Unaccompanied Minor

I don't have a 7 yr old, so I'm not coming from that perspective, but I think 10 is a reasonable age to fly without parents. I'd also take layovers, etc, into consideration, and if this is something the child has done enough to know how to do it by himself, even if there are delays or the airport is set up a little differently (construction, etc). Good luck!

NEVER NEVER NEVER is my opinion on flying alone. You never know what might happen on a flight, especially all the way across the US

I agree with all the other mamas out there. No way. I wouldn't send my child unaccompanied on a flight until mid-teen years. Even then, only a non stop flight. Good luck.

I don't think it's a good idea to let a 7 year old fly alone either, for the exact same reasons you have given. He's only a child and no flight attendant will give him their undivided attention, as they have their job to do. Maybe an alternative to the situation would be to meet halfway: if by car, meet up in a state in between where you two live, if by plane, meet at the layover, etc! Good luck in your situation.

NEVER!! I was on a flight where they got the names on the sheet wrong for the minor and asked me to wait, so I did, not realizing why. By the time I was like I'm not a minor, I have a child of my own, the child had gotten off the plane themselves, since they didn't know what to do. Thankfully the child ~11 yr didn't know what to do so he went to an airport employee in uniform for help. Not to scare you, but I wouldn't risk it. We are just starting to talk about my 14 yr old niece flying by herself (since she'll be able to drive her self in a year and a half). If you do decide, make sure you explain what to do to your son, don't get off the plane without your escort, etc. Also, you can probably look this up roughly online, but I've heard a court won't support unattended flying until 13 (I think). Good luck.

My husband remembers flying by himself between his parents' homes when he was around 4 or 5 and he said it was no big deal and he wasn't traumatized by it or anything. I would think 7 is plenty old to travel unaccompanied. I think it would have been an adventure as a kid to do something like that and something that your son might even be proud of.

Of course the decision is a personal one for each family to make, but I was rather shocked by the almost unanimous response of what I would consider extreme overprotectiveness. I'm glad you guys aren't my mother!

I wouldn't do it! If you feel strongly about this as his mother, then you need to stand your ground. I know my two kids and I know kids in general (especially boys) are curious by nature and don't just follow along like the rest of the passengers. The chances are just too great something could happen. And, heaven forbid the plane were to crash and he was by himself during an emergency. Even with other people around, he would want his mommy. If you don't think it's right, don't let your ex convince you otherwise. If you have primary custody of the child, the courts will side with you.

I can imagine that you are getting lots of responses to this. There is NO WAY, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES would I have let my child that young fly unaccompanied. In my opinion, and granted, I have a strong one on this, if Dad is so irresponsible as to consider this, I wonder what kind of supervision is he providing when your son is with him.
Best of luck with this one.

This is a tough position for you. I think flying alone for 2 hours TOPS would be okay. However, you need to take in to consideration the amount of time it takes to board the flight, taxi to the runway, fly, land and taxi back to the gate and then finally meet up with an adult on the other side. That could take an additional 30 minutes or so. I think the best thing you can do is assess your child and see if he's ready to be alone with strangers for a period of time.

You have to make your own choice on this one. However I will give you the benfit of my experience with sending a child as an unaccomanied minor. We use Southwest Airlines. My sister uses American. With both we were allowed to stay with our child until they bored the flight, They boarded 1st. When I picked my daughter up, she dis-embarked last. The reason being that she was with the flight attendent the whole time. The seated her with other children flying by themselves. The flight she was on there were 2 of them. She had no problem on the flight there of back. I have allowed two of my girls to fly alone. WE used the restroom right before time to leave, made sure she had a book, colorbook, crayaons, and fruit snacks in her bag. The airlines are really careful with your child. My older child had to change planes, they took her from one plane to the other on one of thoose golf cart things, she thought that was great.

My sister wanted me to fly my daughter a year before I did because my daughter was afraid to fly alone, when she was not afraid we let her go. I was terriefied the entire time she was in the air on her way out, once she got there called and told me how much fun she had and how great it was I was o.k.

good luck with your decesion
A.

You may not have a choice. I would hate to let it happen, but my sister was taken to court over custody b/c she wouldn't let her daughter fly. The dad was moving to Germany so the judge granted him visitation and its actually written in the order that if my sister doesn't want her to go unaccompanied, then she has to pay for a ticket and go with her. It sucks! My 10 year old niece HATES flying alone - and that is a LOOOOOOOONG flight. She said when she got off the last time that there was a "wierd guy" that sat next to her - she was so uneasy with him there that she wouldn't sleep. It was an overnight flight, 13 hours. =( Good luck!

Perhaps your ex is unaware of the real world we live in! OMG! I would never send a 7yo acroos the country or ANYWHERE, like down the block, unaccompanied. You are absolutely NOT being overprotective. If the ex is accross the country by his own choice, then he should pop his butt on a plane and come get his child AND bring him home. If it is a different situation, then I would think joint arrangement should be made. Again, I would say- NEVER would I send my child on a plane unaccompanied-it's just too dangerous. Children have dissappeared off the face of the earth in far more controlled circumstances. Stand your ground, you are obviously the more intelligent parent here-LOL, but seriously! Good luck!

I agree with your concerns. As a mother of three sons ranging from 8-27 I did not let any of them fly alone until they were in their early teens. By then they were wise, independent, and eager to have the adventure with still many conversations about not dealing with strangers. Also the flight was a nonstop so no time alone in an airport.
Hang in there, J. W

D.-
I had considered this for my girls to be able to visit my family in NY. It's a 55 minute flight. No big deal, we fly all the time. Someone then mentioned to me in light of 9.11 what could happen and would you really want your children in that situation or ANY situation and wishing that mom was there to protect them.
Glad you have decided to make the better decision!

I'm overprotective, too. I wouldn't be too thrilled about that idea, either. If the plane had an emergency situation, like in New York, I would be a wreck. How long is the flight? If this is from VA to CA, I'd probably plan to travel with him. If your ex travels on business, maybe he can coordinate his visitation with travel plans? Or, your family can plan vacations around visitation? Maybe another relative wouldn't mind going with him? Are there travel specials on military planes, which might be a little safer? I don't know.

D.,
I think it all depends on your comfort level and the maturity of your son. However, I don't think I would feel comfortable letting my 7 year old fly alone.

Best of luck with your decision.

About 20 years ago, my 2 sons had to start making the cross country trip for my visitation (Mostly Seatac to Orf). I think that they were 7 & 8 at the time of their first flight. Yes, I worried about their safety. But, because of all of the additional safe guards that you get for the extra fee you pay, it is okay. Of course at that age, the boys flew together and I firmly believe that there is safety in numbers. If you are really worried about what can happen during a layover, book your child on a direct flight and drive the extra distance to that airport. There are a lot of direct cross county flights into DC. The attendants are required to only release the child to someone showing the proper ID and must stay with the child until that transfer is made. By the time of my boys' final flights they were old hands at air travel. Since it is a cross country flight, be sure to pack stuff for him to do in his carry-on that is in accordance with air safety requirements. Also, have the stranger talk again with your child, but assure him that the attendants are like the police and are there to make sure he is safe on this trip. Your child will be fine, and after a couple of years air travel will be one of his favorite things - unless he suffers from motion sickness. I am not sure that they allow kids in the cockpit any more due to safety issues, but, if you can, try to get him a window seat (not over the wing) so that he can see what the country looks like as he flies over it. That is way cool for people who are taking their first flight.

UGH, this is a h*** o*e. PErsonally NO, I wouldnt, BUT tons of moms do allow their children to fly unaccompanied all the time.
So now that I am thinking about it, If you get a non stop flight and your husband or you walks your son to the plane and even maybe his seat if they let you. Then you wait for the plane to take off so that you know he is safely in the air. Then the other parent is at the destination to retrieve the child off the plane. So actually he is never in a "public" place all alone. ANd I feel he would be safe on the plane by hisself w/ the flight staff to keep an eye out for him. They do it all the time.
How does your son feel about it? You could always try it once and see how it goes....
But I know, it still makes you nervous. Its always hard letting our children out of our personal watch and care.

Hi~
I don't blame you for feeling concerned about this, and you certainly need to assess the situation carefully before making any decisions. However, some of the things you must consider are:
* Will your son miss out on visiting his father if you say no? That's a big one.
* Has your son flown before? Any experience is helpful.
* Does he want to go? Does he feel comfortable?
* Can you trust him to follow the rules/directions from the flight attendant?

My husband had this same issue with his children. We were living in WA state and his children were in NJ. His sister flew out with them once, he flew back and forth to get them once (of course, his ex wife didn't do anything to help), but that is a terribly expensive way of doing things. In this economy, I can certainly understand the need to cut costs. On the other hand, you don't want to deprive your son of his time with his father.

This is not an easy decision, and the safety of the child is clearly priority, but there are rules in place and the flight crews take it very seriously. My husband's children were 11, 9, and 8 when they started... and the middle child is low functioning autistic.

I've seen a lot of gut reaction responses here... advice is good, but be sure to make the decision that's best for your family. If my husband's ex wife had said no, he wouldn't have seen them much for years. That's really h*** o* the kids and the dad. I know you probably don't care much about how the dad feels (don't blame you either... we care little about how their mom feels! ;) but we try our best to do whats best for the kids.

Good luck

H-E-2Hockeysticks No! There are crazy people out here. Tell his selfish father that his son is far more worth than the "extra" plane ticket. If he doesn't pay for it, your son should stay with you. Better yet, ask dad to come to your son. That way he can pay for himself and not be concerned with the "extra" cost. My niece flew by herself and the airline "lost" her. She wasn't taken to her transfer point, and finally ended up at her destination many hours late. She was a little older than your son.

D.,
I have to agree with you on not wanting to let your son fly for visitation. I have a 10.5 year old who spends 6 weeks of the summer break with her father in Vermont, we just recently moved to VA and the idea of flying her to VT and back instead of us making the trip up and I am not confortable with this at all. I having been toying with the idea of when she is 13 letting her fly but at this time I dont like the idea of it at all. Just my opinion and hope it helps.

Dear D.,
It sounds like the concerns outweight the bonus of saving some money.. And it sounds slike your mind is semi already made up. Both my husband and myself said that 7 years old still is too young to fly cross country by himself. I've flown cross country by myself but i started when I was 11, and even then its scary. And no you are not being too protective.
Pammy

Personally I wouldn't do it based on something I witnessed 2 years ago.

My husband and our 2 kids (then ages 1 and 3) were flying on Delta from Dulles via a layover in Atlanta to Ohio. On our return trip there was a problem in Atlanta and what should have been a 2 hour layover turned into 7 hours. At the gate area (which was chaotic) I noticed a boy (who turned out to be a 9 year old flying unaccompanied between parents for visitation)sitting alone amongst the hundred or so waiting to board. A flight attendant had brought him to his seat and I heard her saying for him to stay there while she handled the gate desk with another flight attendant-working with the 100 or so passengers to be rerouted or re booked on other flights---consequently she didn't even look in his direction for 2 hours-and when she did it was to "check on him" for less than a minute before returning to her duties at the desk-He was lonely and spoke to several other passengers including myself. I asked him if he wanted to call his Mom on my cell--so she wouldn't worry and so she could have my number --and a way to reach him during our delay--he didn't know his phone number-he had nothing to eat--no money and went to the Mens restroom alone without the flight attendants noticing he had left and returned--I was stunned (As a mother of 2 myself)--I could only imagine how his Mom must be feeling as our flight delay stretched on and on--We finally boarded and were on our way home--

I hope you are able to stick to your guns and continue to fly with him. 7 is very young (not to mention trusting--)it is sad to say but the world we live in--anything can happen and your Ex will hopefully understand--that cost should not be a consideration where your child is concerned--

A trip to the cockpit is all great and wonderful but what happens when there is a delay, problem or flight cancellation--even if you have a direct flight stuff happens flights are rerouted etc

Good Luck

M

I don't think I would let my son fly alone (he's 8). It's a dangerous world we live in! Maybe your son is more mature, but for as much as I could pound the specific rules/instructions into my son's little head, I can't be sure he'd be responsible or mature enough to handle a tough situation.
Way to Look Out,
S.:)

I personally would have a difficult time with that, however I have heard of kids travelling alone at that age with the airlines "helping". It would certainly need to be your call and what you really feel comfortable with. After all, this is your child too! I understand your protectiveness, my daughter who is 13 wants to fly alone cross country this summer to visit cousins, and I am having a hard time deciding what I feel comfortable with. Good luck in your decision!

You are not being overly protective...I am a flight attendant for a major airline and i would not send my own child alone at that age. Maybe in fiv years, but not at 7. It is too scary for the child and i love having the kids on he plane but a million things could happen like you divert for an emergency etc...and the flight attendants would be great with him, but i just think it is tooyoung...too scary for the child...hope this helps!

Stick with your gut, do not put a seven year old on a plane alone. He is at the prime age for abduction, easily lured. Don't do it.

Hi there,

I think you already know your answer! You don't feel like this is a good idea, so there you go! I soooo wouldn't allow it either and my son is going to turn 9!
Good Luck!

Personally, I wouldn't let my 7 year old fly by him(or her)self. This is one reason I insisted on a statement in our separation agreement (now divorce decree) which states we have to live within 2 hours driving time from one another. I know circumstances are different for everyone - I know some people do allow their children to do this and I'm not saying they're wrong. My personal belief is that a 7 year old is not ready to make adult decisions therefore they should not be left to the care of numerous strangers to get him from one place to another. Too many things can happen during that time. I think it also depends some on the child. If you have a very shy child, the stress of having to go through would be awful. For an outgoing child, it would be exciting. I don't envy you having to make this decision but I would suggest that you stick to your feelings on this one.

I agree Moms - NOPE - No Way - Never !!! And in addition to the other things Moms have said - what about all the changes lately in flight schedules? Delays, rerouting, cancelled flights, I mean - it's a bit much to take when you are an adult having to shift gears when you look at the flight board and realize you have to scramble to get a flight home cos of a last minute change made by the airlines. The last time we flew we were forced to stay in a strange city overnight and catch a midday flight home the next day. What If?? How is a 7 yr old gonna handle that? You're a good Mom for thinking ahead at what might happen. That's what good Moms do naturally. And that kind of thinking keeps our kids safe. I think you are RIGHT ON thinking he's too young to do this alone. Blessings, S.

Hey D., it's N.! I agree with you 150%! I would never allow my 7 yr old to fly alone...period! Stand your ground and simply just do NOT allow it. Prevention is much easier than trying to undo something after it happens.

Hope you all are doing well.

Take Care,
N. R.
SAHM homeschooling 3 boys and married to my Mr. Wonderful for 15yrs. I love to help families shop and save for safer healthier products we all use every single day.

I have some family members who have flown their children (similar age) from Japan to the US unaccompanied. They were spoiled rotten by the crew each time! They were given all kinds of treats and special treatment, not to mention they felt like big shots.

I think it is really important that if this is something you decide to do, you should be sure to keep your uneasiness hidden from your son. Kids pick up on things we never imagine, and you don't want to ruin what could be a very fun and exciting experience for him.

I started flying alone, from CA to NY and back, at the age of 10. I was visiting my Aunt and Uncle and was not left alone at any point. When I found a little girl on the plane to talk to, I was allowed to change seats to sit next to her and her mother. It seemed like a very short flight because of that, but the flight attendant had her eye on me the entire time. Even when I got off the plane and saw my Aunt and Uncle, I wanted to run to them as soon as I saw them, but the flight attendant wouldn't let me until she saw some ID. She was pretty quick to grab me before I ran off, and I was not a child with a tendency to run off.

I believe the supervision provided is adequate, having done it myself as a child, and have looked into allowing my children to fly alone to see their father (right now we meet halfway and spend 14 hours on the road at a time). I believe each airline has different policies regarding unaccompanied minors. The one I had looked into (JetBlue) has an age requirement and also requires direct flights only. They don't allow layovers for kids flying alone.

There are a lot of things to check into before allowing it, but I feel that if you can leave your child with a babysitter for a few hours, you can leave him with a flight attendant for that same length of time. If your child is scared, prone to moving about rather than staying where he belongs until told otherwise, or in any way resists the idea of flying alone, then especially at such a young age, you shouldn't do it. 7 is quite young to be flying alone and I understand your concerns, but the only safety concerns I would have would be the individual child's ability to handle it. Just my two cents.

Hi D.,
I am a former flight attendant, my oldest is almost 7 and we would not send him on his own. He is unbelievably mature and the airports and plane are a second home to him but it does get lonely for the kids more so in the terminal waiting to get on the plane. The flight attendants on most airlines do a great job. When you buys on most airlines a smaller cheaper company is doing the shorter halls and those flight attendants are not as well trained or seasoned as the bigger carriers. Another reason that we will not do it is because there are no laws preventing a pedophile to fly on a plane or be in an airport. My husband and I are not over protective by any means but we will not let any of our kids especially the boys go into a public restroom with out one of us or making sure that the bathroom is empty. The likely hood of something happening is more then likely not going to happen but is it worth it. If you have to do it I would look at the safety record of the airline first and then how happy their employees are would you hire a babysitter that you treated badly or under paid or browbeat. Good luck with your ex I do not envy your position at all.
E.

Hi I have been doing the minor flying alone for 5 years now with my step daughter. First off let me say they will not let hem fly alone he will have to be seated with some one it is kind of a inconvence but we have used southwestern for the past five years and have no promblems. they a great with her. She is almost 12 so her days are almost done with the sterwartiest walking her to the gate until she sees her mom our one of us.We have let her fly cross country if you are still wondering Her mom lives in AZ, and we leaved in ohio now VA. If they are mature you won't have to worry to much. Southwestern is low on prices compared to others and they make sure if the plane is layed over some one is with them. Mkae sure you give hem plenty of stuff to do like gameboys or what not and I found we bought her a cheap MP3 player it helped with the nosie around her, so she was not afriad or anything. Does he have motion sickness, make sure you give hem something for it before he flys, they will not do that for you. If you have any more questions or thoughts feel free to contact me I'll help if I can.

NO no No NO NO. I would not do this at all. As many have said that there is just too much risk involved. What if something happened with the father and he wasn't able to meet him on time. Then what?
Too many scenarios to mention and a lot of good points have already been raised regarding safety, the child's emotional and mental well being (being alone) and whether the airline is equipped to give him the care and attention he needs and whether they are experienced enough to have employees that don't mind taking care of a child.

Of course this does not help you in making your decision because not much has been offered for alternatives.

How far is he from you? Can you drive him to the father or is it too far? Can you meet in the middle somewhere? Can you afford to fly with your son? How often does he visit with his father? If it is not often, can you work something out where you meet someplace to have a family vacation but let the father and son be by themselves while you enjoy time with your husband? What does your husband say about this?
You also may want to contact a family lawyer to find out your options regarding refusal to have children fly unaccompanied. See if you have any rights when it comes to your decision seeing as you are being a good parent with concerns about his safety and well being and not out of being spiteful or difficult with an ex.
How can a court fault you for not wanting to send your child off with strangers with no way of knowing what happens once he lands?
I hope that you are able to work out a plan that makes everyone happy because, depending on the situation, a child should have a relationship with both parents.

Good luck.

You are NOT over-protective! You know your child better than anyone. Your child trusts you to always have his best interests and welfare at the forefront of the decisions you make, especially ones that impact him directly. In this day and age, you cannot be too careful where safety, strangers and unaccompanied adventures are concerned. Trust your instincts on this one and stick to your decision!
I do encourage you to look for and offer options that would still allow your son to spend time with his father. Could your ex fly to his son and go someplace from there together, like a camping trip? Do your vacation plans allow you to meet him somewhere with your son? It's important to be open and agreeable to working out a compromise.
Good Luck!

C.

Hi!
Growing up, I had a father (who was actually a flight attendant) that was from, and lived in, NY; and a mother in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. I began flying as an unaccompanied minor since the age of 4. Now, I'm not sure how the flight attendants are now, because I'm now 2 weeks shy of 28, but at that time we never had a problem. They were very attentive and make sure that the child is comfortable, not in need of anything, and gets to the other parent safely. Knowing how my mother is, I don't think that she would've been so comfortable with me doing such a thing either, ESPECIALLY at the age of 4, but I guess since my father was a flight attendant himself, he reassured her that everything would be fine.
I'm also thinking of unaccompanied minors that I've seen on flights in recent years, and I can't think of a time I've ever seen a child crying or unhappy, or anything like that- much different that then children that are actually with their parents, lol!
This is the only information/perspective I can offer- having gone through it myself (as the child). My own baby is only 15 weeks in the womb, so who knows what I may have to do later on in life! Good luck.

I agree with you D. - There are just too many people out there that can't be trusted. If you sent him alone and something happened, you'd never forgive yourself. That being said, I do know people who send kids that age unaccompanied and all has been fine. I wouldn't want to take a chance. Good luck!

My parents use to let my brother and I (now 44) fly by ourselves when we were your son's age. We would fly from Hawaii to New Jersey.

The flight attendants do take very good care of the children. Your son will also enjoy seeing the cockpit. Ask the airlines if you can walk thru security and take your son to his first airplane. They may not let you due to the increased security now.

The most important thing to remember is you have to be comfortable with the situation.

F.

You are right to have your antennae up. My advice: Do not let your child travel unaccompanied. I would let the child go only with a responsible adult that you know very well and trusted. If it was 20 years ago, that might be a different issue, but today...definitely not. If anything were to happen, you would never forgive yourself.
Find another way to handle this issue; see if you can compromise; split the airfare or something.

Hope this helps.