and have the friend get gift cards for somewhere else. Electronics, department stores, restaurants, there are lots of choices.

I think it's a little weird to get a gift card clearly meant for sexy or cute underwear for Christmas. But that's just me.

I would say no to the friend and then I would take the girls myself when I thought it was OK, or if and when I wanted them to shop there (as you said, because YOU do).

Follow your gut. Obviously, this request does not sit well with you - otherwise you would not have posted. I am also over protective, but my little girl is only 3. Say no, its a gift card. There are tons of other stores way more appropriate to a 14 year old than victoria secrets.
C.

Well, I haven't read the other posts... but I don't see the issue as long as you take the girls over to VS and set limits. Not everything they have there is sexual. They do have regular underware and bras - I would purchase only those for myself. They even have regular clothing. I have bought pajamas there for my grandmother! LOL! They were flannel, but super cute with polkadots and cute colors. Next year that is all I am buying - all the girls in our family are going to get VS flannels pjs.

Don't forget that being overprotective can backfire... so you are right to pick your battles. You know what's best for your girls.

A.,

Your daughter is on the cusp IMO of being of an age to shop at Victoria's Secrets.

But they do have fragrances as well a the undergarments that girls of that age like.

If you have reservations you can suggest Bath & Body Works if you daughter likes to smell good, & use different bath stuff.

(Hope it is not too late to submit an opinion)

Personally, I'd give them a playful side-ways glance with a raised eyebrow and ask "still a little young for that, don't you think?" and express how appreciative you are with them asking first.

I didn't really know about VS until I was 18 and in college. Maybe we didn't have the stores when I was in high school. Looking back, I wish I could have had pretty things and not stuff my mom bought from dept stores. Not sexy things, just cute pink bras, etc. Maybe that explains why I ended up working there part-time for about 3 years.

A.,

I say that you're the Mama and you get to say how you feel. With that said, maybe this will make you feel better... Victoria's Secret has a line called Pink that is more cutesy than their normal stuff - it is also aimed at a younger age group and usually everything is made from cotton with bright colors. So, I think you could take your girls to spend the certificates, if they agree to use them on Pink merchandise - or other Mom approved items (they have makeup and perfumes too). Be aware of some suggestive language of some of the garments in the Pink line - not all of them, just a few. Also, there are PJ's and other items, so you can avoid the pantie scene altogether - if you want to. Overall I think it would be okay, but don't step outside of your comfort zone. If you don't want your girls to have it - say no. :) Merry Christmas.

In response to the edited question: I had a few pieces from VS in middle school and then as my undergarments needed to be replaced, they would just come from there so that by the time I was in high school that is nearly all that I wore. This was purely for the superior quality, as you mentioned. I won't have a problem with my daughter using the (age appropriate) products as well as soon can fit in them. :) Hope that helps a bit.

Honestly A., Victoria's Secret is just too mature for a 14 year old girl. I'm sorry, I do not see why a young girl needs to be concerned about wearing sexy little undergarments. Whose gonna see them anyway? Yes, you are right to pick your battles but I believe you should stand firm on this one. I was not able to afford VS stuff until I had a real full time job and by then, I was an adult who appreciated what it meant to wear something sexy under my clothes. I just do not believe VS is appropriate for a young girl. And the clothing line is much too mature for a young girl of 14 and even stuff like the tank tops, they are low cut, revealing. I know this for sure, because I frequently purchase many items from VS and even the shirts are mature. I say, send her to Old Navy or Gap. I hope this helps.

Hi A.

I think that is a little too early of an age to be getting a VS card. I'm sure since they asked they too might have second thoughts about it. Maybe it was even a card they got that they will never use and are just trying to re gift it. Just simply say you buy their personal wear and a gift card from a more general store would be a great option. Hope everything goes well ..... Happy Holidays!

A. - I too am very protective over my girls, now almost 13 and 11. I would not allow my children to shop there. Period. That is not a store for girls under the age of 16 in my opinion. Either accept the gift card and use it yourself - giving the dollar amount back to your CHILD to shop somewhere else or just say NO - you are incharge - take control. If it is coming via the mail it might get lost anyway!! You have the right to decide. If she uses it now she will want to get all future bras from there. Don't let it start now and have a longer battle on your hands.
My girls are still grossed out by getting boobs, I have to nag my oldest to even wear a training bra, and she is in middle school!

Good luck

M. F

I think your girls are old enough but they have to understand that Mom gets veto power on whatever they are shopping for. You can explain this to the relative buying the gift, too, so your wishes are crystal clear. You get to decide what is appropriate and what you feel comfortable with. Some simple cotton underwear or pajamas are fine. It will make them feel grown up and special. You can say no to sexier things. I love their catalog and buy cotton t-shirts and some blouses so you have that option, too. Good luck.

i would say no till at last 16 yrs. when that stuff starts there's no stopping! i'm old and stuffy lol

Hi. I have a 12 yr old daughter who is growing up very fast. Her cousin gave her a pushup bra from victoria's secret which she wore non-stop until it was brown with sweat stains. I knew she needed new bras and told her we'd go to Steinmart where I buy mine (great deals!!) She threw a complete fit that all she really wanted were the VS bras. I finally conceded. She got 4 new bras there at a fairly good price. One is bright pink with heartson it, another bright blue with something else, others in neutral beige and black. They fit her little body perfectly and are very nicely made. Quality design. Although she is all about her boobs these days, the only real argument I have is when she wears a t-shirt that is cut too low and the boobs scick out above the shirt. We fight about it and I insist she change or wear a tank under the shirt. I can see this will be an ongoing battle, but I gave up the one over the bras. They really did fit better than the others. I am glad I gave in on them.

good luck
S.

Hi A.,

Although usually when you hear "Victoria's Secret" people tend to think of lace panties and sexy lingerie, nowadays VS has tons more things. I know in high school it's popular for girls to wear the work sweatsuits that say "PINK" on them which is a VS brand, and also they have a whole catalog full of jeans of all fits, cute tops, sweaters, bathing suits, etc. Personally, I think they're underwear stuff is overpriced and use my own gift certificates on their clothing! If you feel uncomfortable, just monitor what she goes and buys or help her shop online for the clothing. Put restrictions on what she can use it towards. But I think the gift itself would be okay. The sex-oriented things they offer are now only a very small portion of their merchandise. Good luck!

Let her pick out some pretty underwear and bras, maybe cute pj's...Go with her and get yourself something nice, too.

I would take her to Victoria's NOW and clearly explain the differences in underwear. I would rather be the one informing as opposed to one of my daughter's friends ... who might be leaning one way in the form of peer pressure or jealousy (moms with girls know all those issues).

I also like it for myself as I think it's a better quality than Hanes, etc. I would point out the aspects of the different styles and what to look for (blends last longer than 100% cotton or if she prone to yeast infections to avoid 100% nylon) in underwear. I would also let her know about thongs and while they are "cool" for some, they do prohibit privacy in the locker room when they have to change clothes in front of each other and they are also limiting with the kinds of hygiene products they can use while experiencing their periods, which can be a major issue if they are NOT using tampons. These are the issues they need to know about since their friends may be less informed and God forbid they have an accident with their period in front of the class or out in public!

I personally would rather be the doing the talking and opening up the dialogue than playing catch-up and damage control. I don't think that's being overly protective but more spot-on with parenting. Good luck. :)

I disagree that they have quality products, but that's besides the point. If she were to go in there, I'd be sure to take her. You probably don't let her run around the mall by herself so that probably isn't an issue either.

A.,

This could be a touchy subject, or it could be a very nice gift. I too was young when I had my children...my first was born when I had just turned 20. Though neither are into their teens, I also have a girl scout troop with girls aged 11-16...so lots of experience with that age. I do not think that a Victoria Secret gift card is inappropriate for a 14 y.o. Victoria's Secret is a pretty classy store with a wide variety of merchandise. Your daughter could find lotion or pjs or many other items that are perfectly fine for a girl her age. I would go with her to be a guiding force and to openly discuss any questions she has. But really, there's not much to worry about in VS. The stores are usually laid out in a way that you can see scents and lotions, or pjs and sweats, without being overwhelmed by lingerie. As long as you are there to talk to her about anything she has questions about, I dont think it should be a problem at all.
Good luck with everything! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

Your girls are old enough (with your suppervision) to go into the store to pick out pjs or underwear. I think some things they have in there would not be appropriate for their age but if you go with them you have they say on what they can and cant get. If you don't want them to pick clothing they have very nice makeup, lotions, body wash, perfumes and stuff too. Im sure whatever you think is right for your children is what you need to tell the relative. They wont be offended if you say no if they asked for your permission. Lets face it girls their age need bras and underwear just like us, and they are not cheap, so as long as you are approving their selections i dont see the harm in it. Good luck.

I think you are being smart. I don't have teenage girls but I am with you, 14 is a little young. I would tell your friend to pick them out some cute pjs from Victoria Secret from the "Pink" collection. The Pink collection seems a little more geared towards teenagers without being too suggestive. Might be a good compromise. Good luck.

Good she asked. I understand they do a great job of properly fitting bras- a great thing to have at 14, but dept stores do that as well.
Does Victoria's secret send the message you want for your child?
Whatever your answer to that question- is your answer.
best, k

I'm glad you asked this question because it has made me think about what I would do if I where you. I also have two girls even though they are still very young it could happen to me.I would how she felt about shopping at victoria secret. Then depending on the response then I would be up front with her first and tell her what she can and can not buy I'm not sure how old your daughter is) turn it into a mother daugher shopping/ bonding time.ie you could say I want to see what you get before you buy them (I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your daugher but she should know how you feel about some of the clothing-tell her how it was hard for you being a young mother). Or tell your friend no thank you.

I would say no. There is no reason to give a gift card to V.Secret for a 14 year old. Now they do have some cute PJs that are for teenage girls or early college (in my opinion... I am 28 and wouldn't wear them) and also some really great lotion, body spray etc. If that is what the family member had in mind why don't you suggest that to them. They can just buy it or take your daughter to let her pick something like that but not sexy undies or nightgowns, etc. I would say that kids shouldn't have that kind of freedom... the only reason to wear sexy undies is to feel sexy or show someone how sexy they are. No way a 14 year old girl needs that.
I don't have an age I would let me girls start shopping freely at VS but I don't think 14 is it. Honestly beeing the over protective mom I am I would say when you are an adult (preferably married or getting married... then its time). But ofcourse that may not be reasonable.
Hope this helps :)

My daughters are now 16 and 18. I was buying them stuff from Victoria's Secerets when they were 12 and 14. Not everything in that store is sexual. They have lotions and body sprays that my girls liked and they have sweat pants and pj's that are geared towards teens. You are the parent and you have a say so on what your girls can buy at this age. If I was in your shoes I would say yes to the gift card. Because I am very protective of my girls also and I understand what you are going through right now. And you said before you have been in the store and you know what they offer.I think it was good that your family member asked you if it was ok instead of just giving your daughter the gift certificate.

Who the H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS would WANT to give a CHILD a Victorias Secret gift card? That person either is a terrible parent - the kind that says "I let them have sex as long as they are under my roof and they promise to use a condom" OR they are not parents at all - OR they are just a creepy aunt/uncle!!

Victorias secret at @ 12 & 14 - I SAY ABSOLUTELY NOT!

No CHILD needs sexy undergarments! It's one thing that they have pretty things - but you can get pretty things at Walmart!
Tell your family member "NO THANK YOU!"

MAMA - DO NOT EVER feel bad about being over protective - you have every right - you are the one that carried that child for 9 months, you are the one who pained in labor - you are the one that has kept them safe up until now - keep goin mama - Love and Protect what is most precious to you! If your family member gives you lip - ignore them - they are YOUR children! STAND STRONG MAMA!

I don't care for VS, they never help you find the right bra unless you look like you will spend a lot on their merchandise or have an easy to work with figure. They don't even want to bother measuring you! They never helped me find out my size and once I did figure it out, I was told I was too busty for their bras and that none of their merchandise was made for people like myself, and I pretty much told them to stuff it, I found their response rude and uncalled for. I have never been blown off at JcPenney's or Macy's or Bloomingdale's though. In fact, those stores are more willing to help you find your size and they have sexy and non-sexy underwear depending on taste. The first thing they did was measure me, and they never made me feel like a freak because of the fact I'm naturally voluptuous. Why overspend on the VS underwear, which is way overpriced (especially for the quality you're getting which isn't anything special, in my opinion), when you can find equally nice things elsewhere? Your friend would be better off getting your daughter a gift certificate to a store that carries everything so she can choose whether to use it on bras and panties, pj's, tops, shoes, or some jeans that she can actually try ON (VS doesn't carry clothing in their stores, only via catalog and good luck figuring out your size that way) and is not limited to just underwear and sleepwear.

Old Navy and Target have cute PJs too. I would politely tell the relative that VS is a little too old for my child right now. But she loves to shop at _____ fill in the blank for a gift card your DD would enjoy.

I TOTALLY understand your concerns! I am so thankful I had a boy. I'm scared to death to raise a girl these days.

Maybe you could take her to one of those stores where the Pink side is separated from the rest of the store. The PINK side is more for teens... pajamas, socks, cotton undies, etc...

I don't have a daughter, so my opinion might not be worth much, but I think 14 is too young for that store. The entire store is sexually marketed. I personally didn't go in there until I was about to get married. I know they sell regular panties, bras, etc., but it's the idea behind it all that is the problem. Young girls in our culture are pushed to grow up and 'be sexy' way too fast anyway. There is nothing wrong with protecting your kids from what could be harmful. Ask if the gift card can be switched to a popular clothing store instead. I wish you the best.

I would say no thank you. When your daughter is old enough to have a job & buy things for herself she can purchase things from there if she wants. A gift certificate gives her no choice and the store just sells sex only. Who are we kidding?

Saying "if children want something, they will find a way to get it" (like the poster below said) is a ridiculous arguement for your post. You did not say your daughter is asking for it, you said a relative is asking if it's OK. I say no, it's not OK. You do not need to encourage sexiness for a teenager. Sure, VS has other stuff besides "sexy" stuff, but what is the point of letting her have a VS gift card and then policing what she buys there to make sure it isn't something "sexy". Why not just have your relative get her a gift card from a store that is more appropriate for a teenager so she can have fun shopping?? I say no way to a ninth grader shopping at VS!!!

I think Victoria's secret is okay for some things at 14. A lot of their stuff is cutesy stuff for younger girls. It's not all sexy lingerie. Just go with her when she spends it so you can have some imput on what section of the store she is shopping in.

i would do it. they really don't have anything different then walmart except for better quality. they have stuff that's not too sexy if that's what your worried about.

I do not see the point of giving a VS giftcard to a 14 year old girl. If she only wanted to buy "non-sexy/boring" underwear, bras or lotions with it, why buy the overpriced items at VS when she can buy those items at Target with a Target gift card for example. At least at Target, she can buy a CD, book or something of that nature as well with her gift card if she chooses. My first VS purchases were when I was in college...purchased with my own money. I would say let her wait until she is older. I've never heard of anyone receiving a VS gift card from a relative outside of a wedding shower (usually it is a boyfriend/husband etc) but I guess that does not mean it is not done. Either case, she is only 14 and I don't see why this would be an appropriate gift. Good luck with whatever you decide. Happy Holidays.

I think that at the point that your child is out of a training bra it would be a good idea to take them to Victoria Secrets and be fitted for one. Also as you know it is a better product and is more comfortable. I spent so many years buying cheap undergarments from Wal-Mart etc. One thing I discovered is that good quality undergarments that fit well actually make you look less trashy.

I'm sure she meant no harm. She probably had the Pink line in mind, which are the nice, comfy sweats they have there. They're very colorful and cute. I see a lot of girls your daughters' age that wear them to the gym.