Two Boys - How Much Is Too Much Rough-housing

Hey, K. ~

Congratulations on having two healthy, active boys! I have two boys myself - although 4 years apart - and I know if I tried to keep them from roughhousing during the day I'd never get anything else done! My older son is like yours, very kinesthetic and affectionate, and my thought is this: as long as his little brother is okay with it, why should I stop it? Kids are going to get hurt because they're kids, and hopefully letting them do it in a safe, supervised environment will limit the physical damage when they're elsewhere. Plus, it gives them an opportunity to learn empathy for one another, and forgiveness when they are hurt. We have had to devote quite a bit of attention to my older son's physical interaction with strangers, but that is an entirely separate issue.

It sounds like you're doing a terrific job, K., letting your boys be boys while still protecting them. Keep it up!

~ R.

1 mom found this helpful

I have two older sons who are 16 months apart in age - they are now in their early/mid 20s - when they were little they were always rough-housing and fighting but through high school became very close and are now each other's best friend - the older one is usually jealous of the younger getting attention and the younger usually wants to do everything the older one can so setting limits is a good idea but don't get too frustrated when it doesn't work all the time - just always treat them with equal respect - never favor or believe one over the other unless experience leads you to see otherwise but at this age just love them both and teach them to love and appreciate each other - good luck.

Hello!

I do no thave boys, but they just had an article on this in the April Parents magazine. The expert basically said that we step in often too soon when they play like that, or something along those lines. The author was Michael Thompson and they were quoting from his book "it's a boy!"

Hope this helps!
D.

I wouldn't let them rough house since they are so young. I'm always afraid of kids getting hurt and when I go ahead and let them go at it, someone usually does! Go with your gut! :)

Just "ditto" to Rachel.
T

I usually let my two boys play whatever they want, but the rules are no hitting on the face, no throwing hard objects (pillows are ok), playing only in open areas where there are no sharp objects, and the moment someone screams, everything stops, no matter what it is. Of course accidents will happen anyway, but this way I try to diminish the risks. And of course they can't engage in rough play when one of them is frustrated. A lot of times my older son (8) is mad and wants to play with his brother (4) to wind down. But I know it's not the time. Also, if I cannot handle the noise, they have to slow down. Other than that, it's all good.
Good luck!

I have 2 boys as well although my oldest is 7 and my youngest is 2 at the moment. My oldest boy is very affectionate and loves to rough house with his brother. I just tell my oldest to remember that my youngest is smaller and to be careful with him and let them rough house and be boys while I am watching. Boys will be boys and rough housing is normal. I will even get down on the floor and rough house with them both. It is fun and uses up the energy they have in them and is good exercise for me. I think they need to play in order to learn their limits and what they like and don't like. They usually complain in one way or another if they don't like something that is being done. Then you stop it for a few minutes and let them start back up a little later if they want.