My two daughters ages 8 & 10 will be taking their 2nd trip to Orgeon from Hawaii to visit grandma and grandpa and family. Their first trip they were accompanied by their aunt on the plane. They had a great trip, home sick set in more with my elder daughter than with my 8 yr daughter. Some crying here and their, but i believe it is normal and ok.
Tonight my older daughter came to me crying, she said she didnt want to go and fly by themselves to see grandma and grandpa, she said she was afraid and scared. This trip they will be unaccompanied by any family or firend. Tickets are purchased and non refundable. e plan to send them any way ,as my wife plans to join them for the return trip 1 week into their 2 week trip.
Please give some ideas on how we can coach my daughters into not being afraid or scared of flying by themselves? i dont want this trip to ruin the idea of being able to have fun and being able to see grandma and grandpa whom turn 80 this year.
Your advice and ideas are much appreciated.
Thank D.
your daughters are 8 & 10.....& the g.parents are 80. Homesick, crying here & there.....how can you say it was a great trip last year?
Kids who are happy & content are not homesick....& do not cry. & this year, they have to do this ALONE. My heart goes out to them.
Sometimes, as parents, we only see what we want to see. Do you think this might be the case?
The other posters had good ideas on how to help the girls....hope it helps. Peace!
Hi D., I would not put the kids on a plane with out a parent. I have a 5 year old who was put on a plane to go to her hrandma's house and even though it was only a hour flight the Navy was against it and would not issue her an ID card because she was going to be flying without a parent, they advised agaisnt it. J.
Hi D.,
With our son, who sounds similar to your daughter, we've found that the easiest way to work through a situation such as this is to simply ask HIM what would make it easier/more fun/exciting/less scary/ (fill in the blank). You might be surprised to find out that your daughter has some great ideas of how you can help her. For example, my young son had to travel to my in-laws for a visit and then stay with them without me (an idea that he was not excited about at first). When I asked him what I could do to help him, he told me that he'd like me to call him at bedtime and that he'd like me to write some notes for him to read while he's gone (e.g. written ahead of time, hidden in his suitcase and other belongings for him to find during his trip). I was surprised and grateful that he came up with some self-soothing ideas on his own. I think that it helps our kids to become more self aware when they are given the opportunity to grow in this way. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. :)
Remind her how lucky she is to get to travel. That there are many other little girls and boys who brave the air plane ride alone. Tell her she can take her favorite book/toy/ect to stay occupied on the plane. Tell her how much Grandma and Grandpa are looking forward to see her. I do not know your daughters personality, but just be the firm yet reassuring parent. She may cry and be home sick, but she will live and it is important for her to make these memories with extended family. I know you might feel terrible and concerned now, but in no time at all this will be a distant memory.
I flew alone all of the time from the time I was 8. They used to have a flight attendant accompany me (and all kids under maybe 13). They would make sure I made it to my next flight, that I was ok on the plane, and that the correct person picked me up. Not only will they have that help, but they will have each other. Ask each of them separately what their specific fears are (since your youngest might be just fine), and work with them.
The one thing I would figure out is a plan for if something happens and they get lost. Make sure they know the plan well. They need phone numbers for you, their grandparents, etc, and some coins for a pay phone. They can of course go up to flight attendants and use their phone, but just in case. They also need to know who they can go up to and ask for help.
Family visits are so very important - I grew up overseas and those few-and-far-in-between visits from Grandparents and other relatives are clear, wonderful memories in my childhood. You are absolutely doing the right thing with making that time a priority.
I think calm reassurance is what your daughters need. "of course it'll be a little scary, but then, you will be in Hawaii, Grandma & Grandpa will be so-o-o happy to see you, and you'll never have to worry about being scared of that again! Besides, did you know that flight attendants are told about children who are having a travel adventure? They look out especially for you".
The fear of doing something new and a bit daunting is normal. Let them know that, but remind them about how important it is to get to spend time with their grandparents.("twice as much time as Mom is going to get!")
Homesickness is a normal part of growing up, and they should know it's fine to feel it, and that it soon dissipates. With modern technology, they can call you from the airplane as soon as they touch down (and you should arrange just that, maybe).
~~ and you do want to make sure there are lots of choices for activities on the plane, -- some each of snacks, books, puzzles, cards, dvds or ipods. Write little notes, and sneak them into backpacks or between the pages of books as 'hugs' from you.
I do hope the fear subsides and the idea of adventure creeps in! With gentle reassurance, I bet they'll be fine.
note - we now have my elderly Mom fly "escorted" because it's taken the anxiety out of the equation (for her AND for us), gate to gate. And we can take her to the gate when her ticket is so marked. Please tell them our Grandma Fran is eager to travel again now, and we're all so happy.
Hi D.,
Do they know they will be flying unaccompanied minor - so they will have a flight attendant who is "assigned" to help them - it's not like they have to fend for themselves the whole time.... they will have another adult who they will meet at the gate and who will make sure they get to their destination safely.
I would also maybe get them something special to do on the flight - that's a pretty long flight. Maybe get them a DVD player and let them pick out movies to take that they can only watch on the flight - to make it special.
good luck.
