My little boy is a week away from the big two. I've heard all about the terrible twos and had no illusions that my child would avoid them. His ups and downs told me so. Recently, he has begun screaming. Not joyful. I'm talking misery and tantrums. If he doesn't get his way, if something goes wrong, he screams, screams, screams to the point where it sounds like it's painful for him (not to mention me.) He hits and is inconsolable. We put him in his time out chair and after the 2 minutes, he usually is done screaming and just wants some love. But sometimes he screams right after we take him out. He has been sick this week with a cold and croup, so I know he is not feeling his best but I think this is more than him being ill. Plus, since he has had croup, I worry even more about the screaming.
I am at a loss. Yesterday was Christmas and I know he was overstimulated by the people, toys, etc. We wound up giving him his binky which he only uses to sleep, never when he is awake, but it was the only thing that calmed him down at all. Again, I'm sure the Christmas fun and being sick plays some role in this but I don't think its 100%. Has anyone gone through this and were they successful in teaching their little one this is not acceptable? Thanks!
Hi Tahara,
I would just ignore him!! My daughter did the same thing, and even putting her in the time out chair gave the screaming the extra attention that she wanted from it.
If you just ignore it and carry on like nothing is wrong, it will lessen the screaming time and it will eventually stop. Even the negative reinforcement of a time out chair is reinforcement to continue the unwanted behavior.
Good luck,
L.
Tahara,
Pick him up and hug him. Likely he is teething. Has he received any shots recently? Check out the VAERS site. See if any of his symptoms fit the bill.
Good luck,
M.
I'm sorry I don't have better advice, but this is just a phase. If he's not speaking much at this point he's getting increasingly frustrated that he can't express himself.
My son was the same way you described your boy. Hitting, screeching.. the list goes on. It didn't last long.
My son is 3 years old and is much calmer now. (sometimes he does throw tantrums outside and we just try to distract him with something he likes. Like a lollipop, toy, food, etc)
Sounds like he's teething. My daughter who is 18 months old has been doing that lately (and we too have been giving her binkies out of the bed to calm her), and her cousin (a little older) is going through it as well, and she does have some teeth coming in.
Just keep up with it, don't give in, but know that his teeth might be bothering him.
I'm just wondering what your son is takign for his croup? If he is on Prednisone that could be contributing to the mood swings and his temperment being a little more out of sorts than usual. Whn my dd took it for croup it made her bonkers!! I mean bouncing off the walls, HUNGRY!!! and very very moody and sensitive.
This is normal. But it's a good time to introduce "inside voice" and "outside voice". I did this with my kids. It's a way to explain what is exceptable noise levels inside. When he starts screaming, let him know this is not an inside voice. Even though it's a tantrum of sorts, it's still a good time to teach the difference. Also, if you try to sooth him it can only help to reinforce the behavior.
Hmmm, you know him best. And since u mentioned overstimulated by christmas, I wonder if he is just a sensitive boy who needs quiet time throughout the day to learn to soothe himself, transitions with calm advabce notice instead of jumping from one thing to next?
Some kids need mellow time esp if they are also sick, having growing pains, everything is changing in their independence levels...try it, see if he screams less. Do not rely on binky unless absolutely necessary or you start a habit hard to break! Find an alternate lovey..and sometimes when u see a moment a scream is coming, hug him or take a walk to prevent it....good luck!
Not too unusual for the age. My son likes his blankie to calm down (even at almost 4).
My only advice is: weather the storm. Don't give in, don't overreact, and this too shall pass. Stay strong, we have all been through it. Your son is exploring his power and influence, finding his place in the world.
yes, im going through this, with my 1 and 2 year old! I took away both of their binkys a month ago and they are having screaming fits and sometimes i wish they were still on the binky but we are standing our ground w/ the binky and instead substituting it with a different bad habit: candy, lol, but we are desperate parents also we try and give them fruit and other healthy things but that doesnt always work or sometimes we put in a lot of work distracting them by taking them outside or to the fridge, but if you need a laugh visit momw2.wordpress.com, and sometimes that site is what helps me cope, lol
In addition to regular discipline and such, what we found helped our guy through holiday craziness was structure, structure, structure. Institute a coloring time (you and he together) 15 minutes before each meal or snack (or 15 minutes before you start preparing the food) -- and talk about it before and during the day, so he has some grounding that he can relate to. Our son's Christmas when he was 2.5 years old was just miserable -- his behavior and everyone else's expectations were just too much -- and it wasn't his fault. Holidays are just too much the way we do them -- but you can give him back some regular routines and that might help his brain to process all of the new excitement as well as getting back on track after being sick. Good luck!
When kids are around 2, sometimes earlier, they begin to have distinct likes and dislikes. The problem is they havent yet learned to talk, at least not well enough to express their opinions. Teaching a child to sign can help them communicate, but also its up to the parent to know their child and anticipate their wants. Maybe they want a bad thing, well if you explain to them WHY they cant have it instead of just NO, then distract them (2's are easily distracted thank goodness)you will head off the tantrum. The same way you need to figure out if they are hungry or thirsty or bored. I saw a child once at a ball game screaming horribly. The mom kept telling him to shut up and then ignored him. He was having a horrible tantrum. Then his older sister threw her sippy cup on the ground near him. He struggled out of his stroller and managed to grab it, sat back and drank. The poor kid was thirsty and the mom had no clue. I was watching all this from afar and felt like slapping the mom, but I behaved and just ignored them.
I think all in all, this is a phase and with wise discipline much of it can be controlled so that you stay sane. I am just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel - my son is 28 months old now and I recall that his behavior peaked around 23 months. It is better, especially now that he is saying more words and can express a little what he is feeling. I have learned from experience and advice from other moms that traditional time outs do not work for some 2 year olds. I think they don't get the concept - they jsut think you are walking away from them. I have used what I call the "together time out" where I will do time out with him, sitting next to him while he lays on the bed or in my arms crying, but I don't pay attention to him and I make no eye contact. After he calms, I look in his eyes and say, "I know, you are angry (or sad)! See angry?" and sometimes if I have one nearby I hold a mirror to show him his face. I figure that the more he can associate feelings and facial expressions with words, he can use the word next time. Also I find that looking in the mirror sort of "breaks" the tantrum a little. I find that timing out together works a lot more than walking away completely, and it has reduced the screaming. Now, even though he does not say the word, he will nod yes or no when I ask him if he is angry.
Then, I will say, "you want hug, feel all better?" after the time out is done (2 minutes) AND after he is calm (which can take longer than 2 minutes) - often he will say yes and the drama is over, at least for the moment. For now, I don't focus too much on trying to get him to understand the rules, just the cause and effect part of it (hit = time out, no mention of why hitting is bad, that it hurts, etc.) to keep it all very simple and not overwhelm him. My method does not work all the time - however, it works MOST of the time, and that is OK by me, considering that he is only 2 after all, and life can sometimes really be overwhelming for the little guy and he really cannot help himself.
Finally, I forgot to mention teething - this actually happen to me a few weeks back, when there was a sudden flare in his tantrums out of nowhere, and later I happened to notice his gum was swollen on one side. I tried a dose of Motrin and gave him cold fluids and it helped.
I have the same child. I would like to know the reponces you get. He is straining whole family.
I have a 26-month-old who acts out alot too. I don't have a magic cure but I keep trying to keep my cool in order to help him cool his temper whenever it flares.
Just like you said in your post, I felt that my son was over-stimulated on Christmas too. I've tried to keep him away from the "goodies" by hiding all the candy and cookies, and about half of his toys haven't been brought in the house from Xmas Eve at his nanna's house.
I agree with what someone else said about teaching him "inside" vs "outside" voice (we're not quite there yet...).
This is a phase as they are learning how to express themselves but have no impulse control yet. I just try to explain things calmly over & over to our son when he gets upset.
