UPDATED: How Often Do You Let Your Kids Have Dessert?

I'm sorry, but I am sitting here in front of my computer, reading all of these responses, and I feel like I'm on another planet!!! I'm trying so hard not to laugh!!! My kids eat "dessert" or treats or whatever you want to call them every day. They eat healthy food, too, but when my son wants a cookie, I don't limit him to one, he can have several. I was raised on koolaid and Oreos (weren't you??!??) My kids are huge water drinkers (I know an awful lot of kids who are soda drinkers) so no koolaid here, but pretty much everyone I know lets their kids have cookies, candy, "dessert", etc..... Not sure if the majority of you who answered here have smaller kids (my older ones are 10 and 12), or what. But I'd like to speak up for all of the silent moms reading this who are like me but are too shy to speak up who I KNOW are out there!!! I take my son (age 3) to swimming lessons and his teacher has candy for the kids when they're done. She has stickers, too, but I have NEVER seen a parent say their child can't have the candy. They happily give their child a lollipop and these are MORNING lessons! I have 3 kids and over the past 12 years I have NEVER been to a birthday party nor thrown one where a parent has limited the size of the slice of cake or otherwise limited the treats, or even made it clear to the child that this was a special occasion because they "normally" wouldn't allow their kids to eat sugar (with the exception of my niece, who is allergic) Seriously, I know there are way more of us out there than are represented here! What type of difference will it make in a child's life if you give them ice cream only 4 days a week instead of 7? If they are otherwise eating healthy, I just don't get the big deal it is to give them treats. (By the way, our family is on the small side-- no worries about them being over weight. If you have weight issues in your family, that's a different ball of wax.... but even still, moderation is fine-- a smaller scoop of ice cream, for example)

6 moms found this helpful

My kids have a treat of some kind everyday. It may be a Popsicle or cookie in the afternoon or something special I made for after dinner. I do not think a sweet a day does any harm,and in fact many think it is a good thing, because anything completely denied just becomes that much more desirable. I do not want food to be an issue for my children, so I do not make it one.

5 moms found this helpful

I second what Ree Al Uh T (love the name btw!!) said! And, for all you moms out there who are nazi's about what your children can't eat...more than likely they are scarfing down junk food at friends houses or school and eating more junk than they would if you would just let them have it in the first place! Sugar is not a bad word in our house.

4 moms found this helpful

Dessert? Never. I grew up without sugar in my diet until I was 10. My husband has dessert every night. I don't crave sugar, he does. My teeth are excellent, his are a mess. Sugar before bed? Never.

When our son was 3, I gave him a natural fruit leathers at a birthday party. All of the moms stood there with their arms crossed and asked me what was so wrong with sugar and why didn't I let me kid have sugar. All of this while thier kids ate GIANT pieces of cake. I calmly, without defending said, "Well, if you can tell me ONE positive thing sugar does for a growing child's body, I'd consider it." The room was silent.

Now that our son is older, he will get ice cream probably every few months. We homeschool now, but when he was at school, he brought all of his treats home and then we'd discuss it. He'd to choose between part of the treat, if it was huge or having something at the birthday party he was invited to. I always let it be his decision, but I was giving him 2 choices that I found as acceptible.

A few days ago, we were at my grandmother's home and there was a Coke open, my 7 year old asked me what it tasted like. I told him it was a fuzzy sugar taste. I offered it to him he was heistant, has a sip and then made a face and said, "That's disgusting." Fine with me, that's why I offered it.

IF they get anything with sugar in it, then they HAVE to have protein first to balance the blood sugar first.

I think your kids will be better off with your good diet choices. Good for you.

3 moms found this helpful

We do dessert pretty much every day. However, my kids have no sweets, no juice, no sugary cereal, no junkie crackers etc throughout the whole day. Their diet is largely based on whole grains, fruit, vegetables, nuts, beans and cheese. They know what "junkie" foods are and what real foods are. Their dessert often consists of a who fruit popsicle, fruit with whip cream, a small scoop of breyers ice cream etc. Even in our deserts we stay away from any preservatives, high fructose cs, and hydrogenated oils about 95% of the time. There are times when I think maybe we should cut our desserts out but I feel like my kids eat healthier as a whole than at least 75 percent of the children we know so I feel ok with it :)

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I'm so glad to see you question. I am a mom that has a very healthy eater. I have always limited the sugar and desserts and would get really annoyed about how many parties would happen in her preschool(at that age, children would just enjoy extra games for a celebration). Yes, it is nice to have a treat every once in a while, but the constant bombardment in our society is crazy. My husband is from Hong Kong and he is still amazed at the whole concept of constant dessert. I have started giving in more because I am now afraid that when she gets older, she may start sneeking if she was never allowed to have it. When I do give her a treat(1-2x a week), it is usually a more healthy cookie, a small piece of dark chocolate. We also talk about using exercise to help the body regulate the not so good food choices we sometimes make. Luckily, even at 6, she loves to hike and bike with the family.

Anyway, enough rambling. I'm just glad someone is asking the same question.

N.

3 moms found this helpful

Only 2-3 nights a week and I try to pick something that is still got for them..like strawberry shortcake. :)

3 moms found this helpful

We have dessert about 4 days out of seven. But we don't have any other treats, no candy or stuff like that during the day. If we do, then we won't have dessert...

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The latest research on sugar is rather shocking. So while it may be a curious things what other families are doing, why would you want to follow suit on what most Americans are doing to trash their health? My daughter gets treats when we eat treats. Family get-togethers are the main place so about once a week there. She also gets a sucker twice a month or so in the car to keep her awake when I have to push errands late. If I need to occupy her while I have a dr.s appt. I might give her some bunny grams. She gets atleat 2 desserts/ treats a week. In addition she is getting a gummy bear with her potty training. Just this week we made chocolate cupcakes and she is getting one (she eats half, no frosting) at dinner, but when they are gone that will be it for a while. Her father was giving her cookie dough 3 times a week a while back but I put an end to it. I am trying hard to keep it to two treats a week, but its hard with indulgent dad's and grandparents around. I wish I were a bit more of a dessert nazi- so if you are, keep it up.

3 moms found this helpful

You need to do what's best for your family - if you can pull it off! LOL! I think what you're doing is great, if your kids aren't asking for dessert, don't give it to them. We eat an awful lot of dessert in our house. I truly wish our house was more like your house. My kids aren't picky eaters, either, and basically eat healthy things, homemade dinners, fruits and veggies. But dessert is a real weakness and we indulge at least 3 - 4 times a week with official after dinner "dessert". Other things like candy at the theater or smoothies at the mall don't even count as "dessert". For us, "dessert" is a sweet after-dinner treat that is served at the table. Any other time of day and it's not "dessert". So let me adjust my "3 - 4 times a week" to a solid "7 times a week"! Yep, my kids eat something sweet everyday! It's a good thing they're active and eat the healthy stuff to balance out all that sugar....I'm super envious of mothers who tell me "oh, my kids don't have a sweet tooth, they HATE chocolate and ice-cream!". Yeah, their kids don't have a sweet tooth because all the sweet teeth ended up in MY kids' mouths!

3 moms found this helpful

Eh... we're pretty lax. We only have "dessert" on holidays and birthdays, but we have sweets of all kinds year round. Basically, whenever we want, and that changes on the season. Kiddo (Ds7) eats every 3 hours (except during snowboard season when he eats every hour he's on the mountain)... so it really depends on the day. Sometimes a couple times a day, sometimes not for a few weeks. Typically there's a limit of "You already had x today, you don't get y as well"... but we may as well have a pot of chocolate on the stove all winter, and the popsicles & other icy things are constant in the summer.

- Otter pops all summer long
- Applejuice popsicles ditto
- Pina Coladas ( virgin of course) ditto again
- Ice cream with chocolate syrup once every few months for a few days in a row, or after a performance (like a play)
- Brownies for breakfast (especially after deaths, we've been averaging 1-2 per year since kiddo was a year old, just bad luck, but it's part of our mourning ritual)
- Frozen Girl Scout Cookies
- Truffles (i make 'em twice a year)
- Stuffed Baked Apples in the fall
- PepperCandied Strawberries
- Tiramisu
- Birthday Cakes
- Xmas Pudding
- Berry and Squash cobblers and pies
- M&M or skittle "math"
- Gum Drop molecules & chemistry
- S'mores with camping
- Mochi (as in the pounded kind) during mochizui
- Greek Yogurt with Honey
- Baklava
- Hot Chocolate w/ whipped cream

The list goes on. We're active people (average of 8 hours a day of high impact exercise, some days only 2 other days 10, but mostly 8ish), and we eat really healthily (sweets make up maybe 1/20th of our diet) so it's no biggie. Like I said, it's mainly seasonal (berry pies late summer, squash pie in the fall) etc., but we EAT seasonally.

3 moms found this helpful

In my home desert is sliced apples, cut up orange or banana. Ice cream , cake and cookies that kind of thing maybe once a weekend.

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We rarely serve our toddler "dessert" after dinner. However, he gets treats pretty much every day. At our house, french fries count as treats, as do cookies, frozen yogurt, popsicles, etc. If we are having a big adventure day (read: lots of errands and running around) and my son (2yr) has been behaving, following directions, etc... He often gets a treat while we're out and about as a thank you type prize for being such a trooper. Often its a fruit snack... I dol them out one by one for good behavior, sometimes its french fries as part of lunch or afternoon snack. He gets candy everyday. I was fed up with the aligator wrestling at diaper changes and resorted to bribes. Now, he gets a small something (gummy bear,jelly bean, M& M, Hershey Kiss, etc...) for good changing table behavior. All that being said, when given the option between the an apple and a cookie, he chooses the apple. I'm pleased enough with the food variety in his regular diet, to not worry so much about the extra candy. For me, not fighting about diaper changes and carseat protocol are worth it.

3 moms found this helpful

My kids great a small treat (piece of candy, gum, etc) every other day or so. Not every day. I don't have a chart or something to keep track of when they eat it, etc. As far as that goes it is totally a judgement call, what they were doing, behavior, what they have eaten, etc.
As for actual dessert (ice cream, cake, cookies, etc.) my son feels dinner is not finished without dessert especially if he ate all his food but he doesn't get it all the time. Maybe once or twice a week. More in the summer probably because the days are longer and more relaxed bedtime and meal times, its hotter, etc.
One rule we always stick to is that all family members must eat all their food before anyone can have desert. Well that limits our days of the week quite often because it is not easy to get 3 kids to always eat all their food. Especially because if it is something healthy (like green beans) and they don't like it... it is still put on the plate and required to eat at least a certain amount before leaving the table, but if all 3 plates are not empty dessert is not even mentioned because they know it will not happen! ]
My husband eats "dessert" for breakfast....cookie, candy bars, etc. But he has always been that way and he has a younger sister who is12... who eats that for breakfast too..... she was doing terrible in school, unfocused, couldn't stay awake, concentrate, etc..... one morning without my MIL knowing she snuck and had a can of Pepsi and a carmel apple from a festival the night before........ her teacher asked what was different... it was her best day the whole year. So after my MIL found out about her breakfast she did some experimenting over the next several months without my SIL knowing. Turns out she does much better in school when she has a crappy/dessert breakfast then when she eats normal eggs, toast, etc.
I am not saying you are a stick in the mud, if what you are currently doing works for you and your family great. Keep it up.
My dinners are almost always (soccer season makes me crazy so we eat out about every other week but) homemade healthy loaded with veggies, fruit, etc. The girls and I could live on fresh fruit and veggies and pasta, grains,etc. (we do all summer in fact) but the guys (hubby and 11 yr old) need meat. I was cooking 85-90% organic and loved it but would have went back to work (just) to keep that up it just got too expensive. So I don't mind my kids eatting sweets and treats. Balance is key I think! The funniest thing about all this is........ my youngest would (and has) gladly handed over sweets/dessert for cherry tomatoes, carrots and ranch dressing, etc. I joke that she is the only kid you will meet that will put down a cookie when she sees the tomatoes come out!
Hope this helps :)

2 moms found this helpful

As long as my daughter eats well during the day she can have dessert at night. Sometimes it's every night, sometimes it's only twice a week. Just depends on her! She's only 3, so she doesn't get a whole bowl of ice cream, just one small scoop. She often times prefers to share a bowl of cereal with her daddy than to eat ice cream or cookies.

2 moms found this helpful

We rarely have dessert - I would say about once every 2 or 3 months I will make a pie or cookies, usually because we are having company. With a family this large (6 kids) it seems like every time I turn around, it is someone's birthday. We have a cake on each kids birthday and usually that lasts a couple of days. So, it was my daughter's 13th birthday on Monday and we had the last of the cake for dessert tonight. We will probably have a dessert on the last day of school at dinner and then the next time will be the 2 July b'days in the house (lots of dessert that month!). We just are not a family of sweet eaters. We also don't do "treats" like a cookie or popsicle in the middle of the day. Maybe if I had less kids, it wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but honestly I already feel chained to the stove adding any more meals/snacks would probably push me over the edge :) I do want to note that my kids are a little older (youngest is 9). When they were younger I did afternoon snack and/or bedtime snack since at that age they needed smaller more frequent meals.

Whatever you do will be right for you and your family :)

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If they don't ask for it, don't bother :) Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with giving them a healthy dessert, homemade sorbet, or cookies that you baked together.
Just a thought :)

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I want my son to learn that he can eat and enjoy any food in moderation, so I offer dessert a few times a week. Sometimes he wants it, sometimes he doesn't, and he's as likely to eat a bowl of berries for dessert as a slice of cake. I really don't want to raise a kid who "binges" on sugar whenever mom is not around, so I don't make a huge issue out of having a treat a few times per week.
I keep the house stocked with whole foods and I prepare the vast majority of my son's meals from fresh ingredients, so the occasional ice cream cone or even *gasp* corn dog is not a big deal.

2 moms found this helpful

My kids have a treat after having a healthy lunch and dinner. It is nothing big. Just something like one oreo or a fun-size milky way.

2 moms found this helpful

We have the same eating style as you guys do, and my daughter, who is a sweet-freak, eats dessert every day. One cookie, one small piece of chocolate, a small bowl of ice cream (her favorite). She gets a Sundae on Sunday, but otherwise desserts are small. My son, who doesn't care nearly as much about sweets, has the option to eat one every day, but probably choses to once every three days or so.

2 moms found this helpful

Our kids (8 and 11 yrs) get dessert almost every meal that we eat at home. However, dessert is not what you probably think. Most of the time it is like ONE cookie (oreo, girl scout, something homemade) or 2 or 3 strawberries with whipped cream, or a single popsicle (the small kind of frozen ice in tubes). It can even be a tube of yogurt or a small serving of jello.

It is not some kind of cake or ice-cream, or something an adult would likely call a "dessert"... but just a little taste of something a little more "indulgent".
It makes them happy, and in my mind, demystifies sweets. They aren't "taboo" so that they crave them all the time. They aren't some HUGE treat to "make your day". It is just a little something. They learn to enjoy it, but also some self control and that it isn't the "end all be all" to eat something sweet.

I'm probably in the minority, but I grew up rarely having any kind of sweets in the house... and it made me crave them all the more. To this day, I still have a hard time NOT over indulging if there are sweets, especially chocolate. We are teaching our kids moderation. They enjoy the "dessert" but they don't feel deprived and crave it if they don't have it either. It's just not that big of a deal.. and I think that is a good thing in a LOT of areas.....
All things in moderation... right?

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I think it's okay to let kids eat sweets once in a while, when they ask for them. I worry that making arbitrary rules like "only after dinner" or "not on school nights" adds to the mystique and makes kids MORE interested in eating them.

I was raised without dessert so it never really crossed my mind with my son. He and I eat sweets when we feel like it (when we bake usually) but it's never a "special treat."

My son has very healthy eating habbits, and will choose healthy options most of the time, so if he asks for a bowl of lime sorbet between meals, I see no harm in giving it to him.

Also, I'm not sure what most people would consider dessert or sweets. Plain yogurt with fruit and honey? Banana bread? These are sweet "treats" and have plenty of sugar but we make them ourselves so I know they aren't full of colors, and artificial flavors.

Hope this helps.

T.

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This is such a great question! My son (11yo) will eat a sweet every day. Bad mommy! He is a very, very active kid. I don't limit anything else he eats. He makes great choices most of the time. He will choose fruit for dessert some of the time, but I think it's funny when he asks if he may have some Hot Cheetos for dessert. My son is only allowed "junky" food when his daily requirements for healthy are complete. He's really a great self-monitor. He only asks for food when he's hungry. Unlike me, who was told she could only eat 3 meals a day (now, I graze and it is soooo much better). I actually lived with a family where they never had sweets in the house as kids, but as adults if someone bought a treat, the whole thing would be gone in an evening; cake, package of cookies, bag of Hershey kisses. Crazy! They acted as if they had not just eaten the world's biggest meal.
Honestly, I think you need to do what is comfortable for your family. You can always feed healthy and call it a treat.
Good luck and stick to your guns if it is what you want. Don't cave to peer pressure.
S.

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My boys are 3 and 5. The 5 year old never ate sweets when he was smaller and I found that he would start hiding candy from birthday parties to eat it later. So, I now give them treats/desserts "almost" daily (it depends on what and how well they've eaten that day) but our desserts can be apple slices with honey, frozen Stoneyfield Yogurt squeezers, 2 small cookies, watermelon, a sugary cereal like (Special K Chocolatey Delight) and stuff like that. Occasionally they will get ice cream or a bigger dessert. My older son is in school and gets a snack that is brought in by other parents, I can't control what happens outside our environment but I can control what happens inside our home. I allow my boys treats but control the amount of sugar or type of sugar each treat has. I think it's important for kids to be allowed "treats" but it's up to you to be creative in giving them healthy treat options. Good luck!!

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We have something sweet each night, but it is not always sugar. Most times it is fruit.or a fruit salads.

1 mom found this helpful

We have "Saturday Night is Sundae Night!!" in our house. When the kids want some kind of treat, I'll say - "that's a great idea, we can have that on Saturday!!" It works pretty well and they can look forward to having SOME kind of treat in the near future! Most of the time the kids don't eat enough of the (homemade with love) dinner to warrant dessert, so once a week is a good compromise!

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I didn't read anyone else's answer yet. My children get one piece of candy after dinner. Every night. It is always the little snack ones (like from Easter or Valentines Day) and is gone in two bites, but they enjoy them. They do NOT get a treat if they do not eat all their veggies and what ever else I deem needs to be eaten, so there are nights where my youngest doesn't get a treat.
My boys are 7 1/2 and 4 1/2. They are both very active, thin and well behaved (for the most part!).
L.

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Check out healthy options for desserts! Buy frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, or I buy Cars Crackers, made with whole wheat and cane sugar, or Fig Newmans (the organic Fig Newton) and tell my son they're cookies. Those kinds of treats I will let my son have every other day or so. TRUE junk food like ice cream or real cookies are much more restricted - not even once a week (but my son is still very young). I think once a week is plenty for that sort of thing.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't limit that stuff much in my house, and as a result no one gorges themself on it. I also don't buy a ton of sweets, or give large amounts at once, but that's just in general. We like to bake at our house so we make cookies or cupcakes or banana bread or try a new baking recipe like once a week. Usually after tasting it I take most of it to work to pawn it off on the coworkers. There is often a small container of ice cream or sorbet on hand in the fridge. I rarely buy cookies but who can resist the girl scouts in spring? And the chocolate usually piles up between halloween, christmas, valentines, and easter. We still have a bunch of See's candy Shamrock chocolates that we are working on... I think since the stuff is always available, it's just not a big deal. Of course they have to ask though, and if it's not an appropriate time, or they've had enough, or haven't eaten any real meals yet, the answer is no. So mom and dad still have the power to say no.
I do stick with the "no dessert if you don't eat dinner" thing, I mean, that's just wrong to gice out a cookie or something if they haven't made an effort on the real meal.
Also, my kids are at either of their Grandma's during the week, one of whom has a candy jar and the other who loves to make special trips to the bakery for cookie treats. I can't control what goes on there... I just think it's best not to stress about this stuff, in moderation it won't hurt.

1 mom found this helpful

We do dessert about once a week. I will make them smoothies with frozen fruit or let them have fruit for dessert...

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Here's a twist on the treat thing. My husband came up with how many grams of sugar he thinks a treat should have - about 15 grams. My kids are older so with school, parties, etc. it's hard to not let them have treats. So we let them have one treat a day, 15 grams. Some candy bars are 25 grams, so they don't get the whole thing. Sodas are 40 grams so when they want a little soda, it's only diet soda that they get. Most treats are right around 15 grams, if it's a little over we don't fuss about it, and it's not exact. If there is a special occasion, they might get two treats a day. Some people might be shocked that they get one treat a day, but some of their friends have 5 or 6 a day! I'm shocked at what some of the moms let them have, like at the movies, one girl's mom bought her a whole soda (over 40 grams), a big bag of gummies (about 50 grams), and other stuff, and this girl has a lot of pimples. I wonder why?

1 mom found this helpful

My family is like yours. I've gone with the mantra - 'sugar tastes great, but it's not really good for you, so we just eat a little'

We have a sweet treat about once a day, but that is often 100% fruit popsicle or dates or Glee gum - I've even got them into taking their gummybear vitamins as a sweet treat (they are really, just happens to have vitamins - right!). But cupcakes, brownies, tofutti cuties, etc are in there too!
I try not to make a big deal out of sweets and just let them know that there are inferior ingredients out there that I really don't want them to have.
I had a friend in college who had an 'all natural' mom and as soon as she had her own freedom of the pantry stocked it with stuff like ding-dongs and who knows what else that stuff was. Just when I was really learning about nutrition and getting excited about it, because my mom let me eat sugary snacks as a kid.
So, kids do the opposite of what they had growing up - often.

1 mom found this helpful

We don't do a dessert. I do chop up fruit to go with dinner, though. I am more of a "special treat" person. If there is a celebration for something (tying shoes, potty, cleaning up without being asked) then I will do something like a small piece of candy or if its a BIG deal then a slushie from Sonic. They make the 100% juice ones there. I don't buy ice cream because I don't want me or my DH to eat it!

1 mom found this helpful

I heard somewhere that the Obama girls only have dessert on the weekends. My daughter is only 13 months so she doesn't understand dessert. But I think when she is old enough we will follow the President. My sister's kids get dessert every night, but her dessert is fresh fruit sprinkled with some brown sugar. Even with the sprinkling of brown sugar it is still healthier than most desserts.

1 mom found this helpful

My kids get dessert when they finish their whole dinner - or atleast everything on their plate that I know they like & have tried everything. Desset might be homemade cookies, cake, brownies, ice-cream, popciles, baked apples, jello, pudding - whatever we have in the house & ready to give them. So, over all they get it about 4 or so times a week... but if they are really good at eating they will get it everyday.

They also get candy now & then, but they have to earn it by being good and helping around the house. Kinda like payment instead of money since we don't have much money & bags of candy can be bought really cheap and last a while.

We also don't eat out much - maybe ones a month or so, but the rest of the time we do the cooking at home. But it never hurts to offer treats now & then - which is why we do the fast food every once in a while. But it's usually McD's Playplace that we go to. We also do go for walks about everyother day (if not more) when weather is nice enough for us to go.

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Hello!

I was a "stick in the mud" mom with my daughter (she will be 4 in 2 months) until the last 1/2 year or so. I have eased up on sweets and let her have dessert only if she finishes a meal. Sometimes her dessert is fruit with peanut butter or whipped cream, sometimes a cookie, or jello it just depends. If she does not finish vegetables and her main course she does not get dessert. I only let her have a bite of big desserts like cake/ice cream/cheese cake etc. If it is a birthday party I let her have a very small piece of cake or a cupcake. I personally was finding it very difficult to tell her no and then enjoy a brownie with my husband. She also has become less obbsessed with sweets as they have become less taboo.

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I have a 4 y.o. and a 2 y.o.

Candy - never if I can help it. So far it's only been Halloween and Easter. After that day is over I hide the loot, and tell them they can only eat the candy on that specific holiday, and they'll have to wait until next year.

Dessert - only on weekends, and only in restaurants. At home, sometimes a much-loved fruit is "dessert," like strawberries, or oranges. So I guess my kids get dessert about 1-3 times per week (weekend)

1 mom found this helpful

Well my son is not a sweets person but lately has wanted chocolate. Maybe twice a week, special occasions, and if we go out to eat, which is not very much. Even at Halloween, Christmas, Easter, he gets to pick out the candy he likes, we give him a piece after dinner, and after about a week, sometimes a few days, he forgets and doesn't ask it for it. We just don't really keep it in the house, for anyone. I think it depends on what you want as a parent, and if the kids are healthy and good eaters, a little treat now and then is not going to hurt

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