35 answers

Vacation Without My Baby!?

Okay gals,
My hubby REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wants to go on vacation without our 2 year old this summer. He's wanted to go on vacation since the summer we had her and she was only a couple months old - ha, fat chance. So, back then, I told him I'd go the summer she turned 2. Well, here it is, she's 2 next month and I still don't know if I'm ready or if she's ready. My hubby is in no way trying to force me to go, but he thinks it will be really good for us. We have been having a few issues, particularly with feeling disconnected from one another. I'm completely torn - want to go, but I'm worried that I won't have a bit of fun and it will be a waste of money. I'm afraid I'll spend the whole time missing her or worried that she is missing me.

So, there it is - I guess I don't know what I'm looking for. No one can tell me when the right time to leave her for a couple of nights is, I know that. I guess I'm just looking to see what people have to say, a different way of looking at leaving her with her very loving and capable grandparents (that watch her 3 days a week while I'm at work) in order to reconnect with my husband. I'm not sure it's worth it. This is just a chapter in our lives, a small window of time when she'll be little. Should I be gone?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks everyone... I'm going, I'm going! We're going for 2 nights... Where should we go?? LOL.

Just a quick clarification... Yes, my hubby and I are feeling disconnected, but we're in no way on the verge of divorce. We're just both working and he's going to nursing school full-time. We just don't have a lot of time together. So, it's not like my marriage hinged on this vacation or anything - if it did, it wouldn't have even been a question! Also, I went back to work full-time this year when I really didn't want to. So, I feel like I miss a lot already. I think it would be different if I could stay home, like I want to - it might not be different, but I think so.

Thanks again for the positive feedback!

Featured Answers

I left my 2 young sons (age 2 and 4) for a long weekend away with my husband. We found each other again, and are better parents for the time we spent away. Too often people forget how to be lovers once they are parents, but you need to be both. Some time away together can rekindle that flame.

More Answers

OMG -save your marriage and go have some adult fun! It sounds like your husband is yearning for this, and ALL couples need to reconnect without any kids around. So many marriages dissolve into hurt feelings, infidelities and ultimately divorce because when the kids come along -there's a huge disconnect as all the attention is turned from the marriage onto the kids. I would LOSE it if I wasn't able to get away at least once or twice a year with my hubby and/or my girlfriends. You may not realize just how much you actually need this! At least go give it a try and go in with a positive attitude -that you're going to go and enjoy it and enjoy being alone with your husband!

As far as you missing something -how long are you planning to go anywhere? Anything a week or less -you're not going to miss anything and you will probably re-discover your relationship with your husband, which is REALLY important too!

Here's another hint that may sting -if she's staying with adoring grandparents who watch her 3 times per week already -she may not miss you at all! She probably will a little -maybe ask where mommy and daddy are, but she's going to be having a great time herself!

I also have to add this note -do this while you CAN! I have no idea what age the grandparents are, but my mother died unexpectedly last year, and this is no longer an option for my husband and me together -one of us has to stay home for at least the next few years until the kids are old enough for a camp week or something. We're taking our nanny on our vacation this year just so we can have a few afternoons and dinners out by ourselves. We get sitters and use my MIL for date nights, but we don't have the option for weekends or a week away (My MIL and my father can't handle both small boys by themselves. We tried splitting them up for my birthday weekend in January, and it worked okay, but I don't think my Dad will ever do that again!). So, take advantage of what many people don't have!

1 mom found this helpful

GO ON VACATION!

She will be fine while you are away, and if you are really worried about it plan a lot of fun events for her to do with grandma and grandpa so that her mind will be wrapped up in so much fun that she won't even have time to think about missing mommy. Maybe the zoo or something along those lines.

Also, instead of telling her that you are going on vacation tell her that she is going on vacation. Only big girls get to go on vacations. She'll feel really special feeling like such a big girl to be able to go on a "vacation" to grandma and grandpa's house.

Go with your husband and have a good time. Just remember that you can't feel guilty for having a good time without her because she is having just a good of time without you! Hehe

1 mom found this helpful

I say go for it! You have a hubby who wants to spend time with you - yea! You have great caregivers that you trust and are family - another yea! You don't have to book a month long cruise to have a meaningful getaway with your husband. Plan something not too long and not too far away, that will maybe help you feel a bit more secure. Your daughter may show signs of missing you, but trust me, it will not harm her or damage her in any way. It will be very good for you to get away, not only for yourself but for your hubby too. I do not think you should feel guilty about a short time away from your little girl - honestly, you will not be missing much of a window of time at all with her, not by just taking a short trip. I'm sure the grandparents would be very willing to keep you up to date on everything to ease your mind as well. Don't forget that you need to take care of you and your marriage as well as your daughter to have a happy, healthy family.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't understand why you won't have fun with your husband? You had fun with him before you had your daughter, right? Remember your husband is part of your life too. Just becasue you have a child, you shouldn't forget your husband. The fact that he listened and waited 2 years for this vacation seems that he is really committed to making your relationship strong again.

However if you are not committed as well. Then it will probably be more hurt then help. If you go away and are pre-occupied with thoughts of your daughter- then he will know and it will really really hurt him that you are not interested in your relationship with him any longer (which is how it sounds)

There will ALWAYS be a "chapter in your lives" - time does not stand still, so if you are using that as an excuse for not going, then you will never go becasue she will always be changing and you'll always be afraid of missing something.

1 mom found this helpful

Go! Go fast! In fact, can your parents watch my kids too? LOL! Seriously, time away will do you a world of good. You'll be gone a few days, not months. Even a night away can do wonders in helping you reconnect with your husband. Your daughter will be just fine with out you (as hard as that is for us moms to admit). She'll LOVE spending the time with her grandparents too. In fact, I would bet that you'll be planning your next vacation as soon as you get home ;)

1 mom found this helpful

Well you ask if it will be a waste of money.. I'll tell you it's a lot cheaper then a divorce and raising your child on your own by not putting your husband as your priority!! 2 years old.. Heck, 6 months old is old enough.. Of course depending on how long you're gone. We did just a romantic overnight getaway just downtown when our son was 3 months old.. You need it, your husband needs it and most importantly your child needs a loving and happy parents that stay connected!! You don't have to go for 1 or 2 weeks, I still haven't done that and we have a 3.5 yr old but we do a date night once a week and take long weekend getaways frequently!!! It's so important to do this for the future of your family.. Your child may miss you for about 20 minutes and then he'll be fine and it's important to VCR your grandparents this time with them as well.. You're lucky to have them.. Why are you even thinking about it... Go, call and make your reservations now!! Remember this is one if the best investments you can make for yourchild!!

1 mom found this helpful

Oooh. Tough question but I can totally relate! You sound like such a sweet, connected Mama! Put it this way, she will be fine...the question is, will you? I have slept very few nights away from my kids (now 2 and 4.5) but I didn't get a night away from #1 until she was 2 1/4 and it was just one night. I did worry a little but she actually had fun with my parents and didn't seem to miss me as much as I thought she would--which I was happy about because the only way I could relax was if I knew she wasn't miserable without me. I left Baby #2 for the first time when she was 16 mos. old and it was for 2 nights and 2.5 days. She was still nursing so I worried she would wean. But again, she did fine--and she didn't even wean which I was happy about. I have to be honest, I surprised myself because I actually did manage to relax and have fun. If you do choose to go, she won't remember later in life that you were ever gone and it doesn' t sound like too long of a trip...three nights or so? A week would be too long for me, even now but three nights, yeah, I could swing it. :) Especially the sleeping in part....Zzzzzzzzzz.

Go, go, go on a vacation with your man!!! My husband and I recently went through a space where we felt very disconnected. Children can really make keeping a marriage strong really tough! But, if mommy and daddy are happy, the kiddos are happy....this I truly believe, and have experienced first hand! I left my 1 year old to go on a 10th anniversary vacation a few years ago. It was really hard for the plane flight over, and maybe the first night, but after that, I relaxed and talked to her on the phone every day. It was such a wonderful time for my husband and I, and I am sooo glad we did it! Your little girl will still be 2 when you get back! If you always put your children before husband, it will only pull you further away from your husband! Just do it...everyone will be happier:)

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