I paint and distress a lot of furniture.
A lot of people do #1, where they leave the tops them same and just paint the legs/spindles. That look usually looks best if the black is not distressed, b/c the other wood is usually left undistressed. But that feels so overdone to me.
If it were me, I would paint and distress everything the same color. I have a hard time changing a color, so if I were to paint chairs/bench a different color and I don't like it in a year, I wouldn't likely change it back but just deal with not liking it. Maybe you are more ambitious than me!
OR< I would do the chairs or bench a different color, like a dove gray or white. Would look pretty with beautiful with a black table.
You can add in a fun new color by painting a large canvas and hang it next to the table, get a colorful table runner for the table or a large red vase/jug.
Keep in mind, black gets dusty looking quickly, so even if you distress it, you still want to seal it.
I compiled a bunch of black, white and gray painted furniture on my blog when I was making these decisions, maybe one idea will pop put at you: