Two Year Old Boy Not Listening

He's two. He's a Boy.

He's not going to listen :-)

YOU have to anticipate what he is going to do.

YOU have to redirect his behavior.

YOU have to practice GOYBP (Get off Your Butt Parenting)

some little ones need A LOT of hands on redirection, and refocusing. It's hard work, but yelling, and timeouts clearly aren't working for him (at two I doubt he even comprehends why he is in time out) so be proactive in preventing problem behaviors until he has gained the maturity and self control to handle himself.

1 mom found this helpful

It seems like you are getting some great advice about typical behavior in a two year old.
But I wanted to suggest that if your son is refusing milk, there may be a good reason for it, he may have a milk allergy. Our bodies often know we it cannot handle even though you wouldn't think a two year old would be able to communicate that by refusal.
My son had many, many ear infections - we took him off milk and he never had another one. A couple years later, I decided it was time (he was 5) and he should drink milk. He would actually hold his nose and slug it down - I needed to pay attention to what he was saying. We never did go back to milk but he did enjoy milk products such as yogurt, cheese. He is now 23 years old and still does not drink milk.
Might be worth thinking about or talking to your doctor. What he a breastfed baby or formula? If breastfed, how did he tolerate you taking in milk products and milk? If he was formula, was he able to tolerate the milk based formula? Moms are such good detectives - I am sure you will figure this one out.

I too have child that won't listen the difference is that he four. What I do is take away some of his favorite things to do. But you have to remember to be creative because children these days catch on very quickly.You can also try reverse psycology. If he can't listen to you then you can't hear him when he ask for something.

Hello K., This is a normal stage for terrible two's. You cannot change this about your son, but you can change how you parent him, so both of you can cope. There are plenty of parenting books in the library that should help. My favorite is "Making children mind, without losing yours", by Kevin Leman. Some children are just more strong willed than others. Good luck.

This is probably his age and need to feel in control, but I'd have the pediatrician check his hearing and developmental progress to be sure nothing is amiss. This is the age when things like mild autism can show up. Just to be sure, I'd have a talk with the doctor about all this. I wouldn't hit him and, as tempting as it is, yelling, except in an emergency, is often counterproductive. It's hard to say if he's tuning you out or just asserting his independence or what, from the brief description you gave. You need to rule out something being wrong with him before you proceed further. I'd be gentle and be sure he's looking you in the eye when you are addressing him no matter what. As far as the milk goes, a lot more kids do not tolerate cows milk than was formerly thought to be the case. With a healthy diet and vitamins and plenty of water and some diluted juice, milk isn't very important. Be sure he gets calcium from other dietary sources and gets some sunshine for the vitamin D.

Hi,
Rather than yelling at him, try distracting him with something that he is allowed to do. Two year olds have pretty short attention spans, so show him what is ok to do rather than repeating "don't". Once he takes on the new task, praise him like crazy and tell him thank you for listening. Has always worked for my son (he's 3 now).
Good luck.

K.,

Our son was very similar at the age of 3 and we learned to deal with each situation as it came rather than a blanket technique. Unfortunately this is a phase and eventually he will begin to listen to you, but you might want to play a listening game when he is in a good mood. Tell a very short story with 3 step-sentences and then ask him to tell you what happened 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Practice playing board games together and following the directions, then play the game how he wants to.

When you know he heard you but decided to throw a temper-tantrum or ignore you completely then you need to follow through with a pre-set consequence. We took away the toy he was currently playing with and said, "Because you were not listening to me this toy needs to go into a time-out, you can get it back when you are ready to listen."

A sticker chart can be a great tool for those boys who like seeing their progress. Initially we gave our son stickers for new responsibilities he was learning. Each time he did something we asked without complaint or argument he earned a sticker, but when he did complain he lost a sticker. 5 stickers in a row earned a treasure from the treasure chest. Now we give our son a sticker when he does something that makes our eyebrows go up in surprise, such as clearing our dinner dishes without being asked, putting away his laundry without a reminder, and giving someone a gift just because.

Finally, in answer to your milk question - if you are concerned about his calcium intake there are other, better sources of calcium that milk. Dark, leafy greens such as spinach and kale have more calcium per ounce than a glass of milk. Also, broccoli, green peppers, and other green veggies. You might want to look at this article:
http://www.spine-health.com/wellness/nutrition-diet-weigh...

If you are concerned about his vitamin D intake the above article also addresses this - but sending your son outside to play for a 1/2 in the morning without sunscreen will help his body to make enough vitamin D to get through the day.

Good luck with your son.

-C..

Get his hearing checked. He may not be able to hear you.

Boys often behave differently than girls, so his behavior may come as a surprise after having a girl. Also, he's only two and will test you during his "terrible twos" period.

The purpose of cow's milk is to nourish small calves and turn them into big cows. There are other sources of calcium and protein for humans. Try other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. Do a little nutrition research about other sources of calcium, Vitamin D and protein.

Good luck!

Sooooooo glad you asked this question. I don't have an answer, but looks like you've gotten so great advice! My son is two and we have the same problem! Very frustrating, I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. :)

As far as the milk, my son never really took to milk either. However, I did find he loves his milk with the herbalife shake mix. This is full of great vitamins and minerals, plus protein and fiber. Best of all - there are no artificial sweetners, flavors, or colors! My son loves strawberry the best, but really drinks vanilla and chocolate too. You can get your $$ if they don't like it or any reason! If you are interested, feel free to give me a call ###-###-#### or you can shop online at www.shopherbalife.com/kbachman.

Good Luck!
K.

You've got some good advice here. Consistency. That is KEY. Yelling is not really a good option. There are really no consequences with that.

Try taking something away that he loves. 1-2-3 Magic is a good tool.

But consistency is KEY. Every time. No exceptions. Even if you're in the middle of the grocery store and he throws a tantrum. You have to be prepared to leave your cart and just leave. Kids KNOW. They know when we are most likely to not give them consequences and they will put on a big show right then.

Remember, you're the parent. He is the child.

As far as milk. It's not necessary. Yes, they need the fat content for proper brain development. BUT that can be obtained other ways. Whole milk cheese, whole milk yogurt, Cod Liver Oil (Nordic Naturals is a great brand with flavors. My daughter takes it every day and loves it.) Avocado is also a good source of good fat. Olive Oil on his pasta and other things... good. So, lots of ways for him to get what he needs without drinking milk.

My daughter does not drink milk by my choice. I make sure she gets the fat she needs through her other food choices and she is doing great. So... relax on the milk thing.

Most moms will probably tell you that this is a phase that kids go through. I would suggest that you find something that he loves and take it away as a consequence for unacceptable behavior. Take a look at 1-2-3 Magic. It worked for us!

Good luck,

S.

A great book: "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk" Faber/Malisch (spelling?) Your son is the perfect age for this book. Just remember he's not a small adult and needs to be listened to and talked to differently. From my experience, starting with a daughter makes the younger son seem crazy! I had the opposite and my daughter seems like an angel, although she's not!

He is two! Two year olds, esp. boys, just don't listen all of the time. Try telling him what you need him to do or not do in a postive way, e.g. instead of NO, NO, or STOP, how about "use nice hands" or "get off of the chair".

Part of being the age, but good you are looking long term.

My recommendation, #1 don't yell. I have found my children respond much better when being spoken to in a firm, but not yelling tone. Tell him, "What did I say" and if he is talking, make him tell you back what you said and then ask him if he did what he was told not to. If he says yes, then tell him because you did that, you need to sit on the chair.
Just make sure he knows WHY he is on the chair.

Also, another big mistake I have seen with parents is they tend to yell from another room. If you do, get up and go address the issue in person. They can be sneeky little planners when they know that Mom or Dad won't "really" come and do anything.

Milk? I wouldn't worry too much. If you really want him to drink it, let him help you pour it and see if by him getting his own drink it means more. I know if I "race" my daughter on "who can get dressed first for bed" I don't have arguments .. When she refuses to eat something, I have her help me make it the next time .. somehow she wants to at least try it! lol

I hope that helps in some way.