VERY Picky 2 Year Old

Hi A.,

A couple things..... first - don't stress so much. Second... what's his height/weight ratio for his age? What % is he in and has it been relatively consistent for his first 2 years?

Is there a reason why he is still taking a bottle? Typically you transition to a sippy cup at 12 months.

The BEST advice our Dr ever gave us was to manage a toddler's eating on a rolling 4 day period. So - with the last 4 days (so, today you are looking at Tues, Mon, Sun, Sat.... tomorrow you will be looking at Wed, Tues, Mon, Sun etc) has OVERALL his eating been sufficient?

I agree completely with Havingfungoingcrazy that you "choose WHAT is available, WHEN it is available, and provide a reasonably calm environment during meals/snacks...the child chooses IF and HOW MUCH he/she will eat".

2 years old is a GREAT time to start setting boundaries. Don't make a big deal about it. Simply offer and if he doens't want it... he waits until the next time to eat.

I will say this..... my daughter had a 'drawer' in the fridge - (the bottom right crisper drawer) that was the snack drawer. It was filled every morning with items she could 'free feed' on. But it was ALL only healthy. I diced cucumbers, cubed cheese and turkey, small bottles of water etc etc. She knew she could eat from the drawer WHENEVER she wanted. Because.... really I don't care if she ate a helping of cucumbers and then didn't eat the peas at dinner.... it all balanced out. But I feel like she was better able to regulate WHEN she was hungry.

If your son ONLY has choices of healthy food.... he WILL eat. unless he has a sensory issue it means he is just picky and he is starting to learn that he can have some control over his environment and that this is hot button with mama and that's kind of cool at his age. So, remove ALL your emotion from food.

Also I think there is a recommended amount for milk at his age.... make sure he is not drinking too much milk. Check with his ped to make sure.

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Sounds like you are a great mom and handy around the kitchen. My MIL famously served up the same plate of scrambled eggs that my hubs had requested and then turned his nose at for days until he relinquished and ate it. He's never snubbed food ever again.

My own mother was a veritable short order chef, and would cook anything and everything in a desperate effort to get us to eat. We were picky, and sickly, and had her tied to the stove for years. It wasn't until well into high school that my palate became more adventurous.

Since your boy isn't sickly, maybe some tough love in the kitchen is the way to go. Good luck to you and yours.

Fanged Bunny

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Two is pretty normal for all the pickiness to start. I have one who will eat anything and one who is incredibly picky. I wish I had bitten the bullet at age two and just given my picky one what we were eating. Yes, she wouldn't have eaten as much for a few weeks, but then it evens out. I did the tough love eating (ie - eat what we eat or not at all) six months ago and I'm so much happier. No more fighting at meals!

So I say try it. Also, if your son is allergic to peanut butter, try almond butter or sunflower seed butter. They're both great alternatives.

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OMG, poor you! I remember those days, and now, they are back for me, in a way... I have 11 and 12 year old boys. One is taking control and eating crapola when I am not around. He buys or trades it at school. He won't eat the healthy stuff I provide at home. But he is strong and seemingly healthy. I have a friend whose son LITERALLY ate nothing but white bread, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and peanut butter and nothing else for YEARS. Her hubby is a DR, and she is a pharmcist. THeir DR told them as long as he was growing and healthy, don't worry about it too much. His is 12 now, and while I contend he is not mentally healthy, he certainly seems physically healthy. He won't eat a fruit or vegiie to save his life. I don't know how the kid poops! What I do know is that kids, all kids, seem to go through food jags. Mine did, and all of my friends kids did, too. For a week, all hot dogs. Then all week of fruits. Pizza. It was frustrating, and I remember saying all the things you said (except I didn't make everything like you, and I am NOT a health nut). Just follow YOUR heart... and don't worry too much. Whole grain bread is GREAT! how bout bread and butter? How about some of the awesome other nut butters? Honey perhaps... Bread butter and honey... mmmm.... Have him look through some magazines and tell you what looks yummy... in the end, do what you are doing... seek help from friends, and don't worry. He is eating, and he is growing, and you are all alright. Good luck, virtual friend.

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Some kids go through spurts of growth and thn they slow down and don't eat as much. He also could be drinking too much milk, By this, I mean getting full on milk. My daughter is like that when she drinks too much milk. I would like to suggest not making him special food. I did this with my oldaest and I am paying for it. She has a limited diet or what she likes!
Just a thought! Good luck!

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Totally normal what you are dealing with. If you take a look at what he will eat, it actually is fairly well balanced... it's just boring because it's the same thing over and over.

Our older daughter spent a month with this menu:
Yogurt, bagel, applesauce, raisins, grapes and any berries, PB & J (berry jellies only, thank you very much), cucumbers, red bell peppers, cheddar or string cheese and ranch dressing. All of the food groups are there, it's just lacking variety.

Her ped had told us to feed her whatever we could while she was a good eater, because there would come a time when she wouldn't be, and when that happened, he said we should feed her what she would eat, even if it was the same thing over and over. Stupid me didn't believe him because my son didn't do it, lol. She was almost three when she started. She'll be four in April and is still particular about what she will or won't try. We just offer her a balanced diet and let her pick what she'll eat from it.

You are doing good. Don't give up. It is quite normal for kids at this age be picky (for some reason I think boys have more issues with that). Get some good vitamins and supplements if you think your child is not getting enough nutrition.

YES! I have a fantastic one...Gerilyn Abood ###-###-####. Tell her K. (Pepper's Mom) referred you. She's great!

He actually sounds pretty normal to me. I think at age 2 is when the food issues really start...but then they go away in another couple of years again. At 2 they start really paying attention to what they are eating and don't like trying new things. My son is 2 and has a short "approved" list of foods as well! ;) I think you're doing fine, I really wouldn't worry. Also, my kids loved milk too but as soon as they were two we switched to skim milk and that has decreased the amount they drink for sure. THey still drink a healthy amount, but whole milk tastes way better! So, if you switch him soon he will probably decrease milk and increase other foods. The only meal I don't cater to my kids is dinner. Breakfast and lunch are whatever...cereals, sandwiches, mac and cheese, fruits, veggies, etc. But for dinner I make a meal and if my kids don't like it (they are 4/2) then they can supplement with yogurt or applesauce. Usually my 2 y/o will eat a little bit of what I've made and sometimes he eats cheese or yogurt, but sometimes not. He has had not problems going to bed or being too hungry. I think you are on the right track and hopefully it will get easier, but until then just keep on keeping on!

I'm cracking up at the MIL who served the same plate of scrambled eggs! That is SO something my mother would have done.

My son was very picky since he was a baby and he still is at age 7. sigh. It's hard. What we do is really encourage him to try new foods and praise him like crazy when he finds something new he likes. I cook what I would normally cook for dinner and I serve him small portions of everything. I always have one thing I know he will eat. He can have 2nds on that once he has eaten some of his other foods on his plate. He always has one fruit or veggie per meal that he likes along with whatever else I am serving. If he does not eat everything I don't worry about it. He does have to drink his glass of milk - but he is happy to do so bc he loves milk. I have no idea what to advise you bc our son has not gotten all that better about being picky. I have several friends who reassure me that they were the same way growing up and they finally became more adventurous in high school up to adult age. It drives me crazy but I can't fight a battle every meal. I don't want to either - I want meal times to be a happy time. If I am making something I know he will hate like a casserole, I will leave out pieces of plain chicken and plain veggies he can eat with his plain rice. I also serve him some of the casserole and our rule is you have to take 1 bite. He has taken 1 bite of the same foods his whole life and he is adamant that they are horrible....the rule people say of serving your toddler a food 30 times (or whatever) before they will like it sure did not work with him. As a baby and toddler he hated so many foods - he would gag and spit out food. He never would eat cheese or avocado or banana or all these normal baby/toddler foods. He still won't eat them. The thing that makes me feel better is our 2nd child we are raising the exact same way and she likes pretty much everything. She will sometimes spit something out or act like she does not like it...but I just serve it to her again another time and she usually likes it. It makes me so happy to know it is not anything I did to make my son picky - it is just something genetic going on inside him...textures or tastes are too strong for him? Who knows. This last year we gave him a food challenge and my aunt offered to pay him $15 if he found 3 new foods he liked in one month. He did it! Just today we went out to eat at a Japanese restaurant and he discovered he loved the tofu in the miso soup (as well as the soup). He was very proud to discover something new he likes.

The best advice I've ever heard with regard to kids and eating is...You choose what is available, when it available, and providing a reasonably calm environment during meals/snacks...the child choose IF and how much he/she will eat. Having had several close family members and friends suffer severely with eating disorders...I believe pretty strongly that making food an 'issue'...can backfire :/. And honestly, the foods he likes are pretty decent for a two year old...He's really not poorly nourished or anything like that. Don't stress...sounds like you're doing awesome! He's getting used to fruits and vegie's and whole grains - there are adults that struggle with eating those! I would just be very calm and positive and always include one or two healthy things he likes in with the meals...and leave it at that.

have a 4 year old that stared picky from the start. I would have thought I gave birth to a rabbit. While that sounds great that a baby/toddler loved veggies. Thats ALL she loved and only about 8 types of veggies. She would eat white or brown rice, and for snacks it was about as bad. She was not a sugar or salt lover and milk was not liked as well. She drank Soy milk of all things. Not bad but most kids hate that stuff. By 2 it was so limited I would cry thinking she was not eating enough, at one point we were forced to make her eat a protein paste from the Pediatricians, and forced to make her drink that Pediasure milk supplement. It was always a fight. Shes 4 now, eating more variety, but still quite limited. She has no allergies, just a picky eater. She has a high metabolism and a high energy drive, she is not sickly and what she eats she runs off. Its really tiresome, but I am sure she will get out of it soon. Well thats what I hope. Her 2 year old sister, will eat everything but the kitchen sink, and is not picky. The only thing she dislikes is red meat. Thats ok cause we dont eat it really. My son is a little of both, but he is just 1 and starting his preferences.

He can't eat what isn't in the house so fill it with healthy foods, no chocolate or cookies for starters, no one NEEDS those to live. Treats can be foods other than sweets. My little guy (3 in April) would live off Goldfish and yogurt if I let him, so those are his occasional treats ; )

Do offer him what you are eating and resist the urge to give him only what he wants, he truly won't starve. If he knows the things he likes aren't there, the foods you offer him will start to be more attractive. Don't react when he doesn't want to try something, instead say something like "This is SO good!" and let him see how much you and your husband enjoy it. If he doesn't eat a meal he will not starve.

My guy's pediatrician said at his 2 year checkup he's to have no more than 16 oz of 2% milk a day, some doctors go up to 24 oz for larger children, mine is average and doesn't need the extra fat and calories, and she said more could cause him not to eat. Possibly you could give your son his last milk of the day at the dinner table, 3 bites and he gets a sip, to encourage him to eat and get off the bottle?

I won't go into loads of details on how to get your son to eat, or getting him involved in his food preparation or what to offer him, this link addresses all of that:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-infants-toddlers...

Hello, I don't think the milk is hurting him. I have a three year old granddaughter who has Down Syndrome. There is no comparison to your son. However, the eating can be a worry with her. She had to be on a feeding tube and oxygen for nine weeks when she was born, due to aorta surgery. Then again at 1 1/2 for open heart surgery. She has recovered and is pretty healthy (except for ear infections which come with Down Syndrome). Anyway, due to the tubes down her throat and the sensory issues she has, she will not eat any foods which she has to chew (except for her teacher). She eats 2nd stage Gerber's macaroni and cheese and Beechnut Ham Pineapple Rice, and yogurts. We now sneak cereal into her yogurt in the morning. We are all working on getting her to chew, and I am sure that by the time she is 30, she will do so. HaHa. Her doctor has told my doctor that she is not worried. She also will rarely drink from a cup and only wants bottles. She also will only drink water from her tippee cup when she will use it and milk (soy) from her bottle. We still give her the bottle just to get some nutrition into her. This is not unusual for a child with Down Syndrome.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is, they all have their preferences. All four of my kids did. I would put things onto their plate and if they chose to eat them, GREAT. If not, then if they would at least eat what they liked, then they would be okay. All of my kids grew up healthy.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.