Unreasonable Bus Driver?

Why is she being ridiculous? It appears that your son is distracting her and she is trying to ensure that all her charges are kept safe. That's her job. You need to sit down and explain this to your son. He is responsible for his behavior not the driver. I understand that he is 5 and on the bus for a while but he is old enough to understand not to bother the person who is driving.

Let her know that you are working with him and ask her to please work with you as well. I would hate for him to be kicked off the bus.

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I don't see the bus driver as being unreasonable. How would you feel if someone else's kid couldn't follow the rules and caused an accident hurting him? That is what can happen and is why no one talks to the bus driver while the bus is moving.

He doesn't need activities, he needs to learn to obey the rules.

I only had one kid not be able to ride the regular bus but he is also Autism spectrum. So now he rides the short bus. If he were normal I would have taken everything away that was dear to him until he learned to follow the rules. I mean you do get that your son is breaking the rules, right?

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Your bus driver is right, a 5 year old out of the seat and chatting is dangerous to himself and to others. She may be overreacting a little, but she has a point, and without actually being on the bus, it's hard to say how disruptive your child is. You need to talk to your child not just about staying quiet and in his seat, but why it is so important. Also, urge him to sit at the back of them bus. Can you give him a little snack that isn't too messy? Grapes/carrot sticks? Teach him a spy game, to look out the window for a red car, a bicycle, a dog, garbage truck... Work with him on a reward system if he's good on the bus, he gets such and such treat/sticker/stamp/tv time... Also, reinforce this when YOU drive. When our son get's chatty/loud in the car, we firmly tell him he needs to remain quiet so we can drive safely. Make sure it's a rule your reinforce daily, so he understands. My son is also a 5 year old and this is his first year riding bus. He gets on the bus around 6:45 am and gets home around 3:05, so I hear you, it's a loooong day for the kids.

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Honestly, I don't think it's the bus driver that is unreasonable. Her job is to transport 25+ kids to school safely. I know if my daughter is chatting to me in my little car, it's distracting. Imagine that times 25. Yes, 6:30 is early. if he goes to bed at a decent time for a good night's sleep, plus breakfast and learning from example from the other kids, things should get better.

If your son was in your car for an hour, getting out of his seat and talking to you what would you do? Put him back in his seat.

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OK, mom. You're seeing through Mommy Goggles. There is nothing wrong with telling your son not to talk to the driver. This is NOT the driver's lack of experience. It is a safety issue. She needs to focus on driving everyone safely, not talking to kids. Tell your son not to talk to the driver. Period. Enforce when you hear he does. Make sure he sits in the middle or back of bus (unless 5 year olds have to sit in front?). Kindergarten age is not too young for consequences at home for misbehavior and rule breaking at school or on the bus. When I was young, if the bus driver told me not to talk to them, heck yeah I would stop. And my parents would have sided with the driver, hands down. They loved me, but rules were rules.

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I hate to say it but I don't think she's being unreasonable at all. Aside from the danger factor if he's getting up/distracting her etc, how incredibly annoying to listen to someone else's child telling nonsense stories. I suppose she should be in another job if she doesn't like kids but maybe she can't find another job and probably it's not really part of the job description to listen to a child's conversation directed at her as the driver. You may have to break down and get him a hand held video game. An hour at 5 years old and that early in the morning is really tough. Maybe a carpool? If you really can't drive him, I'd bend the rule on handhelds if nothing else works. An hour is a very long time for a 5 year old to entertain himself. So maybe a combo of other people's suggestion and a video game. I feel badly for your son if he gets lonely and bored but it's really not her responsibility.

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I guess I agree with most of the other posters said and you need to work it from your end. Work with your son on being quiet and still in vehicle, discuss safety (he isn't in any restraints on this bus I am guessing so is perhaps feeling the "freedom" of that after sitting a long time).

Around here, the busses are filled to capacity...thats as many as 3 kids per seat, even for big middle and HS routes (how rediculous is that physically???)..I do not know how many that is..but its ALOT of kids if they can save money on routes and have less busses out there and pay fewer drivers.

Maybe she is taking it too far and thats likely from her inexperience, but she does have a BUS FULL of small children of varying ages and behavior levels to maintain for that up to an hour drive. In the mornings kids can be grumpy and anxious about a test or undone homework or class presentation or a bully! At days end it could be the lure of the afternoon snack and playing with the new puppy at home or just running to Mommys arms....that is ALOT of balled of energy and emotion with legs and attitudes and mouths attached to deal with!

So try to see her side, work with your son, and decide if calling the bus company for advice might help the situation.

Best of luck.

5 moms found this helpful

You are right that one kid talking on the bus isn't a problem, but how many kids are on the bus?30 kids all trying to talk to you at once is very unsafe! I would have a talk with your son before school and then see if his teacher can remind him before he leaves for home. Any driver needs to hear traffic around them more than worry about a child's silly story.

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the part about talking to the bus driver is considered dangerous and distracting. the kids are not allowed to get up from their seats. in case of accident the driver would be at fault. do you have a handheld game? like lapser? ds? i give my kids their ds on the ride to school. i have to say though you may want to find a different arrangement, that is an ungodly time of the morning for him to get on the bus and be there for 1 hr drive. he is too young to endure all that.

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I'm completely baffled how he can be riding a bus for an hour to get to school. Are you sayig that he's on the bus for an hour going to school and another hour to get home? How in the world is that possible? Do you live that far out in the country? I'm surprised a bus company would do that. But because they do the driver sure as heck should have a lot of understanding and patience. It sounds like he bored out of his skull and I don't blame him. I would call the bus garage and talk to the supervisor. That's just ridiculous. She can assign him a seat a bit further from him too.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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I agree the bus driver is being a little unreasonable but, try to work with her. My guess is he's most talkative in the afternoon so maybe you could put together a "find it" sheet. This would be things he is to look for while on the bus: a blue car, a cat, a yellow house, a red flower, a dog...etc. Does he like to look at books? Maybe everyday put two different books in his bag. Or, a travel etch-a scetch. One of those drawing pads with a water pen. Put something different everyday. If it's her first year driving - she will be thankful for a kid that tells stories vs. screaming among other kids.. when she looks back. Haha.

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How about a cheap iPod so he can listen to music? Your son has the gift of gab and NEEDS to talk. The bus driver is a captive audience. As your son gets older, he will be able to control his impulse to talk better. But right now, you really need to help him control himself by giving him an alternative. Obviously, the coloring book isn't it.

In the bus driver's defense, I just want to say that this is a safety issue. Bus drivers never really want to talk to students. This one doesn't want to even hear students talking to her. The most important part of a bus driver's job is to get the kids back and forth to school without having a wreck. She may be having trouble concentrating on the road. You might not like that, but it would be great if you could try to help your son not be such a distraction for her.

D.

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I am a bus driver and talking does distract you. I have had students talk to me and I will forget a stop. That is not a good thing. Since she is new she really needs to pay attention to the road. Yes you learn alot of patience while driving a school bus. I drive the bigger one and I have 51 kids on my bus. It is very hard to watch everything. Once she is more comfortable in her job then maybe she will talk to them. It's alot of responsibilty on her and my part. We just want to make sure that your children arrive to and from school safely. As for standing up please remind him everyday that it is important to stay seated. I have had a few close calls in the last week. Ppl cutting me off or in my lane. All I hear is books and backpacks hitting the floor. I always make sure that everyone is seated and out of the aisle. Make sure that everything is attached and nothing is loose. I had a child bring a ball on the bus and it rolled under my break pedal. Very dangerous.
If you feel uncomfortable with the way that she is, speak to the school or call the bus garage. Find out what she says. My kids told me that one of their drivers wouldn't let them talk at all. Not even to each other. If a child tries to talk to me while I am driving I just say "oh yeah?" and let it go, even if I don't really listen to what they are saying I still acknowledge them. Every driver has their own rules and they should be followed. Best of luck!

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It sounds like your son is either bored or lonely or both. Could you pack a stuffed animal of action figure for him to talk to? Is there another child on the us he could sit with and talk to?

I would however be talking to his teacher, the princepal, and the manager of the bus company. This driver needs to understand that she has a very young child on her bus and sometimes he needs reassurance.

Talking to the driver is a distraction. When I used to ride the bus umpteen years ago, if the kids got out of hand, the bus driver would pull over and give us a warning or tell us that we would be seeing the principal when we got to school (it was always the kids in the back of the bus causing problems but we all got on trouble for them). What you driver is expecting is not unreasonable. I agree that your. Son needs something to listen to while on the bus. I pod shuffle or nano are inexpensive. If you worry about your son losing it, you could have his teacher hold it for him when he gets to school and make sure he has it when he is ready to leave. If you have ever been on a city bus or a tour bus, there is a sign at the front that says 'do not talk or distract driver'. That applies to ALL drivers. Personally, I would be angry with my child for not obeying and thankful that the driver is taking cautionary measures but warning my child. I would be more worried about a driver that is talking and not paying attention to driving and keeping all the children safe.

An hour on the bus is unreasonable in my opinion but if it has to be it has to be. I don't understand why the driver doesn't just ignore him. Perhaps she's tried that and he still keeps talking? It is important for him to not talk to her and to stay in his seat. Sounds like she is being patient. She hasn't kicked him off the bus yet.

Could the driver seat him with an older student? This way he could talk to the older student who would be better able to ignore him. Also another student might be better equipped to teach him how to be quiet.

Sounds like it's a short bus with only 15 students. Why does he have to sit next to her? My grandson has been riding the bus since he was 5 and he always chooses to sit close to the back of a short bus.

I agree that you need to keep reinforcing for him that he is to be quiet and stay in his seat. It's an excellent idea to give him activities to do while on the ride.

At 5 he may be too young but an idea would be to give him a portable CD player and let him listen to stories.

Actually, could the district allow a cd player on the bus so that all the students could listen to a story and calm music. I've known some school bus drivers to play the radio loud enough for students to hear.