Two Boys Getting to Be a Hand Full

I think it has to do with the daycare center. I stay at home with my girls because i want to and I hatye dayvare. I would asume it is someone or something at the daycare

Where are you located. I am a mother of 3 kids. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. Maybe the boys need some other kids to paly with. I have an in-home daycare in my Spotsylvania/surrounding area home, and I have a small play group here, mabe that they dont want to be around big crowd of kids right now. My boys are 6 and 10, and as I see it, now boys are boys, and I do understand that, but maybe they need to be around other people. Let me know if you might have any other questions for me, I have AFFORDABLE RATES AND GREAT REFERENCES avialble and like I tell everyone that I talk to I ma CHEAPER than a regualar daycare center would be. You can either message me back on myspace at ____@____.com or you can email me at ____@____.com, if you might have any other questions. Good luck!

Thanks J.

What is the sitter doing when the boys act up? How is she responding? My sitter seems to handle things properly when my 2 yo acts out, but there have been times that he's done things that she thought were minor or since he didn't actually bite, he just tried it's not worth a time out. I asked her to PLEASE give him timeouts for those things and explained why.

It's important that the parents and the daycare provider are a team in the discipline arena.

I am a 28 yr old single mother. My son is going to be 4 in June and I have the same issues. I give him a talk every morning in the car before going into daycare. I tell him if he gets a bad report from school he isn't getting any treats after school (this includes his night snack). I have had to go as far as taking his outdoor play time away. The key that I have found is to find his favorite thing. My son would rather run around the back yard then watch tv. If its raining out and he has been bad he gets the tv taken away from him. He is starting to realize it can get very boring after school when he is bad. Good Luck...I know its hard, at least she has you because my mother isn't around so I do it alone.

Go to the bookstore and buy two copies of the book "1,2,3, Magic". Give one to the babysitter and you and your daughter read the other. Discuss the strategies and be consistant across the board. If everyone presents a united front, things should improve.

I agree with others in that you should find out how it is being handled in the moment...if it isn't being adressed until they are picked up, what is the point in that?
Also, maybe seeking out a new way for you both to handle and dicipline them, if what you are doing is not working anymore. Some suggestions to try, maybe create a chart at home, with both of their names, and give them each a sticker to put under their name for each day they behave appropriately in daycare, making sure to explain thoroughly what is acceptable, and what isn't. Have some type of reward after so many good days for each of them. When they get the reward, start the chart again, only with more stickers required for the next reward. Or if there is something they enjoy playing with a lot, take it away when they get home if they didn't behave at daycare that day. Hopefully you can find something that is important to them to inspire the appropriate behavior.
I would, however, talk to the day care providers to come up with appropriate discipline in the moment of this behavior. Good luck!
K.

These boys are missing their dad. Get him more involved in their lives no matter what. Even if the parents do not get along, you cannot not keep them from their father without them suffering the consequences. They are males and need a male in their lives; unless it is not a positive influence.

Hi K.,

Are you saying that the babysitter is reporting the behavior of the two boys?

Or are you having problem with the behavior of the two boys?

Just want to know. Thanks D.

There is a respect issue. If the children don't do this at your house they do it at home more than likely. When the children are at the childcare the setter needs to directly punish the child calling names RIGHT when he does it. The first look that says
"I'm about to call you a name or the start of name calling" He needs to be told "We don't talk like that here" and be taken by the hand or picked up and put on time out away from the other kids. If he throws a fit he needs to be taken into another room and left there, where it's safe. If there isn't a safe place the setting needs to keep the child with him by their side. Do not let the child have control over what he wants to do for the next 5 min. After he has followed your directions for 5min. than say since your following my directions you are welcome to go play. If he stats up again than repeat it again. Do it over and over until he stops. There is no need to punish when they get home that is too late. (only if he is doing the same thing at home should so punish and it should be the same thing the sitter is doing. Doing this will teach who is in charge so they will follow your directions. Your directions are "We don't talk like that" Good luck this will take energy but will work out in the end.

Since they respond to your correction, I would check into what's going on there at the sitter's. Maybe they are being bullied or maybe they are board. When my oldest was young, I had to work outside the home too. He would get into all kinds of "trouble" at the sitter's. We took him out and put him into a more active child care place and he was sooooo much happier. Turns out, the sitter didn't take him outside much and wanted him to sit and play quite most of the time. That's not what works with most boys. They are created to burn energy!

Behavior is a child's way of telling us something's up when they don't know how to put what they are feeling into words. And please keep in mind that not all people interpret behavior the same. What I mean is, the sitter may feel that some behavior is "bad" when it's not that big a deal to you. Hope this makes sense to you like it does in my brain. LOL

Take Care, N.=) F.R.O.G. IT!
Wife to the greatest man for 15yrs & blessed to be a SAHM of 3 AWESOME boys 12, 7 & 2 yrs old.

Hi K.,
The key is to show a united front. No the sitter isn't their mother, but she is in charge and what she says is the same as their mom being there. Also, the discipline technique should be the same. We connect their school/daycare behaviour with activities. Nintendo, TV, bike riding, etc. Misbehave at school and lose a fun thing for 2 days.
Good luck.
M.

It sounds like your daughter needs to have a talk with the day care provider and find out how she's dealing with the situation. Name-calling and saying stuff like "you're not my mom" sounds like pretty normal stuff that the provider needs to deal with when it happens, with some kind of stern talk or time-out. Disciplining the boys hours later at home probably won't have much effect. The provider may be over her head. Or she might have suggestions,

If your grandson is in day care and not school at 6, it could be that he's a lot older than the other kids and is expiramenting with throwing his weight around.