Unhappy New Baby Help

K.,

A screaming baby screams to me "food intolerances." Check out http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/food-sensitivity.html

My now 10 month old breastfed baby is allergic to dairy protein and soy protein. Until I cut ALL dairy and soy (both the obvious stuff and the stuff hidden in from my diet, he was miserable. It started when he was about 3 weeks old and it continued until he was about 6 weeks old (it took about a week after I eliminated all of the bad stuff from my diet and then over night he was a totally different, happy baby). She could ask for a referral to a Pediatric GI doctor. In my experience, a regular pediatrician knows very little about food intolerances and even less about food intolerances in a breastfed baby. A pediatric GI doctor can be moderately helpful, especially if the baby also has reflux, but you can find out quite a bit just from the internet. A regular pediatrician will just say "colic" and tell you to wait it out but I think that is a totally unacceptable answer. My son has silent reflux - which is reflux minus all the spitting up. The food intolerances made his reflux worse. Treating the reflux didn't cure the problem with the food intolerances but dealing with the food intolerances did help the reflux - but didn't cure it.

When I started the elimination diet, I started with: dairy, soy, eggs, chocolate, caffeine, fish, shellfish, nuts, citrus and tomatoes. From the research I did on the internet, those seemed to be the most common culprits. I gave it a good month of being totally free of all those things and then started adding them back one at a time (I just barely added eggs back about a week ago). If my son wouldn't have improved dramatically, the next things I would have eliminated would have been wheat, corn, and artificial colors/flavors/preservatives. Some people will try eliminating one food at a time but if you've got multiple intolerances going, it is almost impossible to pinpoint what the problem is that way. For obvious reasons, if your babe is intolerant to dairy or soy or corn, supplementing with formula will make it worse. Most of them are based on dairy or soy and all of them have corn syrup in them. More than half of babies who are intolerant to dairy protein are also intolerant to soy. The proteins are really similar.

If your friend wants more info, have her email me. I'm an old pro at this now. ____@____.com. Getting started is intimidated. It is one thing to figure out what you can't eat and then something else entirely to figure out what you can eat!

I know it sounds like a pain in the butt and it is but it is so worth it to have a healthy, happy baby.

Oh, and don't use those Hyland's Colic tablets. They have a milk sugar base so if it is a dairy intolerance, they will cause problems.

:-)T.

4 moms found this helpful

HI I had a similiar experience with my son. We went through this for a year and a half. Even after seeing 5 different pediatricians no one caught his "reflux" symptoms. He didn't have any of the classic ones. He was finally diagnosed with an Ulcer and allergies after an endoscopy with a GI specialist. Lots of babies have reflux and they can be treated with zantac which is mild. And they usually grow out of it. Without early treatment it is much more damaging, requiring other meds, Nexium, prevacid which have only been approved for chldren in the last few years. At 3 my son is finally off the meds and we are hoping not to go back.
Good Luck to her
(symptoms- Look for arching of the back after eating or when crying, spitting up, a lesser known one is bad breath. DR usually recommend sleeping with t a slight elevation.) She should also watch her diet for a corrolation of behavior. My son was allergic to cow dairy protein. Therefore my milk was making the situation worse.

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Hi, I am Dr. Demaray. I am a chiropractor who specializes in infant care. Please have your friend contact me as I have worked very successfully with babies who have had the same condition. Being in the womb and then going through the birth process, whether vaginal or C-section, can cause trauma to the babies head, neck and spine. When this occurs there can be sucking difficulties and colic and many other issues that I can address.
My office number is ###-###-####, and I am in Vacaville.
Sincerely, Dr. Demaray

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K.,
In the past with our two daughters when they did that it was because they had gas. We used Mylicon drops to help with that along with trying to find out what foods the babies were sensitive to. Our oldest daughter had acid reflux problems and she had to take a couple of medications to help alleviate the pain. Laying the baby down flat hurts when they are gassy. You can try having the baby sleep in their carseat to see if that helps. We also find that swaddling and a second blanket helps our youngest daughter to sleep better. The heat helps soothe their tummies.

Also, always trust yourself. If you feel something is wrong then get second opinions from other doctors. I hope this helps.

R. J

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That's exactly what I went through. Tell your friend to hang in there -- she's right in the middle of the worst of it. It really does get better after three to four months. I know, having been there, those words are absolutely no help whatsoever. There are a couple of things to try; your posting doesn't mention anything that's already been tried, so forgive me if I'm covering things you and your friend already know/have tried.

Try carrying the baby around in a sling. My son just wanted to be close at all times. I don't know that the sling would've worked for me, but I've talked to others who've said it helped. I used a Baby Bjorn, and it didn't help at all when he was really small, so try an actual sling.

If the baby seems to be having gas problems, try smithecone (sp?) drops. When I started giving my son these drops, he went from only sleeping 20 minutes at a time to sleeping in two hour stretches.

For the mother, try taking dairy out of her diet. See if it's a lactose thing.

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Hi,

I have some suggestions to try for the new baby. ( I am a mom and also a nanny who has cared for newborns,infants,and toddlers for years.)

1.dress baby in onsie/diaper only depending on heat, then swaddle in blanket tightly. Swing baby side to side in rythmic motion. Make a shushing sound for baby and then if baby will take it, try putting a pacifier in baby's mouth while doing all of these things. ( if this works- get the book the best baby on the block-harvey karp)This is a trick that signals the baby's calming reflex--every baby has one.

2. if it seems like baby is scrunching up her legs, tightening belly etc, she may have gas--keep her in upright position and try burping more often while feeding her. (mylicon drops work too)

3. Some babies like slings, try one-

4. if baby doesn't like sling-- try front pack snugglie- babies like to hear your heartbeat and can be calmed by you that way.

5. If mom is very tired and needs to have a break, maybe get a swing- there are tons to choose from and a lot of babies like them. It may take a few minutes, but if she sticks with it- most times the baby can be calmed in the swing.

I hope this helps your friend.

Take care,

M.

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My son is also 4 weeks old - he is my 5th - - - first things first mama needs to relax - when she gets stressed so does baby.... I know that's hard....

Sounds to me like that baby is getting TOO much wind. Keep the baby covered whenever she goes outside - or if there is a draft - don't walk too fast - - - when the baby swallows too much air it gives them painful airbubbles - they need to burp... That is the only reason a baby would pull away in the middle of nursing screaming - a small draft is like a full gust wind to them... tell mama to be patient and don't give up on the burping - even after 5 I am not good at it - my mother is an expert can burp a baby in two minutes...

Have her trying holding the baby upright and patting the back - lying the baby across her legs tummy side down and patting the back and sitting the baby up the best she can supporting the baby tummy with one hand and the back with the other - many times my baby burps when I am switching between the three positions...

Good Luck - and let her know it's just a temporary phase - - - before you know it they are all grown up - (my oldest is a senior in HS)

2 moms found this helpful

Sounds like my first baby! My first born was really colicky and there is no medication that can help, but there are a few other things she could try such as mylicon gas drops every time baby nurses. I would also bathe my son with a lavender/camomile baby soap each night to help calm him down. As far as sleeping goes, I had to let my baby sleep in his car seat for the first few months! It was the only way he would sleep without somebody holding him. We would swaddle him in a blanket, then put him in his car seat, and put the car seat in his crib. It worked for us! Tell her that it will pass and to hang in there!

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I would try Gripe Water and cut out all dairy even food with casein. Then I would have her find a lactation consultant or group. Even though it sounds like she is doing well with breastfeeding I really think it is probably something like a dairy allergy and a consultant can give some really good advice. My boy did much better when I cut out dairy and then at 3 months everything got MUCH better even with that.

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Dear K.,

First, I think that something must be wrong, maybe just as simple as gas. My gr grand daughter was crying recently. I was holding her for comfort and turned her different ways to show her something to interest her. She suddenly burped really loudly, maybe try different positions for the crying baby.

I do recommend holding and walking - I know, that is old fashioned, but it does supply comfort to the baby, and that is what we are for. It won't last forever, but it is a problem or the baby would not awake or stop nursing. By the way, it is not spoiling, it is care giving.

Also, going to see another doctor may be expensive, but important. Ask around for a good pediatrician from friends recommendations concentrating on asking if he or she listens and explains well. Then when the mother calls for an appointment say that the baby needs another examination for a second opinion.

Try Dr. Greene's website - www.drgreene.com, and Vincent Iannelli, MD- About.com Pediatrics Guide -
that seems an odd web address, but you can probably get it by just typing in the Vincent Iannelli, M.D.

I read a baby book one time that emphasized comforting and reassuring the baby. Please remember, babies are very smart. ...and so are parents and friends. I am glad that you are helping her - that is what we are here for too.

Sincerely, C. N.

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Has she tried baby Mycelon gas drops? They worked really good for my son when he had gas. Also some soft music in the background might help the baby stay asleep when she lays down, even the sound of a fan in the background can help. The Baby Einstien goodnight music is great, and it always put my little guy to sleep. Also the pacifier can help if the baby loves to suck!

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K.,
I gather that your mom is babysitting. The baby is missing it's mother or whoever has been with her since birth. Get a couple of receiving blankets and have the mother sleep laying on these blankets to get her smell on each one. While you are feeding the baby, put one of the blankets next to your chest so that it would appear that you are that person. Also lay the baby on the other blanket while sleeping. you can also prop a pillow on both sides of the baby so that it feel as though it is still being held. Find an old wind-up clock so that it can hear the tick tock and think that it is a heart beat. Little babies are like little animals; they deal more with smell and sound oppose to sight.

If you will have this baby indefinitely, you will have to gradually get her use to your mom's touch, smell, voice etc. etc. Once she gets use to her, things will start to get better. If she babysits long enough, the baby will also start to get use to her. One more thought, find out from the mother what her ritual is with the baby. I know that my mother use to let me sleep on her chest while she was laying down. My poor aunt caught hell when she didn't know that when I stayed over and cried forever.

Hope some of these ideas work for you and your mom. If you can, let me know how things work out.

R. T

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Has your friend seen a lactation specialist? The pulling off and screaming while nursing could be a hard, fast let down that scares the baby a bit. And as far as crying when she is put down, I would just recommend holding her. My daughter was like that when she was a new born. She wanted to always be held and close to me, which is not a bad thing at that age. They need that physical bonding. Yeah, it was a bit overwhelming for a first time mom, but now that my daughter is a year and a half I really miss when she would just let me hold her. She's way independent now. I hope that helps.

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Maybe the baby is lactos intolerant? I'm not real sure about the signs, but maybe that could be a good place to start as the feedings go. As far as crying the minute she is laid down, it sounds like the baby just needs to be laid down before she falls asleep? I don't know I just thought I would offer my oppinion. Hope for the best for your friend and good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

The pulling off and screaming sounds exactly like what my son would do until he was diagnosed with GERD (reflux disease). Very easy to treat and INSTANTLY a happier baby if that is the problem.
The doctors didn't see anything wrong with my son either but when the nurse called the next day to follow up and heard him SCREAMING they demanded that we bring him back in. Once we figured out that was the problem we started him on Zantac (yes, just like you might take if you had heartburn) and Reaglan it was a night and day change.

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My daughter was a lot like this, only not so bad. The way I could put her down while I took a shower or anything was to put her in a swing. She loved the motion and it helped everytime. She also really liked to be swaddled tightly in a blanket for the first couple of months. She would cry if she wasn't wrapped up tight. Just some thoughts to try.

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I went through this exact same thing with my second Daughter, I went out and bought some soy formula and a bottle after 6 weeks of non stop crying.After giving her a bottle of formula she went to sleep and slept in her crib! for 3 hours! I was so astounded! It turned out she was lactose intolerant that the breast milk was upsetting her. Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

Happiest Baby on the Block DVD really helped us too. The five "S" are key...swaddling tightly with two big thin blankets. Have a guy pull tightly on the first blanket. and the second blanket wrap around the first one. It is called a burrito style. Our son just loved it.

And the shhh'ing and swinging helps if the first one doesn't.

Tummies medicine worked wonders for us.

I feel for your friend.

I've heard gripe water works too, I haven't tried it.

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GRIPE WATER. Seriously, it was a LIFESAVER for me. My daughter was unconsoleable until I found this miracle. I order online now from coliccalm.com, but you can find it near the baby tylenol in just about any pharmacy. I got results with the first dose, but some babies may need upto a day to really see a dramatic difference.

Something else that still makes a big difference is swaddling. my baby is 4 months and I still need to wrap her up before bed every night. There are special blankets, but receiving blankets work just as well.

Also, you mentioned that baby is nursing; has mom tried changing her diet? I had to give up chocolate, dairy, simple sugers, etc. when I breastfed b/c EVERYTHING seemed to give my baby girl gas.

good luck to her! you're a wonderful friend for trying to help!

Smiles

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From what I just read it sounds like the baby has colic. The only thing you can do is just wait it out. Does your friend burp her baby right? Cause when my son was that young I wasn't burping him right so he was very gassy and I had to make sure that I was burping him right after I nursed him. Now the whole screaming when the baby is put down, well they get use to being in the womb and that will go away in time. I know it must be hard for your friend but I do hope that this works for her. Oh one more thing, your friend can get a stuffed animal and lay it across her stomach when she lays them down. Now I know what most doctor's say about that but it worked wonders with my son and my sister when she was younger. Just make sure that you move after you know the baby is asleep.

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She could have an ear infection. Pediatricians don't always catch them. She might want to get a second opinion. She also might have gas (I know this sounds really cliche). Little Tummies works wonders. Also, a warm (hot) water bottle might help with her getting put down.

1 mom found this helpful

My doughter cried 24/7 until she was 4months. then the doctor said she has colic. and gave me special formula. But until then I ran the vacume cleaner. If that works for her tell her to go buy the tape. So she don't run her vacum into the ground. also in the kitchen sink fill it with luke warm water. then put the baby into it until it covers the belly button. hold the baby like this and see if any gas comes out. It should start to come out if the baby is gassy about a couple of minutes. hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

Try bathing and rubbing some kind of soothing lotion and then massage away.Maybe baby has colic so try colic tabs. Hope this helps

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Hi there,
"Happiest Baby on the Block" it is a book but is on DVD now. It is the best. I work with babies from preterm to full term and beyond. When done right, the "5 S's" work everytime. I can calm a baby in 30 seconds. Get it and watch it....it works!

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Sounds like the baby may have colic. Not too much you can do for colic except wait until approx. 3months old and it usually just stops. Tell your friend to enlist the help of friends, family, babysitter etc. and get out of the house everyday on her own to keep her sanity.

There is a great book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child that might help her to understand her situation.

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My baby was like that at 4 weeks too, she was only happy eating and she wanted to eat every 1 1/2 or 2 hours! until I changed her formula, she's the happiest baby now! she eats every 3-4 hours and she doesn't cry all the time anymore... Tell your friend to ask her doctor if maybe is the formula or to try enfamil gentlease or soy formula.

1 mom found this helpful

My mother in law swears by this stuff called gripe water. Indian (middle east)markets carry it.

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Hi Kim,

That must be so frustrating for your friend! Being a new mom is hard enough without the baby screaming all the time, I can't imagine. My son was pretty calm, but when he did scream and wouldn't stop it just made us upset too. My only suggestion is the Book or DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block." Some people love it, others hate it, but it was a Godsend for us. I recommend the DVD as you can actually see the techniques. You can get it at most local bookstores, and I think it might actually be available from Netflix. I know we ordered it from Amazon.com. Hope that helps!

Good Luck!
C.

1 mom found this helpful

Happiest Baby on the Block

In the bay area, some of the lactation consultants are also certified in Happiest Baby methods. I recommend the DVD as it was easier for my husband to understand the techniques shown than read them in the book. One of our twin daughters, now 3 mos old, cried a lot from combination of wanting to be held or gas. She was in the NICU for 9 days & as a twin also, I think she really likes being close, swaddled, etc. We found the swaddling & jiggling technique to be best. She also was very uncomfortable laying on her back. We tried putting her to sleep in her swing & that really helped. The good news is that they will change disposition as they grow. She is a great baby now!

1 mom found this helpful

Have the Mom get the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I know many, many Moms who have used the techniques in this book and have been very successful. Some of the non-stop cryers are now happy, quiet babies.

E.

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Some baby's just need motion, lots of motion, maybe she should look into a motion swing or vibrating baby bouncer. Good Luck!!

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Sounds like colic. I would research that and tell her what to do from there, if the Dr has said all is well. Frusterating! Poor gal!

1 mom found this helpful

Could be many things
Possibly, Reflux, or a food sensitivity in the mother's diet, lactose intolerant, gas.
Try consulting with a lactation specialist. I am new to the area so I cant suggest one , but the hospital that the baby was delivered in should be able to connect you to one.

1 mom found this helpful

GERD!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter did the same thing. I just sobbed with her for weeks until I finally begged the doctor to try something. She pulled off suddenly and screamed and arched her back every time she tried to eat and would startle herself awake constantly and then just could not calm herself down. He put my daughter on Zantac Eferdose (sp?). He said it's easy enough because you'll know within a few hours. It works or it doesn't right away. Oh My Goodness. I had a different child the next day. She even outgrew it by her first birthday. Good luck!!! Please feel free to e-mail me if you would like for information.

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Find a good solid chiropractor who advocates excercises and little manipulation. chiropractic care will solve the issue.

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have you tried the swing,maybe putting a music player in her bed that sings soft lullabies or record her mom talking or singing softly have you tried swaddling her and putting her in one of those hammock type things that you put in the crib to make it a smaller space so the baby feels secure.If none of this works I would buy one of those slings or frontpacks so you can wear her and still get things done having arms free.good luck....T.

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K.,

Your friend needs a different doctor, many things could be wrong or not but any doctor that dismisses a new mom like that is not someone to trust!

1 mom found this helpful

If you are nursing you may want to consider changing your diet. I had to stop eating dairy, spicy food, broccoli, beans, peanuts and slowly reintroduce them into my diet. And a friend had to go on a special diet of poultry and rice. One of my babies cried so much right after he ate that my doctor said that it was his digestive system and his bowel movement that were probably causing the pain. I never did give my eldest one drops but I did give my second one drops. but changing my diet and being aware of it helped. If the baby is on formula try a soy base formula. My youngest son did better with soy and had less spit up. She could also not be burping the baby correctly. I found it very tricky and used my rocking chair to help with the momentum.

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Hi K.,

There could be the problem that the little baby may be feeling stressed from the parents, or the fact that she just wants the satisfaction of being cuddled close to someone. My daughter had gone thru that for a while when she was born, turns out she was feeling the stress from both her father and i since we were new parents and newleyweds.... yeah we had gotten married just before the baby was born, so the stress of adjusting to our newley married life, and the fact of a little baby girl, put a ton of stress on us both. so when we got stresses sot did she. babies can feel tension in or bodies and usually they become uncomfortable themselves. the doctors have checked her for colic right? that would also have something to do with it as well. Either way i wish your friend luck with the new baby. in the end it will get better.

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I feel for your friend. Try a pacifier, also try swaddling the baby really tight. My daughter had colic for 9 months of her life. I lived by these things. Also make sure the baby is not too hot. Or even too cold. Let me know if that works :)

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The nursing and pulling off sounds very similar to what happened with my second baby -- a la leche league online leader figured it out for us -- she was getting too much milk at once, and too much of one kind of milk (this as 10 years ago so is a little fuzzy whether it was too much fore or hind milk (the creamiest part) so the suggestion was to nurse her only on one breast at a time, instead of switching during one nursing. Also expressing some extra milk helped. This was new for me, as it seemed like I hardly had enough milk for my 1st -- the second was another story altogether. It worked like a charm, though .... and we were much happier. She also wanted to be carried all the time. I used a sling, sometimes was able to put her down for a nap after she fell asleep in the sling, but more often just let her stay cuddled up and tried to nap myself. This second beautiful child caused me to give up my law practice -- she would never take a bottle of breast milk from anyone but me, so I had to take her and our parttime nanny everywhere with me when working. She is a very sweet, emotionally highly intelligent and overall wonderful 10 year old now!

I agree with all that I read - my little girl (now 8 years) was kind of like this, but we had other issues too (she wouldn't nurse & the drs & lactation consultants said not to supplement even though she was losing weight! Right... we supplemented!) The mylicon (sp?) drops worked sometimes, but also laying her on her tummy with me right next to her. I think there was both gas & a bit of "I need mommy darn it!" going on! And remember, you can't really spoil a baby - granted she will need to be put down sometimes, but hey - cuddle away!!! I also found that at 6 weeks it was like a curtain opened and the sun came in... the crying stopped and everything was much smoother, almost magically! The biggest thing I recommend is going with your instincts (mom's instincts since a friend) - if mom thinks there is something really wrong - push it! Don't let the doctors say it's nothing. If mom is putting baby down becasue she thinks she should not because she wants to or because she thinks it's best - pick baby back up! But it really does sound like 2 things going on - gas... and baby just likes to be around mommy! The gas there are cures for. The rest mommy has to go with her instincts on and do what is best for her and her baby. No one can tell her that but her (and baby!) ;-] Best of luck! I'll throw a prayer in for them tonight!!!

Has she tried eliminating dairy from her diet? She needs to stop cold turkey for a few weeks(no milk, cheese, yogurt, butter, etc). If it helps, she'll know for sure. New research finds more than half of all colic cases to be caused by dairy, and yes it passes through mother's milk. I met a lot of mothers going through this a my nursing group. I here it can be hard, so wish her luck.

Tell mom to watch her diet,no beans or gas causing foods.Also let others step in a hold the baby if possible the baby will out grow most colic