Unexpected Pregnancy - Houston,TX

Updated on December 27, 2012
M.L. asks from Houston, TX
56 answers

i'v been wth my boyfriend for only 2 months.. wr expecting and he's
telling me that we have to have an abortion..what should i do

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K.M.

answers from Odessa on

You have to do what's right for you. He sounds like he is either scared or insensitive. You may also want to consider adoption, its a hard but wonderful opportunity to bless a family who maybe can't have a child of their own. Take some time to think about what is best for you in the long run, when you get older, what will you be able to look back on and be ok with.
Best of luck to you whatever decision you make.

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R.W.

answers from San Antonio on

If he doesn't love you enough to support you and the baby, I would bring up my child by myself.

If the both of you are not ready for this huge commitment, adoption is the way to go.

Good Luck.

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N.T.

answers from El Paso on

Dear M.,
Do you want the baby? Wasn't there any protection used? 2 months is too soon for you or anybody to have a baby when you and him don't even know each other well. Good luck

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N.D.

answers from Houston on

Thank you for trusting us with this news. I'm praying for you and I agree there is much help out there. You don't have to do this alone. Many have walked in your shoes and can empathize and give you support. There is no easy choice. No matter how far along you are, you now have a growing baby inside you. When you are just 4 days late for your period that baby's heart is beating. I pray you will get all the information you need to make a decision you can live with the rest of your life. Babies are a gift to the world, even when we don't plan them, and I would think the majority aren't planned! God bless you and let us know how we can support you whatever you decide.

4 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Beaumont on

M.,
So many people are already praying for you. My heart is with you. Abortion seems like an easy out, but it is something you will never forget. I have friends that had abortions when we were in H.S. or college 30years ago and they are still dealing with the decision.
I am adopted and had the most wonderful life with my adoptive parents. My mother briefly moved somewhere else and hid the pregnancy and I know it was h*** o* her but I am so glad that she put me up for adoption.
Consider the long run and make the best decision for everyone involved.
Much love your way.

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

M., I am sorry to hear that you are in this situation, it is really scary- I have been there. This is YOUR life and YOUR body. YOU decide what is the right thing to do.
When I had an unexpected pregnancy, I was so concerned with what my co-workers, friends, boyfriend's friends, etc would think of me...a dear friend told me, "None of those people have to live your life, and none of them will think of you everyday, no matter what your choice."
I don't know what your family relationships are like, or what your financial situation is, but this is your decision. A child is an amazing thing, and also very difficult. Other people's goals and beliefs are not your focus in this situation. I wish you peace with your decision.
M.

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N.P.

answers from Houston on

I have a three year old son who was completely unexpected. I was in a "relationship" for a few weeks when I got pregnant. It was rough for a while. Very rough. He wanted me to have an abortion. I told him he didn't have to have anything to do with the baby, and I would never sue him for child support. He flipped out a couple times, was emotionally unstable, came to my apt in the middle of the night because he "needed a hug." I ended up moving back home for a couple years. It was a scary, difficult time. BUT Let Me Tell You Something!

My Henry is the ABSOLUTE joy of my life. Brilliant little comedian, self proclaimed rock star/pirate. Not a day goes by that I wouldn't just fall on my face and thank God for him. The instant I first heard his froggy little cry, I knew I would sacrifice anything for him. New worlds opened up before my very eyes. I swear I saw colors I had never seen before. There is nothing anyone can say to prepare you for the love you'll feel for your child.

It took me a long time but now I know for sure, God opens the womb. His ways are so much higher and more intricate and perfect than ours. If you are pregnant, there is a reason for it... There are probably millions of reasons, most of which you'll never be aware of.

I would encourage you to pray about it. Take your time. Keep your eyes and ears open. God hears you and is RIGHT there with you. You'll know what to do when you find you have God's perfect peace about the situation.

I trust you'll make the right decision for you and your baby. Whatever decision it is though, IT IS YOURS and yours ALONE.

As for me, I'm now happily-ever-after married to a man who is not my son's father biologically, but might as well be because they are perfect together. Henry's biological dad has stepped up and is very active and loving in his life. My son has an enormous circle of people who love him and would do anything for him. We have all been immeasurably blessed to have Henry in our lives. Almost 2 weeks ago, my husband and I miscarried our twin baby girls. I was 19 weeks pregnant when we found they had both died. God got us through the worst weekend of our lives and watching my son the last week and a half has given me a renewed faith in God's perfect plan for our lives. I hope you know God's peace in this situation. I don't think I ever understood it until he carried us through this. I don't mean to be all preachy on you~ It's never been my style. I just know how difficult a situation you're in and I hope that somehow I can help.

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D.J.

answers from Austin on

What should you do?

Whatever you feel is right for you!

It sounds like the boyfriend is not going to be around if you decide to continue the pregnancy, but that should not be a factor in your decision. . . if he would leave for this, then he would leave for any other "trouble" and you should be glad he is out now. . .

As for your options, there are lots. YOu need to talk to your family (if they are around) and seriously look at yourself and your desires/dreams and if you can, talk to a church member or similar organization. If you don't feel that you can care for a child (or even if you just don't want to), there are other options besides abortion. There are THOUSANDS of people who would LOVE to be in your "situation". Talk to someone, there are lots of people/organization out there who do nothing but work with people to put babies with families.

Bottom-line is you are the one who has to "live-with" whatever decision you make so you are the one who has to make it. . . don't let the boyfriend (or even someone like me) make it for you.

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

M.,
I agree with so many of the others here that you should chose life for your baby. Even taking that step, you don't need to decide between parenting or adoption until the baby comes. There is no rush.
I disagree with many of the assumptions in advice below too. I don't think there is any clear evidence that you OR your boyfriend are "far too immature to be parents". You are both human and not perfect and at a crossroads. Your boyfriend is a little freaked out and caught off guard because he never thought this would be something that would happen to you guys. (You always think these things happen to others not you.)This baby isn't "real" to him yet. The reality hasn't hit him. He doesn't realize what he is suggesting or the long term consequences if you follow his suggestion and he doesn't realize that he is already a daddy to a tiny little baby growing inside of you. If you protect the baby now it will become more real to him as you start showing and when he sees the ultrasound, when he feels the baby move and when he holds the baby for the first time. Those things can bring about a major transformation in his attitude and life(and yours.)
What is wrong with deciding to continue the pregnancy and trust God to help you (and your boyfriend) figure out the rest in time as well as to prepare your boyfriend's heart for the reality of fatherhood if you decide you want to parent rather than place your baby with a family. You could tell your boyfriend you are going to chose life for your baby, you would like to continue dating and getting to know each other for now and see how things progress. (no need to make drastic decisions like ending the life of the baby, breaking up, or committing to marriage or committing to placing your baby for adoption. Just take things one step at a time and pray for guidance. Maybe the two of you can go to counseling together at a pregnancy help center or a church.
Many adoptions are open adoptions these days. The birth parent can chose from many families that are open to the same level of contact the birth parent wants. Some don't want any contact, some only letters, some have regular visits with the family and child. I know of one family that takes the birth mother on a family vacation to a beach house with them every year and sends letters and pictures regularly in between. I also have a friend who placed her son for adoption when she was in high school and is now married with a small child. The two families exchange letters and pictures and my friend has email contact with the adopted parents and her birth son who is now 13. The two families see each other every couple of years and celebrated Christmas together last year.
I also have another friend who chose abortion after her boyfriend threatened to break up with her. Their guilt over it ended the relationship anyway. Later when he had a baby with another woman, the reality of what he had done to his first baby was too much to bare and he committed suicide. The friend who aborted has never gotten over the guilt suffers from periodic severe depression about it (every time the abortion date rolls around or the due date...)She is devastated and still suffering 17 years later. She never got married or had children because she doesn't feel she deserves happiness.
My step sister was forced into an abortion by my step mother when she was 14. She purposely got pregnant again her senior year because she was trying to fill the void she felt from losing her first baby. She hid the pregnancy for a long time so her mom wouldn't force her to have another abortion. My step mother thought it was the end of the world...now 14 years later none of us can imagine life without that little girl. The dad did not stick around but our family has been a great support. With need based grants and scholarships she has enjoyed a nice private school education and a decent life. My step sister went to college on grant money and is now a teacher. She is married now to a great guy. Things worked out. Not the "picture perfect way" and it wasn't easy but she is happy, healthy, smart, well adjusted and so is my step sister.
Based on all of these stories I know of personally I would say that abortion is the only decision you are highly likely to regret and all of the other decisions you are highly likely to be happy with.

Dear Lord, I pray that you give M. the Grace, strength, wisdom and courage to chose to protect the life of her baby during this very scary time in her life. I pray that You soften and prepare the heart of her boyfriend to be accepting and supportive of one of the life paths for this gift from You. This I pray in the name of The Father, and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit, Amen.

Blessings,
K.

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P.F.

answers from Odessa on

Please consider adoption! Alot of people hear that wor and say " But I could never just give away my baby.." Then they stop and think about abortion as the other option..If you "give up" your child for adoption, you are "giving" your child a life.
My very best friend had an abortion at her boyfriends request. She has had an empty hole in her life, not to mention that the boyfriend broke up with her anyway. Look at it this way..do you really think that you and your boyfriend have a chance at long term? If so, that is wonderful and I believe a definite chance to raise a family together. But I have to say that there are a lot of selfish and ignorant men in the world. They do not understand the connection between mother and child.
I know I'm rambling I'm sorry...just remember if you keep your baby and he breaks up with you..you will still have the love of your life (your baby) trust me, and they never leave you, just love you unconditionally forever. But if YOU don't feel prepared to have a child please think about the thousands of couples who pray so desperately for a child to love. You could be their God send...I'll be praying for you and your baby.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I don't know your age, education or anything about your life, but I think you should really research and pray about adoption. A boyfriend who flat out wants abortion without considering anything else is not good father material. If you had this baby and kept it, it sounds like you would not get any support or any help from the father. He doesn't want the baby now---he's not going to change when the baby is born.
I would encourage you to finish your education and plan a career for yourself. Have children with a loving man when the time in your life is right.

There are so many couples in that stage of life now that cannot have kids. You are not at that stage now...but will be someday, and you will know that this baby has a good home with loving parents if you go the adoption route.

Do not go to planned parenthood -- they will try to talk you into an abortion. Go to a family doctor, OB/ GYN, church who can provide you with information.

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M.F.

answers from Austin on

M.,

I think I have a rather unique perspective on this one. I've walked in your shoes.

At 20, my boyfriend and I had only been dating for two months, and I found myself in the same situation. At the time we were in school, and knew that there was no way that we would be able to support a child. From an emotional standpoint, I knew that there was no way I'd be able to carry a baby to full-term, only to give it away, so I felt abortion was my only choice. Though my boyfriend happened to agree with me and we made the decision together, I never felt pressure from him. I don't regret my choice, but STRONGLY regret the fact that I had to MAKE the choice.

I have very mixed emotions about my decision. It's a very difficult choice to live with. The guilt/sadness was sometimes overwhelming, and though the thoughts still cross my mind, it's not something that I can dwell on. Every now and then I stop and think, "WOW!! Had I not done that, I would have a high-school senior right now." That being said, I also know that had I had a baby at that time in my life, the relationship I had with my boyfriend would never have grown and flourished, and we knew that our relationship had great potential. He and I have now been married for over 16 years, have two beautiful kids, and he is an AMAZING husband and father.

Supporting a baby is EXPENSIVE, and I totally understand if keeping it is not an option. If carrying full-term and adoption is something -you- can do, I would highly recommend it. I know so many couples that have adopted, and others that have been desperate to be parents. I can't speak from personal experience, but I have a feeling that giving your baby up for adoption is not a decision that you would EVER live to regret. Most importantly, you need to make the decision that's right for YOU.

Best wishes and luck,
M.

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S.C.

answers from Odessa on

Don't let him pressure you into doing something that you don't want to do. If you want to keep the baby, please do.

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N.S.

answers from Houston on

You need to ask yourself what is right for you. However, some things to consider:
- You and your BF are still getting to know each other. A baby does not make that happen.
- Is your BF financially or emotionally ready to have a baby?
- Are you financially and emotionally ready to have a baby?
- Do you go to school or do you work?
- If you are in school your teenage years are over and you are a mom - like it or not.
- If you work, you will need to think about daycare, what you do with the baby when it's sick, how much work can you miss, etc.

Because you guys have only been in a relationship for 2 months and are having sex without protection, speaks volumns with regards to your maturity level and thought process - in which both are severly lacking. It doesn't sound like either of you are ready for the life long responsibility of a baby.

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P.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Make your own decision. This is coming from someone who made the wrong decision many years ago. You may or may not be with your boyfriend for a long time, but that decision will haunt you the rest of your life. Trust me, I know. No matter what he says, it's not his body and it's not his conscience that will always be dealing with it. What is his reason for wanting an abortion? Financial? You are NEVER financially ready for a child. You just do it. Really take time to analyze this. Get your boyfriend out of your ear for a while and really think this through. Although I did the wrong thing, I advocate for life because I know the pain you deal with the rest of your life when you have an abortion.

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S.E.

answers from Houston on

What do YOU feel you should do?

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D.H.

answers from San Antonio on

WOW.. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Make the decision what you want to do and take into consideration that if he feels that way he will probably not have anything to do with the child. Would you have friends and family to help support you? Would adoption be an option?

Girl, I lift you up in prayer....just make sure that the decision you make is what is in the best interest of the baby.

Best of luck,
DH

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I am sending you clarity and strength. Listen to your heart. It is telling you what to do. It does not matter what anyone else wants, thinks or suggests.. This is your choice.

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W.M.

answers from Sherman on

Bless your heart, to be in this situation is so hard, but please don't have an abortion, that is a precious little baby you're carrying. It is one of God's darling little blessings. You will never know why God gave you this blessing if you abort it, for there is a reason. If your boyfriend won't stand up for you & support it, then you don't really need him. GOD bless you, I will keep you in my prayers. W.

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M.C.

answers from Houston on

I would strongly advise against it. You will regreat it everyday, I promise you that. There are SO many families that are not able to have children that would love to give your little on a home. PLEASE think about it. There are so many places that can help you out.

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S.L.

answers from Austin on

It will be hard to choose what to do, but it has to be YOUR choice. You need to really think about what you want for your life. It sounds like your boyfriend might not always be in the picture, so you need to decide if you can or want to have a child on your own. Do you have any close family members to talk to? I know that this can be so hard. Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from San Antonio on

First, my response is tilted towards adoption, not abortion. I was going to relate the experiences of my sister as the one who went through the procedure, but that is her story, not mine. However, if you have told your family you are pregnant, then they will feel the loss as a death in the family. My sister told us about her pregnancy and then chose to have an abortion a couple of months after letting us feel the baby. She called us on the phone and just threw it in as a "By the way..." with the "Hey, how ya doing?" conversation. We all still grieve over the loss of this boy who would be 15 this year.

Please let me encourage you to think strongly about adoption. There are SO MANY people out there who are wanting to adopt a child. You may be carrying the miracle that someone is waiting for. Our family has been the recipients of 5 precious children and love them all. The oldest is 32 with his own wife and children and the youngest is just two weeks old :)

We have a cousin on our mom's side who has adopted twice, two aunts on my dad's side who have each adopted, and a cousin & his wife on my dad's side who just adopted a baby girl on Dec. 13th after losing a 3-months-prematurely-born son 2 years ago. We have friends who just adopted a son earlier this summer after 20 years of trying to get pregnant.

You can even choose an open adoption if you still want to have contact with your child. With open adoptions, YOU get to CHOOSE the adoptive parents. Contact with the child can be any arrangement from receiving pictures and updates from the adoptive parents to actually visiting with child using whatever arrangements you make with the adoptive parents.

God Bless you and help you with this heavy decision. My prayers are with you that you have peace no matter what you decide. God IS always there for you, no matter how dark the tunnel seems to be.

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J.V.

answers from Houston on

You do what feels right for you. Don't let anyone tell you whats right for you especially a man. Talk to a minister or preist if you are religious or not no one should pressure you into anything, you are the one that has to live with what choice you make for the rest of your life. I personally and pro life but I also believe God didn't put me hear to tell others what to do just to try to lead them in the right direction. if I were you I would have the baby and if you feel you can't keep it there are dozens of families out there who would luv to give a baby a home me included! I hope that helps

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R.F.

answers from Austin on

M., You are at a crossroad right now and only you can make the decision at this point. My daughter is now 16 years old, a beautiful girl who loves God, sings, plays guitar, does drama, plays volleyball, and enjoys sketching. I became pregnant with her at the beginning of what I thought was a relationship, only to find out he was engaged. He tried to get me to abort my child but I couldn't bring myself to do it and I am so thankful now that I made the right choice. I am now happily married (11 yrs) and we have a 10 yr old son. M., if you need further direction, please contact an alternative pregnancy resource center in Houston. I will be praying for you M..

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K.Z.

answers from Houston on

What do you want? What are you ready to do? What can you handle? What support will you have?
Get some counseling!!! Check with a pregancy center, they may have free counseling. Consider ALL your options.
You will have to live with whatever you decide to do. Search your heart, pray about it, and do what is best in your mind.

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

Please, please do not let yourself be talked or bullied into an abortion! It is something that will haunt you the rest of your life, and it also carries the risk of physical problems for you in the future. Besides, even if you have an abortion, a guy like that probably wouldn't stick around. 90% of all relationships affected by abortion end within a year or so.

It would be far better to have the baby and place him/her for adoption. There are many people who are desperate to adopt a baby, and they will pay for your living expenses during at least the last few months of pregnancy and your medical expenses. Yes, it will be hard to let go, but it is a loving and responsible thing to do.

You can google "abortion alternatives Houston" and "adoption Houston" for more information. Those people want to help. All the abortion people want is your money.

If you'd like to talk to me, please email me at ____@____.com, and we'll exchange contact information. God bless you.

-D.

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

Hi M.,
There are other options available to you. No baby is an unwanted baby. There are adoption services that will help you should you be unable to support the baby or feel you are unprepared for motherhood. Please seek counseling..Crisis Pregnancy Centers usually have all the information you might need..give them a call....you don't have to do anything because someone tells you to. I will be praying for you and your baby!

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G.G.

answers from Austin on

M., you should do what is best for you. Just think it through VERY well before you make a decision. Don't forget adoption. There are tons of wonderful families out there who desperately want a child. One of my very good friends adopted and they have a relationship with the birth mother. If your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion, there's a chance he's not going to stick around. I don't want to be considered the negative one but I just think I am realistic. Can you do this alone? Can you afford a baby? Do you have a support system nearby? I have two children of my own, a supportive husband and I am in my mid 30's. It's a really tough job!!! ....when you raise kids the right way. I don't want to discourage you, I just think there are so many people out there who think, it will be okay no matter what and it isn't always okay. None of us know anything about your life. You may very well be able to do this on your own. I just want you to really think it through. I don't know your age either. I recommend you talk this over with your parents. You definitely need support no matter what your decision. Good luck to you!

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T.L.

answers from Austin on

M.,
im sure you've had alot of responses about adoption and you should highly take that advice.
My advice to you is to take the advice of adoption because of what an abortion can do to you mentally and physically.Mentally you will have the what if i had done this different.And that will gone on forever what if,what if, what if. The possibilities of what it can do to your body and will do to your body. The possibilities of mis carrige in the future because of the scrapping of your utires. I tell you this because i made the decision of having one and these are the regrets and concequencis i've had to live with.Don't let anyone tell you what you should do in your life especially if your not married to him. Children are blessings of God so if you don't want to start a family right now and probably shouldn't if you don't have a supporting partner,Bless that baby w/a family who will love it.And bless yourself w/peace of mind. I wish you the best. Just because you've been w/this guy for 2 months doesn't mean hes looking out for your intrest more like just his and his future.

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D.G.

answers from Houston on

I'm sorry you are dealing with this right now. If you are asking us what to do I'm guessing you don't want to have an abortion. Please don't let anyone pressure you into making this decision. You don't want to do anything you'll regret later.

Please call this number, they can help: ###-###-####. Another pregnancy help line is 1-800-672-2296.

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K.R.

answers from Houston on

Well M. Here is the BIG question, "What do You want?"

Dont ever put a guy before your child. That is my theory. I was 20 when I had my son and if my highschool boyfriend at the time would have told me to get an abortion I would have said here is a pen and paper sign over your rights and get the Hell out. No questions asked. God has everything planned out for us in life and this is a blessing from Him.
Even though you may think it is not now. I will pray for your situation. Please dont let your BF convince you to do somthing you will regret for the rest of your life, because if you do and 1 or 2 years from now he leaves You will constanly think what if I hadnt had an abortion I would have a beautiful little boy or girl. But if you dont want to raise your baby please consider adoption. You can still qualify for medicaid to pay for your pregnancy if you do decide to keep it or give him/ her up.
Please let everyone know what happens.
God Bless you
K.

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A.T.

answers from Houston on

Keep the baby; dump the boyfriend.

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

PRAY!!!!

From personal expierience, abortion is harder to deal with in the long term.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi M.,
Sorry you are faced with something so tough. First of all nobody has to have an abortion. This man is new in your life but this decision is one that will have impact on the rest of your life. I don't know how old you are or where you live, but I would really suggest contacting a Crisis Pregnancy Center. You can look them up online or in the phonebook, if you need help just send me a private message and I will be happy to find one close to you and send you the number. They are really helpful with giving you good, sound information and also can stand with you throughout pregnancy to give you moral support and help with practical items if you need that as well. Do you have any friends or family you could talk this over with, how about your mom, is she someone that you could talk to? I think if there is anyone you really trust it would be great to get some more input. Based on the fact you say your boyfriend is encouraging abortion, I am thinking you are having doubts about that. So just know you don't have to make any decisions this second and you are not alone and having a baby will not ruin your life. If he is putting a lot of pressure on you, it is OK to tell him you just don't want to talk about if for a few days and then just take some time to clear your head, that baby is not coming any time soon and you don't have to rush. When I found out I was pregnant I had only been married six weeks and we were shocked. But let me tell you I have never had a day of regret that I have my beautiful boy with me. I know your situation is not exactly the same but children have a funny way of capturing your heart and your world has a funny way of just making room for them regardless if the circumstances are ideal. Hey I was born to a dad who was majorly messed up on drugs and my family was probably well below the poverty line when I was young. Today I have a great relationship with my family, I am happily married with a second baby on the way and life is good. There is no telling what is possible and things can always be sorted out. Hang in there girl!! If you want to talk more feel free to send me a personal message anytime, Merry Christmas!

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

dont listen to him if you guys dont want to keep the baby give it up for adoption..there are so many families looking to adopt..

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K.A.

answers from Houston on

I hope I'm not too late with my answer, but you should go with your heart. NOT what some guy who you've only been with for 2 months says. If you don't feel you can raise the baby, there are thousands of people who would love to adopt. Please consider the baby's and your life. Take care.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

I was married when I was told to have an abortion. I already had one kid and knew the relationship was on it's last leg. I had that child and have not regreted having Sam one time. I divorced that man and now he loves both of his sons just as much as he would have one. It is a personal decision that will affect the rest of your life one way or another. I will not tell you it isn't hard but it is so worth it. This man may not be in your life forever but this decision will be, whichever path you take. I hope you have a good relationship with your Mom, talk to her, let her know the situation. She may be a little disappointed but the prospect of a grandkid is really awesome. My 17 year old got pregnant right before her Senior year. I was so disappointed because I know it is hard but I got over it. My granddaughter is so beautiful I could not imagine her not being in the world. CB

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N.T.

answers from San Antonio on

M., please do not listen to anyone but your own heart. What do you want to do is the question and only you can make that decision and be able to live with the decision you make. And whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you. Do not let your boyfriend talk you in to doing anything you don't want. He has the gift of having sex with you but doesn't want any of the consequences. Of course not, why should he? You need to ask yourself a) can you handle this? b) Can you afford to raise a child on your own in case he doesn't pay child support? c) Do you have outside support and help? It is not easy but the rewards are so worth all the ups, downs and joys of raising a child. Please if you decide you are in no position to have this child and raise it on your own that you will consider adoption. Why would you want to not give this child a chance? You took that chance by having sex with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend doesn't want anything to do with this child so be it. You do not need him in your life, but trust me, years from now you will have a child you adore and love and and a child that adores and loves his or her mother. What if you parents had aborted you? Think about that. It isn't easy raising a child and it is costly, but it doesn't matter how much money you have or how little. You love and nourish a child and do the best you can. You make sure you raise them right, put food on the table, get them an education, have clothes to wear and give them much love. I would hate to see you years from now always wanting to know where your child was or what if etc. It will eat at you all your life. If you put the child up for adoption at least they can be put in a family who will love them and hopefully let you be able to know how they are doing as they grow. However when you get my age you look back and thank God for your children and you will cherish every second and every day you had with them and you will be so proud of the people they have become. You will share in their joy, their lives and their own children and that is what it is all about. Family! Though the father should be a part of the childs life you can't force him to do so but you can stand tall and make your own decision and go on with your life. If that happens, trust me you will meet a man who will love you and your child and you will live a happy life. Good Luck to you and I will be praying for you. Just know that whatever decision you make it will be yours and only yours. You are the one who has to carry this child for nine months. Sure you want to consider the father but unfortunately for some of them they want the easy way out and do not want the responsibility. I bascially raised my children on my own and they didn't see their father much if any, but today they are all close and that is what matters.

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

I was actually in almost the exact situation 8 years ago and my bf at the time offered to even pay for the abortion. To him it was a no brainer and didn't feel there were other options. To me abortion wasn't an option and decided to have the baby and told the father that if he didn't want a part in it that he could sign over his rights. I was 20 and in college so I was really nervous about how hard it would be etc. Long story short even though there were hard times I now have a beautiful intelligent 8 year old who I can't imagine living without. His father and I did not stay together after I made the decision to keep the baby but he is in his life and actually has a fairly good realtionship. It wasn't all roses with his dad but I had made my decision and was going to take care of my child. I am now married to a wonderful man who is a great father to my son and now our additonal son as well. If you feel you can't take care of a baby financially you can always put him/her up for adoption. Either way your bf may not be there omorow or the next no matter why you do so don't base your decision on trying to keep him. I have a friend who hose abortion and thinks about the child that could have been all the time. Goodluck and if you have questions about my experience as a single mom I would be glad to go more in depth. I was able to get a great job and even buy a house by myself even though I was a single mother. It isn't always like you see on tv where a woman can't make it without a man. Again good luck and I'll be praying for you.

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

As other responders have said, this very hard decision is yours. It is your body and your choice. But, from my perspective I am one of those people who would love to have a baby but can't. There are alternatives...and there are people who can help. There are couples who will love that baby and be so happy. May you have strength and courage as you deal with this decision. I would imagine you are scared ...find friends, and family who will be there for you. You're not alone.

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M.S.

answers from Houston on

Please look into adoption... Have you thought about raising this baby as a single parent? How will you support him/her? Where will they be when you have to go to work/school? Medical costs, diapers, clothing, daycare expense, food. I am not saying you can't do it, women do it everyday, but you need to think of what is best for this baby and have a plan. Relying on a guy you have been with for only 2 months doesn't seem like a good one. There are a lot of resources out there that can help you. Think hard and pray and do what is right for you.

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

Totally agree with others who urge you to put yourself and the baby before a man who has no desire to care for your well-being. Please contact the hotlines that others suggest, and find out ways that you can be supported in your decisions. Will be praying for you.

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

He is not ready for this,,,,you may end up with a child and no one around to help, think long and hard about this. Be sure that his family also knows about this baby and talk with your dr.

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B.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I didn't read all the responses, but I saw the one about adoption. Someone very near to me was given a precious gift of being able to adopt a baby also. It was an amazing act of love on the part of the birth mother. It was an open adoption also, which meant the birth mother was able to go through the porfolios of the perspective parents and choose a couple she felt comfortable with. Please consider this possiblity if you feel you cannot support the child on your own.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

Lose the guy. Obviously he only wants sex and no responsibility.

As a single mom, you can choose to give the best gift ever. The most amazing sacrifice you can make to this precious little baby is to give him or her to a loving 2-parent home. It would be really difficult but better to know for the rest of your life that he or she is happy and wanted than to know you ended the life of an innocent child.

Friends of ours struggled for 12 years to finally be able to adopt a baby this past July. There are many like them who would forever be grateful to become parents. You can even view websites of couples and choose who you would like to be parents to this baby. You can give a couple the opportunity to have happiness that they have been waiting for while you wait for the right young man to start a family with who will love you and provide for you.

If you really put this child's welfare before your own, you would see that you could not provide what a 2-parent family could. Ask any single mom out there - it is extremely difficult and the child pays the price. I know as I grew up in a single family. My mom loved me and sacrificed for me but she was always at her wits end since my dad was not around to help emotionally, physically, financially, etc.

Wait to start your family when you have the right man who will sacrifice everything to make you and your children happy.

I will be praying for you, M., as this is an extremely difficult decision. But years down the road, you will be so proud of yourself if you can tell others in your place how you took a difficult situation and made it wonderful.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Find a good adoption agency and good family that can adopt your baby. Babies are a gift from God - even if they grow up with another family. If you feel that you can take care of yourself for 9 months and give this baby a life please do. I know so many people waiting to adopt and life is the most precious gift! Good luck. Ask God for his guidance and strength.

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B.M.

answers from Waco on

M., You're in my prayers. Please consider keeping your child or adoption placement. I'm a firm believer things happen for a reason and while we don't always know why, this will turn out to be a blessing in your life. I briefly considered abortion when I was pregnant with my son. We were young at the time and not ready to become parents, but we took responsibility for our actions, and became adults really quick! :O) My boyfriend at the time and I moved in together, I gave birth to my son and we ended up getting married. We've been married 16 years now and my son is 17. I've thanked God so many times that we chose life. Children are a joy and a blessing, and while the road of parenting is not always easy, it's sooo worth it. To see your child develop and grow into their own person is an awesome experience! Whether the boyfriend wants to support you & the baby or not, I'd definitely seek out other resources besides abortion. Bottom line...abortion is killing and that's not the way God instructed us to live. Best of luck to you & many blessings! We're all here for you!

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D.E.

answers from Houston on

please consider another alternative..I know this is hard to deal with but I would contact an adoption counseling center to check out your options. We adopted and we have a beautiful daughter because the birth parents decided on life for their baby instead of abortion. An adoption center can help you financially and medically during the pregancy and you have all the options of choosing the family your baby would go to. My prayers are with you . D.

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M.V.

answers from Houston on

Don't have an abortion. There are pregnancy crisis centers and churches that can help you during your pregnancy and once the baby is born. Where are you located? If keeping the baby isn't an option then consider adoption.

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

No! I am not a fan of that option. Adoption or keep it! I don't like all the guilt and long time sadness that follows from having an abortion. Do the adoption route if you don't think or want to keep the baby. Best of luck to you!

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L.S.

answers from Lincoln on

Hello M., what a scary time this must be for you. Please consider carrying the baby to term and giving him/her up for adoption. There are so many wonderful and loving couples who are unable to have children but desperately desire to love your baby forever. You will not regret giving up the baby to be loved by another family, but you will always remember the pain, guilt and horror of an abortion.
I'm sorry your boyfriend doesn't support you...I pray you'll be able to make the right decision.

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E.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Im sorry in hera that but I agree with Marianne,I was with my boyfriend for 3 months and then I got pregnant but he never asked me to do abortion,thanx God for that because i guess i would leave him,now im 9 months prego and im expecting a boy,and me and my boyfriend got married in July and we are really happy hope your boyfriend changes his mind,but if not dont do the abortion,the baby is a innocent life,its not his/her fault just think how many good memories him/her will bring to you,i always wanted to be a mom,and now my dream turned realiaty,and you will never be alone,even if your friends,family leave your side they will be back if not,God is a true friend and you can ALWAYS count on him he will never leave your side...Good luck and Merry xmas..

L.A.

answers from Dallas on

Well its like this he wants one thing ,but you are going to be the one having it so if he dont want the baby and you do.Well tell him to hit the road.There are alot of guys that would love to take his place..

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D.M.

answers from New York on

do what YOU feel not what ANYONE elses opinion is.
I was with my partner for 2 and a half years when we found out I was pregnant but we were on the verge of breakeing up. when i mentioned we had "options" he was furious and I knew that wasnt an option for him.
however I knew I didnt want a baby. I knew that ultimatly it was MY life that was going to be changed more than anyone elses.
call me selfish... you are right. I was being selfish. sometimes you have to be, you have to take care of yourself and your own needs before being capable of taking care of others.
All these people who say you will regret an abortion....
I dont for one second regret my decision. It was the right choice.
fast forward 2 and a half years more I am still with my partner and I fell pregnant on the pill again. although I was scared I knew I was ready this time. and we are SO much happier about the impending birth than we ever could have been 2 and a half years ago. the last 2 and a half years gave us a chance to accomplish all we were so scared to give up that first time and we are in a great place for having this little one.

dont let anyone tell you abortion is wrong. ITS YOUR LIFE YOUR CHOICE.
will those people all be there when things go south? will they be there when your partner walks out and you have a screaming baby? or will they give you money when you have none? NO
In saying that I know plenty of single mothers who make it work. My mum was one of them. and I have asked her, did you ever consider abortion with my sister? she said she was too young and in denial she was pregnant till it was too late. But time wise maybe she would have. And my mothers life turned out for the best but My sister did make her life much harder than it needed to be.

anyways I think you need to shut everyone out and decide what YOU want.
do YOU want this baby. when you find the answer to that you wont regret your desicion.

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L.R.

answers from Austin on

http://www.austinlifecare.com/index.htm
Life is very precious, please call Austin Life Care, and even if you dont live in Austin I'm sure they can connect you with someone who can help. If you feel you can not raise a child on your own please consider adoption.

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A.M.

answers from Houston on

God makes no mistakes but we do. If God placed the baby in your womb allow it to stay there until he determines what will happen next. Do not make the mistake of using an abortion as a form of birth control. Your body will go into shock as it is going through pregnancy prep. Your body will not recover from an abortion overnight and their are long term effects-emotional, physical, and spiritual, (to name a few)Your unborn child should not be punished for your moment of pleasure. Trust me I know. Who knows, this may be the only child that God will bless you with.
Be blessed,
A.

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