Understanding the Word NO....

Hi R.! My twin boys were born in July of 2006, too. (Big brother was born three years earlier.) What I noticed with my oldest son (and various nieces and nephews), is that babies and toddlers begin to understand the word "no" fairly early on. (The fact that your little guy cries seems to suggest that he as some understanding already.) But they just have absolutely ZERO impulse control and they love what they're not supposed to have. You are doing exactly what you need to do by saying "no" in a firm voice and moving him away from the source of danger, but he's going to be about two years old before you can expect him to follow instructions.

Childproofing to the nth degree is going to be your best bet - and it's amazing how inventive you'll have to be. (Does your end table REALLY need that lamp?) I swear that my oldest was part engineer. He would create ladders out of the darndest things! From about age 18 months to 2 1/2 years, we had no dining room chairs or any other movable furniture in the house!

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I have found that if you can adopt a few more no-like phrases it'll save your sanity and make more of an impact long-term wtih your son. Things like "not for babies" or "not for kids" or "that's for grown-ups" or "not safe" apply to many situations and offers both a "no" and and explanation at the same time. As my son grew into toddler-hood, he had more of a sense of himself. When I told him something was "not for you" or "not for little guys" he understood that he was included in that group. Plus, I didn't have to say no no no no no no no no no no a thousand times a day! :) ~T.

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Hi R.,

I would say "danger" instead of no...for some things this was really really the truth, and my son could hear the worry in my voice when I said it. I think that kids hear no so often, heck, as adults we do, so it's good to differentiate between not ok and harmful.

Hope this helps...best of luck with things

I know exactly what your going through. At about 9 or 10 months my son started to get into EVERYTHING!!! It was driving me crazy. I would tell him no, pull him away and then he'd be right back there again. I finally decided that time out was going to start. Better sooner then later. Since theres no chance of him staying in the corner, instead I put him in his play pen with out toys and I set our kitchen timer for 5 to 6 minutes. The kind of timer that rings like a bell is best. I put the timer where he can see it and that way he knows that when the bell goes off, he's done in time out.

For about a month or so, he was in there alot but lately he hasn't been in there at all. When he's standing at the TV and hitting it with toys (very rarely now) I start to count to three and tell him to sit down. Usually by the time that I get to "2 SIT" he sits down. but if I get to "3" then he goes straight to time out. I figured that it would be better to get him use to it now so that he's not running circles around me whens he's 2 or 3 years old. and remember not to give in and let him out early because if you do he will try and get out early every single time. I'm not saying that you would but I've seen some moms do that and the kids end up running the show in the long run.

Good luck

Don't worry, I remember going through a stage with my daughter when everything I said to her seemed to be "NO". It will pass, but continue doing it. I never "baby-proofed" my home, and because of that and my consistent telling her "NO" when she was going to do or touch something she wasn't supposed to it really paid off. I literally could take her anywhere and people were always happy to see her coming because they knew she would behave. She used to even do things like go to touch something and smile at me as she was getting to it.........knowing I was going to tell her "NO". And I'd still say no and she'd stop. She went from crawling to walking by the age of 8 months..........very scarey to see that little body walking around, but "NO" is a magic word. USE IT ALWAYS WHEN NEEDED!!!!! You will realize a great kid.............You're obviously a loving mom so you already know that loving them is needed to. But if you think about it, telling them "NO" and setting limits is also part of loving them.
Good luck.
C.

I am in the same boat. My daughter Scarlett is 10 months old as well and she is facinated with the electrical sockets. Even though we have the plug covers on she will pick at them and almost get them off. I say "No" in a stearn voice, remove her from the area and distract her with something else. Within a minute she is back at the outlet again.

I would love to hear of any advise you get. I know that there is very little to do when it comes to discipline and a 10 month old, but I would love to hear of anything other folks may say.

im still waiting for my daughter to understand what no means....she is two and a half now, *sigh*.... but i found when she was your sons age i too hated how much i said no. i found the most effective thing with elsa was everytime i would have said no i tried getting her attention, i would see her reaching for that lamp and i would say hey elsa, do you want to play with this block (or bear or whatever was handy) or walk over and start dancing with her, whatever it took to get her attention and get her interested in something other than the lamp without saying no, it still works pretty well for her but now she has a longer attention span, which is so much fun as times, good luck!

Since you know he is curious and is discovering the world around him you might just unplug the lamp when it is not in use and put the cord up. there will soon be a point when he's not interested in pulling it. If you can get the things that he is curious up and out of his way you might have an easier day. Some people might say that you are not teaching him not to touch those things but really when he is old enough to understand why you are constantly telling him No it might be easier...

When I was going through the Early Child Ed program they emphasised indirect guidance which is the environment and making it so you aren't always having to use guidance in the sense of saying no or removing him. Obviously this is usally for centers or child care.. but.. you might consider this for your home and your sanity! :)

Good Luck

I a story to relay and a word of caution. I don't know if you do any ironing, but my brother when he was about that age pulled a hot clothes iron onto his face immediately right by his eye. Of course he still has a scar from it and was very lucky not to have lost his eye.

The only thing that could think of is to have him in a play area/pen if there are a number of dangerous things around and you cannot devote 100% attention at the time and anticipate his every move.

Alternatively, provide distractions such as rotated toys so he is more interested in safe "things" than dangerous ones.

I have found with my son (who is now 22 months old) that telling him what he CAN do really helps. For example, if he is pulling on a lamp cord that could potentialy fall and hurt him I would say "please don't pull on the lamp, I don't want it to hurt you. You can pull on this ----- (couch, pillow, string, toy...what ever is close by and safe) instead". I have had great results with this! sometimes it takes a few times but you will greatly appreciate it when your child is old enough to really talk back to you because the more you use the word no, the more they use it back to you as well! It does take some time to condition yourself and your word choices, but with a little effort it will (hopefully) turn out well.
Good luck!
S.

My son is a very busy body (16mos)...I have found myself telling him "NO" ALL OF THE TIME. Yes, it can be repetitive and it will be. It WILL pay off in time. This is one of the hardest parts of being a parent....Constantly telling your children No, that's not yours, get down from there, what are you doing?, how did you get that, no, no, no. Also, remember they are still learning and they attention span is very short. They also are testing you at the same time. It is always constant. Don't ever doubt yourself either. Sounds like you are on the right track....just keep on truckin'. My son does know what "NO" means. Sometimes he doesn't respond, but I know that he hears me. Again, just keep on truckin'. Something that I have been told in the past as well (way before I had my son) is that sometimes you need to get to their eye level so that they can see you eye to eye. Then they see how much it means to listen. I hope that this helps. T.

Try using the word danger or ouch (owie, ouchie) when it is dangerous and no at other things.

That whole 'no' thing didn't really pan our for us...I too have a 10(1/2) month old child and we ended up telling her 'no' so much that she learned to say it back! She mostly says it when we make her do something that she doesn't like(Highchair, Bumbo, Car seat..shoes). She looks at us, points her little finger and says 'doh!'. We've changed our word to 'stop' and it seems to have the same effect as no(which is nothing)..but atleast she can't say it back to us =) The idea of removing him from the situation is way more effective than chasing them around saying 'no' to everything he touches(it's so easy to see the potential for injury in the weirdest things!). This will all be over sooo fast! My living room is a shell of what it used to be. We had to remove the coffee and end tables(head injuries) the DVD holder(pull over risk)and now we have to get a new Entertainment center so we can bolt it to the wall so she can't shake it(she pulls up on it) and knock it over on her. The only thing we can't get rid of is the couch because I refuse to have bean bag chairs replace it! And, since this got really long and pointless..I just wanted to say your doing everything right with trying not to say no to much and removing him from the situation just keep doing it and he'll catch on soon. -les