Uninvited Party Guests and People Not Rsvping

well look at it this way...You could have the opposite dilemma where no one could make it and it would be sad. So it actually sounds like a good situation to me :) I would rather them bring a friend or two than to say sorry, can't make it and have other plans. You put so much work into parties you would like people to actually show up! More kids to share and sing in the occasion. I agree, as much as you hate to, just go out and buy the extra goodies for the kids. In the end, you will be glad you did and appreciate them taking the time to come and celebrate.

True the cousins were not invited, but they are kids and its not their fault. I would say just buy extra items for favor bags for the ones who did not RVSP and for the cousins. The bags may be different,but I would not make a big deal out of it. You can make a quick announcement that some of the bags are not the same or choose not to say anything at all.

I entertain frequently and almost always, I will have extra guests, therefore I try to have a little bit more than I need. If I have to much left over, I send it home with the guests who may want it.

Parties are hard.... for this one you need to have extras. It doesn't have to be the same goodie bag, but these are little kids... you need to give them something... it could be 3 tootsie pops tied together with a ribbon, or a bottle of bubbles... doesn't matter what, but you need to have extras.

Food you need to have extras too.

Be forgiving. You may be in the same situation someday and these folks aren't doing it to be mean. We're all just busy and double-booked.

If you really want to keep to exact numbers in the future, keep it to how many you can fit in your car. Then have the party somewhere else (not your house) and tell the moms you will be picking up for the party. Otherwise, breath deep, forgive, and enjoy the day.

I don't think it's a big deal. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. Would you want your child to go to a party and be left out? I think you should make some more bags. You told them it was ok to come, so I personally think that they shouldn't be excluded. You can get other things for the bags at the dollar store.
As far as the food, I would make way more than what you think you'll need. Better to be safe than sorry. There will always be unexpected guests.

Let's face it...people don't RSVP anymore and it's rude, people have lost their manners. It is difficult enough to plan a party, but then trying to guess how many will show up makes it that more difficult.

It has taken me a while, but I finally got up enough nerve to say to a non-RSVP guest that shows up "Oh, I wasn't expecting you!"

But I still prepare enough food for everybody I invited, just in case a few people show up with out telling me they will be there.

As for the neighbor's cousins - since you said it was ok for them to come you should provide them with the same party favors you are providing other kids. Again, this is a matter of manners, only your manners this time. If you had told the neighbor "no" then you'd be fine not providing them with party favors if they showed up anyway, but you told them it was ok for them to come, so you need to treat them as an invited guest.

Don't hesitate to show your surprise about people that may show up that didn't respond to the RSVP. RSVPs are requested for a reason and they need to be provided. I'm a firm believer of manners!!!

Good luck on your party and Happy Birthday to your little girl.

I am so tired of rude people when it comes to parties. I would never have the nerve to ask if uninvited guests can come - including siblings. I mean, no one will say, "No they cannot come." So it kind of leaves the host in an awkward position of saying yes even when it would be an inconvenience to accomodate. They could always saythey cannot attend because they will have cousins in town. That gives you the opportunity to invite them or not. We once had a mom ask of her older kids could come. I didn't want to say yes because the party was at our house, which is not that big, and almost everyone we invited was coming, but what could I say? I didn't want to be rude and tell her they were not welcome.

I think you should put everyone's names on the favor bags. When it is time to leave, tell all the adults not to forget the party bags. I can't imagine this woman would take someone else's favor bag for the cousins.

As far as the food, buy a little extra just because some people will RSVP yes on the day of the party. It wouldn't hurt to have a little extra.

Don't stress. I am sure that it will be fun no matter who does or doesn't come. Have fun.

I HATE it when people don't RSVP. And I especially hate it when they bring extras. Ugh!!!

That being said, you should make sure you provide enough food and goodie bags to accomodate everyone. When I have a Christmas gift exchange at my house, I always wrap a couple extra generic gifts to give to an unexpected guest. When I'm hosting a birthday party or shower I make enough food and have enough favors to accomodate all guests that were invited, not just the ones I am expecting. I have found that even when people say they will attend sometimes they don't, and I've found that people who don't say anything at all will show up, and then there's always the ones who bring a friend or relative who was not expected. I would rather have left over food and favors then not enough. It sucks, but it's part of the hassle of hosting a party.

Good luck!

Hi LaQueta, anytime you have a party you have always got to plan for extras! That is with any party. I know it is expensive but, you decided to have this party & i think your child will love "the more the merrier". I would go ahead & get extras (even if it isn't the same as the other gift bags). The kids will see that they got a bag not what's in it at that age. Also i would make sure when the party is over the parents to the uninvited children know this. That way if you want to do something else (after they leave) they won't know it.Good luck & Happy Birthday to your child.

We went through this in June with our after school party (50 ppl) and in December for our daughter's 13th bday party (75ppl).

It is such a pain because people simply don't respond. Like another mom on here said.....when someone shows up who did not RSVP, I also casually mention "Oh I wasn't expecting you". That gets a point across without being too rude.

It is hard to plan and I always overdo it on food to make sure I have enough. For our parties, I was freaking out because I had a placed rented both times with DJ's and security guard.

Also, for our June party, I had about 6 people who RSVP'd YES and then did not show.

I don't think people have manners anymore. Etiquette is out the window. I always RSVP and send thank you notes. I have taught my daughter to do that as well. She is planning a small party on her own for halloween and she is stressing out because people don't RSVP.

Good luck with your party!

At least they were kind enough to ask if it was okay before just showing up with extra kids. Remember kids love parties, and they are just kids so in the spirit of kindness it shouldn't be a problem for a few extra to show up. Now if it was a significant number (say 5 or more) I would tell her that I only planned for a certain number of kids. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, you have next year to look forward to and at least you learned one valuable lesson...always plan for a few extra! Don't stress!

I just went thru this less than a month ago. Make additional goodie bags and you will see that you will probably have a ton left over. People RSVP and then dont show up. It will all work its self out. I had enough food for everyone plus 10. I even went as far as to call people the week of.
I tried to make it easy by putting my phone number (with texting) and an email address for RSVP's and people are still rude and dont respond.

Good Luck!

I have 3 kids and have had many birthday parties over the years. Sounds like you will be having a few in the future too. My advise is to always plan to have extra. Whether it's food or party favors. There is always going to be someone that does not RSVP, and there are going to be circumstances where you may end up with more kids than planned. It is not these 3 kids fault that you don't have extra party favors. And I for one would not want to see the hurt look in their face when you tell them there is nothing for them. I would plan on having a party favor for every child you invite, whether they RSVP'd or not, plus a few extra. The extra party favors can always be put to good use. Put them in stockings for needy families if you find that you have left overs. Parties are only as stressful as you make them.

Ugh, I hate that. I also get fed up with people not RSVP'ing for a party. I just wouldn't get any favors for them.

i haven't read any of the other responses, so i'm sorry if you've "heard" this before...here are my thoughts...
People don't RSVP...of course it's nice when they do, but in reality it doesn't happen so you must always "guesstimate" when having a party and ALWAYS buy more party favors, food, and drinks than you may need!! Don't be cheap...always be prepared!

You know, not RSVPing has certainly become the "norm" lately. Personally, I would never "show up" at a party if I hadn't already RSVP'd. But, I am a single fulltime working mom and I occasionally forget to RSVP enough in advance. I've been known to call the mom a day or two before the party to apologize and see if it's too late to respond. The moms have always been very nice about it. There were about 4 girls who "showed up" at my 10 year old daughter's party who never RSVP'd. Although it is not good social etiquette to "show up" unexpectedly, it is necessary to plan for "overage" when entertaining. I always prepare more food than I'll need because it's better to have too much than not enough and you can always store leftovers in the fridge or send them home with someone. I also buy more party favors than I think I'll need and simply donate the unused favors to our annual school fall carnival. On the other hand, if the cousins are not friends of your child and if they won't be each bringing a gift, I wouldn't worry too much about them not getting favors...as long as they get cake it should be understood. If you have a phone number for people you haven't heard from it is advisable to contact them to be sure they received the invitation and find out if they're planning to attend.

I had a similiar problem with my son's 3rd birthday. We had invited several people that we personally knew and children that we knew. I had also invited my half sister. Well she has 2 younger brothers that are in no relation to me. I didn't have enough room and food, ect. Also, the children really misbehave and even use profanity. I was very polite and I told her that it would not be a good idea to bring them and that maybe another time for them to come over would be better when there wasn't so much going on. She was upset with me and didn't even show up to the party at all. But, I will tell you...I didn't bat an eye. The party was hectic and I couldn't have imagined what would have happened if I had the 2 extra children there.

As far as the RSVP situation, maybe just call and give the people that you invited a friendly reminder about the party and see if they are coming about a week-3/4 days ahead of time. If you get a few maybes than you can plan to buy a little extra that way you know you won't run out.

Good Luck!

Personally, I always RSVP but usually have an extra sibling that wasn’t invited (so do many others). It is hard to bring just the invited kid when there are brothers or sisters that know the birthday boy/girl.

I always plan on at least 4 extras just for the siblings... I give the extra goodie bags to my kids and they love it.

Sorry, I know birthdays are $$$ next time just do cupcakes at school, it is a good alternative and they have just as much fun!

E.

i'd explain that the party favors are JUST for the little 3 year olds and not for the cousins.

I think it is perfectly fine to call the people who have not rsvp'd to see if they will be attending. Also, just get a little thing at the dollar store for the extra kids. It will be understood that they have a different goody since they were "extra" invites. Maybe you already have some candy or stickers that you can throw in a little bag for them.

At age 3, the party is for the kids. The extra children won't know that they "weren't invited" or were "add-ons". But they will know if they are getting goodies or not. I think it is important for each child to have a goodie bag. (While there is an expense in this, I always make/have a few extra "goodies" on hand for those who didn't RSVP in case they do show up.) As for food, serve the kiddos first, serve smaller portions so everyone gets some. I wouldn't want to see any child left out because of a faux pas of the parents/adults.